Recent Podcast Episodes

on demand access

Your First
Six Figures

Are you ready to say yes to your financial uplevel without grinding or hustling your way there?

get instant access
Play Video about She Sells Radio Episode 137 Confidence in Sales

7 Ways to Grow Your Confidence in Sales


At the root of it all, sales and success strategies all come down to confidence. Confidence leads not only to productivity, but also a healthy growth mindset as well. But confidence isn’t always easy to maintain. Negative thoughts and limiting beliefs can haunt us and definitely hold us back. So join me for this episode about how we can build more confidence in sales.


For this episode, I highly recommend jotting down your takeaways or bookmarking the episode to come back to later. Let this episode be a reminder of the ways you can stay in control of your thoughts and confidence even when your brain throws in that negativity.


Show Notes:

[1:35] – At the root of it all, strategies come down to confidence.

[2:47] – Start asking better questions. Rephrase how you ask yourself questions.

[4:25] – Are you arguing for your limitations or your greatness?

[5:52] – Celebrate your small wins.

[6:56] – You have to make it about the journey and not the destination.

[8:39] – Keep a journal of all of your wins, especially if you feel any sort of distance from your goals.

[9:20] – Put your pride into the things you can control.

[10:58] – Elyse sets up incentives for herself that help her celebrate small wins.

[13:19] – Keep a list of positive feedback for your review.

[14:46] – Take credit for the good things that happen and not just the negative things.

[16:42] – Celebrate how you show up for your clients and how you have overcome limitations.

[17:32] – Keep your environment positive, including the people you are surrounded by and your physical space.

[19:50] – There are ways to navigate relationship changes as you level up.

[21:29] – Create your own professional and personal development curriculum and set aside time for your own studies.

[24:09] – Making time for personal development and growth is crucial.

[24:40] – Compare down. Elyse explains what this means.

[26:08] – Give yourself credit for every experience along the way in your growth.

[27:38] – Share your biggest “ah-ha” moment with Eylse on social media.

Links and Resources:

Instagram  |  LinkedIn  |  YouTube

She Sells with Elyse Archer Home Page


Speaker 1: (00:02)
Welcome to she sales radio. I am so excited to bring you this solo episode today on how to grow your confidence in sales. And this was really inspired because over the past few weeks I’ve been putting on a lot more, I would say tactical strategic sales trainings for the members of my community, but it was really interesting because we were doing one last week about closing and going through tactics and going through. And I don’t even like the word tactics. I like to saying more strategy, but what one of the women said, which is so true is she was like, it really just keeps coming back to confidence. And I was like, yeah, at the root of it, it really does. And this is why I say this all the time to my community. And, and it’s part of why I’ve created the she sales process, the way that I have, where we start with the inner work, because you can take the best, you know, sales script in the world, the best sales process in the world.

Speaker 1: (01:00)
But if you take that and you layer that on top of a, a foundation of insecurity and crippling self-doubt and limiting beliefs around worthiness, it won’t matter. It’s not gonna move the needle for you in the way that it really could. So I wanted to take a moment today to just pop on and share with you. I’ve got seven things that in my own life have really helped me make huge difference in confidence. Cause I used to struggle a lot in this area and you can apply these today to grow your sales, to grow your service, to grow your impact. And, um, I want you, this is a really good one to take notes on and come back to again and again as well because, uh, there’s, there’s gonna be probably some homework for you out of this, but all good things and all things that are gonna help a lot.

Speaker 1: (01:47)
So the first one is I want you to start asking better questions and if your brain goes to, why me, why would they work with me? Um, or telling you any sort of stories about why you’re not gonna be successful in your goal. I want you to start asking why not me and why am I the best person to help this person? I remember when I was first like really upleveling my prices and I was kind of like, Ooh, can I, can I charge that much for what I’m doing? And it’s, it feels very natural and normal now. But one of my mentors had me go and write a list of all the re why I was the right coach and mentor for, for those clients that I was serving at that very high level. And it was a big shift because my brain had been saying all the reasons why I didn’t feel qualified, but your brain will, it will lie to you all day long.

Speaker 1: (02:42)
it really will. It will. It will give you, it will deliver to you thoughts that are designed to keep you really kind of where you are right now, cuz that’s how it views safety. So we’ve gotta learn to manage our thoughts and we’ve gotta learn to ask better questions. So why not me? Why couldn’t I deliver this amazing result? Well, I would actually shift the question to say, why am I gonna deliver such amazing results for my clients? And just look at, are you arguing for your greatness or are you arguing for your limitations? Like really look at that. Are you arguing for your greatness or are you arguing for your limitations because, and this is why we do so much work on limiting beliefs in this community because your brain will argue for your limitations all day long, but you’ve gotta be bigger than it and realize that there’s no one coming to tell you that you’re good enough worthy enough, qualified enough, et cetera.

Speaker 1: (03:39)
So if you keep waiting for that day for someone to come and give you permission to really be great, the person you’re waiting on is yourself. And, and my experience of that has been, it’s just a decision. Like it is truly just a decision that I am now going to become so conscious of my thoughts and so conscious a chatter in my head and notice when my brain starts arguing for my limitations and I’m gonna shift it, I’m gonna shift it in this moment to arguing for my greatness. Of course I’m qualified. Of course, I’m the best person to do this. Of course I’m worthy of making a million dollars. Right? Of course, I’ve got a great closing rate. Of course every customer wants to work with. And just notice when you say that, how much better you feel in your body and how much more empowered you feel in your body and when your body feels that way, it’s its way of telling you, oh, you’re actually finally speaking truth over me.

Speaker 1: (04:34)
Like finally, we’re kind of moving out from this, this really yucky, like shaky foundation of self doubt and moving into an energy that will create your goals. So that’s the first one is ask better questions. My friend, the second thing that you can do to grow your confidence in sales is celebrate the small wins. Celebrate the small wins. You know, I was, I was working with a, um, client in one of my higher level group programs on Friday, a few days ago and we were doing a, I’ve got a private client intensive included with that program. And we were talking about how for most of her life she’s been very focused on the destination. I so just check in with yourself and notice do, do you do this? And, and her thinking had been, I will relax when I’m here. I’ll feel better when I’m here.

Speaker 1: (05:27)
And she realized the destination kept getting pushed out because that’s how it works. Right? You achieve the goal, you have a moment of celebration and then you’re, you’re onto the next thing. And there’s nothing more wrong with that. That’s how you’re wired. You’re wired for continual expansion and improvement, but we have to remember that if we make it about the destination, the destination’s never really there, right? It’s it’s it really, it sounds like a postcard, but it’s true. You really have to make it about the journey and about celebrating the small wins along the way. And so confidence at the end of the day is it really stems. It stems from a number of things, but one of them is keeping your prom. This is to yourself. So I would look at every single day, I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s easy to get to the end of the day and think about all the things that didn’t happen that I had intended to do that I had put on some ridiculously unreasonable to-do list.

Speaker 1: (06:32)
I, I don’t really use to-do list. I use my calendar, but it’s, it’s the same thing. It’s like all the thing. I can’t think of a day where everything happened in my calendar that I had put on it. Like I really can’t and it’s it’s if we make it about that, if we make it about, I will only feel confident or successful when everything that was on my list got accomplished. Um, number one, you’re gonna be chasing you’re chasing something that’s really not attainable. And your brain will tend to go to all the things you didn’t do or all the things that didn’t happen. So what can you celebrate every day that did happen or that you did accomplish, you know, whether it’s making the bed, whether it’s you did your outreach, you did your sales that day. Maybe nothing came in from it yet.

Speaker 1: (07:20)
But guess what? My friend you’re planting seeds for tomorrow, for next week, like you’re literally creating your future today. So did you plant seeds for a powerful future today and celebrate that, um, keep a journal of your winds. This is something that I, I don’t do it every day, but I do it periodically and it actually would probably be a great thing to do every day. So I’m gonna encourage you to, to do it daily, but you know, if you find yourself feeling any amount of distance from your goal, I wanna invite you to really look at what you’ve already done and keep that journal of wins. And every day when you’re doing your morning journaling, you know, what am I proud of myself for? What did I accomplish yesterday? You could do this at the end of the day for the same day, too, in your evening journaling.

Speaker 1: (08:10)
Um, but celebrate along the way, which ties into the third way to grow your confidence in sales, which is to put what your pride and what you can control. Look at the parts of your sales process that you can control. So there are certain parts of the process that we just can’t, right. We can’t 100% control if someone says yes to us or not, we can’t when hundred percent control when someone pays now, there’s, there’s different things we can do to help with at, and that’s part of continuing to up level, your skill set and your systems. And of course always working on your own energy and being in alignment with your goals. But I would really, I used to work with an organization that would talk a lot about this. And I do really believe in this, like put your pride in the controllables.

Speaker 1: (08:58)
They would say, put your pride in your activity. And I, I would, um, I always talk about activity as aligned activity. So it’s not that hustling, pushing, forcing activity, but it’s taking that act action from a place of alignment with your goals, which is pharma or powerful action. But you can say it that way, like put your pride in your activity and give yourself small victories, little things you can celebrate every day that you did. And I still do, you know, I’ve got, um, a team now and I’ve got different people helping me with various aspects of the business, but I still do sales outreach, um, especially for higher, higher level opportunities. Like that’s really something that I enjoy doing, but sometimes I gotta give myself a reward for it. You know, sometimes it can feel a little like, oh, okay, like I’m gonna roll up the sleeves.

Speaker 1: (09:49)
I’m gonna send some emails, I’m gonna send some videos. I’m gonna send some DMS. But one of the things I do when it’s time to do that activity is I give myself an incentive and it’s a, just a little reward, whether it’s like when I’ve done X amount, like I know what my numbers are. So I know, okay. To hit my goal based on averages, I’m probably gonna need to do anywhere from, I don’t know, 10 50, a hundred outreaches, depending on what it is. I it’s like. Okay. When, when the days target is completed, I’m gonna celebrate with blank. You know, whether it’s, um, your favorite meal fr ordered in from a restaurant, whether it’s a bath at the end of the night, whether it’s buying yourself, flowers, lighting a candle. Wow. You do it. Just make it a little extra special, but put your pride in that.

Speaker 1: (10:39)
And one of the things that I used to train, um, some of my earlier, when I was doing more in, um, I still do a fair amount in corporate sales consulting, but I, there was a period of time where that was like everything I did. And I was working with a lot of sales reps who were younger in their career and they didn’t have that yet of like a lot of referrals coming in all the time to them. And so there’s a lot of outbound activity on their part. And one of the things that we would have them do that was just very simple, but made a big difference is know your sales process enough to be able to reverse engineer it and say, I know it takes me, you know, X of X number of sales presentations to close. I know it takes me X number of outreaches to book a sales presentation.

Speaker 1: (11:25)
So you, you reverse engineer the process. And then you say, you know, my average client deal is worth X. Or if you’re working on commission, I make X amount off my average client deal. And then you reverse sit and say, what’s how much activity, how much of that forward facing action is required to land one customer deal. And then you calculate how much you make off of every phone call or every email knowing that not everyone is gonna turn into a yes, but knowing that every time you do that, you’re literally, it’s like, if you break it down by the activity, you’re putting money in the bank every time you do it. And wouldn’t that be mot a little motivating to you, even if it was like 10 bucks, every time you send an email, I don’t know about you, but for me, especially when I was like first starting off, I was like, I can make a thousand some bucks today if I send a hundred emails.

Speaker 1: (12:14)
So I’m gonna, I’m gonna roll up my sleeves and get on it. So put your pride in the controllables. Number four, I want you to start keeping a list of positive feedback from customers for your review. And you know, whether it’s commentary on social media, people who you’ve impacted, whether it’s texts, you receive from your customers, telling you how, how much of an impact you’ve made in their lives, um, keep a folder somewhere. And that can be a, a digital folder on your computer, or it can be a physical folder of emails you print out. And I want you to go back and read that of again and again and again, and this is especially a powerful thing to read before you start doing any sort of prospecting activity. Maybe before you go into client delivery, if you’re a coach, maybe you’ve got coaching calls, you’re doing that day.

Speaker 1: (13:06)
And you just wanna remind yourself of what an impact you make in people’s lives. And this is another conversation I was having with a client this past week. And she shared something that I think a lot of us can relate to where she said, you know, I’m very quick to kind of take responsibility or take the blame. If things don’t go right, like I’ll, and then I’ll beat myself up about it. But I have a hard time accepting my positive of impact in people’s results. I have a hard time like being in that spotlight of, yes, I did help create this. And so it’s, I want you to start looking at taking credit for the positive things that happen in your life. Because if you’re like most people, you probably take credit all day long for the negative. You’re like I could have done better.

Speaker 1: (13:55)
I should have done differently with that. And that’s well, we wanna learn and grow and we always wanna look at, okay, what can I do differently next time, we don’t wanna do it in the energy of beating ourselves up ever, because that’s not helpful to you, but then also you wanna look at what did I do, right. And how can of myself some credit for this and this isn’t anything you’re really gonna be doing publicly. Right? Like, especially if you’re leading a team, you know, this, when the, when something goes right, the credit always goes to the team. Um, any for your customers too, like, of course, like they’re in there too. They’re helping create the results in their lives. They’re helping create the transformation, but inwardly you can celebrate. Yeah. You know what? I helped with that. Yeah. My clients are having amazing results.

Speaker 1: (14:46)
Yes. Like thank you for this opportunity to serve in this way. Thank you for this opportunity to show up in this way. Um, I, I literally, the other day I was, I was driving and I was listening to some client Marco polo messages, which is the video messaging app I used for my, some of my clients and I was just listening to their wins. And it was, um, I had a moment of just literally like tears of gratitude for what was happening in their lives. And it was like, yes, thank you so much. And not any sort of like pride or ego, because the moment you get in that game, that’s not what I’m talking about here. That’s a slippery slope. It’s really a moment of gratitude to God, universe source, whatever your language is that such beautiful work is happening through you and through your life and through whatever you’ve created through your business or through your sales, you know, process, if you’re working for somebody else and just having so much gratitude and appreciation for, um, for that.

Speaker 1: (15:47)
But then, you know, celebrate yourself like celebrate how you do show up for your customers, celebrate how maybe you had to overcome some limiting beliefs. If you’re an entrepreneur, you had to overcome limiting beliefs to launch your business. And you really grew and stretched yourself and push yourself to put, to put yourself out there. And because of that, because you were willing to do that, people are literally changing their lives and change, and the world is changing as a result. So give yourself some credit, my friend, and, and keep that folder, that list of positive feedback, positive testimonials for your review. To remember that, to remember who you are and to remember the impact that you make, the fifth, the fifth thing you can do to grow your confidence in sales is I want you to keep your environment positive. And this is so important.

Speaker 1: (16:39)
And when I say environment, I mean everything from your friends, to your colleagues, to your home environment, you know, one of my mentors said this a while back and it was like, oh, I love this. Like clutter call costs you money, clutter costs you money. So with your home environment, is it like, is it high vibe? Are you keeping it clean? Are you keeping it beautiful? Is it a place where you feel lit up every day? Or do you need to make some shifts there? Does your wardrobe need to get cleaned out? Maybe, maybe there’s some stuff that’s just old. It’s dingy. It’s like you’re holding onto it because whatever, you’ve got some old emotional attachment to it, or you don’t think you’re gonna make more money to get better clothes for yourself more can’t come in until you release. What’s not in alignment anymore.

Speaker 1: (17:31)
So your environment is everything. Um, we, we recently, this is like a little thing, but we put in a, um, a better sound system in our home because I had this vision of just like very high vibe, very soft, but beautiful music playing throughout the house all day long to help me stay high vibe, to help my family cuz my husband and my son are home together. Most of the day, like to help all of us just be in that better environment. We’re putting in a, um, just a little area in the living room. That’s gonna have a fountain. It’s gonna have, um, some beautiful play. And it’s really just about creating this energy, this beautiful energy that makes you feel good. That makes you feel uplifted. That makes you feel grateful and positive because that does matter a lot. And then going back to the people in your life, being your environment, you know who it’s never about making someone wrong, right?

Speaker 1: (18:33)
Cuz everyone’s on their own journey. But one of the things that happens, I see often for the members of this community is that when you, like, when you step into this and you get in one of our programs and you start really going for it, you experience a lot of shifts, pretty fast. The people that maybe you used to spend time with, you used to get advice from some of them, not all of them, but some of them suddenly you’re like, it just doesn’t feel, it doesn’t feel an alignment anymore with where I’m going. And so there are ways that we can very gracefully and lovingly navigate that, but we’ve gotta make some decision about who do I wanna spend time with. And that’s part of, you know, we were on one of the 10 K club group calls this past week talking about the power of that community.

Speaker 1: (19:21)
I think that’s part of the power of being in a community, whether it’s mine, whether it’s somebody else’s like, you gotta pick what feels right for you, but being in community with other people who are really going for it and who are like-minded, it’s so important it’s so what do they say? Your tribe affects your vibe, right? Like it’s, it is true. So keep your environment positive and keep it in alignment with where you’re going with, who you are and where you’re going. Uh, if you wanna grow your comp confide in sales, number six, study study, whatever that like, whatever the skillset is for you, that you wanna grow, that you need to grow to improve, um, to improve where you’re going, like spend some time every morning studying. And, and for me spend time for me, it’s, it’s usually mindset. Like I spend time every single day in the morning studying something mindset related.

Speaker 1: (20:17)
And for me it’s, it’s either, you know, something related to it’s maybe one of Jo, excuse me, Joda Ben’s programs or it’s um, you know, a Bob Proctor training or something on to a laws. Like I spend time every morning getting plugged in to source my higher power. Um, but just re anchoring into those truths, those powerful truths, and then studying too, like make your own personal development curriculum. So if there are certain skill sets that are gonna be required for you to make a million dollars this year or do whatever your goal is, like, what are the skills you need? And then really just hone in on your study time for those things. So, so it to kind of sum that up, it’s like your study time will probably be some mindset and then some tactical as well. And um, you know, I was talking to a client about this last week and she was like, I feel like I’m just in this learning loop where there’s so many things I could be paying attention to all the time.

Speaker 1: (21:22)
How do I focus it in? And my advice for her was a little bit different cuz she’s in a slightly in place than most of my clients. I actually encourage her just to stop for about three weeks and study herself which is by the way, if you’ve been stuck in the personal development loop for a long time, a very powerful exercise to do. But for a lot of people, what I would say is make your own personal development curriculum and say, I know there’s like I could, you could spend your whole life just going down a Google rabbit hole of how to do this and how to do that. And yada, yada get very specific and very focused on what is this season about what is this season of my life about? And if you’re like, if you’re working with a mentor, I really encourage you go all in on their stuff.

Speaker 1: (22:07)
Like this is how I would work. When I work with certain with mentors, it’s like, I’m gonna study you. I’m gonna study your stuff. I know there’s a million ways that you can achieve a goal out there. But I hired this person cuz I wanna learn from them. So I’m gonna just cut out everything else. I’m gonna do a detox and I’m gonna learn from them. Maybe I need to learn in this season, I’ve got a number of clients who are launching consulting businesses right now. And there’s a certain book in the consulting world that I’m having them study because it literally is the nuts and bolts of how to launch that consulting business. So it’s like we can study everything else down the road. We can study, you know how to launch your podcast. We can study how to launch a YouTube channel, all those things down the road.

Speaker 1: (22:48)
But right now we need to get the nuts and bolts of your consulting business in place. So read this one book. So make that curriculum for yourself based on what you need to learn in that moment, learn it, master it and then move on to the next thing. Like that’s it. But that morning time, that time of studying that time of personal improvement and growth is so important. It is so, so, so important to you. Um, cuz all the rest of the day, it’s like things are kind of coming at us. We can feel knocked about in the wind, right? If, if we’re not super intentional, but that morning time will help you get anchored. It will help you. If you’re connecting with source and your higher power during that, it will help you tap into a bigger power source throughout the day too. Remember how things really work?

Speaker 1: (23:35)
And it’s just so important. And then the second thing is to compare down, compare down that will help you with your confidence in sales. And here’s what I mean by that. We generally slash pretty much always will naturally compare ourselves to where we wanna be. So we’ll say I’ve got this goal and it’s here, but I’m all the way here, right? Or we’ll say we’ll compare ourselves to people we see on some, we’ll compare ourselves to people who are where we wanna be. And you’ll always feel less than if you do that and it’ll knock your confidence. So the switch on this is compared down. And I want you to think about where you are now versus where you were maybe a few years ago, even a few months ago. And just notice how far you’ve come. It is very possible that right now you are living your dream life from just a few years ago.

Speaker 1: (24:38)
And if you’re not you’re well on your way. And so we have to be, again, this comes back to monitoring thoughts and managing your thoughts, but you gotta be so conscious of where you give your energy and how you and your perspective on things. So make like take a moment now, even after this episode and, and just notice like where was I a few years ago and how is life different? And then going back to giving yourself some credit, give yourself the credit for that. Look at what you’ve done. Look at what you’ve achieved. Look at how you’ve stretched yourself, put yourself out there. Even if everything hasn’t gone exactly the way you wanted it to, what did you learn? Because in all those experiences you were just being prepared for where you’re going next. So who did you become along the way? Maybe you’re in a, a period right now of becoming like maybe you’re in a period that feels a little harder and it feels like, Ooh, like there’s, there’s some transformation going on in my life right now.

Speaker 1: (25:37)
And it feels icky and it feels uncomfortable. But let me notice how far I’ve come and let me acknowledge myself for that. And it will help you through that process really powerfully as well. So compare down and it’s gonna help you. It’s gonna help make a big difference. So in summary number one, why not me? Right? Ask better questions. These are the seven ways to grow your confidence in your sales. Number one, ask better questions. Number two, celebrate the small wins. Number three, put your pride in what you can control. Number four, keep a list of positive testimonials and feedback for your review all throughout the day. Remember the impact that you’ve made in people’s lives and give yourself some credit for that. Number five, keep your environment positive. Number six study. Be very intentional about your study study and number seven, compare down. So I wanna know from you, what was the biggest aha for you?

Speaker 1: (26:39)
What was the biggest thing? The number one thing that you’re gonna take and start implementing right away and I would be so honored. And so just thrilled to see what that is. If you wanna take a screenshot of this episode, tag me on social media, let me know what your number one thing is that you’re gonna take away from this to grow your confidence. I’m at Elise Archer on all platforms. I wanna connect with you there. And I wanna hear from you again, what was that number? One thing that you’re taking from this episode that you’re going to use in your life to help you grow your confidence in your sales as always, I am so grateful for you. I am so thrilled that you are here listening to the podcast. I’m so thrilled. You’re part of the G sales community. And if there’s anything I can do to help serve you, you can always send me a DM again. I’m at El Archer on all social and I’m wishing you a beautiful, beautiful rest of your week. And I will see you next week on our next episode of shes radio.

Scroll to top