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Pleasurable Prospecting


For today’s solo episode, we’re diving into one of my favorite topics: prospecting! This seems crazy, I know, because prospecting and lead generation are two very common pain points for business owners. We’ve been taught to push through and trained to only use our masculine energy to succeed. But I have found that leaning more into the magnetizing energy of the feminine is much more powerful and feels so much more aligned with who I am.


Listen on to this episode to learn outreach strategies that work and the most important things to remember when developing the right mindset for success. I share actionable steps you can take today and the tools you need to continue to grow in this area.


Show Notes:

[1:37] – How do we have more fun prospecting and sell more from the feminine?

[2:56] – Prospecting and lead generation are two common pain points in sales.

[4:06] – There is not just one way to do this. Lean in and do it in a way that aligns with you.

[5:58] – Elyse shares what she loves to do and how she leans into this for lead generation.

[7:10] – Take a look at where your ideal client is spending time.

[8:15] – Pitch to the people who will make this a win-win for the both of you.

[9:46] – There are different approaches you can take when reaching out through DMs.

[11:24] – The personal approach can reach the right people.

[13:17] – Take the time for quality outreach instead of bulk copy/paste.

[14:57] – Referrals are also very effective to your current clients and customers to spread the word to others who need what you’re selling.

[15:58] – Referral techniques do not need to be pushy. Just ask.

[18:02] – Think about all of this as magnetizing rather than forcing.

[19:11] – What things can you do to get yourself out there and magnetize people?

[21:09] – Focus more on who you are being rather than what you are doing.

[22:36] – When you are thinking separately from your goal, you are acting out of scarcity.

[24:02] – Elyse explains models of reality that prove how your energy works for you.

[26:07] – Be attached to what you are claiming for your life but you don’t get to decide who or how.

[27:20] – It is not our job to micromanage the process.

[29:24] – Reward yourself for activity rather than results.

[32:08] – Know your numbers and motivate yourself.

[34:34] – When it feels heavy, put it down. Pick it up when it feels lighter.

[36:49] – Even short breaks when things feel heavy can impact your energy.

[38:28] – The 50k Club is ready for application, so send Elyse a DM.

[39:12] – There will be a deep dive into prospecting through She Sells All Access.


Links and Resources:

Instagram  |  LinkedIn  |  YouTube

She Sells with Elyse Archer Home Page


Register for the Sedona Retreat with Elyse


Elyse (00:02):

Welcome to she sells radio. I got another solo episode coming for you today, and hopefully you’ve been enjoying more of these. I am, I am here for it. I’m enjoying them. And I got to just say, before we get into it, I know the topic of this episode sounds a little bit dirty. And in fact, as I, uh, as I record this, I’m like kind of laughing that this is what we titled it, but here’s the thing. It kind of, the topic kind of came up as a joke on a recent, um, she sells Alexis training, but it’s actually, I think a really fun way to look at prospecting, which is how do we do it with more pleasure, with more fun, with more enjoyment. And when we, you know, I try to preface everything I say with this, cause I know we have both men and women who listen to this, um, and we all have masculine and feminine energy.

Elyse (00:57):

All right. So let’s just get that out of the way. Okay. But as a woman, if you’re listening to this and you’re a woman, and when we talk about selling from the feminine, the feminine is all about the experience and how much enjoyment and pleasure you can get out of life. And I think we had this weird thing with prospecting where it’s like, it has to be hard or you got to just like, suck it up and do it. And I really like to look at it as a different way. I like to look at it in a totally different way. And I’m going to share with you what that way is on today’s episode. And you know, that, I feel like this particular conversation has come up a lot lately in the shoe sales community. When I have asked you and said like, what is, what are some of the biggest areas that feel like challenges right now for you, whether mindset or sales process.

Elyse (01:51):

And again, and again, and again, prospecting and lead generation is coming up and I’m hearing so many different challenges in this area, but I’d say two key ones, like one is if we bucketed it, how do I generate more leads? And then the other is how do I just get past the resistance of reaching out to people? So I’m going to give you some coaching today on both of those. Um, but this is, I think it’s a good little story to illustrate kind of how I think about all of this. Um, there was a woman, one of our 10 K club members who was on one of our recent group calls and she came on the call and she was kind of, you could just tell she was a little like down on herself because she’d been listening to a room on clubhouse where they were talking about how to grow your sales in your business and saying, you know, you gotta do it this one way and this is the way to get results.

Elyse (02:44):

And it felt, it just felt hard to her to do it that way. Like it wasn’t in alignment with how she’s naturally wired. Um, it felt heavy. And what we talked about on the call was like, that’s one to do it. That’s one way to do it. And there are so many other ways that she could also be generating leads and growing her business. And it was almost like this like breath of fresh air. She looked at other ways she could do it that were actually aligned with her strengths. And we talked about the fact that when you lean in and when you’ve got the freedom and flexibility to lean in and do it in a way that’s enjoyable to you and pleasurable to you, one, you drop the resistance around doing it until you’re going to get better results. And with everything we do, you know, as much as we can focus on letting it be fun and letting it be enjoyable and letting it be light, um, it’s, you’ll actually get way better results with that.

Elyse (03:46):

And again, I know so much of this goes counter what we’re taught in society. And I spent so many years like, oh, at least you just got to push through it and just grind it out and copy and paste the same message again and again, to different people and cross your fingers and pray that somebody responds. Are you like, is this what you’re doing right now? If, as I’m saying, this is this resonating with anybody, even when I was in corporate sales, it was, it was the same kind of thing. So, you know, I say all of this, like I know, you know, if you’re listening, you may be in corporate sales and there’s a set process that you got to follow for that. And if that’s the case, then I would invite you. When I talk about the mindset piece here, really lean into that.

Elyse (04:25):

And if you’re an entrepreneur or you’re doing something for your own business, like there’s a lot of different ways to generate leads. And we’re going to talk about those and I’d invite you, like listen to that as well as the mindset piece. So, um, so let’s get into it. So let’s talk about the tactical first. So one of the main questions I’ve been getting a lot right now from our community is just how do I generate more leads? I need more leads into my business, my sales pipeline, yada yada, I would look at number one again, there’s so many ways to do it, but what do you enjoy doing? Like, what do you actually enjoy doing? Because there are so many ways to do it. Um, I personally, I love talking. I actually don’t love talking. I should preface that. I love creating content. I love teaching.

Elyse (05:17):

I love this type of talking. I love podcasting. I love live streams. It just like it lights me up. I would do it all day long, forever, and ever, even if I didn’t get paid for it. And this for me is this is actually how I also generate the most leads for my business. And it is more of a long-term strategy. It’s not the only thing we do to generate leads. If we’ve got a launch going on or got something else, like I’m doing direct outreach, which we’ll talk about here, um, in the conversation as well. But I love this and it’s fun and it’s light and it’s pretty easy. And it’s one of the most consistent lead drivers for, you know, for my business. But there’s so many other ways you can do it. So one is like, look at who already has the attention of your ideal clients, where are they already spending time and go there, you know, make a list of, for my ideal clients, who are they following online?

Elyse (06:17):

Um, who are they watching on Instagram? What podcasts are they, um, what podcasts are they listening to? And by the way, if you’re looking for a mate, like the best podcast search engine out there to go source different podcasts, listen, notes is one of the best ones you can use. Um, you know, who’s like, what events are they attending, whether virtual or live and get yourself in front of those audiences, pitch yourself as a speaker. Um, do a joint live with somebody. And usually when you’re, you know, when you’re pitching like a joint live or a podcast interview, you really want to make it a win-win for the other person. So I’m for where I’m at in my business right now. Like I’m not going to go pitch Oprah. Okay. Not that I wouldn’t welcome that opportunity, but I I’m just being pragmatic. Like I need to get some more things going in my business before I’m going to go pitch at that level.

Elyse (07:08):

Um, but something I will like when it’s right, I will. Um, but so when you’re thinking about pitching, you’re typically going to be pitching to someone who it’s like, you can really make it a win-win for them as well as for you. So maybe you’ve got roughly the same audience size, um, maybe you’ve got, you know, something you can really offer in exchange for getting in front of their audience, but always, always, always make it, uh, make it a win-win right. So get in front of that audience. And that’s how in the personal branding company that, um, I helped start a couple years ago. That’s how we grew to multi seven figures in the first year was just getting in front of other people’s audiences. We don’t even have a website we’re supposed to be here and grew really fast because of that. So that’s a tremendous, like low hanging fruit way to do it with a lot of this.

Elyse (08:02):

I want you to think about low hanging fruit. Um, and then in terms of DMS, like I, you know, it’s always, I, I think I just, because I come from such a sales background and I’m so used to like sales outreach, that feels very natural for me. And then I find sometimes when I’m taking on clients and working with like, you know, maybe I’m doing a private intensive with someone and they’re, they’re all about like the funnel, like they’ve invested a lot in the funnel, but they’re maybe funnel and ads and it’s like, they’ve turned it on. But you know, it’s, this things can take a little while to get optimized and get really cranking. And they’re sitting there like, oh, you know, I don’t know if I’m going to hit my revenue goals this month or my sales goals this month. And it’s like, sister, brother, roll up your sleeves and send some DMS.

Elyse (08:48):

You know, you do what you gotta do. And there’s two approaches with DNS. You can take as well. And I’ve done a both. And the second one I’m going to teach feels better to me from both, uh, when I’m on the giving end, as well as the receiving end of these. But, you know, one is more volume driven and the other is more, I would say like quality and impact driven. Okay. So on the volume driven side, like know your numbers, this is part of where you get to really have ownership over your process and your numbers. How many reverse engineer, your sales process and know the steps and know what your conversion numbers are along the way, how many outreaches does it take to book a discovery call with someone and how many discovery calls do you need to do to close a client?

Elyse (09:33):

Like you need to know those numbers. And then how many initial outreaches does it do to get one discovery call? I think I already said that, but if I didn’t like reverse engineer it from the client closing all the way to that first point of contact and some of the stuff is like a little basic, but, and usually what I find is that my clients who come from more of that sales organization background, they know because often it’s like sales leadership. Who’s like, Hey, here are your numbers. But if you’re running your own business and you don’t know these things, you need to know them, my friends. So figure that out. And then just literally, again, this is the volume driven approach, but say, okay, so if I want to close X number of deals or clients this month, this is the number of outreaches I need to do.

Elyse (10:16):

And just time block and do them. Like we make this stuff so much more complicated than it needs to be. And then the other approach, which is more of the, I would say like quality, like higher touch, lower volume, um, is a more personal approach to DMS. And I, like I said, I’ve done both. Um, at this point in my, at this point with what we’re doing, it really is more like quality high touch. Like I’ll usually send DMS for something much higher level that we’re doing. Um, but, but this is about like really making it a customized thought out, um, outreach to that person and just take like five minutes. It doesn’t need to take a long time, but if you’re doing some colder outreach, five minutes to check on somebody’s Instagram feed and see like, what do they care about? What are they passionate about?

Elyse (11:09):

What have they been up to and personalize your message. And this is, it’s such a little thing, but it, oh my gosh, it makes such a big difference when you get that outreach, because who does that today? Right? He does that. Like almost no one takes the time to personalize it. So I think for the time investment, you can probably get better results by doing more of that high quality, lower volume approach than the opposite. And this is also part of leaning into more of your feminine energy when you’re selling, because the feminine is relational and that’s part of why it can feel really weird and unnatural to like just spray and pray, which is a lot of what you had that whole phrase is so well, but that’s a lot of what’s taught and it can work, but again, it doesn’t always feel good to us.

Elyse (11:57):

And it also is just like, can’t we, can we do something a little better from an outreach standpoint? Can we all just like collectively step up our game and not send the same LinkedIn invitation to a million people, pretending that it’s personalized? You know what I’m talking about? Maybe if, if you’re doing it, you know, no hate, but just check in. How does that feel to you when you do it and how does that feel to you when you receive it? So taking the time for quality, um, you know, and we’re, we’re doing this right now, we’re rolling out a new, uh, our next level of the 10 K club, which is the 50 K club, which I’m so excited for. It it’s application only. And you got to have had at least three, $10,000 months, um, to apply or at least one $20,000 a month.

Elyse (12:41):

And it’s, you know, for women who are wanting to get to that half a million dollar level, but we’re doing for the, we are going to open it up a bit on social for enrollment. Um, but for the women who I already know who I want to invite, we’re doing very personalized outreach to a very small group of women who I think would be a great fit for it. And it’s fine and it’s personal and it’s high quality and high touch. And so it’s just, you can do it both ways, but I always, always, always am a fan of how can you do things differently with your DMS, with your outreach, taking the time to make it personal is a huge piece of that. Um, sending a video email, if you have listened to some of my other sales training content, you know, I love BombBomb emails, sending just a voice message on LinkedIn or Instagram instead of copy and pasted message.

Elyse (13:32):

Like they take a little more time, but they’re, they’re personal and they’re worth it. And then think about, so we’ve talked about getting in front of who already has the attention of your audience, um, sending DMS, like if, if you don’t have a waiting list yet of clients like roll up your sleeves and send some DMS, you know, and just do it. And then with ref, like the third is referrals, you know, offer a referral fee. We offer a, um, a referral fee to anyone who refers a client who enrolls into 10 K club. Private coaching will do it for 50 K club two or for even, you know, speaking engagements for me. Um, and we had, we did some outreach recently for referrals from our current members, got one who was a $25,000 client. And she was like, oh, this is exactly what I’ve wanted and what I needed.

Elyse (14:23):

And I’ve been praying for this type of coaching. And it was like, it’s so easy. It gets to be so easy. And it gets to be a win-win because your best clients, no other amazing clients. And that referral, um, came from one of my very favorite clients. She referred someone she knew, and it was like, boom done. And so you can ask for referrals and make again, it’s like, it’s not pushy. Like I I’ve worked with corporations that teach very pushy referral ask techniques. And I do not like those. I am not a fan of them. They don’t feel good to you. They don’t feel good to the person on the other side. So I don’t think you have to do that, especially when you couple everything we’re talking about here with what I’m about to teach, which is more of the mindset keys. I don’t think you need to be pushy with any of this.

Elyse (15:13):

Um, and in fact, if you are being pushy, it’s because you don’t, it’s, it’s, that’s the thing that’s actually holding you back from achieving the results that you’re going for. Um, because you have that, like that pushy energy literally pushes away what you want. Okay. Um, but it’s just, it’s more of a, it’s just a soft ask. Like, Hey, I love working with you. We’re rolling out this new thing. If you have anyone you think would benefit from it, I’d be so honored. If you might want to connect us, I’m happy to put together some verbiage you can send for a mutual introduction to make it easy. And I’m also so happy to send you a blank amount referral fee for anyone who ends up becoming a client. It’s like that simple. Okay. It’s that simple. And you’re not to, like when we did that outreach, most people didn’t send names back immediately and that’s okay.

Elyse (16:04):

Right. Like people are busy. People have things going on, but you don’t take it personally. It’s like, you don’t this referral we received was like, boom. Brilliant, amazing. Right. So you don’t have to have, like, it’s about the ask. It’s about the outreach. It’s about like, just being open to what comes from that as well and not pushing and forcing people. Um, but send you referrals. Just ask. Okay. Just ask. I think that’s why a lot of times we have resistance. Cause we think we have to push everything. We have to like strong arm people and the things cause that’s a lot of what’s taught and that’s not, um, that is not how we do it here. And she sells world. We ask what you’re so grateful for anything that comes back. And then we, uh, if we don’t get the results we’re looking for from that one initiative, we think of another way to do it.

Elyse (16:54):

So it’s like, keep it simple. And then in terms of with all of this, like this is kind of the bridge into the mindset piece, which is, I want you to think with all of this about magnetizing rather than pushing or forcing. And this is really what I want, what I want to say with, with what I just said, which is, think about magnetizing. Um, and the feminine is about magnetizing. It’s about drawing in the masculine is about the push, the force, the, um, like the chase, the hunt. And that’s a lot of the language that’s used when it comes to prospecting. But I think especially as women that can make us that almost like puts us out of our power because your power is in magnetizing, it’s in polling, it’s in receiving. And so for me personally, that’s why I like to create content.

Elyse (17:46):

And I like to, because I feel like that is my way of sharing with the world and giving everything I can and generously, and then magnetizing and drawing clients in like people who are like, I love this. I want to go deeper in this with you. Um, so you can do that. You know, if you’re, if you don’t have a podcast yet, or you don’t do live streams yet, like think about doing that or think about how can you, you know, host a room on clubhouse or what can you do to be out there and be present and to magnetize and draw your people in. And a lot of that is about your energy and who you’re being too. So is your energy is who you’re being, the person your clients want to be like, that is so important. And even if you’re working for another company or an organization, and again, maybe there’s a set sales process, you’re following.

Elyse (18:35):

They’re still that person, that customer is deciding if they want to work with you. So who are you being? How can you be someone who other people want to work with at a high level? And that boils down to how you see yourself to the energy you carry. Are you in desperation mode? Are you? I know like when I felt like I was in a lot of scarcity and I didn’t feel worthy of what I wanted, I would like make deals with people that didn’t really benefit me. I would downgrade, I would like give away too much for free. And I had kind of like that place, oh my gosh, would you please buy energy? And it never worked like it never worked because people can see, they sniff that out. Even if you don’t say it out loud, they pick up on your energy and people don’t want that.

Elyse (19:26):

They want the, the concept of the impression of increase from the science of getting rich is that people will go where they’re given, what’s considered increase, which is more life, more money, more opportunities. And if you’re not being that already, then that’s going to turn people off. So this is why, and I’m going to shift it into here, the mindset piece of pleasurable prospecting, um, which is who are you being? That’s why that focus first on, who you’re being is critical and is usually left out of conversations around prospecting. So let’s talk about this three keys with, with mindset and with who you’re being. Number one, and this is what I do. I focus way more on who I’m being than on what I’m doing. Okay. I, I personally, and this is what I would invite you to do to every day I focus on acting like embodying the woman who already has that financial goal realized acting as her.

Elyse (20:28):

I focus on my energy and notice, like, I know that with that next level financial goal that I’m creating, I pay a lot of attention to how that feels. I know it feels like gratitude. I know it feels like expansion. I know it feels like an opening in my heart space. I know it feels like being limitless. And so I practice that every day and living in that state and even at the top of my, like my task management list for the day at the very top, it’s it says top priority is I use Abraham and Higgs language. It stay in the vortex, um, take a line to action. And I don’t do anything from outside of that place, if at all possible. So focusing on who are you being, and what’s your energy. And I, I focus on my thoughts, like, do I notice, oh, did I just have a thought that doesn’t match the type of thought I’ll have when I’m at this financial goal?

Elyse (21:28):

Because when you do that again, that separation, that’s actually an indication that you feel separation from your goal. And when you feel separation from your goal, you’re acting out of that place of not having it, chasing it, feeling like you got to go after it and push for it. And when we do that again, literally the energy, the message you’re communicating to God, the universe, whatever your language is is I don’t have this. I don’t have this. I don’t have this. I hope this is making sense. And so we want to, the way that we match being the person who has what we want is by making sure our thoughts are in alignment. With the reality we’re looking to create, and then mirroring the feelings that you’re, that you’re going to create. And a lot of this is really doing this from a place of relaxation.

Elyse (22:18):

Because when you do this properly, you will, before you ever get the physical outcome of increased sales results, you will find that you feel better. You feel relaxed because you feel like your reality is already here. And so this is where we want it. We tap into science and physics. And the Newtonian model of reality is that you, everything outside of you, everything is outside of you. And so you’re basically at effect of what’s outside of you. So if you don’t have this reality yet, you can’t feel good, but the quantum model of reality flips it on its head. And this is how I’ve created quantum leaps in my life. This is how my clients are creating. Quantum leaps is it’s no, you cause and effect by who you’re being. So you must be at first and who you are being ripples out and emanates that it literally shifts your reality.

Elyse (23:14):

Okay? So when we’re in that state of relaxation with all of this, because you’re already living that reality in your mind, in your heart, even though it hasn’t happened yet in your physical world, you, you, you relax, you relax a lot and you, when you do this and when you understand how this stuff works, and this is why with my clients and in the content we teach her like so much of the focus is on studying science and studying quantum physics and studying spiritual laws and universal laws. Because when you do, then, you know, you can know that you’re going to hit your goals. You know it, like I know it right now. I’ve got a next level of financial goal written on my goal card. Hasn’t happened in my physical reality yet, but I’m living it every day in my head. And I know it’s only a matter of time until it happens.

Elyse (24:06):

So I’m not, I’m not gripping, like when I’m doing my prospecting, oh, this person has to buy or, you know, or else it’s like, no, like I’m so excited because I know this is happening. And I’m excited to see how it happens. And I don’t know exactly how it’s going to happen, because if I did, I would have already done it. Um, but I’m, I’m open and I’m excited and relaxed. And so the activity, the prospecting activity, cause I’m in it with you. Like I do prospecting activity every week to, um, that activity is it’s done from a relaxed, like, excited energy, which is contagious. People want that, that’s the impression of increase and it’s, I don’t do it for some sort of manipulation. I do it because I want to feel good. I do it because beyond anything else, I care about feeling good because I know when I do everything else in my life shifts to match that to mirror back to me, more things I can feel good about.

Elyse (25:04):

And it’s the same for you. And so the, the mindset here is you, again, you’d be a T you can be attached to what, like, this is what I want. This is what I’m claiming for my life, but not who and not how. Okay. So you don’t get to decide who your clients are. You don’t get to grip and say, this person has to be my client. And this even happened. It’s perfect example. I shared the referral that I received a couple of weeks ago from one of my existing clients and this other person went on to become a private client. And, um, there was somebody else who I’d been talking to that. I was like, this is a done deal. Like it’s a great fit for him to be a client for me. And it’s like, it was, uh, it was like right at the point of where he would sign and he kind of, he just fell off the map, but I didn’t freak out about it.

Elyse (25:54):

Cause I know how this stuff works. It’s like, cool. I followed up with him one more time. Hey, I’m, I’m here. If you need anything and let me know. And um, and then this other, like a week later, this new client comes in, that’s actually such a perfect, incredible fit. And we’re in now on a waitlist for private clients. And if the sky, you know, wants to circle back and work together, that’s fine. And if not, that’s okay too. Like it’s really, um, it’s not our job to micromanage the process. I hope that makes sense to you. Cause we, when we’re in scarcity mode, we get, um, we, I know I used to get so grippy. Like this person has to be my client in order to pay my bills this month. And that’s not, um, when you come at it from that standpoint, it’s like, literally you, you create more scarcity because you’re putting out that vibration, that energy of scarcity and the world.

Elyse (26:46):

And, and with this particular instance, if I had gone into scarcity mindset around this particular person becoming my client, like it’s highly unlikely this other client would have come in. It’s highly unlikely. But when you decide that you are the person who has the reality that you’re creating and that you do, like you already are living that financial goal internally, then the prospecting becomes fun because it’s like, well, I feel inspired to reach out to this person. And this is literally how I do it now. Like I feel inspired to reach out to this person. Um, I, I want to work with them more. I want to work with them more deeply and let’s just see, like, let’s just see what one of my other clients, if she’s listening to this, she’s gonna laugh. She’ll she’ll know what I’m talking about. I had a dream the other night that someone, um, upgraded to a VIP ticket for our Sedona retreat. And literally the next day I messaged this woman and was like, Hey, this is kind of weird and not like some weird sales technique, but I had a dream that you wanted to do VIP and Sedona.

Elyse (27:50):

Am I on the right track with that or not? And she was like, let me, let me think about it. I’ll get back to so, so I don’t know if she’s going to do VIP and Sedona. I don’t really care, but it’s, it’s like that. Like we get to be relaxed and playful with it and fun about it. And then you’ll get way better results when you do that. The second mindset piece, and this, it ties in with tactical, but it’s, to me, it’s like, how do we get your mindset in the mode of having fun while you do this setting rewards for yourself based on activity and not results. And this is a little hack I used to do for years and years and years and years when I was in corporate sales. And, um, when, especially when it was like, follow this process, make this number of calls and do this set activity to achieve your goals.

Elyse (28:37):

And, uh, I had to figure out a way to feel good about that and feel excited about that. Cause I felt a little bit like I was on a hamster wheel. A lot of times activity is reverse engineer to figure out how much money do you make from every initial outreach. So again, this is where you got to know your numbers and you look at, um, okay, for me to enroll or sign one client. What’s the sales process that leads up to that. And then based upon just my average numbers, how much money do I make every time I, and then insert the first step of your outbound prospecting process. Every time I send a DM, every time I, if you do, if you’re making calls every time I pick up the phone, every time I go on a podcast, I was doing a private client intensive a little while back with a woman who was like, ah, you know, I’ve, I’ve done some podcast interviews, but I don’t really know how much I’ve gotten out of them.

Elyse (29:29):

And we, we reversed it. And we saw that every time she went on a podcast, she made it’s either like, I think it was $500 every time she did a podcast interview. And we were like, if you knew, every time you went on an interview, you were going to make 500 bucks. Would that feel worth it to you? And she was like, yeah, it does. So make it really simple, like know your numbers. I did this with another client who’s in corporate sales, um, where they, they do cold calling and she was not feeling great about cold calling. And I get it. Like, I, that was never my favorite way to do it, but sometimes that’s the process that a company uses. And so we reversed it and it was like every time she literally picks up the phone, whether somebody answers or not, uh, whether they hang up on her or not, she made like $20.

Elyse (30:18):

And it’s like, okay, if you can break it down and say, every time I pick up the phone, I make $20. You’re going to be a little motivated, just make those calls. And she’s got a sticky note. I told her, get a sticky note on your computer. Like have that thing, have that baby in front of you so that you can, um, you know, so it’s like you get motivated to pick up the phone and do it. And then you can also incentivize with fun, you know, fun rewards, like do what, do what you can financially here. So I’m not saying that if you’re in a place where you truly need more clients right now to like pay your rent or pay the mortgage, that you’re going to go like buy a pair of Jimmy Choos after you make a hundred calls. Okay. That’s not, that’s not what I’m talking about here.

Elyse (31:00):

Um, but what would, what would be a reward for you putting in the activity? So number one, know what your numbers are and know how much money you make. Every time you initiate a conversation with somebody and then what would be a fun, incentive and reward. And maybe it’s something bigger if that works for you financially. Maybe it’s not, I’ll give you a really silly example where we moved. There’s this, um, this amazing bakery right down the street from us. And I’m like, I’m not a big like sweets muffins person, but I tell you what I walked in there a couple of weeks ago and they were making pumpkin muffins and it smelled, so, I mean, think about the smell like fall, right? Pumpkin spice, it smelled so good. I think they just been made, I saw these muffins and I had set a goal for myself to do 50 prospecting outreaches for a certain, um, for a certain program.

Elyse (31:59):

And I was like, you know what, when I do those outreaches, I’m going to come back and get that muffin. Now I know it sounds like a small little thing I could have just bought them off in the moment. Okay. But I wanted to have something fun to look forward to as a reward of these outreaches. And in full disclosure, I haven’t finished them yet because we’ve been launching some other programs and doing, and it’s like, we’ve had some stuff come in unexpectedly where I hit the financial goals that I was hoping to hit with that outreach. So, so that happened, but I’m still holding myself to the standard of like, no, I said, I’m going to do these outreaches to this, these people. And it’s more just fun now. Like I’m going to enjoy the heck out of that muffin when I have it, because it represents this can, you can use the word effort because again, what we teachers it’s like, it’s not about the efforting action, but it, it represents this achievement.

Elyse (32:55):

You know that I did this. And so as I’m doing, I’ve got a little tracker on my desk now. And just when I, when I have time, I do some outreaches and we’re, we’re close to getting the muffin again. It sounds silly. I know, but it can be little stuff like that. That’s just like fun for you. So you can incentivize and reward yourself with all of this. Maybe it’s taking a walk, maybe it’s, um, I don’t know what it is. Pick something for you, but what would feel good and make that your reward. And then this is the third and final mindset piece for you. And this is, you had shout out to my dear friend, Alison Chavez, who was the first one I heard this from. And I thought, gosh, this is brilliant. When it feels heavy, put it down. And when it feels like, pick it back up then, okay.

Elyse (33:42):

So when things start to feel heavy and you know what I’m talking about, like, you’re like, oh my, if I have to send one more message right now, I’m going to lose it. And like, literally you’re like, I can’t, I’ve, I’ve had days like that where you’ve done so much talking or a DME or, um, sales calls where it’s like, you can’t even put your words together straight and you’re like, I am done. Or you just feel this heavy energy in your body. Or you notice that old doubts and fears are starting to pop up and that’s actually energetically weighing you down. You’re not going to get great results. If you push through those things. Now this is not. And I want to be very clear. And I think for this audience, like most of my audience and the women who I really serve powerfully are ones who like, they’ve pushed through it for so long that they don’t know anything else.

Elyse (34:39):

So this is not, if you’re listening and you’re like, oh, let’s just throw in the towel. I don’t do anything. This is, this is not what I mean by this at all. Um, that’s not what I mean by this at all. But here’s what it means is knowing that you create the most powerfully when you’re already feeling in alignment with being the person who has your financial goal realized, and you’re coming at it from that relaxed, easy, fun energy. And that’s when it feels light. So as you’re doing your outreach and you’re doing your prospecting, if this starts to feel like heavy, that’s a good time to put it down. I’m not saying forever. It can be literally you step up and you walk around outside for five minutes and you come back in and you get started again. I did that this afternoon. I was prepping some content for something.

Elyse (35:33):

And it was like, I just could tell anything else I did after that was going to feel like a push and a force. And I was like, no, I’m going to come back in and I’m going to go outside. I’m going to take a walk. I walked the dogs for like, I don’t know, 10. It was maybe 10 minutes came back, felt so refreshed. I could feel my brain firing, triggering a new, more creative ways again. And then everything else I did after that was amplified so much was so much easier. And so that’s what I mean here is set it down and then do something that helps you recalibrate get back into that peak energetic state and then come back and pick it back up. And this is part of how we bend time and space, which is a lot of what we do here in the, she sells community.

Elyse (36:15):

When you’re coming at your prospecting activity, from that heavy energy, it just kind of makes logical sense that it’s going to be a long dragged out process. And you’re going to get, because you’re low, lower, your energy is lower. You’re going to get lower level results. But if you came at it from that light, that fun, that excited, that eager energy, you’re going to get results that match that, right. And you’re going to get them way faster. So focus on who you’re being first focus on that. Focus on maintaining that light, fun, easy energy about it, set some rewards and some incentives for yourself based on what you’re doing and focus on fun and pleasure. And I like try this if you’ve been doing it the other way. Ooh, I think you’re going to notice that it’s way more effective this way. So try this, send me a DM, let me know what your results are and let me know how things shift for you.

Elyse (37:08):

Um, because this really is like, this is a game changer. It really is. And if you felt like prospecting is hard and like, you don’t know how to get leads, I, I hope, and I think this episode will hopefully shift a lot of that for you. And so just in closing, as we wrap this up, I’ll say two things. One, you heard me talk in this episode about the 50 K club, which is by the time this episode comes out probably going to be ready for application. So send me a DM. If you’re a woman who is ready to scale to that level, to mid six figures, half a million or beyond, um, it’s an intimate six month, very high touch, high level mastermind with me and my mentors and coaches as well, um, to help you scale to that level. And, uh, yeah, send me, uh, send me a DM again, you need to have had at least three, $10,000 sales or revenue months to qualify to apply, or you need to have had at least one $20,000 a month.

Elyse (38:03):

Um, and then the other thing is if you’re not there yet, and that’s totally fine too, and you want to get access to more content like this, um, she sells all access. We’re actually going to be doing a deeper dive training into prospecting in a, I think it’s going to be in November if you’re listening to this in real time. And that’s my really super affordable monthly membership. And that’s a great place to start if you’re, you know, if you’re earlier on in your journey and kind of just getting started out and you can find out about that at least, but, um, you’ll get a deeper dive. You get deep dives into all parts of the sales process mindset, work with me there, and you’ll also get access to live coaching from me to help you map out your specific process around sales or prospecting or closing or mindset on our monthly calls.

Elyse (38:51):


So, um, at least for that. So, all right, my love, I’m going to go ahead and wrap with that. I hope you enjoyed this. I’d be so honored if you wanted to share it on social and just, you know, help spread the word about a different and more fun and more, uh, more aligned approach to sales and to prospecting for your friends, for your colleagues, et cetera. So I’m always so flattered when you share and grateful when you share thank you and join me next week for our next episode of she sells radio so much love to you and bye for now.

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