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Major Life Updates and Big Lessons Learned

It has been a while since I’ve done a solo episode and there’s no better time than now. So many things have been happening in my life lately and it goes to show how when things slow down it’s because it’s about to speed up! In this episode, I share some life changing decisions that have been made and the lessons I’ve learned along the way. These decisions were hard to make only because I wanted to be in control. But when I surrendered to the natural cycle of things and realized that I don’t need to know the next step, it all fell into place perfectly. Remember, you get to claim what you have in your life but you don’t claim how or when. And when you’re on the right path, doors will open. 

Show Notes:

[3:01] – Elyse announces that she is moving and that she has a new mentor. She also has openings for private coaching.

[4:36] – This year has been great, but there were months that Elyse had slow energy.

[6:05] – Elyse was able to achieve a lot this year including the ability to retire her husband early.

[8:17] – Things slow down before they speed up. Know the slowness is temporary.

[9:54] – What did Elyse focus on during this time to help her through?

[11:30] – Elyse and her family are moving and she is excited but it is bittersweet.

[13:12] – Although not necessary to move yet, Elyse and her husband felt called to move sooner.

[15:54] – Elyse describes the loan experience this time around in buying a new home.

[17:04] – Mortgages are not designed well for entrepreneurs.

[18:40] – Things will not always pan out the way you think it’s meant to.

[19:57] – When you get a clear no on something, you focus on prayer and meditation.

[22:20] – Elyse discovered a bank statement loan but had an issue with the lender.

[25:35] – Finally, Elyse became frustrated and gave up trying to figure it out and make something happen.

[28:29] – The “right” place was taken but Elyse trusted that the better one was meant for her.

[30:27] – What else is possible might be better than what you think is the only option.

[31:39] – Hold yourself to a higher standard and have higher standards for yourself.

[33:24] – Give yourself permission to live the life on your vision board.

[36:54] – Elyse hired a shaman and has three coaches that she works with.

[38:33] – She has wanted to hire her for a while, but was not called to do so. She had a health issue that was a clear message that she needed deeper healing.

[39:50] – Elyse shares one of her daily affirmations and experiences after using it.

[43:12] – When you open yourself up to spirituality, you may have seemingly strange experiences.

[44:31] – The shaman Elyse is working with knew immediately the scarcity mindset that Elyse grew up learning.

[47:00] – She describes a trance her shaman put her in to find something that needed healing.

[49:50] – The shaman saw everything Elyse saw in her vision.

[51:36] – Get the help, mentoring, and support you need for every part of your life.

[53:04] – What is holding you back from your next level is likely not what you think it is.

Links and Resources:

Instagram  |  LinkedIn  |  YouTube

She Sells with Elyse Archer Home Page

Tweetables and Quotes:

“I feel called to grow and scale this brand.” – Elyse Archer

“It is normal for us to have times in our lives that are slower. We have to have times like this where things slow down in order for things to speed up.” – Elyse Archer

“Pay attention to when you feel called to take action.” – Elyse Archer

“When you’re ready for the next level, you don’t need to know all the steps.” – Elyse Archer

“You get to claim what you have in your life but you don’t claim how or when.” – Elyse Archer

“When you’re on the right path, doors will open.” – Elyse Archer

Elyse (00:02):

Welcome to she sells radio. Okay. So I am laughing because I’m actually recording a podcast, a solo podcast for you today, which I am thrilled to be. It feels like it’s been a while. So I’m actually really excited to be doing a solo episode, but as I went to hit record, and if you are a podcast or if you know any, you know, that oftentimes, uh, when you’ve got the time scheduled to record, like that’s when you have to record, if you got to, you know, if you got kind of a crazy week outside of that, and this is the one time I have to record right now, and a woodchipper literally just pulled up right in front of our house. There was some guys like trimming trees outside earlier today. And so I’m just laughing it’s podcast or life, right? Sometimes, uh, sometimes that’s how it goes.

Elyse (00:49):

So hopefully you don’t hear a lot of crazy background noise if you do. I think they’re making their way down the street and hopefully it won’t be, it won’t be loud for long, but hi, welcome to sales radio. I am so excited to be doing this solo episode with you. And, oh my gosh. It’s like, where do we even begin? There are so many things that have happened or changed in my life recently. And I’ve learned some really powerful lessons that I want to share with you. And some of the lessons or things I was learning earlier this year, but I felt like I was more in the middle of it. And wasn’t prepared to share with a super powerful perspective yet. And so some of these things are things that I’ve been learning for the past few months, and now it’s like, okay, I get it.

Elyse (01:38):

And I feel like I can give some context for things now. Um, and some are some things that have happened really fast, but super, super powerful lessons leads. That’s my aim for you today is some super powerful lessons for you. So two, um, two things I’m going to be talking about today, and then we’ll kind of get into it. One we’re moving and, uh, it’s it’s happened when it started really happening. It happens so fast and there’ve been so many lessons about self-worth and about what we accept for ourselves that I want to share with you today. Um, two is I I’m working with some incredible mentors and one of them who I hired recently is a shaman. And she’s so amazing. And I’m going to see at some point, if I can get her on the podcast, I have a feeling she’ll say yes.

Elyse (02:30):

Um, but I did my first session with her last week and it was profound. And so I’m going to share with you, um, I’m going to share with you in just a little bit what happened and what my takeaways were for you from that as well. Cause there’s so much I learned in it. That’s going to apply to you too. So I’m going to dive into all of that before we get into things too much. Um, I do want to let you know, I’ve got one, maybe two openings right now for private clients. So if you are interested, you’re wanting more support for me to help you achieve a big goal by the end of the year, to help you. Um, really just, yeah, quantum leap it through the end of this year, send me a DM and I’ll be happy to send you the link to apply.

Elyse (03:11):

You can also just email elyse@elisearcher.com. If you want to get that application link for, um, for private mentoring and coaching for me. So, okay, so let’s get into it. So here is, I’m going to share, I’m going to share both the highs and the lows I’m not going to get into. It’s been a really good year. Like I’m just going to be honest. It’s been a really good year, but here here’s also, what part of my experience of this year was April through June of this year, honestly felt pretty heavy to me. Like they maybe heavy isn’t the right word, but they felt like they had slow energy. It felt in certain aspects of my life. Um, it almost felt like slugging through mud. And if you are, you know, if you’re wired like me and you want to constantly be like growing and upleveling and expanding, that can be really hard.

Elyse (04:09):

That can be really hard. So if you’re there right now, I feel you, like, I feel you. And I was, I was definitely there over a decent part of the summer. And you know, we’ve been coming off some really fast growth with the launch of our new 10 K club program. And I was kind of in this place of like, wow, okay, we’ve got something here that women really want, and I need to get the right people and systems and, um, foundation in place to really help sustain and grow it. And so it was kind of that place of, oh my gosh, we just had so much growth. And now we want to make sure that that growth is built on a strong foundation. So there was, um, a lot of, a lot of systems, a lot of hiring, a lot of making mistakes there, which I’ll maybe talk about on another podcast episode.

Elyse (05:01):

Um, and, and it’s not to say that there weren’t some really great things. Like there were major highs during those months, you know, I was able to retire my husband from his work and really achieve, I would say a deeper level of spiritual connection as well that I’ve ever experienced, which I’ll speak about when I talk about hiring, um, my shaman recently, but they were, those things were definitely coupled with a lot of personal growth and some tough lessons, for sure. Some tough lessons in leadership in trusting my instincts and really trusting like how I feel called to grow and scale this brand. And so, you know, the point of all of this is, you know, I’m not going to spend a lot yeah. Time on the moments of frustration today. Cause like I said, I, I can speak to the lessons there in another podcast.

Elyse (05:53):

Um, but what I want to talk about is understanding the natural cycles of things. And this is what, this is what I really want to share from that because those months felt slow and heavy. And there were times where I felt very frustrated and there were times where I questioned myself and there were times where it was like, oh, am I, you know, do I know what I’m doing in certain areas? Like there was definitely times of that. Um, and it did feel like a bit of a heavier experience in certain elements. You know, part of what’s helpful about understanding natural cycles of things, if that’s any part of your experience right now, but you’re going through is that that is normal, that it is normal to have times like that in your life. It doesn’t mean it’s, it doesn’t mean it’s fun. It doesn’t mean that we like pray for them and want them all the time.

Elyse (06:49):

But there are times in our lives when things have to slow down so they can speed up. And this is where we want to really deepen our understanding of you can look at, you know, biomimicry, which is how we can take lessons from nature, um, to, to model our lives and our businesses and our sales off of, um, and one of the universal laws, there’s the law of rhythm, right? That things go up and down and there’s an ebb and a flow to things. And so I just want to encourage you, you know, if you’re in a place and this, this really isn’t the point of the whole podcast because things started moving really fast towards the end of July. And that’s what I’m going to speak to today. Um, but if you’re in a place where things feel slow and you feel, maybe you feel a little bit like you’re in the womb, right?

Elyse (07:38):

Like you’re, you’re like what’s going on. I know there’s stuff coming. Like maybe you’re launching something new. Maybe you’re feeling called to move. Like we were during that time, but we didn’t have clarity yet on how it was going to happen and what it was going to look like. And it could feel frustrating. Like what’s, you know, what’s happening next and where am I going? And oh, I just want, like, I want the manifestation of this. I want it to happen. No, that it’s temporary. Okay. Know that it’s temporary. So just like, if you’re pregnant, like you don’t stay pregnant forever. Right. The baby does come, but you have to trust that things are always working on your behalf. You don’t want for lack of better words. Like you don’t want the baby coming out and half-baked, so we want that. We want to trust that things are working in happening.

Elyse (08:24):

But if you’re in that experience of being, you know, feeling like you’re in the womb, I was there. All right, let’s just call it what it is. I felt like I was in the womb the summer I’m being reassigned by the fire in certain ways. But so what happens is when you keep the faith during those experiences and you can kind of think about it like that. And how I learned to shift my perspective was to look at what can I move forward on right now? And what’s my energy in this time. I really, really, really focused on that joyful, grateful anticipation of what I knew I wanted to create in my business, in my finances, in my personal life. And staying focused on that and staying more in that like excited anticipation of all my gosh, I can’t wait to see how it’s going to come together.

Elyse (09:15):

And when you’re in that energy it’ll happen. You don’t prolong the time in which you’re in the womb. Okay. So many pregnancy, oh, it is today, but it felt appropriate. So here’s what happened. And here’s what will happen to in your life is when you go through one of those periods that may feel like you’re slogging through mud, that may feel more challenging when you stay focused on the end result that you’re creating. And when you can learn to have as much peace as possible, during that more in the grateful anticipation of how it’s going to come together and work out for you rather than any sort of worry or fear or anxiety about the process, because that doesn’t help you create anything powerful. Um, when things come, when things start actually manifesting in your life, it’ll, it will probably feel like it’s happening fast.

Elyse (10:07):

And so that’s what happened. I would say like mid July up until now when I’m recording, which is end of August as maybe even late July, like things started clicking like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, fast. And so, so I’m going to share with you two of the things that have happened that happened in really powerful ways and the lessons that I’ve learned from them that I think will, will hopefully be helpful for you. So number one, we are moving, oh my gosh, I am so excited. This is fun underway. It’s definitely bittersweet because we not only as part of my family here in Atlanta, where we are, but I’ve made some really amazing friends here. And that part, um, that part always feels tough, right. That part always feels tough, but we’ve, so here’s a little bit of context. Um, we’ve been planning to move up to Maine for Jason’s medical school for a while now.

Elyse (11:06):

Um, and he’s not going to be going until fall. Oh, by the way, if you’re new to this podcast, hi, most episodes aren’t like this, but hopefully you’re enjoying it. And for context, Jason’s my husband. So he’s not going to be going there until fall of next year. But we were, I just have had this strong feeling that it’s been time to move like the summer slash early fall. And so we’d started taking action on that and we were really open to like, okay, maybe we’re meant to just move up there now and live there, you know, for a year and kind of get settled before his medical school starts. And so we, um, we actually flew up in June to Maine to look at houses. And one little lesson I would take from that for you is you can really learn to trust yourself and kind of trust.

Elyse (11:56):

When do you feel called to take an action on something? And when do you feel called to sit back and not, and you don’t have to see the full thing of how it’s going to pan out and you never will when you’re making the up levels. So, um, so for us, we were like, okay, we feel like we’re being called to move sooner than later. Um, we don’t know how it’s all gonna pan out yet, but what’s one thing we can do. We can go up to Maine and look at homes and like check it out and see what it’s like. So we flew up, we met with a realtor and we, and here’s another, I think hopefully important less. I feel like we looked at the homes that we would actually want to live in at this point, which, and it’s not that we don’t, we live in a beautiful home right now.

Elyse (12:37):

It’s a beautiful home, but it’s not what I would buy at this point in my life. We bought it a couple of years ago. It’s gorgeous. It’s everything we needed and wanted at the time. It’s still perfect and great in so many ways, but we’re, we’re, we’re definitely ready for, you know, an Uplevel and expansion. So we, we looked at homes that we would want to live in, not things that were like, well, we know, you know, we know we can afford that because that’s what we did last time. And so I just want you to remember with that. And it was, I, you know, I, there were definitely times where I was like, oh my gosh are be really like, are we looking at this house? Is this happening right now? And, um, I had to really work on my self image there too.

Elyse (13:22):

Uh, I was like, see, and this is something that I would encourage you to do in the Uplevel is you’ve got to learn to see yourself as the person who has that thing you’re going for. That’s a lot of the lesson that I’ve had from the past few months, uh, really, probably more from this past year. But anyway, when you’re ready for that next level, you don’t need to know all the steps. You just need to know, what’s the next thing that you can do. And if you don’t know, then you meditate, then you pray, then you, then you do the thing, you get clarity on what it is. Um, and, and remembering that you don’t need to know how something is meant to happen. You know, with those homes, all that we knew, all that we cared about was looking at what we wanted and trusting that the, how would come into place.

Elyse (14:05):

And so we found several homes in that process that were amazing and we’re like, we would, we would actually really love this. Um, and that felt, that felt like they could be right for us, but they were definitely more in our current home, you know, in terms of price. They’re about three times more than our current home. But my attitude through the whole thing was that I trusted, I trusted and knew that what was meant to be would easily fall into place. And I think that’s part of how I’ve learned to live my life and how I would encourage you to live your life too, is that when you’re in alignment, which means that you’re moving forward in your expansion, your, um, you know, you’re claiming your Uplevel and you’re taking that aligned action. Things will fall pretty easily into place for you now here’s where things did not fall easily into place for us.

Elyse (15:00):

And here, and there was a big lesson from this too. So when we got back from, from Portland, it was like, we’d seen a lot of homes that were beautiful. And actually, as I say this, I should probably clarify, we didn’t find any homes that were like, perfect, perfect on that trip. I found some stuff I loved and Jason was like onboard, and then he wasn’t totally on board. And then I started thinking about it. I was like, yeah, there’s some things that weren’t super ideal with some of them, but we got back and we found a home on Sylo that we hadn’t seen over there. And we’re like, oh my gosh, this is, this would be our dream. So we were like, okay, what’s the next step? Well, as you know, any, you homeowners now, you got to get, if you don’t have the full cash in the bank for it, you got to get your mortgage.

Elyse (15:39):

And so this loan experience was very interesting this time around. So I’ve, I’ve owned multiple, multiple homes in my life have never had an issue with getting a mortgage for the home. I wanted. What I learned in this experience though, was fascinating. So mortgages aren’t really made so much for entrepreneurs, at least most traditional mortgages aren’t. And so the way that we had to do the loan this time, and I promise there’s a point to all of this that we’re going to apply to you. You can just kind of laugh at the story, but the way that we had to do the loan was based on how I pay myself through my business. So I I’m an escort. So I pay myself on a W2, but I don’t pay myself very much at all on my tax returns. Um, it’s a very low salary. And so we had to do it.

Elyse (16:32):

I didn’t know this going into it. We had to do it based on that, based on that salary that I pay myself, um, which is not enough for most people live off of, uh, you know, we supplement with other business income. Um, but we couldn’t include Jason since he’s not working anymore since we retired him. And so we go to get this loan and we’re like, you know, the, the home that we’re looking at, it’s like, I know we can do the monthly payments on it. It’s um, like I’m like, yeah, in my brain, this is all gonna work perfectly. When we go to get the loan, what we’re told we would be approved for, I thought it was a joke. I literally thought it was a joke like our child, our one-year-old Jack or my dog could get approved for a bigger loan than they were telling us we could get approval for.

Elyse (17:20):

And we went to multiple, we, we actually checked out two different lenders, both said the same thing. And here’s what I will say. Um, it was, it was demoralizing. Like I, there was a moment and it wasn’t long though it was probably a minute or two where I felt demoralized. But again, you gotta remember when you’re taking that aligned action and moving forward, things are not always going to pan out the way that you think they will, but you got to keep moving forward and you’ve got to take action and you have to, there’s no point in stressing about it when something doesn’t happen the way you think it’s meant to or supposed to, because your attitude has to be okay. So I’m still committed to my end goal. That’s not, that’s clearly not how it’s going to happen. So what is, what is, and so in that moment, um, I didn’t really feel clear on what to do next.

Elyse (18:13):

And there was no major pressure to like move right now. So honestly, we just kind of took our foot off the gas for about a month. And we said, we’re feeling called to move, you know, a loan, the traditional way. Isn’t going to work for what we’re doing right now. So I was like, gosh, am I like, are we meant to pay cash for this home? And I need to start thinking through very different launch strategy, yada yada, um, is it something else? So it kind of just chilled about it for a little bit and prayed over it. And I just kept asking, like, I kept visualizing what we wanted, um, which was a certain type of home and asked to be shown the next step. Um, and just stayed focused on that. And so when, when you get a clear, no on something, when the faucet really turns off, um, the time that’s not the time usually to try to push it harder, that’s the time to go into prayer and meditation and ask what is meant to happen here.

Elyse (19:14):

And what is my next step here? Staying again, staying. It does not mean it’s not going to happen for you. So I want you to be very clear on this. You get to claim what you desire for your life, for your sales, for your business, for your life. You get to say this is happening, but you don’t get to determine how and you also don’t get to determine when, okay. So we got to get a little less, um, grippy about those things and learn to enjoy the journey a little bit more here. So about a month after that, I’d been just again, focusing on like being in the energy of moving. And I even like during my mom time, I would, I would take Jack to home Depot with me and we’d go get moving boxes. And I remember being in home Depot a couple months ago and it was like very clear download by 10 moving boxes.

Elyse (20:02):

I thought this feels weird. We’re not moving yet. That I know of. I don’t know. I don’t know where, how, but I’ll buy them. And we just started like getting stuff into boxes and thinking about what’s the process going to need to be, to sell our current home and starting getting things like fixed up and tidy it up around here, like taking the action we knew we could take in that moment, um, without knowing what else we were meant to do at that point. So a month later, give, give or take a month later after, you know, finding out that the traditional mortgage was not going to work for us, um, on a, on a call with one of my girlfriends. And she mentioned this type of loan that’s really made for entrepreneurs, uh, which is, uh, a bank statement loan. I wasn’t familiar with it, but they actually do your loan based on your bank statement and how much cash you have in there rather than based on how much you pay yourself on your, on your W2 or your tax returns.

Elyse (20:56):

And I was like, oh my gosh, this is like, this is, this is how we get this home that we mined. And so, you know, start going down that path. I connected on, I connected on it with a few different lenders and one of them just wasn’t the right vibe, but the other one was, and I started working with this guy to put everything together for this bank statement loan. And it was literally clicking so smoothly, so easily everything coming together, fast with it. And he literally just drops off the map about halfway through the process, like literally disappears. Now I’ve had this happen before, and you’ve probably had this happen before too. And most, I think most people and certainly at a certain time in my life, this would have been, my response would be to get pissy about it, write a negative review of the person, but here’s what I’ve learned.

Elyse (21:52):

And I would also invite you to look at any time in your life. Again, going back to when the faucet shuts off this, isn’t always the case, but often it is it’s often a strong redirect. And what I’ve learned in my own life is when that happens. It really means that I’m being redirected to take a different path. Not that I was going down a path that wasn’t for my highest good. And so it’s like, boom, shut off done. And so when that happened with this particular lender who had been so good, so responsive, um, I thought, gosh, this guy’s perfect. He’s exactly who we need to work with. I, I prayed. Yeah. I, I’d also starting to feel like maybe we were, we were pushing Maine too soon, but feeling like it was still very much time for us to move like energetically we’re complete and Atlanta.

Elyse (22:47):

And so it was like, gosh, this is such an interesting circle. This is an interesting situation. This isn’t happening the way I thought it was going to. So I really tapped in and prayed over. Like, I feel like we’re meant to move right now, but it doesn’t seem like it’s happening in Maine. At least the way we thought it was going to. So what else could this look like? And Jason and I had also started talking about like, we’ve lived a number of different places in our married life. Our favorite that we’ve lived so far is actually the city in North Carolina called Durham. And it’s, you know, maybe 20, 30 minutes outside of where I was born in Raleigh. And we lived there like right before we got married and it’s such a fun culture, such a fun vibe. There’s amazing food. I mean, all we want to do when we’re there is eat, but great arts, great culture, just so much fun.

Elyse (23:36):

And we had like, some of our, some of our favorite memories are from living interim. And so we’re like, well, you, what’s interesting about this is we don’t technically have to be in Maine for probably, you know, a year, nine months to a year. And what would it be like for us to live in Durham for a little bit to go back and live there? And we thought, gosh, you know, like what if we just moved there for about nine months and looked at it as a big adventure? And so think it’s going to be a lot of fun and trust that things are gonna fall into place in Maine as they’re meant to while we’re there. And so we started getting excited, um, about looking at, at moving back to Durham. Well, we started looking at, so we’re obviously, you know, we’re thinking we’re going to rent, uh, just for awhile because it doesn’t make sense to buy there for nine months.

Elyse (24:28):

So we’re looking at rentals, but there’s nothing. There’s like stuff that’s close, but there’s nothing that’s perfect. And we’re just, I noticed I had started to kind of grip it. And about one night, about two weeks ago, from the time at which I’m recording this, I literally, I noticed I was getting frustrated again. I melt down in my closet and my closet where literally I do all of my surrendering. It’s like, let me just, the closet is the place where I pray. I meditate, I get the download. I don’t know about you and your closet, but that’s where I feel like all the things happen in my life. And so I just surrendered it. I, I think I melt down in the closet and I surrendered the whole process and just asked for really clear guidance. I was like, I’m done trying to figure this out.

Elyse (25:12):

I’m done trying to make something happen. Nothing is lining up perfectly and easily. And even if we’re not meant to move right now, I’m okay with that. Like just show me clearly what we’re meant to do. And really it was literally just the next morning I woke up with this very clear knowing it was like a knowing in my gut that there’s a certain community in Durham that we’d actually looked at moving there a year ago too. And it just wasn’t the right time because Jack was only a couple months old, but there was a community that we had looked at and we loved, and it was beautiful. But at the time it also felt out of our price range of what we were wanting to do and what, what would have worked for us financially. But it was like, look here, and this is your, this is your place to move now.

Elyse (26:03):

So, and look up the place online. They’ve got a three bedroom plan that’s perfect for us and it shows their three available. And these, oh my gosh. I mean, the views from this place are insane. It’s, it’s just so perfect. But anyway, there’s three available and out of the three though, there’s this huge price difference between them and the lowest one. I could just tell the view in this one, wasn’t as good as the others. So I was like, mom, that’s not the one for us. There’s two left one that felt like a stretch for me. It was about double our mortgage payment right now, but I was like, it’s doable. And the other, that’s the penthouse unit in this complex. And it’s about three times our monthly mortgage right now. And I looked at that. I was like, oh, that’ll be nice for somebody else, but that’s not for us.

Elyse (26:55):

So, and so I call and I tell them same day that we want to apply for this three bedroom. And again, in my mind, I’m like, we need that one. That’s in the middle range. That’ll be perfect for us. It’s a stretch, but I can make it work. And while I’m on the phone with the leasing agent, that one gets rented literally on the phone with her. And that one that I wanted is rented. So it’s literally just the, the one that I wasn’t going to take because of the view and the penthouse that’s available now, of course, and I, you know, I, those of you who are my clients, you know, I do inner child work. And so my, uh, little Ilise inside is like, oh my gosh, that’s so much for the penthouses way too much for rent. And your parents would never approve and yada, yada, but I started thinking about it and it was, my heart was lit on fire by thinking about it.

Elyse (27:51):

It was exactly in so many ways what we wanted. And so I trusted that that was the one that was meant for us and applied. And within a day it was approved and done. And so that’s where we’re moving in about two weeks from the time at which I record this, we are so excited. And by the way, shout out to my North Carolina friends, because I can not wait to see you again. But there were two key lessons that I learned from this that I want to share with you. One is when you’re in alignment and you’re going down the right path for you right now, things will move fast. Um, things will move fast. And now if you hear that story, there’s been, you know, there’s been a, a good year of us feeling like we’re ready to move or ready to do something else, but nothing was like super, super clicking.

Elyse (28:44):

So we just kept taking the next steps in it, but didn’t have any sort of stress or frantic energy about it. But when we finally landed on, now, we’re going to go live in this place that we love the city that we love for nine months. And then we’re going to be guided to the right place from there and the right situation from there. It was, it happened so fast. Now this also doesn’t mean that the original path for you isn’t right. Either. Like I fully trust that we’re going to be in need. I fully, like, I know that I trust that, but the timing just wasn’t perfect. And so it may mean not right now. And you have to open up to what else is possible for you knowing that what else is possible is, is also going to be better for you. It’s going to grow you.

Elyse (29:32):

It’s going to expand you. And when you’re moving down your right path. So it’s not going to feel like you’re doing more of the same either. Like when I say that things are going to click and move fast and have ease to them, I don’t mean by easy. I don’t mean that it doesn’t feel like a stretch. Okay. This, this living situation feels like a big stretch for, for me, for Jason’s very comfortable. Jason’s like, well, of course we live here, which I love about him. Right. He’s, he’s great in that way. He’s like, of course, this is where we live. Why would you, you know, w why would you think otherwise, I found myself feeling like this is a big stretch, but, um, when you’re on the right path, like doors will open. The right people will show up and the right opportunities will present themselves and you’ll still have to take action and go for it.

Elyse (30:21):

And it will be a stretch. Like it’s mentally, I’ve had to stretch my mind around, actually, we can do this and look at it’s like, yeah, we, we can, it’s like way more than I’ve ever invested in a mortgage or rent anywhere, but like, yeah, we can do this, but you need to, you only need to know the next step to get started. Okay. The second, the second takeaway that I would encourage you to have there is to hold yourself to a higher standard, to have higher standards for yourself. And this goes for everything from your living situation, to how much money you earn to the type of clothes that you wear to how you give to the type of mentoring and coaching you receive. And as I say that, I’m like, oh, I’ve definitely had lessons in that area this week, and this best month that I’m going to share with you soon, too.

Elyse (31:14):

Okay. I literally just had to pause because now the leaf blower guy is here, but I think we’re good. This is a party in this podcast today. This is really a party. So thank you for bearing with me if you’re, if you’re still here, but so I want to invite you to hold yourself to a higher standard with what you accept for yourself. And, you know, this was presented to me so clearly and so beautifully. Um, last week I was talking to one of my girlfriends and one of my mastermind partners. And I, I was sharing with her, this story about the penthouse and the way that I phrased it. It was something like, you know, of course the one that I think I said, the one that fit our budget, um, wasn’t available. And of course the one that I want is the penthouse kind of like making fun of myself, but she reframed it.

Elyse (32:03):

She was like, no, no, no, that’s not what happened. She said, the penthouse is the one that was reserved for you. And I was like, ah, yes, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for the reminder. Yes. And it just, it takes seeing yourself in a higher light. It really does. And, but it’s fun and it’s expansive. And it’s, it’s really more about giving yourself permission to live a life that matches what you would have on your vision board and to live it now and not, um, not hold yourself back because of some limiting belief that you have about yourself. So I would invite you to look at what are you not allowing yourself to have, because you haven’t allowed yourself image to grow, to match it yet. You know, you’ve got to, you’ve got to see yourself as the person who does that thing has that thing is that thing.

Elyse (33:02):

And you know, the way that I have learned to think about this too, is the way that you manifest what you want powerfully is when you don’t even question whether something is true for you anymore. It just is. So for me, I think about, I don’t ever question now, and I, and I know that that in terms of gender identity, that this is a question for some people. So don’t use this, if this isn’t the right analogy for you, but for me, I don’t ever question whether I’m a woman. It just is like, I never go into fear or doubt or worry or questioning about whether that’s part of who I am. I don’t question about whether I’m going to eat today. I don’t question about whether I’m a mom, like, and think about those things in your life that you just accept as true for you.

Elyse (33:49):

That’s where we have to use the mindset and the belief work that you know, that I work on with my clients. And a lot of it is we do teach here in the podcast to get to that level of chillness about it, to anchor in your new identity. So it’s, you want to kind of think about like, for certain people, um, the amount of money that you want to make, or the type of living situation that you want, that would be their bare minimum, or they would feel like they were in extreme poverty. If they were making that amount, what for you feels like a lot for somebody else would feel like very little. And it’s just because of the belief systems that you have about it. And again, that stems from how did you grow up? What did you see your parents doing growing up?

Elyse (34:29):

You know, yada, yada, um, because it’s all relative. It’s all relative. Like where we’re moving for me is like, oh my gosh, this is, this is creating. It’s requiring an Uplevel and belief for myself, but Kim Kardashian wouldn’t live. I said, I don’t think so. She’d be like slumming. It I’m moving somewhere else. So we just, you know, it’s all, it’s all relative. It’s all relative. So we have to start to, I would invite you to start to decide that if it’s all going to be relative, that you’re going to accept a new level for yourself and, uh, that you, that you are worthy of deserving of so much more than you’ve been allowing it in your life. Okay. So that’s the moving. That is the moving saga. Yeah. And as we move in, in about two weeks, I will be sharing, uh, all the photos, all the it’s, the views of this place.

Elyse (35:23):

It looks right over the city. Um, you can see the there’s, it looks right over a ballpark actually. So there’s fireworks at night. And the having lived in this area before the sunsets are gorgeous. Like, I’m just so excited. So I’ll share, I’ll share a video tour, I’ll share it all on my Instagram. So stay tuned for that because it’s going to be so much fun. Okay. Second update. And this, I think is going to be a little shorter, hopefully, because I think Jason was waiting to take Jack down into our kitchen to feed him while I record this. So for Jack’s sake, this is going to be a shorter part of the podcast. So number two, I hired a shaman. I am so excited about this. I can barely contain it. So there’s, there’s three coaches who I’m working with right now. And this is, you know, something I would invite you to think about is it is normal and common to have multiple coaches.

Elyse (36:16):

So sometimes people will say, well, I can’t work with one person. So I’m already working with somebody else, but for every area of your life, if you want to grow and Excel in there, you want to hire support and mentorship. So my three coaches, one, I’ve got my business slash mindset coach. She’s the one I hired earlier this year and I just re-upped with her. And it’s actually the first time I’ve invested over six figures in a coach. And that felt very big and very stretchy. But, um, that’s another podcast episode for another day. Cause I’ll talk about some of the limiting beliefs that showed up there. Um, and what’s been happening since that. Um, I’m also working with a wealth and a finance coach and then now a shaman and a spiritual coach. And with this shaman, um, oh my gosh, she’s such a beautiful soul.

Elyse (37:05):

She’d actually been a client of mine years ago in my personal branding work. And I knew her very intimately and she’s an incredible woman. Um, she was actually an anesthesiologist for years in LA, but her patients always got better results than the other anesthesiologists there because of her energy and how she worked. And she’s just, like I said, I’m going to have to have her on the podcast. I’m actually going to see if I can get her out to Sedona for our retreat at the end of this year. But, you know, I felt like I meant I was meant to work with her in some way for a while, but there had never been a very clear like now is the time or here’s the purpose of it. And I’d had some health stuff occur recently and some things that it’s like, gosh, I thought this was healed.

Elyse (37:51):

And then it came back and I may share more on that later, not today, but right now, I just want to share that when it happened, it was a very clear knowing that it was time to go deeper into healing work than I had ever done before. And I’d also been really, really seeking to deepen my spiritual connection, um, and learn how do things really work like at a quantum level, at an energetic level, both for myself, but also really for my clients. Like I, everything I do and every coach I hire it’s, it’s not just for me, it’s because I want to, I don’t want my clients to get the best, best, best results they could possibly dream of. And I had hired her or, you know, I’ve been seeking to deepen my spiritual connection, um, for that purpose. And I’ve been really focusing on that the past year or so, and one of my daily affirmations.

Elyse (38:49):

And this is, um, this is something you can borrow if this is also something that you’re seeking to deepen for yourself is that the veil is lifted. And I now see the hidden meaning behind all things. And it’s been, so I’ve just, I’m going to share with you a couple of fun experiences with this cause it’ll, um, I was never someone who thought I would have experiences like this, but I’ve really learned that anyone can, if you’re open to it. So I’ve had some very interesting experiences using this affirmation and using this intention over the past few months. Um, I’ll just share two today real quick. And then we’ll talk about this first session with the shaman. So our dog, our 16 year old dog, um, passed away in April and she was, you know, my little best friend since college. And I’ve been studying a lot about the death transition and what that is and what that looks like and have had probably five, at least five experiences now where just wanting to connect with her, wanting to feel her energy and asking her to connect in whatever way she can and having the lights in the room that I’m in or on the, our outside patio, especially is where it happens flash off on, off, on, off, on like 16, 20 times, very rhythmically.

Elyse (40:08):

And so it’s, it’s interesting as you study this stuff, and this is part of what I’m interested to learn about when, um, when people, animal spirits transition electricity, for some reason is one of the primary ways they can connect and speak with us. But, um, but that was really, it was like, wow, I, I never thought I would see things like that in the physical world. And it started really getting me interested in how does this stuff all work? And I’ve also had some very interesting like psychic experiences. I don’t really know how else to explain them. Um, just knowing things about people knowing people’s names before they save them. And this is, it’s kind of a funny story, but, um, this is the longest podcast episode ever. This is what happens when I just get on the mic and rip. So hopefully this is at least entertaining you.

Elyse (40:59):

Um, my, my family and I were just driving around a rural part of Georgia a couple of weeks ago. We do Sunday family day and we just stumbled. We were like, let’s just see where we end up stumbled across this very cool crafts craft store slash wine bar, awesome place. But as we’re walking in, I hear this voice in my head that says, there’s someone here named Randy. I was like, okay, okay. That’s random and weird, but okay. And I just, I kinda was like, well, if I, cause I’ve been really focusing on connecting at a deeper level energetically, and I said, if that’s true, then just let it be very clear who it is, you know? So we walk in and I don’t say anything to Jason about it, but I kind of laughed to myself and we walk in and there’s a band playing out back.

Elyse (41:49):

So we sit and we get our wine, our cheeseboard, we sit out back and the band comes on, it’s a bluegrass band and they play a couple of songs that I was just awesome. It was so much fun, like perfect, perfect, perfect day. And I’m the lead singer steps onto the stage. And he says, hi everyone. My name is Randy, and I’m here, I’m here. This is so, and, and this is so and so, and I just, I laughed when I heard that. Cause I thought, number one, what are the chances? Number two. Why is that? Like, why do I need to know? So anyway, there’s zero points to that story. Other than when you open yourself up to this stuff, you’ll start to have interesting experiences like that. So I don’t know why I needed to know his name, but, um, it’s really gotten me very fascinated in going deeper into the spiritual realm, the energetic realm, and just deepening my connection there.

Elyse (42:45):

So anyway, I wanted to, I was so excited to hire this shaman because I really wanted to deepen this part of myself because there’s so much stuff that we’re just not aware of. Like when you get so caught up in the day to day and just survival, it could feel like survival mode or, you know, kind of focusing on everything outside of you. There’s just a lot that you don’t tap into that you have access to in terms of intuition in terms of abilities. And so it’s, it’s been a really amazing experience. I’ve just done one session with her so far, but I wanted to share with you a few things that happened and that she said that with lessons that are going to apply for you. So as soon as I did my first session with her, she said some things that resonated hugely.

Elyse (43:32):

So number one is she was like, you come from this family background of a lot of scarcity mindset. There’s a lot of scarcity thinking that needs to be healed in your family. And I thought, yeah, that is, that is true. So if that is something that you are up against right now, if you’re seeing scarcity mindset in yourself in any way, know that many times it’s passed on from generations and from maybe generations that really did have to live in scarcity. And maybe you’re not living that reality right now, but you’re noticing that thinking in yourself and oftentimes that’s where it comes from. That really ties into the second thing she said that I wanted, that I know is true for you as well. And she said, there are so many things that you’re carrying right now that aren’t yours that are on your shoulders, that aren’t yours, they’re from past generations.

Elyse (44:29):

And when she, that it was like, yeah, but when you hear that, because that is true for you as well. Um, hopefully that feels like a bit of a weight lifted because sometimes these things, these habits, these thought patterns where like, where does this come from? Like, I haven’t even had an experience in my life that I can think of that would, that would make me think or feel this way. But so often it’s your parents, it’s your parents’ parents. And there’s this funny meme, um, on, on Instagram that went around recently about generational healing. So I, I keep getting told by the coaches, I work with your call to degeneration or healing you are, if you’re here right now, you are very possibly called to do that work. But there’s this funny meme that’s like just found out that you’re the one called to do generational healing for your lineage.

Elyse (45:21):

And it’s this person looking off of this. It’s like, oh great. So yeah. Oh great. If you’re here to do the generational healing work, right. But if you are, I honor you because that’s part of why I’m here too. And so in our first session last week, um, this is going to sound crazy as probably a lot of this podcast does, but I know if you’re, if you’re here with me still, you’re here for it. We actually did a journey into my root chakra, into the root chakra. I know that sounds weird, but I’ll explain it. She put me into a trance and it I’ve worked with a lot of coaches. Now, a lot of healers, it was faster and more powerful than anything I’ve ever experienced before and went into a trance state and had me do a guided visualization, um, in journey to enter into my root chakra.

Elyse (46:11):

She was like, that’s where we’re going to start because there’s a lot of healing that needs to be done there. And if you have so root chakra is about security. It’s about safety. Um, if you have any issues with insecurity, whether financial, emotional, um, that’s, that means there’s work to be done there. And so we did this guided visualization and I saw myself as she just kind of walked me through it. I saw myself walking barefoot through dirt. I saw myself wearing and she asked, she just told me during the day she was like, look down at your feet while you walk and notice what notice what’s going on with your feet. And then she also said, notice what you’re wearing right now. And immediately, I just had this vision of a certain type of dress. I’ve never seen it before. I don’t own it, a blue light blue, one shoulder short dress.

Elyse (47:00):

And I was like, okay, that’s right. I didn’t say anything out loud to her about it. But I saw myself in that and we walked into the root chakra, which is like in the base of a tree and it was dark red. The way I saw it was dark red, but there it was black and it was shadowy. And when we got in there, she had me kind of look around and then she took me through a process of cleaning it out and there was a lot involved. But one of the things that she had me do is get she called it the universal recycling bin and start throwing out anything that doesn’t belong there, like cobwebs trash it. And a lot of that stuff, I couldn’t even really make out what it was, but it was just like dark, knotted, up materials, just stuff that was like very low vibe, very low energy.

Elyse (47:47):

So we put it into the universal recycling bin, which I know sounds kind of funny as I say it out loud, but it was, it felt very powerful in the moment. And then afterwards, she was like, we need to clean it out. And so she said, you know, look around and grab a broom, grab a mop. And then this part makes me laugh. She was like, actually, you should probably just get a hose. And I was at, and so cleaned it out. And I just saw myself hosing the whole thing down. And then she had me go in, in my mind and just redecorate it the way I wanted it to be a place of security and comfort. So I put in a, um, you know, I put in a yoga mat, I put in a meditation cushion, I’ve put in crystals, I put in a sofa, but there were, so it was a powerful experience and that’s just kind of high level of it.

Elyse (48:32):

There were two very cool things that happened during that. Um, and then I’m going to share with you a big takeaway. One. She saw what I saw and this is, this for me was very, nothing surprises me anymore, but it was powerful because later on she told me, and I didn’t say any of this out loud, what I was seeing, but she, she told me about the dress that I was wearing. And she told me that, that she saw me barefoot. And she told me about all these things that she was like, oh yeah, I was there with you. I saw it all. And I thought, gosh, there’s so much that we just don’t tap into in terms of our abilities, because we don’t think we can, or we don’t think it’s worth it. It’s really just probably cause we don’t think we can. Um, but that was, that was pretty profound for her to have seen all of those things with me.

Elyse (49:23):

It also made me think, all right, I really need to watch my thoughts around this woman. She sees, she knows, but then the whole following week, what was really powerful about doing this work and what is powerful about doing root chakra healing specifically is you will feel so at ease. And so at peace about everything going on. And this came during a time of a lot of stretching that I haven’t even talked about. And I’m going to talk about on the podcast today, but a lot of stretching, a lot of growing, a lot of up levels that I’m doing right now. And it just feels so chill about all of it. It’s like, yeah, this is happening. This is fine. It’s all going to be taken care of. And there’s no fear or concern or worry the way a Virgin of me several years ago would have been.

Elyse (50:10):

And so the takeaway from all of that, aside from maybe some fun stories for you about somebody named Randy and the root shot, Randy, and the root shocker is what we should call this podcast actually is I think about it. Um, oh, this is, we’re almost done. It’s taking as a, taking a turn, but again, hopefully you’re getting some laughter out of it. Um, number one, get the help you need in every area of your life. Like get the help you need, get mentoring and support in every area. Um, and don’t limit yourself by self-imposed, you know, small thinking, limitations, limiting beliefs around. I can only invest this much or I’m only worth that much. It was definitely a stretch for me to re up with my business coach at an even higher rate than I was paying her before, keep working with this wealth and financial coach and hire this shaman at the same time.

Elyse (51:04):

But there’s a powerful way. I would invite you to think about this because you are worth getting the help you need. And I heard about this model of thinking recently, which I love. And I think Kelly Roach is the one who originated it, but the decision making process, and it’s the way to make really powerful decisions. If you look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, most people make them from that base of the hierarchy, which is about food, water, security, safety. And if you’re making decisions based on that, you’re always going to stay stuck and you’re going to stay at the same level and you’re going to stay in scarcity and you’re not going to grow. So when you learn to start making decisions from the top of the pyramid, which is from that place of self-actualization, that’s how you grow. So the question isn’t, what can I afford the question?

Elyse (51:52):

Isn’t what’s the safest choice. The question is what will bring me to my highest level of self-actualization. What does the highest level of myself do? That’s how you grow. That’s how you grow because what’s holding you back from your next level. Isn’t what you think it is. It’s really not. And more likely than not. There is healing work, that’s needed, there’s belief system work that’s needed. Um, and a lot of the stuff that needs to be healed or rewired for you, again, like it’s not even yours necessarily, but guess what, if you don’t heal it and shift it, then you’ve got to live with it. And I’m here to tell you, you will, you will always expand to the size of the container that you allow yourself to fit in, or you only expand to the size of the container you allow yourself to be in is probably a better way to say it.

Elyse (52:41):

So see yourself as worthy and deserving of the container that you actually desire to be in and take that next action now towards it. Take that next action now towards it, whatever that is trusting that you’ll be guided. And I know this was a really long episode, but hopefully you’ve, you’ve taken some big ah-has from this about, you know, you’ll be guided and it may not be what you think it is, but it’s always going to be that or something better. And to really go for what you want and know that the end goal is not safety. The goal, the, the go from the top of the period, pyramid down, go for the, self-actualization go for the highest version of you and stop limiting yourself by trying to play it safe or play it small. That’s you’re never going to achieve what you want from that angle.

Elyse (53:33):


And from that perspective. So those that’s it for you today. So many things I would love, cause I know this was this w well, it felt like a lot for me while I was sharing it. But, you know, what was your biggest, aha? What was your biggest takeaway? Send me a DM. You know, I would love if you wanted to screenshot this and tag me on social and just share it, like share what your biggest takeaway was. Um, tag, a friend who you think, you know, is ready for some big uplevels or who you think would appreciate this message, because this is really about as a global, you know, community, us expanding together right now. And, um, you are called for more. Remember always, always, always remember what you want once you back. And it’s just on you to take that next step towards it and the claim claim it from that level of self-actualization. So, all right. My love that is it for now. Um, send me a DM with any way I can help support you again, tag and share on social and I will see you next week for our next episode of she sells radio so much. Love bye for now.elyse

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