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Honoring Your Desires

 

This is certainly a unique episode as I am recording this while travelling. That said, it is a special episode as well because the content is powerful. Today we are starting the discussion on honoring your desire. The fact that I’m travelling at all is a testament to why it is important. Oftentimes we let the voice in our head tell us we aren’t worthy of the things we want or our misunderstanding of how money works will cause us to avoid the things in our hearts. But that’s not how it works.

 

So let’s talk about the three things you need to know about your desires and how leaning into the unknown is exactly what you need to do to honor them. I am surely an example of decisions making absolutely no sense but I can also confidently say that because I’m following my desires and intuition, I am fulfilled and excited for what the future holds.

 

Show Notes:

[2:04] – Elyse is currently on the road and working with a client who is honoring her desires.

[3:56] – As you honor your desires, life gets better and better. But we are conditioned to believe that we aren’t worthy.

[5:02] – Oftentimes we let that voice in our heads tell us that we don’t deserve the things we want.

[6:24] – It is sad to know that there are women who know something is right for them but don’t understand the vibrational energy of money.

[8:27] – Scarcity mindset is caused by conditioning. Allowing in more is a discipline.

[9:54] – Incrementally allow things in for yourself.

[11:21] – The client Elyse is seeing has taken the leap to show that she is worthy of the things she wants.

[12:52] – Your desires will always lead you to something better.

[14:37] – Sometimes, your desires do not make logical sense.

[16:00] – You won’t see the way things will fully play out until you take action.

[16:21] – You can trust your desires.

[17:11] – Over time, we lose trust in our desires based on power and trauma.

[18:29] – Elyse admits that she didn’t trust herself just a few years ago and thought if she gave in to her desires, she would lose control.

[20:10] – Spending more money is not the point. Elyse shares how sometimes the thing you really want isn’t the glitzy glamorous thing.

[21:19] – Your desires will always make sense in reverse. Your brain thinks but your heart knows.

[22:30] – You typically won’t have the budget and will need to go out on a leap of faith.

[23:49] – Elyse shares one of her recent desires that doesn’t seem to make sense.

[25:24] – The money will come when you take action.

[26:54] – We can thrive when we lean into the unknown.

[27:27] – If Sedona is a desire of yours, trust that desire. It will make sense when you take action.

 

Links and Resources:

Instagram  |  LinkedIn  |  YouTube

She Sells with Elyse Archer Home Page

 

Register for the Sedona Retreat with Elyse

 

Elyse (00:02):

Well, hello and welcome to a very special episode of she sells radio. I am on the road today as I record this episode on honoring your desires. And so, you know, if the sound is not quite what it usually is, please bear with me because I think the content of this is going to be so, so, so, um, powerful for you as I, as a woman or man or whoever you are, who is listening to this, who is wanting to wanting to really learn to honor your desires. And this is going to be a little bit of a condensed episode of a little bit of a free flowing episode, too, because as I record this, I have a client who, part of why I’m on the road is I’m hosting a private client intensive in Asheville, North Carolina, which is one of my favorite parts of the world.

Elyse (00:54):

There’s just something about Asheville that like sets my soul on fire. And so my client is going to be here in about an hour, but I wanted to go ahead and get this recorded, um, partially too, because this whole experience of being here in Asheville to me is such a, such an example of, for me in my own life, honoring my desires and also for this client, who’s coming to work with me, her honoring her desires as well. And, um, you know, I’ll share a little bit, cause I want to talk with you today about three things that you need to know about your desires. And I’ll share a little bit of context, um, for this too, you know, the whole idea for this hosting this intensive. And it’s like, it’s so nice to be back on the road. And in-person with people, even though we’re obviously, you know, abiding by what we need to abide by to, uh, to make sure everyone feels comfortable, but just to be in person with people again, um, it really came about as a desire earlier this summer, where I was wanting to travel and wanting to get on the road, um, and wanting to create experiences where, you know, my family can travel and we could go do the things we want to do and make money, right.

Elyse (02:08):

And keep the, keep growing the business. And so there, I had this inspiration for hosting this private client intensive in Asheville and, um, put the word out to my network and to my clients. And I think it was booked and done within like a week. And it was just boom like that. And so, you know, now as I’m sitting here and, you know, in this beautiful space that we’re going to be hosting the intensive in, it’s been, we’ve been here for a couple of days previously, cause we just wanted to have some family time first and, um, went to a little farm yesterday where Jack got to see the pigs and the chickens and all of that. And it was, it was probably more for Jason and me than for Jack really. We really enjoyed seeing the pigs of the tickets, but we’ve had so much fun family time leading up into this.

Elyse (02:54):

And you know, it’s, it’s interesting because as you honor desires, you will find that it truly is possible for life to just keep getting better and better. It truly is. But we have this conditioning that that’s not possible and something has to go wrong and you know, we’re not worthy of it, yada, yada yada. And I even, it’s funny as we, as we checked into this room that we’re staying in, we got one of the biggest rooms here at the Grove park and where we’re staying because I’m hosting my client here too. As I checked into this room, I found, even though I’ve, I’ve learned to travel in a really elevated way and it’s, it’s beautiful and wonderful. And it’s not something I grew up with. But even as we checked into this particular room, cause it’s one of the, it’s one of the nicest ones here.

Elyse (03:45):

I found myself like a flash of light. Like at least you didn’t grow up like this. Right? And like, what was your, what was your family think? What would your parents think? And I had to stop to stop it in its tracks because that voice can still come up to make us wrong. And so often we, we let it make us wrong. So we don’t even pursue the desire. So I’ve learned to real, like I’ve learned how to follow my desires. I’ve learned that they always lead to something better. And that’s what I want to talk with you about today. Even with you do, sometimes there’s still that voice that comes up afterwards that asks, who are you to do this yada, yada. And I really want to help you shut that down today, whether that’s stopping you from going for what you want or whether you’re actually going for what you want.

Elyse (04:34):

But you’re noticing that that voice is still kind of coming up sometimes. And it happens, but we don’t have to give it any more airtime than it deserves. Right. And so I want to talk today about, um, about really deepening into honoring your desires and the other thing that inspired this is, you know, you’ve probably seen if you’ve been following me on social for a while, you’ve seen that we opened up, uh, tickets for our Sedona retreat coming up in December and it’s going to be so powerful. So incredible in so many women have already registered and said yes. And then I’ve had some private conversations with women or gotten emails from them that are like that are, I don’t want to say there’s I don’t let myself get in that vibration of sadness or like stay there for very long. But when I read them, it felt like it does make me sad to see some of the stories women are telling themselves about, I know I need to do this my hardest telling me I need to do this, but it’s going to be too much financial pressure. It’s going to be, you know, I’ll do it next time. Yada yada. And it’s like the, when you learn how money works, energetically money shows up once you’ve made a commitment to something. And that doesn’t mean saying I’ll do it when the money shows up, it’s like putting a deposit on something and saying it has to happen. I claim this for myself. Um, that’s how money works. And I’ve seen so many women say, I don’t, you know,

Speaker 2 (06:05):

Either, I don’t know where the money’s going to come from. So I’m going to have to say no for now or the other, the other piece that I’ve seen. And this is something that I talked about on our 10 K club group call this past week is even for women who were going and I’m, I’m just so excited because being in the energy of other people who are going for it and committed to just allowing in everything that you really want, more abundance, more prosperity, more sales, more joy, more happiness, more peace. All of it is going to be so empowering. And so it’s, my philosophy is like, get there however you need to get there and just be there. Like if you, if you need to stay somewhere else, you know, you do it. If you need to fly on the cheapest ticket, you can fly on you do it. But, but I also want to kind of push back on what I just said a bit. Cause I’ve had women register and be like, okay, I’m in. I can’t wait, but at least I’ve never, I’ve never stayed at a resort like that. Or when I travel, I usually buy the cheapest ticket or I stay in the cheapest room or I, you know, I,

Elyse (07:15):

I get the cheapest Airbnb or whatever. And that was my conditioning. That was how I was raised to always look for the cheapest option you possibly could. And that is, it’s such scarcity thinking and scarcity mindset that when you’re thinking that way about, about just something like this,

Speaker 2 (07:34):

Your travel, right? And you wonder why is more money not flowing in my life? Why are more sales not flowing in my life? That’s a huge piece of it is that you are living by scarcity conditioning and it’s not about making yourself wrong, but it’s about knowing what it is and calling it for what it is. And I’ve, I’ve, it’s a practice. It’s a discipline to allow in more and more in your life. And I had to kind of do it incrementally and start for me. It was, I think

Elyse (08:04):

The first thing was giving myself permission to take my first business class trip, even though no one in my family had, um, had really went, my dad flew that way for work, but his company always covered it. And so we didn’t really fly that way. Growing up. We didn’t like we flew coach. We did, you know, the, get the miles on the car, the Southwest card. And that’s how you travel. And I remember the first time I flew business class, it was like, the first thought was, who am I to do this? And then it was like, oh, how have I not been doing this forever and ever, and ever, and it becomes, it’s incremental. So it’s practice it’s practice. I think. And I, you know, as I’m saying this out loud, Alison Lambada on the podcast, I don’t remember what episode it was, but she talked about kind of like incrementally raising your standards for yourself and what you allow in,

Speaker 2 (08:55):

In your life. And that’s part of how she got to seven figures in her business. So I’m not saying you’ve got to like go from zero to 60 today, but I am saying when your heart wants something and desire something and you say, no, it’s not possible. No, it’s too much. No. Who am I to want this? I feel guilty for wanting this, yada yada um, you shut out so much possibility in your life. And that again, on this podcast, I aim to talk about the things beneath the surface that are limiting you in terms of making more sales, making more money, et cetera. And it’s, it’s this subliminal stuff that we don’t even realize is going on. And you know, for this client who I’m working with today, for example, you know, we, one of the things that she talked about going into this as like, you know, she grew up like many of us in an environment where it was like, rich people are greedy and you should feel guilty for wanting too much.

Speaker 2 (09:59):

And I’m sure you’re shaking your head right now. If you’ve heard that, or that’s been part of the conditioning, right? Like I heard that growing up too, not even from so much from my family, but from just like society, you know, you hear the messaging is everywhere. So we pick up on that. And one of the things that I appreciated most that she shared about saying yes to this intensive for herself, she was like, this is my declaration. That I’m worth it. And this is my declaration that I can take off time to create what I want and get the help and support I’m worthy of it. Cause you have to remember how things work when you’re creating in the quantum, when you’re creating, using metaphysics, when you’re creating the way, you know, we do here in the sheath cells, community, which is far more powerful and far faster than most of the world creates.

Speaker 2 (10:44):

You have to be a match for the thing you want before it can happen. So to be a match for the thing you want, you have to feel worthy of it. And so the worthiness piece is huge and it is everything. And, and it’s a practice. It’s a continual practice, um, that we have to implement in our lives because there’s nothing glorious. There’s nothing, you know, if you say, well, it’s, it’s greedy to want a lot of money. Well guess what? Living in scarcity and not having a lot of money, how in the world are you living out your impact? That way, if you can’t give to what you want to give to, if you can’t support other people the way you want to support them, that’s like, that’s the selfish thing. Like, I’m just going to call it like, it is not honoring your desires, not trusting those, those wants and needs that are placed on your heart, which are God given. That’s the selfish thing. Okay. So I just, I want to call it like it is today and call you to a higher level as well. And so I want to share with you three things to know, and I said, this was going to be a fast one. I always say that, but it actually has to be because I got to shut off, you know, not, not too far from here to, to go greet my client, but three things to know

Elyse (11:53):

About your desires. Number one, your desires will always lead you to something better for you and for everyone else involved, they will always lead you to something better. Okay. It’s how it works when you have that desire on your heart and you, and it’s not a, um, like I used to binge shop because I didn’t feel good about myself. So I had this, like, it was more of like a manic thing. If you can relate to that. Um, it’s, that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about when you’re, when you’ve done some of that inner work and you, um, you know, it’s like you have that, that deep heartfelt desire for something that just is calling to you. And it’s a knowing, um, it’s a knowing in your heart that this would, this is something you want. It’s something that calls to you that speaks to you.

Elyse (12:46):

And it, it will always lead to your expansion and that, of, um, that of other people, like you can trust it and it will always lead you to something better for you and other people. And I think about, you know, I shared on a, I think it was episode, gosh, 1 13, 1 14 of the podcast where I shared about how we recently picked up and moved, um, out of state, back to a city where my husband and I, you know, live for several years. Right. Actually, no, like a year before we moved down to Georgia and, um, you know, that we S we started really having a desire to move back to the city, um, really a year ago and just kind of allowed it to unfold as it did. And it came about that. It worked out, um, this summer to do it. But, you know, when I look at the growth that’s happened in that move for us now, it didn’t make logical sense.

Elyse (13:40):

And that’s actually one of the three things. They never make logical sense. It didn’t make logical sense to do it. It was about this, this we’re renting right now. Cause we’re only going to be here probably nine months, but it’s about three times what we were paying in our mortgage before. Um, it’s a smaller space. Um, we had to, you know, do all the things that come along with moving and kind of the upheaval of that, but the benefits that we have had in just, you know, less than a month that we’ve moved there have been huge. You know, I see myself, I see us in a different light. It’s like, yes, we are the people who can live in a space like this and enjoy like, we love the culture of the city. We love the food. Um, you know, we get to Uplevel in so many ways being there.

Elyse (14:31):

And even for our son, like, of course there’s this perfect, perfect little daycare, right. Really close to where we live, like 10 minutes from where we live, um, for, for him and he’s learning and growing so much since we’ve, since we’ve been there. And so you can see, but I didn’t know all that was going to happen along the way. Like I just knew, I felt so called for us to move there and live there even just for nine months and already the benefits are showing up of following that. And so you have to know the reason you have that desire on your heart. You’re never going to see the full way it’s going to play out when you act on it. Um, that will be revealed to you after you take action, but it will always lead to something better for you and for others.

Elyse (15:19):

Okay. Um, the second piece, like you can trust your desires. You can trust them. And as you, you know, as you practice this and practice, get it, this is part of why I do so much healing work with my clients at the beginning of our work together to help them get back in touch with their bodies. Because so often we’re disconnected from our bodies, whether it’s through trauma, through, um, it’s usually some sort of trauma, right. But for a lot of the women, I serve it’s sexual trauma. And that can actually really cut off your ability to create and to trust your desires and trust your body. And that’s, you know, that’s part of my backstory, um, or, you know, we have these, I actually talked about it on the podcast that came out last week with my, my Sean and Dr. Murray and Boonie.

Elyse (16:07):

Um, and she talks about, you know, we have these like micro injuries to our power over time, where even as a kid, um, we, you know, we want to do something and it’s inconvenient for our, and it’s not making parents wrong, but like, I get this now as a parent, right? Like Jack wants to throw a tantrum in the backseat while I’m trying to get him strapped up. And part of me really wants to just be like, dude, you’ve got to sit in your seat so we can go. But I’ve actually learned to sit there and let him, let it out and talk him through why it’s important that we start driving to really like honor his power and honor his feelings and where he is, because when we just continually are like, shut down, shut down, shut down. We learned to stop trusting ourselves.

Elyse (16:51):

And that’s actually in that solar plexus region of your body where your personal power lives. And so we learned to stop trusting our bodies over time. And so much of your journey as you step into healing and personal empowerment is about learning to trust your body again. Cause I 100% use my body to tell me now whether to move forward on something or whether to not. And if you have fear that you’re going to like, want everything and go on this crazy, like out of control bench. And that was my fear for so long. I remember this was even, I dunno, four or five years ago, not really understanding this and being afraid that I would be like out of control if I let too much into my life, because I’d been so out of sync with my body. And so out of sync with using it as, as a cue to like guide me to what I wanted, I’d never learned this stuff.

Elyse (17:44):

And so I had developed an eating disorder over the years and there was a lot of just like, there was a lot of out of control behaviors around my body. And so I remember thinking like, well, if I say yes to what I really want, will I just go on this big binge and be out of control, like buying everything, doing everything. And um, and that’s, that’s not true at all. It’s not true. And I’ll give you another example. Like the place that, um, the place we moved, the, you know, the rent is the rent. I said yes to the much higher rent. I said yes to, because it was like, I know in my body, I know my body. When I thought about living in this place, my heart expanded, it felt like, oh yes, this is it. And that’s how I knew to move forward on it.

Elyse (18:31):

There was the option with the unit that we moved into to also rent out there’s there’s one, two car garage at this place. Um, and they usually rent that out with this unit. And it was, it was like that. Or you could get just like an assigned parking space. So the garage was like just numbers because the garage is like 600 bucks a month to rent it out. And the assigned parking space was like 75 bucks a month. And I thought about it and it was like, do I really have a desire for the garage? And it wasn’t coming from a place of lack or like, you know, trying to scrimp on something I really wanted. But when I checked in with myself, I really didn’t have a true desire for this garage. It was like, I could take it or leave it. But to me, with that, it was like, okay, so that for me is a no, but the assigned parking space felt really good and it happened to be less.

Elyse (19:23):

And so I’m not saying that like everything all the time, when you start to follow your desires, that you’re going to like constantly be just like spending more and more and more and more and more, although you will continue to expand and up-level your financial frequency. So the amount you allow in will come in more, but your body will tell you and guide you. Is this a true desire? Does this feel expansive? When I think about it, even if I have no idea how the hell it’s going to happen, or is this this like myth? Is this like for me? Or does it feel like no, for me, and you can trust that it will always guide you. And I I’m perfectly happy with our assigned parking space. And instead of having this garage and somebody else is going to have the garage who really wants it and that’s going to be great for them, you know?

Elyse (20:07):

So you can learn to trust what your body’s telling you in terms of your desires. And then the third and final thing, your desires will never be logical. They will never be logical on the front end. They will always make sense in reverse. And here’s what I mean by that. Okay. You’ve probably heard your brain thinks, but your heart knows. So we have been conditioned to live in our brain all the time. But what you have to know is that your brain will lie to you. It will tell you, you want to know where your limiting beliefs live. They’re there. Okay? It will tell you, you want too much, this is going to fall apart. You’re not worthy, yada, yada. And the way, you know, it’s a lie when you’re, when your brain triggers. Those thoughts is that you feel bad in your body. You experience a negative emotion.

Elyse (20:59):

That’s your body’s way of telling you the thought you just had. Isn’t true for you. And this is so important. And so empowering. And I wished they like taught this when you were born, that we had this guidance system that could lead us to what we wanted. But I think you kind of just have to find the information at the right time. And if you’re listening right now, here you go. You’re finding the information at the right time, but your desires will never be logical. You’ll never have the budget for them. You’ll never have the money sitting around. And when I say you won’t have the budget for him, you’re usually not going to have just had the money sitting around for it. Okay? Cause your desires are always for your expansion and fuller expression. And they’re going to require you to call in more for yourself, more resources, more options, more opportunities.

Elyse (21:42):

So you’re, you’re going to be required to, to go out in a bit of faith, but they will make sense in reverse the story I told you about Durham. Right? There you go. Um, the story I told you at the beginning about like wanting to travel to Asheville and hosting this retreat and knowing like there’s one perfect client who needs this today right now. And then I put it out there and this one perfect client was like, oh my gosh, I’ve got family there. I want to map out my business plan and my structure for this new thing I’m launching. This is expansive for me. Let’s do it. And it’s like, it makes sense in reverse. Once you take the action on the thing and there’s another, um, there’s another desire that I shared about, I don’t even, I don’t think it’s still up, but I showed about on Instagram this weekend that like I’m taking action on right now, just as an example of this.

Elyse (22:33):

And it doesn’t make logical sense, but I totally trust it because it’s a desire that opens my heart and makes me excited and, um, and is calling me to expand to do it. And it feels funny even as I say it, but it is this desire to own a pottery barn edition Airstream. Now, if you asked me, you asked me at least, do you see yourself owning a travel trailer and RV at any point in your adult life a year ago? I would have been like, no, I do not. But Jason did. I started talking about this earlier this year. And we were just like, this sounds so fun to be able to go hit the road and take our family places and bring the dogs with us when we want to go places. And you know, I’m writing my book now. And so there’s going to be, at some point I trust there will be book, tour and gearing up for more speaking engagements next year.

Elyse (23:26):

And it was just like, this is a, everything about this feels so fun. Um, and it doesn’t make that much logical sense either. Like I can’t, I, I found myself at one point trying to justify, why do I want this thing? There was no real logic too, even though I just shared some, some things that came up as I was thinking about it, like, I don’t know fully yet why I want this thing. I, I, and I’m okay with that, but I know it’s something that when I think about it, it makes my heart open. I feel excited about it. And so we started taking action on it and we went out this weekend to a, an Airstream dealer and talk to this, the guy who, um, is selling there. And he was like, yeah, I mean, this edition, like, you’re probably not going to have it for a year, but you can put a deposit on it and you know, I’ll go ahead and order it for you.

Elyse (24:15):

And it was like, we kind of were like, okay, are we going to do this? And so we talked about it afterwards. We’re like, we’re going to do it because the money will, the money always comes when you take that action step towards it. And I also know that part of the why for having this, it’s going to keep being revealed as we go. But if the, why was nothing more that we have a lot of fun as a family and we create beautiful memories together. Like that’s the whole point of life. I don’t, you don’t need more justification. You don’t need to justify your desires. You can trust that if they’re on your heart, they’re going to be better for you and for someone else. But your desires will always be for more than where you are right now and what you have right now.

Elyse (24:58):

Um, and you’ll be called to step out in faith and lean on God, source spirit, your higher power to help you in the creation of them, because that’s part of how your desires work. You’re not meant to know the full, how you’re not meant to have the full resources for it yet, but you are required to take action on them and to take the first step. And you always have what you need to get started. It’s how it works. You will always, always, always have what you need to get started. And then when you take that action step, the rest will, the next step will be revealed. The ideas will come in for here’s how I’m going to create the money for the rest of it, or here’s who I need to reach out to next to for this partnership. Or, you know, just the next steps will be revealed, but you’re not going to get the full download upfront of how it’s meant to happen.

Elyse (25:41):

That’s not, that’s, that’s not how it works. And that’s also really, you know, as you listen to, like for us as women, we live in the unknown, we live in the mystery. That is the feminine. And if you’re a man and you’re listening to this, like you have feminine energy too. Okay. In that part of you is about leaning into the unknown. And that’s where, that’s where we can actually really thrive. Because when we feel like we have to know the full layout of how everything is meant to happen, we cut off possibility and we cut off miracles and synchronicities and the unexpected coming into our lives. So all you have to know is that you want something that it’s a desire that you can trust that, that the rest will be revealed after you take that next action. And that next step on it, my friend.

Elyse (26:25):

Okay. So I’ll leave you with this. If, if Sedona has been a desire of yours and you’ve been sitting on the sidelines and saying, I want to do this, my heart feels called. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, or I don’t know how it’s all going to come together. Trust the desire. It will revealed after you take action. And the whole event is about reclaiming your power, healing, your mind, body connection, so that you know how to trust your body, to give you the guidance that you need to create, what you want in your business, in your life. It’s about profound healing. And it’s also going to be mapping out your foot. Like you don’t need to know the how for what you want. That’s, that’s what the event is. I’m going to help you map out your full sales and business strategy for 2022 so that you have the blueprint going in to go and create the money and the sales and the life that you want.

Elyse (27:16):

So if you’re listening to this, as it comes out, we’ve got, I think about a week left until our early bird rate is gone. So it’s a thousand dollars off tickets through October 15th. And our room block is almost full. If it’s not fully full, by the time you’re listening to this, but at least archer.com/sedona, get yourself registered. I want to support you in stepping into your desires and no ones I’ll leave. You I’ll actually leave you with this. No, one’s going to come give you permission. No one will give you permission. It’s the only one who is holding you back from doing it as you right now, you’ve got to give yourself permission to have what you want to claim what you want. And there’s no perfect time. It’s now the, the only time you have is right now. So claim your desires know that you can trust them, go get registered for Sedona. If this is speaking to you and, um, I just love you and appreciate you and just know how much I see you and honor you and would love to spend time in person with you, helping you really step into that next level of your life and what you want to create. All right. Not so much love. And I will see you next week for our next episode of she sells radio bye for now.

 

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