Welcome to she sells radio. So part of what is so fun with this platform is that I get to bring on some of my very favorite clients who are creating amazing change in the world with their businesses and with their brands. And my guest today is such an example of that. She is, you know, when I think of our guests, I think about her being an unshakeable optimist, who believes that nothing is impossible and truly goes after what she wants and makes it happen and empowers other women to do the same. And she’s helped hundreds of women step into greater leadership. She’s the founder of she stayed inability. She’s an international speaker. She’s a mom, she’s a mentor, a coach for female leaders in male dominated industries who want to achieve a higher level of impact and influence. So let’s welcome Rita Hoskin to the podcast. Rita. Welcome. We’re so glad to have you here today.

Oh, thank you so much. Lee’s I been looking so much forward to this a couple of times now, and I think now it was the divine timing.

It really was. And that’s part of what I love about you and about, you know, getting to work together is I think you and I have so much in common as do so many of the people listening, which is that background in male dominated industries can have us feel like we have to be very rigid with how we do things with like we have to constantly push and force. And I think part of what I love so much about you is your allowance of flow being in flow. And even with the rescheduling of this podcast, we did it a few times and then we both said, you know what? This is actually the perfect time. And let’s just allow it to unfold in the perfect way. And I know you help your clients learn to move out of that push and force more into flow as well. So if anyone is wondering where you’re from, you want to share where you’re coming in from today, cause you, uh, you’re an international guest. Yeah. Yes,

Absolutely. So I’m calling in from, from Norway and the west coast of Norway, ascetical spelling

Every time. So my private clients have Marco polo access and every time Rita, Marco, Polo’s me, she’s like, let me show you where I’m at in the summer house. It’s so beautiful. I want, I’m like read a Marco Colome everyday and just show me where you are so that I can live by curiously and take it all in. Cause it’s, it’s not like Atlanta and it’s beautiful. It’s so beautiful. So we are, we’re thrilled to have you here and I’d love for you to share a little bit of your background Rita. So I know you experienced the challenges of working in the male dominated oil and gas industry for 20 years as a sales director. So tell us about that and what you learned from that experience that has led you to the creation of Xi’s standability.

Yeah. You know, it’s actually quite interesting when you’re, you’re giving back to me, what is in my profile, which is, you know, my, uh, experience of working in male dominated industry, you know what, there’s something that I slightly changed on that and that is that it, it wasn’t necessarily the male dominated industry. That was the challenge. It was the masculine industry. And it came to me when I started to think about where did I find the biggest challenges. It was actually working with a women who had a little bit masculinity in them. Interesting. And didn’t allow the feminine to show up. So, so this is where yes, absolutely working in the male dominated industry, traveling the world, uh, being curious about where all the women, but then experiencing often when I was with women, what, what is it that is happening here? And, uh, come to realize that the challenge is the culture, which is very, very masculine. So yes. So my background is, um, definitely working in male dominated industry. So a lot of men, but it was a very masculine industry, which was so much on the Dewar side that, you know, even me having a son suffering from a rare disorder, I am surprised about myself, how I still was leaning in going all in for work. Sometimes maybe sacrificing a lot of things because that’s what, that’s what you supposed to do. You just go all in, you work long hours and you travel the world and you execute a load,

Some context for that too. Cause I know Benjamin is a huge part of your story and I’ve been honored to get to see videos of him behind the scene. So he was diagnosed with a rare disorder at what age too. And so kind of give us some context for that and then how you’re, you know, I just, I’m imagining you taking care of Benjamin being a leader in this field and gosh, it’s, it’s crazy. Yeah, I think about,

Yeah, it was quite a shock. So, so, um, he was three years old and he was then diagnosed with a syndrome called Hurler syndrome. And I was then informed that life expectancy would be between seven and 12 more so probably seven. And I was actually kind of, it was a suggestion from the doctor. She said, um, I think the best thing for you is to leave the work and stay with him at home and pick up your life afterwards. And um, and what happened with me in that moment was that the first period I went into extreme grieving, and it was so intense that even though he was two year old boy, very much alive, very happy. It was like he was already dead and buried. And I remember waking up, um, I was literally waking up. I was in the bathtub, it was kind of, I was crying.

I feeling just horrible. And I realized that, what are you doing? What are you do? Why are you taking somebody else’s limiting beliefs and making them dress on? Because she believed, I said, why, why would I think like that? So I came to realize that I cannot change this diagnosis, but I can definitely change how I proceeded. So I moved into thinking like, okay, how is this happening for me? Yes. You can actually use this in such a horrible situation as well. I realized that the reason this is now happening for me is so that I can go out and help people to live a good life. Because what I said is that, okay, um, might not help Benjamin to live a long life, but I can definitely make sure that he lives a good life. So that became the priority. And my vision was that how can I go out and help other parents help other families to ensure that they live with their children? Like I was just experiencing the same thing. And I did then the opposite of what the doctor said, because she said, you know, leave, work, stay home. And I did exactly opposite. I took on an equally demanding career as a home situation. So courage.

I just want to pause and ask you there at Rita because your story is, it is speaking to my heart in so many ways, because so much of what I care about and what we believe in it, she sells is learning to look inside instead of outside. But that can be hard, especially when that person outside is in a white lab coat and is telling you that your son’s life expectancy is going to be seven to 12 years. How in that moment was there a lot, was there like a long period of doubt and like fighting with yourself on that? And how did you finally arrive at the decision to trust yourself more than to trust this other woman who had put this limitation on your son’s life?

Yeah, that’s a very good question. And I think this is the power when you’re fighting for what you truly love, what means more to you than anything else. I remember my mum come to me and she said, but Rita you’ve always believed that as long as there’s life there’s hope. So what is changed? What has changed? And I just grabbed that and I said, yes, if I would, if I really believe that that as long as there’s life there’s hope, why would I not believe that now? So it was just that it was just this very profound experience where I was like, yes, this is what I’m going to do. This is just what I’m going to do. Did I know how to do it? Absolutely not. I just knew why I was doing it because it was really wanting to ensure that my son’s life was good and that I could be happy at the same time and that it would look like smiley faces and something like that, but I didn’t know how to do it.

Um, so this is why I then actually took on the, the quite demanding job because I realized one thing I did know was in order to do something, I need access to people in high places. I can not sit at home and be a mom scared of what’s going to happen. I need to take this full on. So I just, I went in there. I decided to work in an international organization because I knew that that would open my own confidence and leaning in to just pick up the phone and call whoever which exactly what happened. Because I started to work internationally. I started to seek out other families around the world who has a new one. They know what is very rare disorder, extremely rare disorder. Um, what’s happening on the medical arena. And one of the thing took the other, I mean, you have this vision.

That was my vision to just see people being happy, living good. Maybe they wouldn’t live long, but at least they would live happy. And then gradually this, the right people are showing up like a doctor in, at UCLA who was a young professor who was going to, um, to see, you know, do his studies on this disorder. And he said, you know, Rita, I believe that there is a high chance that we can find an enzyme replacement therapy for this, but it will probably take 20 years and you will be dead by then. But I was like, it doesn’t matter. You’re the first person who have actually shared with me that you believe there is some thing.

What was that moment like for you when he said that I can only imagine the hope, the joy you must have felt.

Yeah. And that was, that was so amazing because whereas he is kind of saying, well, this kind of, this is so terrible to say, because nobody’s going to pay for this. And two 20 years, I was like, thank you. Thank you. You believe in this, you actually believe we can do something. And that was the first time ever anyone said something opposite of everything else. And it was just like, yeah, it was so profound. And I, and I still feel it actually in my body just talking about it because I could so much energy and confidence. Yes. And this is, this is where I really understood that true confidence comes from really believing your why, why I was doing it. And through the journey I had. So many experts were just saying, don’t waste your time to waste your money. Why are you doing this? Just spend your time with Benjamin, just because, you know, this is never going to happen. I remember even to one doctor said, so what are you, what are you indicating? Should I spend money? I’m playing golf or should I spend my money on seeing something else? It makes me feel good helping my son. I mean, there was this weird, um, yeah, we are setting here,

But yeah, I will. And I, I want to just pause on that too, because I think about, you know, in, in things, as in comparison to this conversation, like things as trivial, as sales, right? All the way up to things that are literally impacting the life that are life or death, you will be met with people all along the way, who don’t believe it’s possible, who say no, who turned you down? And I am, I am just soaking in right now, your tenacity. And the fact that what I’m getting is you decided to think for yourself and you were not taking no for an answer. And I think that we can always create the outcome that we’re looking for or something better when we are tenacious. And when we are persistent and it’s, it’s hard, right? When those people who are telling, you know, our doctors are people who are supposed to know more about this than you, but I am just, I have this visual of you, like on a mission sister, like dialing the phones, making it happen, like no doubt missing so many emotional ups and downs along the way. But then finally getting that moment of, Hey, there it’s 20 years out, but there’s some hope here. Like I just, I applaud you and thank you because I think you’re such an example of persistence for myself and for our listeners. So yes. So tell us more about what happened.

Okay. Yeah. So basically what happened was that, um, so he started with and created actually this enzyme replacement therapy. And when Benjamin was, I’ve got to cut this short, but when then Benjamin was nine and a half, he almost died when they were seven and a half. So they were kind of predicting the right thing. Uh, we much pull them through it. And when he was nine and a half, the, um, algorism treatment was actually approved by FDA and was then approved in Europe. And then I thought that everything was lining up. I had done the reason why I know what supported the development of the medicine was because I had pushed it. So I thought now it’s, it’s easy, straight down. We’re going to get medicine just to say, to apply. And then it took six months and then they said, no, you’re not going to get treatment. It’s too expensive. And I was like, you’re kidding me. It’s too expensive. Anyway. So then I had to bring it up, you know, use the press, TV, ministers, the whole thing.

You’re amazing. I’m learning. This is so much fun for Nick. Cause I’m learning, like I’ve been able to work with you as a client for a few months now, but I didn’t know all this part of your story. I just, wow. Keep, keep going. I’m just, I’m so to be a movie, if there’s not one already,

So there’s a mix of things and this is, this is really taken me to why I do what I do today with women. But what I started to realize was that I, I had this ability to just go all in. And the funny thing is, I, it wasn’t even like with push and anger, it was just coming from this place that I know that this is going to happen. I know this is going to fall into place. And either you’re with me or you’re not with me, this is going to happen regardless. And I was never really personally kind of feeling hurt when a doctor or a specialist said something against, because there are plenty, believe me low is 99%. We’re always saying something against whatever I said about this treatment. But anyway, so we started treatment. It was super successful. Um, he is now 26.

He’s the oldest living in the world being treated only with this medicine. Um, and of course we began going through challenges. We almost lost him when he was, um, back in 2010. It was, um, two months in coma. And again, just to, just to share with you again, what happened was that decided to let him go. So the agreement was that Benjamin’s life should be worthy of living, not just being alive. So for him being hooked up on the machine was not, it was just not doing so I’m sitting in a conversation where the doctor would, the anesthetist is like, this is the final call. And, um, we agree that, so this was on the Wednesday and he said, you know, maybe we should do it on Friday. And I said, no, Tuesday, so this is, can you imagine this is so strange. Yeah. So what happens is I will say, okay, go through a process.

I know what’s going to happen, how he’s going to kind of what’s going to happen. Yeah. And then after that meeting, um, going back into, um, what Benjamin is laying in the bed with him and his doctor comes in and he is cheery and he says, I’ve heard the decision. I wish there was something we could do. I can’t understand it because you know, cancer patients, we’re doing a special stamp with a trachea and we usually sort out the problem. And I just said, what did you say? You said something about putting a tube in his breathing pipe. And then he said, no, no, no, don’t go there. No, no, no, no. This is a, there’s nothing to do. And I said, explain it to me once more and explain to me once more, I jumped out of bed on the computer. I send out an emergent emergency message to my global network.

I said, is there anyone out there in this world that have heard of any similar thing where they have problems with the breeding pipe and they’re putting a tube down in similar condition and then a jump back to bed, um, on the Saturday at two specialists in the world, one in the U S and one in England, ending up with Donald where the treatment from the British doctor, Dr. Michael rolled around, he comes over, paying the bill, taking Ben, Benjamin into theater, doing an experimental surgery on this breathing pipe, never been done before we got Benjamin back then shipped off to Manchester, do a spinal cord repair.

And he’s back. And I’m sharing this because it’s the power of network. It’s the power of sharing is the power of asking, ask, you know, we say, ask and it’s given, ask, ask your friends, ask whatever. Why? Why was I scared of, well, I might sound stupid. Like it was so easy for me in that situation to maybe have thought is true. He, that doctor is right. It’s time to let go. Who am I to ask blindly? I didn’t even know. I just, so that is so, so so many things have happened. And what I came to realize Elise, is that I spoke up, I shared some crazy ideas around the table. I had no medical background and my crazy ideas has helped save so many lives. And I decided that what I going to do is to help other women to bring their ideas, regardless how crazy these ideas might be to help them bring them to the table. Because who says that the person says this is a stupid idea, but that person sits with all the brain. No, I always say, don’t let other people’s limiting beliefs become your limiting beliefs. You just bigger than they are the person you go out and you do your thing. Yes. And that’s why I’m here. And that’s why I created sustainability. Oh my

Gosh, read it. I’m literally crying. So I should’ve worn waterproof mascara today, but there’s a great, there’s a quote. And I forget who said it was it. I don’t know, but it was somebody who said stop. It was like, don’t let people who say it, can’t be done. Get in the way of those doing it. And it’s like that your story. Oh my gosh. Because I, yeah, I don’t even know where to begin with, but it is, um, it is such a model and such an inspiration for anyone, man, woman, I don’t care, um, who has a vision. And I know you’re so big on vision too, and you’re amazing visualizer. Like that’s one of the things I really admire about you. Um, but who has a vision? Like you can bring it into form. And this is where we talk about being attached to the what but not the how.

And I heard in your story, that certainty of this is happening. I don’t care. You can be with me or without me, but this is happening and I’m going to keep going until I find a way. And because, I mean, that is how things change. That is you are an innovator, you’re a disruptor. And you know, I think about you and Benjamin it’s like, you guys are these angels that are here to change the world and save these lives and change lives of other families who may not have had that, that thought that they could push back, that they could think for themselves, that they could make that change. And so, so tell us about, yes. So with Xi standability, you’re, you’re modeling this for your clients. Tell us more about what she’s standability is all about to you.

Yes. So it’s interesting. Um, so few years ago, um, I was working with my coach who I’ve been working with for many years. And it’s amazing how many insights that came up. It still comes up a lot of insights that we can we make, but I was in this conversation and I was, I was sharing something about the importance of using, uh, both the masculine and the feminine energy in order to create sustainable solutions, because we’re so out there with one it’s such a hip work. And I think it’s almost create this distance. Like, what is that sustainability thing? And it’s, you know, the United nations goals and all these things, but I was, I was feeling that, okay. So if you really want to become a sustainable person, which is balance and wellbeing, we need to master the balance of the masculine and the feminine.

And in this conversation, I just said like, she’s standability. And she said, what did you say? I was like, oh, I have a new word. It’s, she’s staying inability. So she’s spent inability is a representation of when you’re starting, you, you do the, in the work with yourself, you create self-awareness, you understand your purpose, your why you, you understand the importance of training and mindset. Then you’re moving on to moving into intuition, which is about really slowing down and listening to your body and then moving into the space of, uh, uh, creativity. Because when you have like, self-awareness listened to yourself, now the creativity shows up and you start on the stand, your zone of genius, you’re in your zone of genius. And then you can step out of your comfort zone because when you’re in your zone of genius, you know, your why your, what you feel inspired to take on challenges that might feel overwhelming and big, but you just feel so inspired.

So that’s the inner part, and she’s saying ability, but the result of that is naturally the outer part, which is connecting with other people, collaborating with other people. And what happens when you’re connecting, you collaborate. Now you get together and you innovate, you innovate and the coming solution that we have never seen before. And then as a result of that, you have a sense of fulfillment and joy, which is the sustainable lifestyle. I call it now and sustainable lifestyle, which is wellness and balance. So that is, so that is the sustainability model. So I’m taking clients through the inner work and then with most of the minds, taking them into the outer work, because that’s where they’re connecting with others. That’s where they are collaborating, which can lead them to innovation and something bigger. Yeah.

And, you know, I love that. And I’m reminded of one of our conversations. I think it was last week, we were talking on Marco polo about almost like the birthing process of a new idea. And one of the limiting beliefs that I think we can have in a more, if we are coming from a more masculine energy background is that if I’m not producing X amount, every single calendar month, and if I’m not constantly creating something new and pushing out something new, then I’m I’m wrong. And you gave the example that I think you got from your coach, you mentioned on here of, of, of the womb, right. And creation and birthing a baby. And can you share a little bit about that analogy? Because I think for anyone listening, it’s so helpful to think about actually we can create powerfully in other ways, too.

Absolutely. So this is interesting. So I was in the conversation with my coach and I’ve been working with him for five years. I’ve had multiple coaches, she’s one of them. And we were talking about this the most, the mine that, you know, we are working on. Um, and I felt that I it’s so easy for me to create something and in the middle of creating it, I’m already onto the next thing. And then the next thing and the next thing, and then suddenly there was, Ooh, now I’m feeling overwhelmed. Now the word busy shows up and the word busy is something that makes me feel, I can’t really breathe properly. So as we’re working in the space of being feminine, we have working like that. We not working 24 hour a day when I’m working like this week in the same way as, as a masculine.

So, so she tells me, Rena, what, what is it that you are creating right now? And I was sharing about the mosque, the mine, and this big vision. And she said, what if you thinking about this as a cycle of, uh, carrying a child, um, it’s nine months. And the only thing you are going to do is to focus on that. Nothing else, you can stay healthy for it. You’re going to read inspiring literature about it. You’re going to let, the only thing you’re going to think about is, you know, bringing this life of a mastermind. And I was like, thank you so much because that’s exactly what I needed to hear and is like, and that is, that is what I’m doing. And it’s so powerful. I

Love it. I love that. How can women give themselves permission if they’ve, if they’re coming from such a masculine way of thinking, and again, we want both, like, I’m a, I’m a huge fan of integrating both. We have to have both, but how, if, if they’re leaning more in the masculine right now, how can they give themselves permission to create more, that way to lean more into the feminine, perhaps that long, that incubation period, that more focused incubation period to bring forth greater life in the world. How do we shift out of like the sherds with, I should be pushing, I should be doing something new to give ourselves permission to create

That way. Yeah. I think very often when I do talk to clients about this, I am very vocal about, um, the cycle. There are periods, um, asking them very quickly to go in and just get really reacquainted with our body for that month. It see how it shows up and see when they’re, when do they feel that they are the doer, the one to go out and execute. And when in the cycle they feel that they just want to be, they just want to be at peace. I want to be in balance. I want to be whatever that is. So the first thing I do is to, to, um, to work with my clients so they can discover it for themselves because it doesn’t matter what I’m saying. And I can ask questions and say things, but when they’re starting to see that there are times of the month where they’re really good at executing, but there are other times where it’s surprising how they’re leaning into this being, which is in the space of receiving.

And now this happens every time and they discover that the underutilized time is in the feminine. Hmm. Yeah, because that is when they’re feeling the emotions a bit unsettled. Yes. They’re a bit like they are feeling it’s spaced out there. Like they dealt with doing other things. They’re thinking other things, but it’s like, they just want to get back to the masculine of doing, because they’re operating in, in, in the corporate world or whatever world that is. So they are ignoring it. They trying to squeeze themselves back into doing so they don’t really know the magic of in this feminine space where they are spaced out and a bit creativity shows up. So when they’re leaning into that and starting to say, Hey, you know what? This is really interesting. When I gave myself the permission to just slow down and not execute, I was listening to my body. I have a big insight. And I realized that I could solve a situation completely differently compared to when I was pushing it, do do do so in that the power of that release is that suddenly she under she feel what it means to receive because that, you know, we sit and we receive insight, we receive opportunities, solution, and possibilities. And now they say, I want more of that, but I need to take them through it because even the word femininity, 10 minutes, it’s like, don’t go there.

Oh yeah. It’s almost a dirty word. It’s horrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hmm. So

Then is a way what’d, y’all got permission giving themselves the permission by feeling it first and discovering it, and then they see it. I think

That’s so important because it has to be an embodied experience to really understand it. I know, I, I think I, I heard when I was in corporate or then even several years after, as I was running my own business, I was still very much in that mode. And I would hear people talk about this and I’d be like, like, who has time for that? You know, who has time to feel? I’ve got to focus on revenue bottom line. And, you know, I think for many of us, we reach a point and sometimes it’s a crisis or sometimes it’s just, uh, a moment of I’m not available. You see someone else doing what you want and having what you want, but not being in that place of stress and busy-ness and doing all the time. And it’s like, wait, you see that enough. And you realize maybe, maybe there’s a different way to do it.

And then when you really learn what you’re sharing here and have that embodied experience of learning how to use both the masculine doing and the feminine, the receding, then you’re like, oh my gosh, where’s this been like, how did I not know about this? Which I think is part of what’s so powerful about sustainability is that you’re helping women for many of them, very likely encounter this information for the first time and learn to fall back in love with themselves and reconnect with themselves and then go on to create a birth their, their, their most beautiful work yet. So tell us about, um, cause this is, this is profound and I would keep you on for hours, but I also want to be it’s later where you are and I want to be mindful of your time. So read it. Where can women go if they want to find out more about she standability and how to get involved with what you’re doing?

Yeah. So basically the, the first place to go to get to know me is actually to just use LinkedIn. That is, that is my platform. I’m also on Instagram, but LinkedIn is the place I really love connecting. And a lot of my clients have time with air and I find that as a beautiful place. So that is a reefer host map, LinkedIn. But of course you can also go to sustainability.com, uh, and find details there. And I love connection. I am such a connector myself. I love building strong networks. So anything, I would really invite anyone to just make contact because it’s so powerful. And I just want to share one little thing on that. Talk about, um, you know, Benjamin. Yes, couple of days ago, I received a message from a 30 year old man in India who has been following me on LinkedIn.

And he said, we just got the diagnosis of our son he’s 14 months. And I knew that you have been showing up in this space and be able to voice message him and say, you know, I’m here for you. We’re going to figure it out because we’re talking about medicine and that cost like $500,000 a year. Wow. So being an NBA, it’s, you know, it’s, it’s difficult. However, we’re going to figure that out. This is why I’m sharing with your guests and your listeners connect because it saves lives. It saved my son’s life. You never know connecting with, with me or somebody else. But that mean for me and for, for you and for others.

Oh my gosh, Rita, I am literally moved to tears by you today. I’m so grateful for you, what would be, and definitely for everyone listening connect with Rita on LinkedIn, she does amazing lives. And you just, you want to soak up more of this energy and her wisdom. Um, what would be one final question? And then we’ll, we’ll conclude what would be your, if you had one piece of advice for a woman who was struggling with self doubt and not trusting herself right now on her path to growing her business or sales and creating her better life, what would your advice be to her?

My advice would be first to lean in and identify what she knows to be true about herself. So if you discover as an example that I always get engaged in things that I love, you know, for a fact is a truth that nobody can take away from you, that you getting engaged and that feeling makes you do and feel in a certain way. So when we talk about people who are struggling or lack of self-confidence is a lack of trust in themselves. So we need to establish a central piece of what you know, to be true. And if you know that you’re getting engaged and you feel it and it’s inspiring, lean into, and then I’ll ask yourself, where can I engage more to get this energy back in my body? Because when I have this energy in my body, I become more confident. And I do things that I usually do not do when I’m feeling really down. Yes. So that is what I would say.

Amazing, amazing. And I love that of using your body as a tool and a guide and falling deeper in love with that connection with your body. And that is such a feminine and she’s, seasonability way of doing it, which is beautiful. So Rita from my, the bottom of my heart to yours, thank you so much for showing up today for being here. I have been so inspired by you. I know that all of our listeners have as well, and you were just a beautiful soul and a beautiful human being. And thank you for everything you do.

Thank you so much for having me.

Well, everyone go connect with Rita, go check out she’s standability, checkout Rita’s lives. And just use this example today as a model that when you don’t give up and when you’re committed to an outcome and you think for yourself and you don’t take no for an answer that you can literally change, not just your world, but the world. So connect with Rita B. I hope you’re as inspired by her as I am today. And we will see you next week for our next episode of she sells radio bye for now.