PATRIARCHY STRESS DISORDER WITH DR. VALERIE REIN
After reading the book Patriarchy Stress Disorder by Dr. Valerie Rein, so much in my life made sense that had never made sense before. Things just clicked and the experience was truly transformational. And specifically in business, so much of what I saw in sales wasn’t designed with women in mind. With that knowledge, I recently shared a quote during a retreat from the book and it shifted the entire retreat and the lives of the women there. It resonated strongly with every attendee and I knew I needed to chat with Dr. Valerie Rein.
Dr. Valerie Rein is a psychologist, women’s mental health expert, and business consultant who has discovered Patriarchy Stress Disorder (PSD) and created the only science-backed system for helping women achieve their ultimate success, happiness, and fulfillment by healing the intergenerational trauma of oppression. She holds an EdM in Psychological Counseling from Columbia University and a PhD in Psychology from the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology. Her bestselling book, “Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women’s Happiness and Fulfillment” has been heralded by Amazon reviewers as “the most important body of literary work of our modern times” and “perhaps the most important book of the century for women.” Dr. Valerie is most passionate about the intersections of deep inner work and business. She is a sought-after speaker at conferences and companies committed to diversity and inclusion, leadership development, and unlocking people’s full potential.
In today’s powerful conversation, Dr. Valerie shares her background and how she came to discover Patriarchy Stress Disorder. She describes studies that prove through science that there is more to it than “just stress,” and through these scientific breakthroughs, she shares what can be done. The icing on the cake is that through this work, Dr. Valerie shares that every aspect of her life is better than anything she could have even previously imagined and it be that way for you, too.
[3:21] – Dr. Valerie’s personal development journey started early and was guided by the question, “What’s wrong with me?”
[5:01] – She was living the life of her dreams, but she kept getting a message that there was something different for her.
[6:04] – In addition to working in her private practice, she was pouring everything she was earning into a new business. No matter how hard she worked, nothing changed.
[7:01] – Dr. Valerie wound up in the hospital with symptoms of a stroke, but was determined to be “just stress.”
[8:04] – Despite years of therapy and personal development, Dr. Valerie could not crack the invisible wall.
[9:01] – For thousands of years, women were oppressed and Dr. Valerie discovered how trauma response can be inherited.
[10:27] – Our subconscious still recognizes success and wealth as unsafe.
[12:14] – Once Dr. Valerie understood what the problem was, she was able to take her new business from no money to six figures in a year.
[14:40] – What is the Cherry Blossom study from her book.
[16:14] – This study demonstrates how trauma response is transmitted through genetics.
[17:26] – Through her work, you can rewire your subconscious and trauma adaptations.
[18:53] – There were many trauma adaptations that Dr. Valerie was experiencing and holding her back but she had no idea they were there.
[20:21] – Currently, every aspect of her life has overshot her limited imagination.
[23:16] – Through the healing journey, you can create your life from a place of alignment.
[24:46] – “Prison guards” can come in the form of Imposter Syndrome, critical negative thoughts, and distractions.
[25:32] – Stress is created and driven by unprocessed trauma.
[28:02] – How much time do you spend on average engaged with your prison guards?
[30:35] – These issues are not character flaws. It is a part of us and not our fault.
[31:52] – We work so hard but more can be accomplished and with a lot more joy.
[33:14] – Elyse shares an experience that demonstrates how her brain held her back.
[35:10] – The theme of Dr. Valerie’s book takes readers from “How much can I tolerate?” to “How good can it get?”
[36:23] – There is a five step journey that Dr. Valerie describes.
[37:40] – Once we reclaim our time and energy, we can dig even deeper.
[39:49] – You can download the first chapter of her book for free, including the audiobook, on Dr. Valerie’s website.
[41:39] – Dr. Valerie shares what she is currently working on for herself, including her relationship with money.
Connect with Dr. Valerie Rein:
Links and Resources:
Speaker 1: (00:02)
Welcome to she sales radio today’s podcast is gonna be such a treat. I have to tell you, and it’s gonna expand both your mind with very high level sales skills, as well as just what I think is a super transformational story. That’s gonna inspire you and motivate you to really follow your heart and go for your biggest. And my guest today is someone who I’ve had the pleasure of working with, of coaching him and getting to know him. Also, it’s just an incredible human being, Ian Konyak. And I first met Ian when he was the number one rep for Salesforce, which if you’re not familiar with the company, I’m guessing you are, cuz you’re listening to the show. But if you’re not, it’s the number one CRM platform in the world. So being the top rep is kind of a big deal, a very big deal actually.
Speaker 1: (00:50)
And for a little more context on his sales, acumen and background, he’s been the number one rep in the companies he’s worked with for 19 years, with over a hundred million in sales at fortune 500 top tech companies. And as we started working together, we started coaching together a few years ago, um, really working on his personal brand. But along the way, I got to know his heart and his vision and our journey went deeper and I’ve just been blown away by what he’s done and by who he’s really become, um, over the past few years. And he’s now the founder of his own sales coaching company, which is just blowing up doing phenomenally he’s a family man has a beautiful family. Um, the most incredible wife, two wonderful sons and is just an all around incredible person. And I wanted to have him on today to talk both tactical sales strategy as well as to share his journey, which I think is gonna inspire and motivate you so much. So Ian, welcome to she sales radio. We’re so, so honored to have you.
Speaker 2: (01:50)
I am great. I’m very glad to be here. And this has been a long time coming. I’m glad we are able to make it happen.
Speaker 1: (01:56)
Ah, me too. Me too. Well, I would love as much as you’re comfortable sharing can share. I would love if you can share a little bit about your journey from, you know, when we first and we were working on your brand, but you’re still at Salesforce and I know you’ve been through this just powerful, personal transformation too, over the past few years. So share with us as much as you can about
Speaker 2: (02:16)
I almost where you’re I almost Terry, I just starting to talk about it because it’s, so I’m such a different person from when we started working together. So I’ll, I’ll give you the short version. Um, and, and we’ll go from there. I had been, I joined brand builders group in 2019 and I started working with you in March and then we stopped working together a year later. Okay. And the reason I joined brand builders group is I had been a top performer in, um, you know, at Salesforce, got to number one and learned some things fundamentally that a lot of people were not doing. And I felt like I needed to teach, um, people how to sell with integrity, how to sell with love, how to sell with purpose and in service as a, as a forefront, cuz all the tactics and you know, um, all the content being taught wasn’t necessarily about that.
Speaker 2: (03:06)
So I’m like I’m gonna infuse personal development into the industry of sales because that’s what people need to, to be the best sales people. So I join a, a group called brand builders group. And before that even happened, just, just to give some, the reason I wanted to create personal brand was because I got stuck upside down on a roller coaster and I was hanging there for 30 minutes and I thought I was gonna die. And during that, during that time hanging off a roller coaster, I prayed and I wasn’t necessarily a spiritual or religious person, but I prayed as hard as I ever had. And, and um, one of the, you know, things I prayed for what, what happened when you think you’re gonna die? Cuz it wasn’t a normal coaster. It wasn’t, you weren’t sitting up. I was hanging down. So all my weight was against this harness and I was staring 180 feet down to cement and I just thought the thing was gonna fall off. The harness was gonna break. It was, it was super intense. And the whole time I’m staring down thinking I’m gonna die. My life flashed before my eyes. It was really, um, a moment where I had a lot of regrets and it was a sign. It was a spiritual sign. It was a sign from God, cuz that morning I had been reading or listening to a podcast from an author called uh, Bonnie, uh, Bonnie, we who wrote the book, the five regrets of the dying.
Speaker 1: (04:19)
Oh I love that book.
Speaker 2: (04:20)
It was fantastic. And then I was stuck thinking I was gonna die. So I’m like, all I could think about was regret. And in that moment, the biggest regrets I had was that I was being selfish. I had been selfish my whole life. I had made my life about the pursuit of money and about material success and about ego. And I’m like, you know what? I need to start giving back. I need to start helping people. And if I don’t do this, I am going to, um, I would have tons of regret. I would’ve lived a life that wasn’t worthwhile. If I don’t use my gifts, that I was given to help and serve others. And I prayed and I prayed. And then I promised, I went from praying to get off of it, to promising God that I would, um, go ahead and, and start serving immediately. I didn’t know what it would look like. I didn’t know. It would be a business three years later or anything like that. But I said, I’m gonna start serving people immediately. And the minute I made that promise, I kid you not, the rollercoaster started going. So I’m like, okay,
Speaker 1: (05:14)
Gosh. So that
Speaker 2: (05:16)
Speaker 1: (05:16)
Time can’t imagine.
Speaker 2: (05:18)
Yeah. So that was like, okay, you know, some people need a little, a little shake, others need a jolt and a wake up call for me. That’s what I needed. And so I, from, from that day forward, I I’ve been committed to, to serving and, and I kid you, not that same day, I go home and out of the blue, my dog does so,
Speaker 1: (05:34)
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: (05:35)
It was like death was the theme December 28th, 2018. And that started me on this journey of wanting to help and serve others. And it started with, you know, just making videos and, you know, giving away my, my tips and tricks and thoughts. And um, anyway, brand builders was, was, this was this thing that I, um, the program that I joined, which, which I started working with you and what happened that year was, was, it was a terrible, terrible year in so many ways. So I’m, here’s, what’s going on. I’m, I’m working at Salesforce and I’m trying to build a personal brand. Okay. Well, all the, while I’m building a personal brand, I am struggling with addiction and my father was an alcoholic. He died, unfortunately, when, when I was only 20 years old, um, he, he overate, he had his stroke, um, just, just had a lot of addictions.
Speaker 2: (06:29)
And unfortunately, um, I thought I was immune to that. I always kind of repelled that and said, you know what, I, that’s not me. I’m gonna work through it. And all the while I would live really a double life is what was happening. So I know you know about this cause I opened up, but, um, I’m trying to build a brand. I’m trying to show people integrity and honesty and kindness. And yet all the, while this whole time I’m doing things that are fully out of integrity. So have some context. Um, I was getting drunk. I was taking Adderall. I was addicted to Adderall. I do have ADHD, but I, I relied on that. It was more to feel good than to really because I needed it. Yeah. Um, and, and most importantly, I was out of integrity with my marriage. Okay. And I was doing things that, you know, I, I thought were okay, frankly, because society, a lot of these things are accepted and to be more specific, I was viewing pornography.
Speaker 2: (07:24)
I was going to strip clubs. I was completely doing things that are allowed or legal in society, but fundamentally were out of integrity with my marriage. And why specifically do I share that? Well, because I got to a point where again, God, for out of the blue started telling me, I need to start opening up about these things to my wife, because I’m trying to be a coach. I’m trying to build a brand yet. I’m I have these dark secrets that yeah. Are happening. And so in February of 2020, right before the pandemic, um, I had a rock bottom. Okay. And I, and you may remember this and, and you may not, but the, the sad truth of it was I came clean to my wife and I shared some of the stuff, some of the stuff, not all the stuff, but some of the stuff I had been doing and she was pregnant at the time.
Speaker 2: (08:14)
Mm yeah. And she collapsed. And she started having contractions. She was full were months pregnant and she fully, um, unfortunately we thought she was gonna have a miscarriage cuz she was so traumatized by not knowing who she was married to. And I can say this story now and share it because it’s been so long. But during that time it was devastating. We had to rush to the doctor. We thought, I thought I was going to be responsible for killing my unborn son. And, and it was, it was a rock bottom. You hear about rock bottoms with, with addiction all the time. That was my rock bottom. And once again, I started praying and praying. I say, God, please I will make whatever changes I need to do not take this baby. Do not hurt my wife. And we get to the doctor and he puts the ultrasound on her, her stomach.
Speaker 2: (09:06)
And I thought it was the longest, like 10 seconds I’ve ever had in my life. But I thought there wasn’t gonna be a heartbeat. And the doctor looks up and he said, there’s a heartbeat. Thank God. I’m like, well, what’s going on, what’s happening? She’s having crap with this. Ian, these are stress contractions. You’ve, she’s been so stressed that her body is mimicking labor and you know, um, and I was like, okay, what do I gotta do? So that started my journey into recovery. And specifically I went into recovery for sex addiction, uh, porn sex. And it’s amazing how many men, um, struggle with this? I, I had never, oh, it’s huge. It’s it’s massive. I, no, there’s a every day there’s meetings on every hour of every day filled rooms though that I had no idea that this was such a problem. I thought it was just me.
Speaker 2: (09:51)
I thought it was my deepest, darkest secret. And I got a sponsor. I started going to therapy. Well, I that year. So I, I left you at that time. And I said, I can’t build my brand anymore. I have to take care of my family. I have to get healthy. Cuz my wife was on the verge of leaving me. In fact, she did leave me for about a week and she came back and that period of time I learned what true transformation was. I learned what true faith was. I found my, my greatest self. I, I learned what integrity meant and I’m very thrilled to say it’s been over two years and I, I, haven’t just not watched porn in two years, but I haven’t gotten drunk in two years. I haven’t smoked pot in two years. I’ve completely got off Adderall. I haven’t gambled.
Speaker 2: (10:35)
I’ve given up just one vice, but every major vice that I was plagued with my entire life. So it truly is a transformation story. And now, now I can truly be the coach, the leader from a place of integrity and honesty where instead of hypocrisy where I’m telling people one thing and then living a lie and doing stuff in the shadows. So that’s, that’s a, a shortened version of everything that’s happened in the past two years. And I, I swear this business is blessed and, and I know people need to hear the message, not just of how to sell, but how to sell in a true way, which, you know, frees you to, to be the, the man or the woman that your family needs, that your kids and, and to live the life of your dreams rather than just be focused on money, which is what I was gonna teach before all this stuff happens. So now the program has evolved in ways that I, I never could have dreamed would’ve happened.
Speaker 1: (11:30)
Wow. I just, I have chills. I have tears in my eyes. And I remember when you, you shared some of that stuff with me, like on a call. And I was like, this takes a lot of bravery and courage to open up about because so many people have something that’s a secret that’s hidden that they feel shame around and don’t feel confident enough to, to share it with others. And so it stays suppressed. And as you know, it, it fester right when we have that. And I just remember thinking, gosh, this is such a big moment. And to see, to see what you’ve gone on to do and to see, you know, your beautiful new sun, um, as well from that and your in the business you’ve built. It’s like it’s too so powerful. And, and I’m curious about this, cause I know in my own life, like there was definitely a period where I chased money because I was so empty inside and I was quote unquote successful. But on the inside was just struggling still with so many things. And for you, I, I feel like our journeys in some ways are similar, um, with that. And I’m just curious how it is for you now, as you know, as an entrepreneur leading your company, obviously you’re, you’re in charge of sales, but it’s like, it’s a different dynamic in relationship with the money. Right?
Speaker 2: (12:44)
So I was pre, I was praying about this this morning, cause I do do think my purpose is to share how to overcome vices and addictions. I truly do believe the world outside of sales needs to hear this message of a struggling addict. I mean, I was the definition of, you know, um, an addict in, in every way, not, not what you think of when you think of someone on the street, but what you think of like highly successful people that are addicted to work, but also like just char the time, like, yeah, there’s a lot of people like that. And it’s amazing how many share my story that are just like, hell no. I mean, even, even inside my close circle of friends, like I can name several that have done things that were similar that their wives don’t even know about. So fundamentally, fundamentally, um, this is a problem and I do think will be, you know, my mess will be my message more so than how to get to number one at sales.
Speaker 2: (13:41)
Now that being said, um, there is still part of me that is driven by money. There’s still very much part of me that wants to continue to have a dream lifestyle and build a, you know, very successful seven or eight figure business. And, and so I prayed about it this morning and I said, God, you know, please help me to, you know, to keep your will at the core of what I’m doing. Right. And, and, you know, brand builders talks about this, the Shehan wall and just the concept of starting with a group that, you know, and that you, you truly can serve and help. And for me, that sales people, because the bulk of what that I’m teaching is, is how to sell. But I’m also infusing mindset, habits and integrity. Yeah. Um, spirituality, things, things of that nature. Um, and, and, and to, to your question about money, I’m doing that first because I’ve been used to making a certain amount in a certain living.
Speaker 2: (14:33)
And I can’t just say, I’m gonna go do a Ted doc on porn addiction and you know, why I gave, gave it up or go talk about God and his will and, you know, becoming Christian and all the, all the things that I, that I really do feel like were empowering for, for the changes that I made. Those are not things that I feel like are the time yet for it will, it will be in time. Right. I know that will eventually happen when it’s supposed to happen. But I think fundamentally, you know, when you build a brand or you’re an entrepreneur, you need to figure out a business plan, you need to figure out a way that you’re gonna monetize. And I know clearly right in a now how I can monetize and help salespeople looking to get to the top. Cause that’s a huge, huge opportunity.
Speaker 2: (15:16)
And it’s one that still needs a lot of help. Now, what I’m trying to do is infuse spiritual principles into that. You know, that I love that really help salespeople with, I, I talk about morning routines and affirmations and prayer. And I talk about personal development exercise and, you know, authenticity and things that fundamentally are, are essential to success, um, which are also principles of spirituality and in the Bible. And a lot of the, the ways that we’re supposed to act in, in, in opposition, how we used to act, which is yeah. You know, inauthentic and, and trying to mirror and match people and trying to like just, you know, I would say, um, clothes hard and pressure and all that stuff that that’s the opposite of what, what good selling is. So fundamentally, I’m trying to infuse some of what I really want to teach into the program, but with, but without that now with, with the question of, um, you know, how does money play into it?
Speaker 2: (16:12)
It plays into it a lot, right? I have a business plan and I have a goal to, to sell seven figures this year. And I have an exact roadmap on how to get there. And I have a program that maps to that. And the reason I wanna do that is cuz money’s not bad. I don’t think money, fundamentally money is what’s allowed me to follow this dream. If I didn’t have any savings, if I didn’t have a way to pay my mortgage or the crazy bills that I have, I, I don’t believe I would have the, the, the strength, the courage to go and just drop what I was doing. Right. It’s because I built a nest egg that enabled me to be, become an entrepreneur. So does money by happiness. Absolutely not. Does money buy opportunity and give you, um, give you freedom and flexibility to go do things that can make you very happy.
Speaker 2: (16:56)
Absolutely. So I intend and plan to continue to make money, but it’s not my primary driver. Okay. My primary driver is fulfill a mission and purpose and why not be able to do that and make good money or great money doing it? You can have both. And that’s where P people like get tripped up as they think it has to be one or the other, but it doesn’t right. It doesn’t agree giving value to people. And if you’re helping you have every right to, um, charge for it accordingly, because that’s honestly what, what, um, what you deserve. You know, we’re not charities unless you want go start a charity, which great if you, if you wanna do that, but that’s, that’s not what I’m doing. So
Speaker 1: (17:34)
No, I’m, I’m so in alignment and I, I ask that too, cuz one of the things that we teach in the community and that I teach my clients is like this concept of when, when we have that emptiness inside of us, when we have that void and we’re trying to fill it with other things, we can try to fill it with money and you can make money. But for me, my experience was I was always in fear of it going away or I didn’t feel worthy of it or it was never enough. And it’s just, it’s just a shift when it’s like you do the inner work where you feel so whole, that the money is kind of more, a natural byproduct. It’s like, you already feel abundant. You feel whole, you feel good and the money is more just an byproduct.
Speaker 2: (18:10)
It’s almost like. Yeah. Okay. So what I tell people is focus on the process and not the prize. So you have to have faith and trust that the prize will come if you execute on the process every day. And that’s, and that’s my number one advice in sales too. It’s it’s, if you focus on doing the things that you know are going to lead to the outcomes you desire, then the outcomes are a byproduct. But if you’ve obsessed about the outcomes, then what happens is the emotions of fear and anxiety and stress will overtake you and then cortisol will flood your brain and you will naturally make poor decisions and act desperate and have commission breaths. So fundamentally I feel when I get myself thinking of that scarcity mindset versus the abundant mindset, I naturally, um, you know, I, I, I remember and I remind myself like the obstacle is the way. If you have faith, you are going to be successful there there’s actually, again, not to bring this back fully to spiritual, but there’s a, it,
Speaker 2: (19:10)
I love it. There’s a verse in the Bible today that I, that I read, I’m reading a book called the obstacles away by Ryan holiday. And it’s, it’s really stoicism, which, which I’ve been getting into more and more, but I am a Christian. Well, the, the, the, this is the, the scripture I read this morning in, in my app. It says, Jesus answered them most certainly. I tell you if you have faith and don’t, don’t doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but even if you told this mountain be taken up and cast into the sea, it would be done. Mm, okay. Wow. Matthew 2121. So what Jesus is talking about and what personal development is talking about and any, anything is, is when you fundamentally, we believe and have faith that the outcomes you desire will be there.
Speaker 2: (19:56)
You will find a way you will figure out how to get around the obstacles you will figure out and be resourceful enough to find the right people that will help you get there. And it is so true. It’s just like, I’m seeing it with my own business. And so that’s for me, like how I think of when I get caught up in the money. I just remember like it’s going to come. Yeah. Focus on the purpose. Focus on service, focus on being abundant and loving. I say my affirmation again. I remind myself of why I’m doing what I’m doing. And I just focus on the process. And every time I’ve done that, you know, I’ve been rewarded. Money is come. And, and, and so I just have to continue to have faith that I will be taking care of that that God will take care of me if I’m doing the right thing. And coming from a place of, you know, good intention is, is the key, right? And, and that’s how I think entrepreneurs, if they focus there and they really focus on building a great product or providing a great service or truly helping people, they will be rewarded financially. But when you make the financial, the goal, then we lose sight of all the, the values and the mission that are ultimately, what’s going to attract people to, to wanna work with you. Ah,
Speaker 1: (21:03)
It’s so good. It’s so good. Oh my, I wanna ask you too, in your journey, because I think a lot of, you know, we, we’ve got a mixed audience. We have sales professionals, we have sales leaders, we have CEOs, we have entrepreneurs, but I know when, like for you, in, in part of your journey, like when you were like, I wanna go, but I’m making great money at Salesforce, blah, blah, blah. Like it, it is stepping out, out in faith, right? In many ways.
Speaker 2: (21:28)
It really, it really is. And you always told me, you always told me, but go, go ahead.
Speaker 1: (21:32)
You’ll make more about it. You told me that, but you hadn’t seen that yet. And that was like, so it does require faith, but I think I would love to know your perspective on both from the standpoint of the business success you’ve experienced since making that leap, as well as just the personal transformation that you’ve made. What have you learned about human potential in the past few years that maybe has surprised you or you didn’t think before?
Speaker 2: (22:00)
I think, um, ed Mylet has a great clip on that. And, and it’s called your, your internal thermostat. It’s about a three minute clip, but you talk about, we all, I don’t know if you’ve seen that one before.
Speaker 1: (22:10)
I love this. I it’s been a while. So I love that.
Speaker 2: (22:12)
Yeah. It talks about the concept that we all are. Governor, we have a governor in our, in our own minds, um, which he says is, is like a thermostat. And, and the governor, you can be a 75 degree or, and that’s the w which you operate, you know, that’s the level in which you operate. So if 75 degree or represents making a hundred thousand dollars, then that to you becomes your norm. And if you get to, you know, a pace that’s higher, sometimes you’ll self sabotage. And if you get to a pace that’s lower, then you’ll step it up. But you’re always kind of comfortable in that 75. It really is your comfort zone, so to speak. Okay. And he says, you know, everyone has that type of governor, but once you break through across the chasm, then your thermostat becomes higher and you see what’s possible.
Speaker 2: (23:03)
So fundamentally, you know what you’re talking about, the power of, um, belief and, and, and human potential. And I, I say couple pieces of advice. Number one is anything’s possible. Anything truly is possible. So just to give you context, the fact that I was able to break a bunch of these addictions, I’m running a marathon this year at 43, oh that’s years old, my business will do seven figures. It will do seven figures. And it’s first year as a solo, pretty newer. Anything is possible. If I can do it, you can do it now. What’s the key. What’s the difference? Okay. Number one is the thermostat for me has been raised because of the people I surround myself with. So when I got in the coaching business, I found, I didn’t find the average coach. The average coach makes $84,000 a year, the business. Oh, I didn’t know that, that would’ve been a 10th of what I was doing before.
Speaker 2: (23:52)
Yeah, right. So fundamentally I was scared. Cause I was looking at all these average figures, that’s what people do. What is the average, this person, what is the average, that person, what is the average rep make? You know, that’s. So yeah, fundamentally, okay. You have to find not the average people, but the number one person, the top 1%. So I found the top 1% of coaches, I found the best of the best and I asked them, point blank, what are you making? Right. So, um, they told me they were doing seven fingers and I asked them how, and they were very giving and forthright. I think I approached them humbly and, and, you know, and, and found out, oh my gosh, this is possible. So yeah. You know, seeing and changing your environment is, is absolutely critical. That’s the first thing it’s like, get surrounding yourself with people that have the success you’re looking to go for.
Speaker 2: (24:36)
Number two is, is, it’s not just, you know, what’s your potential, it’s, what’s your plan, right. So we know it’s possible. Well, how do we get there? What is the business plan? So me joining brand builders group was me asking for help and actually getting help from people who have not only been there, but also are showing and leading the way that’s what I do for my coaching clients. So actually, and that’s what you do. So fundamentally having a plan, not knowing you can do it a step one having a, on to get there is step two, right? And then step three is, is executing the plan fundamentally showing up every day. And I would say, step four is, is focusing on the critical few. It’s not doing everything. I could have a podcast or write a book or do all these things. But fundamentally I’ve decided to focus on very few things how and do them very well.
Speaker 2: (25:27)
So I, I do believe that, you know, people take on too much and they, they don’t, you know, really dedicate, they, they, they’re kind of scatterbrained is on new entrepreneurs and they say yes to everything. And it just becomes, um, more of a distraction than anything else I think focus on, on the critical few. So those are kind of the four steps. The simple answer, anything POS is possible, but without the right environment and people to learn from, without the plan, without commitment and discipline and daily execution and without focus, then it ain’t gonna happen. So those four things are absolutely critical and that, and that they, you do those, you, you you’re guaranteed success. I, I don’t know anyone that, I don’t know, one that’s an entrepreneur or a salesperson that, you know, puts themselves in that situation and doesn’t succeed when they have the right plan, the right mentorship, they execute every day and, and they stay focused and, and commit and, and, and, you know, stay consistent too.
Speaker 2: (26:23)
That’s the key. Gotta give it time. You have to be patient my business. Didn’t just explode this year. Right. Started in 2019 with just videos. Right. So you gotta, you gotta stay the course, I, I guess is number five. I keep adding, adding things. Yeah. It’s great. But look, if I can do it, anybody can do it. Ordinary people can do extraordinary things. And that that’s, I believe that from the bottom of my heart, but most people don’t try. They really don’t try. They don’t persist. They’re not, they’re not resourceful to find the top people. So they’re, they’re not gonna see the success. They just wish it. And that that’s where it stops. So, I mean, I mean, you have to control your own destiny and you really have to have, it starts with having a really strong purpose or, or else you’re gonna, you know, you’re gonna falter, you’re gonna flounder and you’re probably gonna give up and go back to your comfort zone.
Speaker 2: (27:09)
So, yeah. Um, that’s, that’s kind of the thermostat example. And, and so now I’m at this thermostat where, you know, seven figures is the norm. And I, I, I believe my business will grow exponentially in, in the long term and, and fundamentally, um, my, my, uh, internal thermostat said it about a million a year now. I realized that I’m okay, I’m capping my program. I’m like, I want to be right there, but I’m not thinking about how to get to a 10 million a year business. Not now. Anyway. Yeah. So if I surround myself and think about that, why not right. Go, go to that level. But yeah, that’s, that’s not where my thermostat is. So it, it’s all, we’re always kind of, even as we grow, we still set our own. I’m not thinking about ultra marathons. I’m thinking about regular marathons. So, so the key here, I guess the key, what I’m trying to say is, is like you have to set your goal. You really do have to set your goal in and know it exactly what you want. Yeah. As, as, as a star point too, it’s not just, oh, I wanna make a hundred million my, my first year, you know, I, I have, I have realistic goals and I think that’s, that’s really important too.
Speaker 1: (28:12)
Gosh, it’s pure gold. The thermostat is everything. Have you read? Um, I’m reading psycho cybernetics right now. Have you read it? Never read it. Uh, it’s, it’s the same concept, but it’s like, it’s, it’s everything that we teach in this community, because my own experience was I was stuck for 10 years at the same level. And I didn’t realize I had a thermostat set to six figures. And then I worked on repro. I mean, the thermostat hit seven figures like that. And it’s like, was there work involved? Yes. Was there, was there transformation? Heck yeah. But it’s about embodiment. Like you actually literally have to recondition yourself to think the way that per person would think to act, to feel the feeling piece is critical. But I would even say with you, I mean, I know this isn’t like, I, I love how you’re, you know, kind of stair stepping the goals, but it’s like, you’ve, you’ve got a nine figure thermostat somewhere in you cuz you’ve done a hundred million before. Right. So it’s like just yeah.
Speaker 2: (29:02)
Speaker 1: (29:02)
With that concept.
Speaker 2: (29:03)
No, for sure. And that’s, that’s so sure that the, the what, what ed Mylet says, he says, okay, step one is surround yourself with the people. But then he says, step two is like set challenging goals, right? Yeah. So I call them rad goals. Right. I it, and, and, and, and the rad, the rad goals, gosh, I I’m totally drawing a blank, but the, the D stands for drastic action is the
Speaker 1: (29:29)
Speaker 2: (29:29)
That a is ambition. Okay. Ambitious in the R is, um, reason. So the concept is, is really simple. You gotta have a really good reason as a foundation for the goal. Okay. And then, um, you know, the, the a is all about like, make it super ambitious, like go big or go home. Yeah. And the D is, it’s gotta be something that’s gonna require drastic action. So these round goals, we think about goal setting, we think is smart goal. And it’s very like, oh, I’ll do this. And
Speaker 1: (30:01)
I cannot stand smart goals.
Speaker 2: (30:02)
Yeah. Yeah. It’s like, it’s like very like, uh, systematic. Yeah. But think about like, what do I really want and think about why the heck do I want it? And then, okay. What’s gonna really challenge me. And what the heck like training for a marathon is no joke. Okay. Sure. And, and that’s the cool thing it’s like, okay. The reason I wanna do it is cuz I want to inspire others that they can go do anything. Right. I, I was unhealthy and if I can go run a marathon, okay. You can do it too. That, so the reason’s there that the, the ambitious is there, the most I’ve ever run is 13 miles. So it’s double what I’ve ever done. And the D I have to train for four to six months to be able do this. So, and it’s training four days a week.
Speaker 2: (30:43)
It’s not a small training plan. So fundamentally that’s my goal this year. Well, that becomes now the thermostat I’ve run a marathon. What can I do next? Okay. Let’s do a triathlon. Okay. Let’s so you start small. It didn’t start. It started with the 10 K three years ago, then it went to a half, half marathon. Now it’s a marathon. So we’re when I say that, that stepping stone, you have to start with where you’re at. You know, if you don’t exercise it, I’ll start with a walk, but you it’s about the consistency. It’s about getting in motion and staying consistent. And by the way, you do all the things we’re talking about. I know we’re not talking about sales tactics, but you do these things. Your sales will blow up. Your, your sales will blow up. Period. That’s
Speaker 1: (31:22)
Not be a different person,
Speaker 2: (31:23)
A hundred percent. You’ll be the person who takes action. Who’s discipline. Who’s interesting. Who’s ambitious. Who’s authentic that customers will love being around talking to and connecting with.
Speaker 1: (31:32)
I love this so much. And this is one of my favorite things from Bob Proctor, who I just, I, I love him. Uh, he, he talks about like, is the goal worthy of you? So I think when people set goals, they like, they set a goal that they know how to achieve, but if you know how to achieve something, you’re not really gonna grow in it. So I love the framing of, is this goal worthy of trading part of my life for like, because of who I’m gonna become in the process. And it’s, I, I, I love the rad goals. I feel like that’s so in alignment, I know this is how you, how you goals set too. So gosh, this is like pure gold. I wanna ask you, cuz we can’t have you on the show and not talk. I feel like we’ve already, we’ve been like infusing sales all throughout. This is, this is
Speaker 2: (32:14)
All in sales. I know this is a funny thing is people don’t oh, mumbo Jambo, personal development, Tony Robbins, Proctor, all, all, you know, those, those guys, they, they figured out something really, really powerful Napoleon hill, Napoleon hill, the father of personal development who wrote, think and grow ranch and out winning the devil. He studied the Titans of the time, the rock, the Rockefellers, the, um, you know, the Edisons and, and spent 30 or 40 years studying the most successful wealthiest people in the world and wrote a book on what we’re talking about here called thinking grow rich. And it’s, it’s, it’s absolutely foundational, right? For, for success in not just sales in any endeavor, but especially as an entrepreneur, a CEO, a leader, or a salesperson, when you are responsible, ultimately for your own destiny versus you’re just, you know, on a factory line, you know, working a, an hourly job, right? Yeah. So you have to have these, these principles to really go for the big, you know, ambitious goals. So it is relevant and, and it’s what people need more than any tactic, frankly, in, in my opinion.
Speaker 1: (33:22)
Oh my gosh. You’re so right. You’re so anyway, when you study the mind and subconscious mind, 95 to 97% of all our results are based on belief systems, like what our self image, our thermostat. So this that’s why I love what you’re doing. That’s my mission too. With what we’re doing here is like, it’s the stuff people don’t talk about out. I think I need a better closing strategy, yada, yada, but. If you’ve got a belief that you’re not worthy of money, if you’ve got a belief that you only make a certain amount, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. And I love that you’re sharing this because this is such, and like, I know this is a big piece of how you’ve been so successful in your sales role and then also developing your own company big time now, too. It’s like a who you’re being.
Speaker 2: (34:00)
Yeah, exactly. You don’t go, I didn’t have experience as an entrepreneur, a solopreneur or have a coaching experience. So how am I selling so much in my program? Right? It’s it’s well, you know, it is, it is it’s you have to know how to sell fundamentally. If you’re a, if you are a, if you are a business owner, you need to know how to sell, but really it’s, it’s the faith. It’s, it’s the mission. It’s, it’s the discipline. It’s the action, right? It’s it’s all the things that we fundamentally, um, you know, don’t talk about because of course, of course, no, not of course, if it was, of course you’d be spending eight hours a day, every day, working on the critical few activities, the revenue generat activities, you wouldn’t be distracted or wasting time. There’s something going on on, that’s taking your attention away there. So, so yeah. Anyway, let’s, let’s talk,
Speaker 1: (34:45)
Let’s talk so good,
Speaker 2: (34:47)
Whatever sales stuff you wanna know, so I can leave it’s in sales stuff. I’m happy. I’m happy.
Speaker 1: (34:51)
Well, yeah, no, I, I love this so much. So here’s what I think would be great. So I know you’ve got, you’ve got a great download right on the it’s elite. What’s the down it’s 10 habits, least sales
Speaker 2: (35:01)
Performers, 10 traits of elite sales performers. And what I also have is I have my specialty is impactful executive conversations. So if you wanna ask, I love that any of those or tips or whatever, I, I’m all, I’m all, uh, happy to share with, with your listeners.
Speaker 1: (35:15)
So, so let’s do this. So I want, um, I think what people have gotten, so this, this is like 97% of the game in sales. Let’s have you give like one of your favorite tips from the habits of elite sales performers, and then tell people where they can get the rest. Okay. And then I’ve got a final question for you before we wrap, but this is, this is so good.
Speaker 2: (35:34)
Yeah. I’m gonna, I’m gonna give you one tip and then I’m gonna talk about three tips that are under, that that are, are going over deliver. It’s so important. I wanna over deliver. That’s great. One of the tips I’m gonna read it. Cause I have my, my, um, my infographic awesome for download right in front of me, but it says the, the tip is they sell to executives, elite performer, understand, or you can substitute executives with decision makers. Okay. They work and sell directly to people that can say yes. So elite performers understand that power compresses deal cycles, and you can’t sell to somebody who can’t buy. So they focus on prospecting and selling directly to executives. Okay. And I’ll talk about out what that means, but, um, I, I specialize in training software or SA account executives. Um, that was the business I was in, um, or anyone that’s selling a complex sale.
Speaker 2: (36:28)
So if you’re thinking about a more transactional sale, that’s not necessarily my expertise. Although there are certainly things you can do with transactional sales, if you’re selling pay or you’re selling printers or something, right. It’s a shorter sales cycle, but if you’re selling software, anything, that’s gonna change an organization and how they work. There are going to be a lot of cooks in the kitchen. There are going to be a lot of stakeholders that are fundamentally involved. If you’re selling a B2C product and it’s one person you’re always gonna be talking to the decision maker in that sense, maybe their, their partner, they want to talk to. But with, with companies it’s very different, right? And so, um, when you target, when you sell to executives that compresses the, the sales cycle and a lot of SaaS companies, they have, um, people that are evaluating the software, they have managers or users that don’t actually have the power to go and buy it on behalf of their company.
Speaker 2: (37:20)
And I find that, you know, just targeting executives with the right message on how you can help them grow their business and succeed with their specific goals. And then tie that back to what you sell. Right? If you, even if you spend 10 emails or phone calls or whatever, to get to this executive, you’re way better off calling a few people, 10, 12, whatever it takes, contacting them over and over again than talking to 10 people one or two times and leaving and giving up. So what I did is less, is more, I focused on fewer accounts and I focused on fewer people within those accounts. Um, so specifically executives, and when you do that, you can sell six or seven figure deals. That’s how I got to a hundred million with, with myself and the teams that I sold with. So fundamentally the tip is that elite performers really don’t do a lot of bottom upselling.
Speaker 2: (38:13)
They do top down selling. They make sure that they’re working with senior stakeholders in the organization. When you do that, the stakeholders can bring in their teams. They can get you access to critical information that you need to have for discovery to, you know, be able to assess their current situation or build a business case, or do a demo or proceed with the sales cycle. We’re talking about six to 12 month sales cycles, oftentimes. So that compresses the deal cycle. So, so fast. So the three tips I have for people when they are selling to executives, um, that fall under that bucket, this is one of the 10. And then under that, there’s, there’s a lot of information, but, but the three tips I have on how to effectively have a conversation with executives are number one is you cannot put them on a pedestal.
Speaker 2: (38:59)
Okay? When you put somebody on a pedestal, you don’t see them eye to eye and you can’t connect. When you’re not seeing eye to eye. At the end of the day, we all put our pants on the same way. We’re all humans. But what a lot of people, the reason people don’t target executives or decision makers, something is simply because they’re afraid or they don’t think they could add value. They have some imposter syndrome around talking to decision makers. But when you realize like humans are humans and people are people, right? It changes the game. So don’t look at them as some don’t idolize them because they’re a title or their success. They’re just people just like you and me. That’s the, the first tip of selling the executives. The second tip is kill the deck. During the first meeting, don’t present to them, have a conversation.
Speaker 2: (39:43)
That’s the key, have a conversation, get to know them, understand what are their top goals, their top challenges, their priorities. What’s important to them. And if you can help them through what sell or the service you provide, then talk about it, but do not start pitching and talking about all the great things you can do because fundamentally that’s not how executives buy executives want to talk. And ultimately selling is helping. So the goal of sales is not, you don’t go in with the intention of selling a product or service. You go in with the tension of understanding who you’re talking to, what they care about and seeing if you are able to help them. Okay? And if you are then you, then you pitch, then you can go and proceed with the sales cycle. So just treat it as a conversation, not as a presentation, kill the deck, have a conversation, especially in that first meeting.
Speaker 2: (40:34)
That’s the second tip. And the third tip of a three is practice active listening. When they tell you about their goal, when they tell you about their challenge that they’re facing, that they’re trying to solve, don’t jump to, Hey, here’s how we do it. Tell me why is this a challenge? Mm. Tell me more about the challenge. How long has it gone on for what have you done to try to fix it in the past? What have the, if you do nothing, what is this challenge costing you? What’s your plan? How important is it to fix it? Why now? And if you do fix it, what’s in it for you. What does it mean to you personally and to your team? If you’re able to fix it? I just ask five, follow up questions to one simple challenge. That is where the gold is buried in the executive call conversation.
Speaker 2: (41:19)
It’s buried in active listening. So practice those conversational skills really listen and dig deep. And it’s amazing how you will connect with these executives. I always tell people the best way to leave the way you leave. A great impression is stop trying to impress, just be yourself. Yeah. You leave the best impression when you stop trying to impress. So you need to be interested in not interesting. It’s not about you. It’s about them. Okay. So that’s how you nail meetings with executives is you stop trying to sell and press and just try and help and learn and, and listen.
Speaker 1: (41:55)
So good. It’s so good. And by the way, these are like life skills that will help you with any relationship. For sure. Yeah. Yeah. But that is especially, Especially executive. That’s so good. And I love how a lot of that too comes back to yourself. Image, not putting people on a pedestal thinking you’re lower than them or less than them. Like it all still boils down to that, but that’s such, oh my gosh. That’s so good. That’s so good.
Speaker 2: (42:18)
It makes everything easier. So you get executive involved. I mean, again, this is B2B, strategic sales, anything complex, anything longer term, um, for your listeners. I, I don’t know what they’re selling, but fundamentally for any B2B where there’s multiple stakeholders, the key is to get that champion who has power that can go and make things happen within their organization. And it just makes everything easier. If you’re solving a problem, people really care about or helping them achieve goals or outcomes that they really care about at the executive level, they will pay millions for your solution because it’s a drop in the buck compared to the outcomes that they’re going to achieve their company. So I really do think again, it’s that thermostat, once you’ve done some seven figure deals or eight figure deals or shown a quote for 50 million, it’s like, okay, wow.
Speaker 1: (43:04)
You know, that stuff feels small. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: (43:06)
It’s really not a big deal. A hundred million is not that big of a deal. So it sounds like a lot, but fundamentally, um, you know, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s when you’re dealing with a, you know, $20 billion business. So exactly. Um, anyway, that that’s, that’s my tip for, for the day.
Speaker 1: (43:22)
I love it. It’s all relative. I always talk about that with my clients. It’s like, it’s a hundred million isn’t big or small. It’s like compared to what, right. So it’s all, it’s always relative. So right. This is so I just, I adore you. I love this. I’m so excited for what you’re doing and the world needs it. Um, one final question for you. And then I want you to tell everyone where they can connect with you, where they can learn more about what you’re doing. So since it’s she sells radio, we gotta give a shout out to the lady in your life. Right. So I wanna hear from you, Ian, what is the, what is the biggest lesson that you’ve learned from your wife that’s impact? Oh
Speaker 2: (44:00)
My gosh. Okay. So I didn’t give the full story. I know it was a long story in the beginning. So in 2019, when I was, you know, working with brand builders, I said it was a horrible year. Here’s why it was horrible. It wasn’t just because I was hiding things or living a double life. It was horrible because I was distancing myself and my wife. I was so egocentric. And so, so I’m like, I’m this badass sales person. Oh. And now my business is thriving. I’m getting all these followers. People love me. And I look at my wife and I’m like, what are you doing? Where’s your admission? Where’s your, you know, why aren’t you doing something big? And it was up. And yeah, I didn’t even realize I was doing at a time, but I was seeing myself as better than her because I was successful in ways.
Speaker 2: (44:45)
Fundamentally don’t matter. Now I see that. Um, but at the time got my ego, it was all about me. And the Bible says this. It says, when you marry someone, you become one with them, you become one entity. And I was always thinking of marriages, me and her. And that’s how I could go and live and do these horrible things without even thinking about her because it was separate. Right. But you know, again, there’s no secrets when you’re true joint marriage, if you’re the same entity, right. Then you both know everything about each other and that’s how marriage should be. But I didn’t value what marriage was. And I didn’t value my wife in the same way that I, that I do now. So she was the same person in 2020 when I got in recovery as, as she was in 2019, but I had been changing and I was changing for the work.
Speaker 2: (45:32)
This is why I stopped brand builders is why I got into recovery. I, I, I had been, my ego had gotten so big that I thought it was better. I thought it was God’s gift. And, and, and I started seeing her in a way that, that wasn’t, wasn’t accurate. It was diluted. And, and so my wife, just to give you some background is the most humble kind, loving, wonderful, cheerful, joyous soul in the universe. I am so blessed to have her, and she’s always been that way. Right. But I was looking her at her. She’s a full-time mom. Okay. And to full-time mom, and she’s a great mom and she’s a great wife and she’s a great, she makes her home beautiful and she gardens and she does. She’s just a wonderful, wonderful person. And I’m so blessed, but I was looking at her from a different lens of like your career achievement or your ambition, but her ambition is not to go make a million dollars and to try and start a business.
Speaker 2: (46:23)
Her ambition is to be the best mom and, and to be loyal and loving. And like, I didn’t value those things. And I was so blind, but when I got into recovery and when I saw that I had hurt, I realized that I was the one, this is why I became a Christian. I realized that I was flawed. I was the one who was sinning my way was not the right way. Okay. My way had caused pain. My way had caused friction. My way had nearly killed my, my son and, and fundamentally, um, I started seeing my wife for the truth for, for the person that she is. And she had always been, I saw her as this loyal, loving, forgiving, gracious kind soul. She forgave me. She forgave me for, for things that fundamentally she didn’t have to do. She gave me a chance and her quality shine.
Speaker 2: (47:13)
Someone told me, if you wanna find God, look to your wife and it’s true. She carries this holy spirit. She carries this love. She carries this joyous childlike, wonder that, you know, she’ll take a walk and she’ll look around and notice every little tree and flower. And it’s just so beautiful. And I’m, again, I’m so blessed to have her. So she’s made me better. She’s given me what I needed that was missing in our marriage is, is not just stronger. It’s, it’s holier than, than it’s ever been. And in the respect we have and the honesty we have together and the connection and the unity, um, has made me appreciate in, in instilled values in me that I didn’t have before the value of honesty and loyalty and kindness and compassion and understanding, and patience and love. Like these are things that I was not guided by on a day to day basis when I was living in my addiction. And when I was making money in the pursuit of money, the, the primary goal. And so, um, she’s shown me, she’s shown me the light. She’s shown me the way. And, and I, I could not be half the man, a quarter of the man that I am without her, by my son.
Speaker 1: (48:25)
Oh my gosh. Thank you for sharing that. That’s like, I’m the whole it interview. I’ve just been emotional, listening to you. Talk and hearing that is so powerful and
Speaker 2: (48:34)
Glad you asked the question, cuz man, I want her to hear that because she really,
Speaker 2: (48:38)
I, I tell her every day, I mean, it’s, it’s the fact that she stayed with me. The fact that she, you know, trusted me, she gave me a chance. It’s just beautiful. I mean, you know, we talk about forgive and seeing the positive and people and, and she just embodies everything. That’s good in the world. So I, I I’m, I, I feel very, very fortunate to have her and, you know, I, I, I will never ever do anything to put our merit at risk. Again, that’s, that’s just, um, not, not question it at all anymore. I’m just, it will never be it because of things I was hiding or because of secrets or anything, it’s just, it’s not, and we’re gonna be together forever. And, and, and I just, I don’t see her that way. I see her for her goodness versus what she, you know, what I thought was lacking before. I don’t look at that anymore. I just see her for her goodness. Cuz there is nothing lacking. Yeah. There’s nothing lacking.
Speaker 1: (49:30)
It’s so powerful. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for sharing your heart your soul, your journey. Um, you’re, you’re an incredible human being. And, um, and we’re really blessed. Like I’ve been blessed by your, your presence today. So tell everyone, Ian, where can they connect with you? Where they, where can they find out, tell ’em how to get your downloads? Like, I wanna make sure that everyone gets connected, cuz you’re sharing so much value online and, and you
Speaker 2: (49:58)
Want, if you want to hear all 10 elite sales performer traits, um, you’ll leave a link in, in, in the show notes, but um, it’s untapped your sales potential.com UNAP your sales potential.com/top hyphen traits, top hyphen traits. Okay. That’s how to get to the top traits. You can download it if you want to follow me or connect with me the best ways LinkedIn by far I live there. And if you send me a connection request, I’ll send you my newsletter. Um, I’ll send you my YouTube channel. Um, and if you wanna find me just online, you can just go to youtube.com/ian KOAC. I have a ton of sales training, videos, mindset, videos, um, or you can go to my website, Ian konyak.com, but my program, which is launching at the end, um, it’s gonna be launching, I’m taking enrollment in mid-April, um, but that’s called UNAP.
Speaker 2: (50:53)
Your sales potential.com. That’s the coaching platform that I’m building for the B2B tech sales community, um, untapped your sales potential.com and you could sign up for the wait list for my coaching platform. It already has six of hundred 50 people on the wait list who get on there. Oh awesome. I’m only gonna be selling to people on the wait list. I’m not gonna be doing it public. So if you are interested in my coaching programs, go to on top of your sales, potential.com. Um, everything’s on there that you need to know the pricing, the program it’s a year long membership, but hit that wait list. If you are seriously considering or want to work with me in any capacity, that is the place to go. Otherwise just take my free content, which you’ll find plenty of, um, in the other places I, I shared.
Speaker 1: (51:33)
Ah, amazing, amazing, Ian, thank you for everything. Thank you for your time. Again, just the gift of your story. And I think you’ve, I, I know for me and I’m sure and certain for our listeners that you have really freed people up to, um, to go for what they want to do it unapologetically, but to do it from a very grounded place of deep like truth and knowing and faith in themselves, which is what we are all about in this community. And I’m just, I’m so grateful for you. So thank you. Thank you, my friend,
Speaker 2: (52:04)
It goes both ways, everything, and I still have that. I still have that Teddy bear and it, oh,
Speaker 1: (52:09)
You kidding me?
Speaker 2: (52:10)
It, it was true. You knew it the whole time when we started working together three years ago and it’s all kind of come true and you’ve been a big part of my story too. So thank you for what you’ve done.
Speaker 1: (52:20)
Oh my gosh. Yeah. It’s such a pleasure. And for everyone listening, um, go connect with Ian, you know, get on the wait list for his program. If it’s speaking to, to you, absolutely connect on LinkedIn, you know, subscribe to his YouTube. It’s just, the content is pure gold and, and you inspire me and I know you’ll inspire listeners as well. So thank you again. Thank you for listening today and I will see you next week on our next episode of she sells radio bye for now.
Speaker 2: (52:46)
[3:14] – Elyse is the one who helped Josh solidify the brand obscurity focus through coaching.
[4:09] – Don’t make noise, make an impact.
[5:26] – Will your posts make an impact or add to the noise? Impactful posts will catch someone’s eye and make someone stop and think.
[6:29] – Put out meaningful content instead of posting too often.
[8:10] – Don’t just check the box that you have done something. Think about content coming from your heart.
[10:20] – Josh shares his background and journey to his current career.
[11:30] – In 2009, Josh and his wife were taken advantage of with a high interest mortgage and it inspired him to help others out of the same issue.
[13:49] – With his newfound knowledge and passion, Josh grew a mortgage firm and used social media to help grow business.
[15:40] – Building a brand takes time and is hard. But it is possible.
[16:54] – Josh has always had a “challenge accepted” mentality when it comes to obstacles.
[19:13] – Consistency is the key to everything.
[20:48] – Metrics will be distracting and discouraging. Stay consistent.
[23:21] – Being the real you is the most impactful.
[24:20] – Think about what scroll-stopping content looks and sounds like.
[25:34] – Social media is meant to entertain and educate, not to constantly sell.
[27:23] – What if you impact just one person a day?
[29:04] – What has Elyse seen that impacts people’s lives?
[31:14] – Listen to your body and feelings when making a real post.
[32:55] – Everyone’s audience is a little different. Even if someone says the exact same
message, you might be the one to have an impact on someone else.
[34:53] – If you don’t feel compelled to post something, you have to find the balance of
posting something just for the sake of posting.
[36:20] – When building a brand, where are you coming from?
[37:32] – You can’t do every single thing. Start small.
[39:08] – Josh shares one major thing to do to grow 1% better everyday.
[40:16] – Always show up even on days when it is hard.
[43:13] – Josh shares the most life-changing lesson he learned from his wife.