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“Financial independence is a birthright. We just have to know how to claim it.” Thanks to our guest today, Mel Abraham, we are taking the steps to understand how to do just that. I am thrilled to have Mel on She Sells Radio today because of how much of an impact he has had on me personally. I have always been good at making money, but in full transparency, I haven’t always been good at managing it. I began working with Mel as my financial coach and I am feeling so much more confident and am learning more everyday. 

 

Mel helps business owners and entrepreneurs build meaningful businesses so that they can have more profit, fans, and freedom. His principles help customers become raving fans and create fulfillment from a business that is congruent with your values, in alignment with your higher vision, and connected to all stakeholders at an emotional level. He helps bring people’s dreams out of the darkness and see the light again. He is a globally recognized thought leader, financial expert, best-selling author of the book The Entrepreneur’s Solution: The Modern Millionaire’s Path to More Profit, Fans, and Freedom, and a highly ranked podcaster.

 

Something I admire about Mel is that he works with some of the top entrepreneurs in the world, but still always puts his own family first. As you listen to this podcast, you will feel inspired and driven to invest in your future in a way that brings you fulfillment now without sacrificing what’s really important.



Show Notes:

[1:39] – Elyse admits that in the past, she was good at making money but not good at managing it. She hired today’s guest as a coach.

[4:09] – Mel explains that many CPAs look back at what has already been done which doesn’t do any good if you don’t look at what’s possible for the future.

[5:34] – Sharing a story about raising his son as a single father, Mel illustrates how he changed his trajectory.

[6:52] – Mel’s son drew a picture of his dad standing in front of computers with phones in each hand. This was an eye-opening experience for Mel.

[8:24] – There is no work-life balance. Mel explains that we need to be on a search for harmony rather than balance.

[9:29] – Elyse connects with Mel’s story as she takes a look at her developing relationship with her son.

[11:32] – The core principle Mel teaches is being able to clearly answer the question of “Why?”

[12:27] – “How do you know when you’ve crossed the finish line if you don’t know where the finish line is?”

[13:40] – When Mel moved his son as the priority over the dollars, everything fell into place.

[14:34] – What is your definition of success? Your own idea of success is what will be fulfilling to you.

[16:13] – Instead of always looking at the cost of things in your business, consider how much of your life it costs you and determine what is worth that investment.

[17:04] – For Mel, he took the time to determine the intolerables to make appropriate business boundaries for himself and his son.

[18:16] – Many people will compromise so much of their lives for money.

[20:33] – Elyse and Mel discuss the simple strategy regarding investment that has been successful for them. It is simple, but not always easy.

[21:50] – Think about the message you create for yourself when you invest in your future with the leftover income each month instead of investing in yourself first.

[22:54] – Mel explains the 50% percent rule and how it works, especially in an online business.

[24:28] – If you follow the 50% rule, you have the opportunity to create a lifestyle for the future.

[25:30] – Your dollars are the best employees when you invest and build wealth. Make it work harder for you than you did to earn it.

[26:24] – Mel advises that if you don’t understand something completely, do not invest in it no matter how good it sounds.

[28:51] – From an advisor’s stand point, are they giving you the best investment for a client or a suitable investment? Get the right person who has your vision in mind.

[30:28] – Don’t be afraid to ask questions. If you aren’t sure where to go to ask, go to Mel’s podcast and he will help.

[32:17] – The qualities that Mel looks for in an advisor are 1) have the heart of a teacher; 2) they understand your vision and buy into it; and 3) they need to have the soul of a servant.

[33:38] – Mel’s number one piece of advice is to believe in the possibilities and don’t delay.

[34:51] – What would Mel’s son’s drawing look like now?

 

Links and Resources:

Instagram  |  LinkedIn  |  YouTube

She Sells with Elyse Archer Home Page

 

Connect with Mel:

The Affluent Entrepreneur Podcast

The Lifestyle Wealth Calculator

Mel Abraham’s Home Page

YouTube  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  |  LinkedIn  |  Instagram

 

 

Welcome to she sells radio. Oh my gosh, guys, my guest today on the podcast is someone I am so excited to bring to you. And I want to give you just a little bit of context before we get into the interview. And I think you’ll totally understand why we’re bringing him in. Yes. I said to him, this is, I think our third man, um, she sells radio. So very excited about that too, but here’s a question for you. I don’t know if you can relate to this, but I have always felt for most of my life, I felt like I was good at making money, but I hated managing it. I avoided managing it. I avoided looking at my bank account. I was this classic financial avoidant. I would feel fear and feel discomfort. And just, even though, like I thought there’d be money in my account.

I didn’t want to look at it cause I didn’t have a good grasp on my spending and investing. And so I just kept putting it off. And I know from working with a lot of my clients that they can relate. So maybe you can relate to, as you listen to this and there’s something that happens at least this has been my experience. That there’s something that happens when you have a child where you finally decided to just pull your head out of your in a lot of different ways and get serious about your life and your money. And so for Jason and me last year, when we had Jack, we knew it was time to not only keep making money and making more, but also finally become really good at investing it and multiplying it. And so our guest today is someone who I’ve actually recently hired as a personal coach, a financial coach to help me up level my business and Uplevel my financial acumen.

And for me, when I heard that he helped work with entrepreneurs like James Wedmore and Brendon Burchard, I said, okay, he’s probably good enough for me to, and he’s helped them build and scale their businesses and works with many, many entrepreneurs and business leaders who, you know, and a little bit of context. And then I’m going to tell you who we have on. So our guest today is a CPA by education, but an entrepreneur by exhilaration and a true believer in the entrepreneurial way of life. And he loves, I love this about him. He loves helping bring people’s dreams out of the darkness and breathe life into them. Again, he’s a globally recognized thought leader and a financial expert. He’s a number one national bestselling author of the entrepreneur solution. And he’s ranked number two most powerful business podcasts by social entrepreneur. So please welcome Mel Abraham to, she sells radio malware, thrilled to have you.

It’s so cool to be here. So thank you for, thank you for even asking them and number you said it was the third. I’m the third dude that’s been on here. Huh?

You’re the third dude. I know, I know. No, it’s, it’s quite an honor. It is quite an honor. My friend. Yeah. Well, and part of what I love to Mellon, I think this is where your, my sense is you’re a bit of a unicorn in the space is you’ve got that CPA background, but you also have the strong entrepreneurial background. So you kind of both, which from what I can tell is pretty rare and also pretty valuable. So I’m excited to have, um, just have your insight here with both of those worlds, being your background.

Well, it’s interesting you say that because I think most CPAs and most accountants, uh, they spend their life looking in the rear view mirror, looking at what has been done. And so they’re the scribe of the past, which doesn’t do us any good unless we’re looking towards the future. So I want the view at the out the windshield. I want to look to the future and I want to sit back and say, what’s possible. And you know, yeah, there’s some great lessons in the, in the past and, and learnings and things, but we don’t want to live there. And so it was, and it was a struggle for me as a, as a CPA. And that’s why I think, uh, that entrepreneurial kind of, uh, just rose up in me and said, no, w we, we want to move forward. I don’t want to keep looking backwards.

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And that’s as entrepreneurs, it’s like, that’s, that’s the way we’re wired. Right? That’s how we got to go and drive. And so one of the things that I feel like I relate to you on is you talk a lot about your son and the lessons that he’s taught you in life. And now that I’ve got a son, it’s like, I’m just, I’m excited, right? As he gets older to learn things from him, but you share the story about your son, drawing a picture of you that really changed your life and change the direction that you were going in. So tell us about that time and where were you at in your life and business and what was it about this picture that made you shift and pivot to do what you do today?

Oh, thank you. So, so here’s, here’s the thing. This was, uh, now I’m going to go back a little way. So this was back in 1995, 96. My son was a, a was five and a half years old. Uh, it was when I, you know, I became a single full time dad. I started raising him full-time as a single dad. And, and so I, that same year I was pushed out of my partnership. I had, I was in a traditional CPA firm. I had two traditional partners. They pushed me out basically saying, we don’t want to be partners with you anymore because I was going a different direction. Remember CPAs, look in the past, I was looking forward. I had this bigger vision. I was speaking around the country. I was doing a lot of things that the traditional CPA wasn’t doing. So, so I was pushed out with no clients, no client backlog, no work, no cashflow.

And I was $300,000 in debt because I just bought a house. And I was just given the greatest gift of my life and that’s being the dad. And, uh, so I did what most entrepreneurs do. I got on the treadmill. I put my head down, I started to run and I started to find clients. I started do the things that I needed to do. And all of a sudden the cash flows coming in. And I said, Hey, great kid. We’re going to be okay. The roof’s going to stay over our head. We’re going to get a chance to do this. And then he came running in one day, um, and six years old, really excited and proud of what he did. And he said, daddy, daddy, daddy. I, I drew a picture of you at school. And, and here I am, you know, kneeling down and getting this picture from him.

And it was a stick figure. Picture in blue felt tip pen of me standing in front of two computers with a phone in each year and the phone on the desk ringing. And, um, and it was like a knife in the heart. I mean, it was, it was, it wasn’t us playing ball. It wasn’t us at Disney. It wasn’t us having fun. All he saw was his dad working. And it was that, it was that moment where I said, there’s got to be a different way to do business and to do money. And that there’s gotta be a way to look at it differently because it can’t be that my dream to be an entrepreneur impact people’s lives make a difference in people’s lives. Can’t coexist with the gift of being a father. And, and that’s when I started to look at, at how I did business, how I looked at life.

And one of the things that came out of that really is this whole idea of work-life balance. And, and, uh, because I had a whole lot of people saying, well now, you know, cause it, it really hit me hard. Um, and you need to get work-life balance people who would say, and I, and, and, and the fact is is that there is no work life balance. It’s a myth because if I start to live my life in little compartments, then there’s, there’s a conflict there. And, and it’s a problem. And I, so I don’t think we’re in search for balance. I think we’re in search for harmony. And when we look at it in that context, I realized that every choice I made in business or otherwise is truly a life choice, because it would have been easy for me to look at Jeremy and say, Hey man, Hey kid, this, this is for us, the profits, I got to have the profits so I can keep the roof and we can do that.

But Jeremy didn’t care about my profits. He cared about my presence. He cared that I was there. And, uh, and so that’s when I started to look at, you know, there’s, there’s gotta be a new framework, a new process, a new way of doing it. And that’s what started to shift things for me in, in the sense of how I, how I did business and how I did my took care of my money, the way I lived my life to allow us to, to have the things that we do. So I could be a good dad, as well as an entrepreneur and a good person. And, you know, did I lose clients in the process? Sure, I did. But when you get your value straight, when you get those priorities straight, you, you, it doesn’t, it doesn’t matter. And so those that didn’t understand that Jeremy was the priority. Um, they just didn’t stay as clients. And I was cool with

That. Yeah, gosh, it’s, you know, as a, as a new parent myself, um, I relate to that so much and you know, my, I met you through my coach, Kayla, and she, and I had a call a while back where, you know, I hired her for business coaching, but it ends up as with anything. It ends up being more personal and mindset coaching. And she asked, she was like, how’s your relationship with Jack? And it was a time at which we had all of a sudden had some huge leaps financially launched a new program, massively successful. And I’m like, oh my gosh, we got to keep this going and scaling and hiring new team. And she asked me that question, and it wasn’t like a specific thing that I thought of, but I just, I crumbled in that moment because I knew in my heart that my energy, even when I was with him, I was thinking about the business.

And I don’t, I, no doubt, like you can probably relate to that. I know a lot of people listening can relate to that too, just because as entrepreneurs, we love our business. Right. That’s I think the challenge sometimes is it’s fun. It’s her baby, but how did, so when she said that it was, oh my gosh, I’m so glad that I’m thinking about this now when he’s nine months old, rather than whenever. And I think whenever you hear this and decide to make that shift is, is important. But for me, it’s been a really interesting, um, lesson of like, of boundary setting. And so I want to ask you about that. Like, how do, how have you learned to set better boundaries and still continue? Cause you have a very successful business, you grow and you scale, you bring in, you know, you’re w you’re working with some of the top entrepreneurs in the world yet you still put family first. How do we, I want to know two things. One is, I want to know emotionally, how do we do that? And number two, tactically, what are some things people can do to create boundaries so that their business doesn’t take over their whole life and they’re left, you know, with, without a family or with a family that doesn’t know them.

So, uh, let, let’s talk a little bit about the emotions first, and then I’ll tell you what I did with Jeremy, um, as part of that. So he had the comfort and the certainty that I was there. Um, but emotionally, one of the, one of the core principles that I, I start everyone off with when it comes to finances, mean, you think that money and, and, and wealth and all that is all left brain columns and rows numbers and stuff like that. But the first question that, that I want to, to really answer is why versus how, or how much, you know, is really getting really clear on why you actually, why do you want a million dollar business? Why do you want a million dollars? Why do you want a hundred dollars? Why it starts to drive things a little differently? Because too often, I was having a conversation with a group yesterday and I asked them how many of them knew what their target wealth number was not one did.

I said, so let me ask the question. How do you know when you cross the finish line? Because if you don’t know where the finish line is, all you know is to keep running. And if you’re not sure where you’re trying to get to, you’ll start running faster, you’ll start running longer, you’ll start running harder. And the treadmill of entrepreneurship becomes a treadmill and it drives you crazy. So, but when we start to understand truly the why behind what we’re doing, then the emotions come from that. I think that allowed me to sit back and say, as soon as I got clear, this is why I’m doing it. And I, and it took a little while, um, to really get, cause I even, even this target get knowing what the finish line was. Uh, I didn’t know that at the time, I just knew what my, why was I knew that that Jeremy had to be a priority.

He was, he was a gift. He was an, he was an innocent child. And then I had the chance to impact him in a positive way, or I had the chance to allow him to go astray. And that was all on me. I couldn’t look at, at, uh, at him and say, he’s just a bad kid. No, I was a fricking bad parent. If, if that was the case, at least that’s the way I took it. And that was the why. And so when I moved that above the dollars, then things seem to fall into place and, and the level of fulfillment, um, the level of joy. And that’s why I use the term affluence is, is versus wealth. Wealth is truly a statistic, but affluence is, is not just the money side of it. It’s the meaning side of it’s the impact side of it’s the peace side of it.

It’s, there’s a lot more to it. And so that allowed me to start to get the emotions, right, by really getting clear and being deliberate in prioritizing and forgetting. And one of the things that is a struggle is to eliminate, put the, put the blinders on and eliminate the influences, um, social media and the media and, and all these outside things. And so we sit back and say, what is your definition of success? What is that? And because there’s a lot of people out there that sit back and go, I can’t believe you’re still you’re living in, in an expensive home, or you’re living here, or you’re driving this car who cares as long as you’re doing it responsibly and it’s not helping and not hurting anyone. It’s more, you know, it doesn’t matter whether you’re in a tent in Montana or a yacht in Monaco, your definition of success is what’s going to be fulfilling. Not someone else’s

Thank you for that. Yeah. And I, and I want to pause on that because I know for me in my life, for so long, I was, I was grinding and working to make money because I was trying to prove something. I was trying to prove my worth. I was trying to prove that I, yeah, I was trying to prove my worth. And I know with a lot of the women who I work with now, at least wouldn’t, they usually, it’s when they first come to me, that’s a lot of their motivation for making more money is they want to, it’s like, they’ve got something to prove and they don’t even realize it because it’s just, it’s part of their paradigm. It’s been running the show for so long, but I’m so glad you said that because I think what a shame it would be to get to your deathbed and realize you were doing all this for what? Like, you can’t take it with you. Right. And I’m all about, I, I love money. I want a lot of money. I enjoy making money. I love helping my clients make money. I think the more money you have, the more good you can be. Like, I’m all about it. But to what extent, right. And not, not to the extent of sacrificing your family. So I just, I wanted to keep going there, but I think that’s,

You’re hitting on a, on a really important point that I hope that they’ll they’ll take away is that no matter what the business equation is and whether the financial equation is no matter what, what formula you’re looking at, there’s this invisible variable that most of us fail to see every equation has in it, lifestyle, every equation has lifestyle. And so when we start to look at this, it’s, it’s easy for us as entrepreneurs to look at and say, well, it’s going to cost me this much for ads. It’s going to constantly this semester for team. But let me ask you, is there a line item in there that says, how much of your life is it costing you? Because we have to give that up to get something. And so if that cost is too great, I don’t do it. Wow.

How do you, how do you measure against that? Like, is it more a gut check for you? Did you make like a yes and a no list at one point that you measured against? Like, how did you, how did you start to draw some of those lines of demarcation?

Uh, for me, part of it was, um, was that I, I figured out what were the, the intolerable intolerable red lines in our lives. And sometimes we, and what, and this is, this is also a rule for investing too often. We make the rules as we go and, and what we would attend. In fact, I had a conversation with another one-on-one client that I had, and he wanted to do trading. And I said, that’s fine, but I need you to make sure that, you know, the rules to get in and the rules to get out before you ever get in the trade. So, you know, the rules and it’s the same thing in our life is, is that when we actually define, before we move into our life too greatly, when we actually define I’m going to do business, here’s the rules of engagement. Here’s, here’s what it is before the beforehand, because it’s too easy when we’re in the game. Well, just this one time we start to compromise our ourselves, our values. Um, money’s a funny thing. Money’s a, uh, an interesting thing because you, if you look around, you’ll see people that because of money will compromise their values, a compromise, their ethics, so compromise their health, the compromise, the relationships, and not compromise their life for this thing. That is a piece of paper. That’s a useless piece of a piece of paper, unless it’s used for positive and good things. And so money is neither negative nor positive. It’s just a tool.

And too often, we allow it to control us when money becomes our master, we, our lives become,

Oh my gosh, amen. All amen to all of that. And that was my life and my experience for so long. And that’s why I love just, I’m so passionate about educating people now on what money is, what it’s not, it’s just energy. It’s just a tool, just like you said. And then to, to have you on here where we can talk about, okay, how do we actually use it as a tool so that we’re not a slave to it for the rest of our lives? Because I think that’s a part like that’s something I really didn’t think about for a long time. It was always someday I’ll think about retirement someday. I’ll think about investing, but right now I’m just going to focus on paying the bills and making money. And I just want to sit here and talk about manifesting and blah, blah. And like, I love that stuff.

I can talk about that all day long, but it was part of what I really loved about hiring you is there’s a greater level of, I think, maturity to be able to say, okay, we can talk about manifesting all day long. We can talk about the frequency of your goals, the frequency of money, all of that. I love that. I believe in that that’s changed my life. Yes. And when we bring in that money, how do we use it as a tool so that we’re not on that? I love you said the dread mill, so we’re not on that treadmill all the time. So there’s one thing that you taught me that has simplified the whole process of saving and investing. And I love it because I, I felt so confused. I felt so confused about like, do I do profit first? Do I do this? Like, how do I allocate and divide the dollar? And there’s so many different systems out there, but you’ve got this really simple 50, 50 system that we’ve implemented in our business and families since hiring you. And I finally, for the first time, feel like I’m clear on what I’m doing. It makes sense. And I feel relaxed about the amount of money would you share just like at a high level, how that works. I think it’s so good.

And thank you for that. And I think, and I’m glad you used the word simple. It may not be easy for some people, but it is a simple system and it works. And I’ll give you an example of it. So the bottom line is, is, is that a lot of people say, you know, what do we, what do I want to, uh, how much do I invest? What do I do? I mean, so here’s, let’s first understand what I called up. The wealth wealth pathway is that most, most people, the way they grown up, the way they live their life is they make money. They spend money, they see what’s left and they’ll invest from what’s left. So what you’re doing is saying to you, to yourself internally. And so you think about the emotional impact, the spiritual impact, all of that, the mind impact the psychological impacts of saying to yourself that my future is worth only the scraps that I have left.

And I know that may hit hard for some people, but, but it’s intentional for you to that your future matters your future matters because it matters to, to Jack. You know, it matters to our children and matters to our causes. It matters to all of that. And so when you see truly wealthy, rich people, what they do is they make money. They invest money and they see what’s left. And they say, this is what I get to build my lifestyle with. And if, and this is the blessing of being an entrepreneur, if what’s left, doesn’t give you the lifestyle that you want. Then you have the ability to go generate more income, or look at your expense structure, or look at that, but we make investing a priority. So, so our future think about the message that we’re creating is that we’re creating a different psychology and in our mind, and I know I’m a left brain dude talking about psychology, but I love it.

Here’s when you say that my future is as important as my today then, and it’s not about forsaking everything because Lord knows. I mean, you, you kinda know how I live. I’m not living on ramen and, and, and, and Mac and cheese. Okay. And I live in a nice home and, and, and all of that, but I, but we do it smart. And we make sure that the investing isn’t sacrificed to make that happen. That’s what generated this whole idea of the 50% rule. And so the way the 50% rule works, especially in online and online businesses, because online businesses are high margin businesses, but even in offline businesses, you’re going to have revenue. That’s how much money comes in the door from the customers. You’re going to have costs. That’s how much money you’re going to have to put out the door to, to make sure that you can make the sales and deliver to the customers.

You’re going to have another number, which I was just listening to another podcast, um, that, that we need to think about and that’s taxes like it or not. Y’all have a, um, I’m a California dude talking and using y’all left brain in your business. Exactly. You know, you, you all have a partner in your business and it’s, it’s, it’s, uh, it’s the, the taxes. And if we don’t pay that, like, I, I, I listened to another podcast where someone was $140,000 owed to the IRS. Well, you can’t bankrupt that that’s gonna, that’s gonna haunt him until he gets it paid off. And, and so do you, don’t, you don’t forsake that you got to know that when I’m making a dime, there’s a, there’s a slice of that, depending on your situation, how much to put away. So you have expenses, you have taxes, and then you have what’s left.

What’s left is your profit. This is where the 50% rule comes in is I tell my clients, I want you to split that profit 50% is for your current lifestyle, 50% is for your future lifestyle. Now, when we do that, we have the opportunity to create a lifestyle that allows us to grow in the future to put, to put it away. So, so too often, I see entrepreneurs where they got money in money out. Hey, I just made a bunch of money. I was talking to someone yesterday and she literally she’s, she’s done really well with some launches and some stuff she’s got half a million dollars sitting in a bank account because I don’t want it. I’d just go buy an expensive car,

Which, you know, as entrepreneurs we’ll go do, right. If it’s just go get the Tesla, whatever.

Well, that’s it. And I said, I said, before you do that, let’s are you putting anything away? Well, I have an IRA. I go an IRA, $6,000. Isn’t going to get you anywhere. Let’s, let’s put them. So, I mean, we’re going to do a plan and, and, and make sure that she’s dialed in. But, but she was, she says, I’m a money hoarder. I said, I said, you, you are a money hoarder in one sense,

But it’s going

To all get eroded away because you’re not doing anything with your money, your dollars. They’re like the best employees you could ever find, because your dollars are willing to work seven days a week, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year for you. And the idea about investing and wealth building is to take the money out of your business, that 50% and make it work harder for you than you did for

It. I love that. I love that. Yeah. If investing feels overwhelming to someone, and first of all, if it does, like, I can relate because I have felt like, oh my gosh, there’s so many options. Where did we say? Where, where does someone start? I mean, obviously like, listen to your podcast, right? Affluent entrepreneurs show. Is that like, and I know you’ve, and I w I want to tell them in a minute where to connect with you as well, but what’s like one simple place to start if investing just feels overwhelming. So

Here’s what I would, I would do is that when you start to, I tell all my clients, we don’t invest in anything. We don’t understand. Um, because it’s too, there’s too many nuances or ways you can get taken. Um, I learned from experience. Okay. Uh, so if you don’t understand it, you don’t invest it, no matter how good it sounds. Um, so what that means is that if you sit back and say, I have a, I have a, uh, a kind of a yearning to do something in, in say, real estate. Well, the first thing that you want to do is get information on that. Getting books, listen to podcasts, um, getting courses, but courses that are educational, not trying to sell you something. There’s a lot of people out there that I I’ve got a deal for you. And they sell you, sell you, sell you like, and that’s why, that’s why I liked some of the things that I do.

Although I don’t sell any investments. I got nothing to sell people in this, in the context of investments, I’ll talk unbiasedly about the financial services industry investments. I want P I got P the only thing I want to sell people on is a D is a different future. The possibility, cause I believe financial independence is a birthright. We just got to know how to go claim it. And so the first thing is to get something that’s an unbiased understanding. Now you can start with some really base level books or literature or something. You know, obviously my, my show, um, and see what, what you want, whether it’s stocks, whether it’s real estate, whether it’s cryptos, although crypto’s are more speculative and volatile, I’d be careful with them. If you’re just starting out. In fact, I tell people just starting out, not even to touch them right now, because we need a foundation of, of investment.

And then we’ll take a slice off to do that. Um, so first is understanding. Second is probably mentorship in the sense of guidance. Um, you get a financial advisor, but we need to be careful about the financial advisors. That they’re all not, they’re not all created equal. Look at where they get paid, look at how they get paid and look at the bias in which they, they do things. I try to get people. If they’re going to be with an advisor, they want, I want them with a fiduciary that has an obligation to put your interest above anyone else’s interest, including their own by, by licensed and by, um, legality. That that’s just the way it is. And, and so if an investment, the question is from an advisor standpoint, is that, are they giving you the best investment for you? Not an investment that’s suitable for you.

There’s a different standard for, for them. There’s where they say, well, it’s suitable for them. No, no, that’s not the question. The question is, is it the best investment for them? And, and that’s, that’s the thing. So getting an advisor, getting a coach, getting someone that has your dream in mind, your vision in mind, and the sole focus is to help you accomplish that. Not withstanding what their financial arrangements are and how they get paid. And I think those are the, the, the first two things. And then number three is really to get involved, get involved in it and know that your financial journey is a personal, that’s why they call it personal finance. It’s a personal journey. If you have, like, that’s why I love working with you. And Jason is the two of you were in it together. And I tell couples all the time.

I said, I don’t want to work with just one, because this is, this is a joint effort. When you’re in a committed relationship, we need to have these conversations. You need to be on the, I don’t, I’m not worried if you’re not on the same, but I need you on the same page. Yeah. I need you to have the same vision. I need you to have the same desires. Um, so we know that you have a supportive environment. If, if you don’t have a supportive environment, then it’s like, it’s like a fish in a dirty aquarium. You’d take the fish out, you get it healthy. And you put it back in the dirty aquarium. It becomes a challenge. And so, so that’s, those are the things that I would start with and then don’t be afraid. Here’s the other thing, I think don’t be afraid to ask questions if you’re, if you’re not sure where to ask the questions, come to my show, ask the questions there. I will get them answered. We’ll we’ll do an episode on it. You know, something, um, the, the idea is this is that too often. We’re, we’re embarrassed. We don’t know. We don’t ask, ask the questions. Yeah. And because that’s where we’re going to start to grow and go.

Yeah. Which is, I, I so appreciate that you brought that up and you know, when I first encountered you and interacted with you, it was in a mastermind with other women in my coaches program. And it was, so the environment that you create is so conducive and open to like, there’s no bad questions. And when it was so helpful, because I think I heard women ask questions that I had to, but I had been afraid to ask because I thought shouldn’t, I know that. And you know, there’s, there’s seven figure entrepreneurs and hearing that they also had these questions was like, okay, this is it. It’s a lot of information. And it’s it’s you have to advocate for yourself. I think that’s one thing I’m taking away from this conversation is empower yourself, get educated yourself, ask the right questions. Don’t, don’t do something that’s going to jeopardize your financial future because you’re afraid to sound stupid asking a question like it’s, your life is not worth that. Right. Risking your dreams is not worth that. So I’m so glad you brought that up. And, um, yeah. Did you want to add something else?

I want to add something because you just kind of reminded me. We were talking about advisors that this is, this is where asking questions is important too often. We’ve we’ll, we’ll go to an advisor and we’ll put them on a pedestal and they’ll talk down

To us. Okay?

Your advisor is not the captain of your ship. You are the captain of the ship. They’re truly an advisor standing to your right or your left to guide you. That means that I look for three characteristics in my advisor. I want them to one, have a heart of a teacher. So in other words, that means that you get to ask as many questions, as many freaking questions as you want. And if it takes them hours to explain it to you, that is their job. And if they don’t have the patience or the tolerance to do that and get rid of them

Too,

They understand your vision and dream and they buy into it. They’re not there to tell you why you can’t, they’re there to try and orchestrate and help you so you can get there. And even if you get 70% of the way there, they, at least you got 70% of the way there. And three, they to have a soul of a servant. And that is that they are a servant to your vision, to you become the priority. Your vision comes to priority your legacy. And all you’re doing becomes a priority. If they don’t have those three characteristics, I don’t care how much money they have under management. I don’t care how good they are, how knowledgeable they are, firearm. That’s my opinion.

Yeah. Yes. I love that. I love it. It’s taking our power back and this is, I’m so passionate about it. I’m so glad you brought that up too. So two final questions for you, this amazing. And then I want you to tell everyone where they can connect with you. So first is if you were to give one final piece of advice to a woman on her journey to affluence, what would that one best piece of advice be?

Um, I think that the, the first is to believe in the possibility I just, to me, financial independence has been made so complex, so far reaching. So, um, well it’s a distant future. No, it’s today. That, that means that that believe in it. One, two don’t delay it, meaning that I don’t care if you’re making $50,000 a year, 150 or a million dollars a year, you’re never making too little to put something away. $50 a week can turn into $300,000 over, over, over decades. Okay. You know, $800 a month turns into over a million dollars, uh, in, in a nest egg. So the bottom line is it. I need to get you in the game, no matter how small it is, don’t delay, because time does the work for you. And then three get around people that have a common, common thought process, a common desire. So you’re, you’re in the game together.

Yeah. Oh, that’s so good. That’s so good. I love that final question. So if your son were to draw a picture of you today, what do you think it would look like?

It’s? So the funny thing is, um, when he was 17, he, uh, he was not with me on father’s day because he was at a football camp, but he sent me a picture of, uh, a silhouette of a father and son walking on the beach with a quote. And he said, he, the thing said, I’m sorry, I’m not with you on father’s day. We’ll celebrate when I get back from the camp. Um, but the quote underneath, it said, he didn’t tell me how to live. He just showed me and allowed me to watch. And, uh, so he did actually give me another picture and we are best friends today. He’s, he’s just turned 31. He’s got a 20, his wife’s 27. We’re expecting our, well, we are, we are expecting our first grandchild. They’re expecting

It is, it’s so exciting. It’s a family event.

And you know, they’re, they’re independent. I mean, they’ve got three homes, they’ve got a multimillion dollar net worth at their age. And, um, and as he’s, as, as he becomes my greatest success than I did what I was meant to do here.

Yeah. Gosh, that’s so inspiring. Thank you for that. Because just from one parent to another, like seeing what’s possible in setting that example and just knowing, like, whenever you make that decision to switch and pivot and let your business support the life that you’re building and putting your family first, like, that’s the perfect timing and it’s just super inspiring to me. So yeah. Oh my gosh. No, I, I love everything you shared. I know that everyone listening is going to want to listen to your podcast. They’re going to want to get connected with you. So tell us, please, about more about where they can find your podcasts and then about you’ve got this great wealth calculator as well that they can use. So, so tell us more about that.

They can go to the affluent entrepreneur show.com. They’ll get them connected to the podcast. And, uh, we’re dropping episodes, uh, weekly now. And, uh, I’ll be bringing guests on just, just like yourself. And then I’m going to be bringing some of them on some of the audience members on to coach them directly and to answer questions and, and, and do that. So we’re going to have some fun, but the whole idea is to change your financial destiny. And that’s a safe place, a safe place to have real conversations around money, or you don’t feel uncomfortable. You don’t feel ridiculed. You don’t feel any of that. So, yeah, so that’s, that’s what the show is. And then I have a calculator too often, like, remember I said, we don’t know where the finish line is. So I have something called the wealth lifestyle calculator. Uh, and it’s just, you’re going to put in a couple of numbers, it’s going to give you an idea of what you need to do to get to the number and what that number should look like based on the lifestyle you want.

If you go to Mel abraham.com forward slash wealth tool, tol you can get access to that free. And, um, and at least get an idea. Now, just a word of warning, because I had someone reach out to me after he, he did it and he said, oh my God, I was depressed after it. But I was, I was awakened in the sense that I now know what I, what I have. I know what the finish line is. I know where I got to go. And now it’s a matter of putting the things in place to get there. We want to walk through life aware. We want to walk through life conscious and intentional, especially when it comes to our money. And this will help you at least take that one step closer to making that happen.

Yeah. Yeah. It’s so great. That’s so great. And I think as someone who said, you know, I was financially avoid it and I’ve learned to get past that. It is, it’s taking that first step. It’s looking at it, it’s using a great tool, like the wealth lifestyle calculator to say, what am I really going for? Knowing that anything is possible for you, right? With the right mindset and strategy. And so use that tool to lift the veil and take that, you know, take that stand in favor of your future self to help herself or himself out. So, Mel, this was phenomenal. I’m so grateful to have you in our lives to have as a mentor and a coach helping us as we grow our wealth and our family. And congratulations on being grandchild on the way and just huge. Thank you to you for everything you shared today. This has been so phenomenal and I’m so grateful.

Um, I, I, the gift was mine. I mean, this, this is my happy place to, to serve. And, and it’s a joy and I, I feel blessed and honored that you, you asked me to be part of it. So thank you so much. Yeah,

Absolutely. Well, everyone go check out the affluent entrepreneurs show, listen to the podcast, connect with mal, do the wealth lifestyle calculator. And it really is about letting your money work for you so that you can live out the lifestyle of your dreams, not just for yourself, but for your children and for future generations as well. So, so much love to everyone. Thank you for listening today. And we will see you next week on. She sells radio bye for now.

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