3 Big Ah-Ha’s from Our Sedona Retreat
After spending time together at the Sedona Retreat, members of the She Sells community are returning to their lives to finish the year off strong. We are ready to achieve our vision, but we shouldn’t forget to prioritize ourselves. What do you require to feel your best? What do you need to feel well taken care of and supported?
Today I’ll be discussing three big ah-ha’s inspired by the Sedona Retreat and the She Sells community. These are lessons that you can implement in your life to align with your vision and still feel nurtured. Your vision and desire is there since it is meant for you. I’ll talk to you through the three lessons on how to embody your vision, and I’ll give actionable tips on how you can incorporate the three lessons in your life today. Prioritize yourself as you prepare to make the most of the days coming your way.
[02:11] – Elyse recalls her feelings of seeing her vision for She Sells Radio come to life.
[04:11] – Elyse shares three big lessons she took away from hosting the event. Lesson 1: Schedule space ahead of time.
[06:23] – Schedule any moment that will give you relaxation or joy.
[08:31] – Elyse emphasizes the importance of scheduling self-care.
[09:54] – Balance how you are showing up in your masculine and feminine energy.
[11:16] – What does it look like to schedule life 90 days ahead?
[14:02] – Elyse shares three big lessons she took away from hosting the event. Lesson 2: The power of shifting into a new perspective.
[16:27] – What are you tolerating in your life that you no longer want to tolerate?
[18:36] – Do this to remind yourself of who you are.
[21:02] – Elyse shares three big lessons she took away from hosting the event. Lesson 3: Stay open and available to the magic in your life.
[24:02] – Elyse encourages everyone to look for the magic. Why does this work?
[25:39] – Here’s a routine to help you recognize the synchronicities in the life you’re creating.
[27:16] – Elyse briefly recaps the three big lessons that you can implement in your life.
Links and Resources:
Elyse Archer (00:02):
Welcome to she sells radio. I am. I’m just so excited and kind of like blist out right now as I record this for you. Uh, this is coming to you just a couple days after I got home from hosting our first ever she sells live retreat and the word that I keep feeling and that I keep hearing from the women on social media who attended, uh, is just magic. I mean, it was, it was just magic in so many ways. And I had a couple of really big ahas and kind of breakthrough moments from that event that I’m hearing echoed by the women who attended. I just got off leading our 10 K club group call. And a lot of the women in that program were at the event and they were sharing some of their biggest shifts in the past week. And so I wanted to share with you three big things that I felt like were major shifts for me as a result of being there, leading the event, et cetera, that you can take and apply to your own to your own life as well.
Elyse Archer (01:05):
And one thing it’s kind of just a bonus and I, I, I feel like I’m almost just geeking out on this, but, uh, I think you could probably relate. So when I was walking around the resort where we had it, we had it at this beautiful resort called enchantment out in, uh, and it was funny to see how it came together as well, because that resort was gonna be where we went for our baby moon, which is gonna be in April of 2020. And as you can probably guess, there was no travel going on at that time. And so we ended up canceling the trip, but I knew that I was meant to go there. I knew I was meant to be there and the, she sells brand hadn’t even really launched yet at that point, but it was so cool to be there and walk around the resort.
Elyse Archer (01:49):
And again, this sounds like such a geeky moment, but I think you can probably relate C signs up all around the resort for the she sells event, uh, whether it was the ballroom for our daytime meetings, whether it was at room for a morning dance class, we held or another room for a V P dinner. And just to see that vision come to reality was so cool. So that’s not actually one of my ahas for you, but I wanna just maybe encourage you with that. Because this time, last year we had just barely launched the brand and it was something that I had on my heart for quite some time to do had been under a non-compete for a while. So I wasn’t able to do it. And it had really just been percolating in the background of my life for a while, but being able to finally launch it and then see it come to fruition in that way.
Elyse Archer (02:45):
It’s just, it’s just such a good reminder that your vision and your desire is there because it’s meant for you. And you can trust that and you can take action on that, knowing that it always, always, always is a double blessing for you and for somebody else or somebody else’s <laugh>. So I just wanted to share that because I was, I was kind of geeking out on, um, seeing those signs and just thinking, gosh, like our vision really does get to become reality when we, when we take bold action towards it. So, all right, with that though, three big things that I took away that I want you to notice, oh, which one, or which ones do I wanna incorporate in my life as we go into the new year, the first one is how important space is the importance of space. It didn’t even Dawn on me until I got back, but I was not zoom calls for a week.
Elyse Archer (03:41):
I literally had no zoom calls for a week. I don’t know, the last time in my own life that has been the case or check in, in your life too. When is the last time you were not on calls or client meetings or zoomed out all day long and it was just, it didn’t even feel odd at the time. I think maybe cuz I was just so focused on leading and facilitating the event, but it dawned on me afterwards. And I thought, I don’t know when the last time is that I had this much of a break from technology cuz we were just so all in, in person with each other every day. And so I really felt inspired to look at how can I incorporate more of that space in my life. And I actually gave some tips for the women at the retreat, but it was such a difference in energy not doing that all the time.
Elyse Archer (04:30):
<laugh> cuz there was actually space for new ideas and there was space for downloads and there was space for different perspective, which I’m gonna speak to in a minute, but we don’t have that if we’re constantly in meeting, after meeting, after meeting. So one of the things that I’m really committed to going into next year and that I would invite you to do similarly is scheduling space ahead of time, scheduling in space ahead of time. And that can look like a lot of different things. But the, it is to know that if you don’t schedule ahead of time, something else is gonna get scheduled in for you. It always does. I mean, I work with clients in corporate. I work with clients who are entrepreneurs and one of the biggest pain points can be, I feel like my calendar gets so full, so fast. How do I, how do I create better boundaries around this?
Elyse Archer (05:24):
And really it’s very tactical that you’ve gotta block it ahead of time. And so whenever you’re listening to this, do this, but if you’re listening to this at the, the, you know, in December as I record it, go ahead and schedule some really important things in one is gonna be your vacation time. So I want you to decide right now how much vacation time do you wanna have next year and schedule that in now for us, I decided I want two weeks that are, we’ve been traveling and tying it with work in business, which is great. But I want two weeks that are really just about family and that don’t have anything to do with work or me hosting an intensive so that I just have full ah, full relaxation energy. So I’m scheduling that in now, uh, scheduling in dates, you know, for, for me and for my husband, Jason, with a toddler at home right now we’ve, we’ve really gotten fierce about doing weekly dates together, which is great.
Elyse Archer (06:23):
And I’m so grateful because I know that not everyone it’s, it’s not easy for every, everyone has a different situation, right? So that is what it is, but we schedule weekly dates, but we still are always either traveling, which Jack or home with Jack. And so we’re scheduling quarterly overnights together. So if you have a partner and you wanna really prioritize time with them, what would it look like to schedule maybe a quarterly overnight with them? If your kids are still like your, I mean really hands on and raising them. Uh, one of the things I’ve had my clients do for you when they have kids who are a little bit older is also schedule dates with their kids. And this is something I it’s funny, the brandish she sells, but I coach a lot of men behind the scenes and this is something my dads in particular seem to really just love and benefit from is scheduling in maybe a once a month date with your kid and do, if you’ve got more multiples, do maybe you do, everyone gets one night in the month or you alternate months and you’re doing one date night a month with one kid and you just rotate months and kids, but it’s so nice to have that scheduled ahead of time so that, so that it’s prioritized scheduling in two self care and this is especially so important for my women.
Elyse Archer (07:41):
And this is something I was so glad I did for this particular event, cuz I, I haven’t always done this in the past and I haven’t always prioritized this, but on the front end and the back end of the event, scheduling in body treatment, scheduling in massages. And then also as I, I went into just planning for next year looking at, okay, how do I need to just preschedule nail appointments, hair appointments. How do I feel about my self-care this year? Do I desire more? And I felt a desire for more because some of that stuff has gotten prioritized. Some of it hasn’t as much, we moved to a new city. And so I haven’t found a great local missus yet. Haven’t found a great local facialist yet. So some of those things slipped by the wayside for the past few months and I started to really feel it and notice it.
Elyse Archer (08:26):
And it was just like, okay, this is critical. This is so important to schedule in that time for self care ahead of time. And just looking at what else do you require? Not, not what not just thinking about like what do I want, what do you require to feel your best and to be well taken care of and well supported because for people like us, when we’re really upleveling and we’re showing up and we’re supporting our clients and our families, many of us in big ways, we get to require next level support on our end as well. So looking at what does that look like for you? And if you are, if you’re a woman, if you’re a mom, if you’re also running a business, you’re coaching, you’re facilitating, you’re doing some sort of service work. Then all of that energy, you’re actually in your masculine that whole time, even being a mom, you’re in your masculine because you’re giving masculine is about giving it’s about providing.
Elyse Archer (09:24):
So we have to look at the balance of energy and say, oh my gosh, how much am I in my day in my masculine energy? And it’s not that we don’t wanna live there. Sometimes we do that’s. But if you’re all there and lopsided, which is easy to be in today’s world, we have to prioritize pleasure. We have to prioritize receiving, which can look like a lot of different ways. But one of the things I really encourage you to look at is your self-care routine and scheduling that in ahead of time for my men out, the, this is something I coached my men on too, is what do you require to feel like you’re at your a game? And do you need to schedule more time at the gym? Do you need to schedule away trips like with the guys, what do you need to go ahead?
Elyse Archer (10:08):
And preschedule so that you have better boundaries and your energy isn’t being diffused and extended every which way, which totally depletes your power. And then also looking at scheduling and planning time. So one of the things that I’m currently, I’m not perfect with this yet, but we’re getting there and it feels really good is to be 90 days ahead at all times for gifts, for planning events, for planning, both from a business and a personal standpoint. So looking at okay, like end of right now, it’s end of Q4. So now this is not the case right now because Christmas <laugh> and it’s just been a lot, but this is something I’m really intending for next year. And then I’m actively working towards is being 90 days ahead. So in an ideal world, I have Q1 of all gifts of all family events mapped out and planned out right now.
Elyse Archer (11:02):
I’ve got some of that already underway and it feels good to be so far ahead and not be, I don’t know why this phrase is coming up right now, but like a last minute Nellie, which is how I lived my life for so long where you’re scrambling and it’s kind of like, you just act like the birthday’s to come act like the holiday isn’t gonna come. And then last minute you’re like, crap, what can I get in enough time to ship it out to this person? And I really think taking a, just creating the space now to say, I’m gonna be 90 days ahead for gifts, for planning purposes, for all of it and scheduling in time in your calendar to do that ahead of time is really gonna help you relax, be at higher vibration and be able to just enjoy, enjoy what enjoy the moment so that you’re not scrambling to try to find a gift for someone when the holiday or birthday is happening in a few days.
Elyse Archer (11:56):
And then from a business standpoint too, obviously scheduling and planning time for that. And I scheduled on my calendar for next year. Um, just quarterly intensives with myself, quarterly getaways with myself to look at, look at and map out what’s the revenue, uh, goal for next quarter. And what’s the, what’s the enrollment strategy gonna be for that? And what’s the marketing and what’s the team building gonna be. And what do I wanna do more of? What do I wanna do less of and just mapping that out and then making them fun and pleasurable. So I’m still picking locations for all of mine, but I’m looking at really high vibe hotels, maybe incorporating some spa treatment with it as well, just because it’s so true when you create space. And when you take better care of yourself, the ideas you have, the downloads you have are so they’re just so much higher. <laugh>, there’s so much better. So really looking at how can you create more space in your life for next year and scheduling it that in now and blocking that like your life depends on it. All right. So that’s your first, I’m gonna take a quick sip of coffee and then I’m gonna get into the second one, which is really good and really juicy.
Elyse Archer (13:09):
So the second big shift, big aha for me, this one already knew, but I experienced it in a different way in Sedona. And I think the women who were there did too, is the power of shifting into a new perspective. And I I’ll share an example. I’ve had a revenue goal that’s I kind of been dancing around for a while. That’s felt I know because I desire it because I can, it, that it’s meant for me and I know I’ll do it, but I wasn’t really clear on the how of it cuz it felt pretty big. And when I was there, I just had this, I just had this realization of how it was gonna happen. And I suddenly saw it and I saw that there had been people and mirrors in my life back to me of the how of how it’s meant to happen.
Elyse Archer (13:59):
And it was like, oh my gosh, why did I not see this sooner? And I think in my mind I had made them special and said, they can do it that way, but I’m not that talented, not that successful, whatever. And then it was literally just this, oh my gosh. At least remember what you take, which is that if you can see it in someone else, it’s meant for you, if you spot it, you got it. And so that different perspective that I think came from the space. So again, the space is the caveat to all of this here was so powerful to see the how, and along with that, I also so became so aware of low level thinking and some of these thought patterns that had just been on repeat in my mind for so long of even it’s it’s like stuff can shift in the way I think is so different now from how I used to think.
Elyse Archer (14:55):
But there can still be those old thought patterns that are kind of just disguised in better looking clothes that still show up for us sometimes. And I had had that still showing up just as I reached a new level, I’d had still some of the second guessing and like, you know, money questions and all of it. And it’s like, oh my gosh. When I had that download of that much bigger vision, the aha was the woman who’s there. This stuff does not even cross her mind. It, she’s not even spending one IOT of time thinking about these things. And that’s something we talked about on our 10 K club group call today is what are you? I heard one of my mentors say this on a recent call. And I thought it was so good and so profound. What are you tolerating in your life that you just don’t wanna tolerate anymore?
Elyse Archer (15:50):
Not the stuff that’s so annoying and so obnoxious that you say, I’ve gotta change this immediately, but what’s the stuff that you’re like still kind of available for, even if it’s not, it doesn’t feel very good. And for me, I noticed some of those old thought patterns and it was like the fact that I had given them any energy at all felt so comical to me because it was just, oh my gosh, like I’ve got so many bigger fish to fry than these <laugh>, but so I would really invite you to look at that and to create that different perspective of yourself. Um, and it, I know this can sound tricky to do because you’re like I’m in my head all day long. How do I see myself differently? Oftentimes the pro is really it’s that we don’t see ourselves for who we are. And ne Godard said this in feeling is the secret and I don’t have the exact quote, but it’s something to the extent of the only thing holding you back from what you want is that you don’t see yourself as already having it, or is the per you don’t see yourself as you really are.
Elyse Archer (16:53):
And that really stuck with me when I read that for the first time. And it still sticks with me because we see ourselves from a very di a very diluted perspective. A very distorted perspective is probably the, the right word from who we really are. And we tend to view things through the lens of oftentimes it’s inner child. So we view things through the lens of past wounding, past trauma. Our mind is constantly calculating how do I avoid pain and how do I avoid going back to some painful experiences? So we tend to view things through that lens, and that’s a very disempowering lens to view things through. So we wanna learn to our perspective and to see ourselves from a more powerful perspective so that we only give air time to the things that really matter in life. And this came up on this, this group call today, one of my clients who she wasn’t there at the event, but she shared something that I thought was really powerful.
Elyse Archer (17:51):
And she said, we always talk about what’s working for you at the beginning of our group calls. And she said, what was working for her? Was she had had a friend come in and stay with her and had just been kind of seeing her in her natural element throughout the day. And her friend said to her, at one point she, she was like, do you know what a badass you are? Like, do you see that? And my client was like, no, but I really needed to hear that. And thank you. And she started viewing herself differently through the lens of someone else. And a lot of things started shifting for her with that. And I asked her because she’s a great coach too. And I, so I asked her on the call, you know, if you had to give the women in this group one key for how they could create that same perspective shift for themselves, even if they don’t have someone sitting around and shadowing them during the day, what would it be?
Elyse Archer (18:42):
And she said, she said, I would write a list and I would write a list of everything that I’ve accomplished in my life, but I’m just not even thinking about anymore. And look at that and realize who I am like really look at that list and realize how incredible I am. And so I thought that was such great advice. I’ve done. I’ve done that at different times in my life, but it’s been a while. And I think I’m gonna redo my list. And I would invite you to do that too. Really shift your perspective of who you are, because this is actually part of the key with creating the quantum leap is alignment. And the key is embodiment. It’s you embodying the embodying the version of yourself, you desire to be. But when we come at that next level of, of ourselves with kind of still those old second guessing, and self-doubts like, it’s just, it creates disparity and a mismatch between where you are now and what you’re wanting to create.
Elyse Archer (19:41):
And so we wanna make you an energetic match for where you’re going. And part of how you’re gonna do that is to build really powerfully off of what you’ve already done. And to see yourself as you really are, which is this incredible creator who creates anything that she or he focuses on and has done a lot of really incredible things in your life. So make that list and help that sh and carry it with you and let that shift you into a new perspective of what’s possible for you and who you are. And the third and final thing that I wanted to share with you today is staying open and staying available for the magic in your life. And this was inspired by another woman on this group call, who was also in Sedona. And she asked this question on our call today. And she said, it just felt like magic when I was there.
Elyse Archer (20:32):
And then I got back and I started kind of going about my day to day life, and she’s got a corporate job. So she’s kind of one foot in that world, one foot in, you know, entrepreneur world. And she said, I felt like I just crashed. And it was like, how do I do this? How do I live in this energy when I’ve seen what’s possible? On the other side, when I’ve been in the magic, how do I stay available to the magic and stay open to that when I’m not at a retreat in Sedona? And I really heard her on that because I’ve, I’ve definitely had times in my life. And one of them even relatively recently, where I got so focused, we can get so focused on the doing and on the processes. And on the day to day that it’s almost like we forget.
Elyse Archer (21:24):
We forget to look for the magic in things, and I love this. So I’m a huge, Jodi spends a nerd. If you follow me slash know me. And so I’m rewatching his rewatching rewired. Wow. I’m rewatching his rewired series on Gaia now for probably the fifth or sixth time. And one of his trainings is about, um, there’s a couple trainings about this, but one in particular is about quantum fit, the quantum field, how it works. And one of the things he says is if you’re not aware of the quantum field, it doesn’t exist for you. If you’re not aware of the quantum field, it doesn’t exist for you. And that really hit home for me when I heard him say that, because I know in my own life I wasn’t, but brought up learning this stuff I wasn’t brought. I was brought up in a very academic, very traditional, um, logical analytical household.
Elyse Archer (22:17):
And there’s, there’s a lot to be said for that. And if that’s all that you’re ever focused on, you’re missing out on 90 to 95% of what creates results. So most of my life, I grew up totally unaware of any of this. And I got, you know, I got, eh, I got good results by most of the world’s standards, but I wasn’t happy. And so as I started studying this and deepening my own jour, my own journey of universal laws and quantum for physics and the science behind this, I started seeing it. I actually started seeing it in real life. I started seeing it play out and it was like Al it was almost like the veil had been lifted. And I suddenly saw things differently as they really are. But because I hadn’t been aware of it before it didn’t exist for me. And so your brain is actually designed that whatever it is that you focus on, whatever it is you’re thinking about, it will carve out neural pathways for that thing.
Elyse Archer (23:20):
And it will actually, it’s, it’s you hear the phrase, whatever you focus on expands, but that’s the science behind it. And so if you’re not aware, if you’re not looking for magic, if you’re not aware that it can exist and, and magic is, uh, oh, what is the, was it Voltaire? Who said, it’s our way of explaining the unexplainable? Anyway, it’s the quote, unquote magic is really just universal laws at work that we don’t realize what’s happening. Um, but it’s, it’s fun, right? Like it’s fun and it’s exciting, but either way, if you wanted to become more aware of and more open to magic and possibility and synchronicities in your life, you would have to start to look for it. And to me, that’s the most fun way to live because I find when I get very bogged down in the doing energy and very bogged down in processes and systems, and usually it has to do with my business, it starts to feel heavy and stuff starts to feel harder.
Elyse Archer (24:21):
And it’s like, I’ve just forgotten that there’s this whole other way to create Y and one of the things that you also learn with metaphysics is that once you learn how to create using spiritual law, using spiritual principles, using, um, energy, you can’t go back to the other way. It won’t work for you. This is something that I love from some of Catherine Ponder’s teaching. So it’s like once you’ve experienced and my little one is coming home right now. So if you hear some in the background, that’s all that’s going on. But once you’ve experienced creating in, um, creating, according to quantum physics and spiritual law, you can’t go back to the other way to doing it matter on matter and get the same results. And so, for me, I know if I feel like I’m pushing a Boulder uphill, it’s because I’m, it’s like I’ve forgotten and it’s simply because I stop putting so much attention on it.
Elyse Archer (25:14):
So this is one thing that you can do that I do that really helps me just remember how stuff works and look for the magic and become more aware of it is I keep, I call it a manifestation in journal. You could call it whatever you wanna call it, but it’s something that I practice either at the end of the day or at the beginning of the next morning, writing what manifested in my life yesterday today that I wanted to take a moment and acknowledge because I see the synchronicity in it. I see how things were orchestrated on my, my behalf. I see how this happened because I’m, I care about literally creating new neural pathways and more grooves in my brain to notice those things, because the more we carve those out, the more aware we can become of them and the more they can become a part of our just everyday life.
Elyse Archer (26:03):
So that’s one little thing that you can do. That’s gonna help you more magic, regardless of whether you are sitting in your seat at your corporate job, or whether you’re at your Sedona retreat, like whichever one it is, you’re gonna be able to be more aware of it because you’re consciously focusing on it. So those are your three. So I’ll do a super quick recap for you. The first one is the importance of space schedule space for yourself as you go into next year. It’s so critically important. The second, the power of shifting into a new perspective, seeing yourself from that higher level and seeing your life and your thoughts from that higher level. And then the third is staying available for the magic, staying open to the magic and keep that journal, keep, um, you know, keep whatever sort of records you need to keep so that you stay open to how synchronicities are happening in your life, to how things are working for you all the time, so that you can experience more and more of that every single day until it just becomes how you live.
Elyse Archer (27:09):
So those are my, those are my three for you. And I hope you enjoyed this. I hope you’ll also stay tuned and stay, uh, just stay posted on my social media. The retreat was such a powerful, I don’t even know that I have words for it, but it was such a powerful experience. It was like, yes, we are gonna do so many more of these in 20, 22 and beyond. So I’ll be sharing more details on those as we have more live events coming out. And I would also just ask if this spoke to you today, if this helped you, I would be so honored. If you would share this on your social media, share this mess such, I think everyone is looking for, everyone’s looking for hope. Everyone’s looking for a different way to do things. That’s really one of the things I got very present to this past week.
Elyse Archer (27:55):
Everyone needs some encouragement. Everyone needs a more powerful way to show up in their lives. And so if this helped you do that, I’d be so honored if you shared this episode and tag me, uh, um, to share it with your network and help your network as well, uh, make these up levels. So I hope you enjoyed this. I can’t wait to hear your takeaways on social. Like I said, tag me, send me a DM. Let me know what your biggest takeaway was. And I can’t wait to see you next week with our next episode of she cells radio bye for now.