“Why Not You?” with Cynthia Barnes

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Welcome to She Sells Radio my guest today is literally one of the top voices

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in the world today for women in sales and is someone that I have a ton of

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respect and admiration for so let me tell you a little bit about her and then I’m so excited to bring bring her to you

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today Cynthia Barnes is a LinkedIn top voice a LinkedIn top sales influencer a

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two times Salesforce top influencer an international keynote speaker and founder of the National Association of

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women’s sales professionals and her work’s been featured in over 250 major media Outlets including the Wall Street

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Journal and the Salesforce plus series and Cynthia you and I actually connected

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years ago we were just catching up before I hit record and we found out so many things including we’re literally

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living in the same like the same city right now which is crazy yes but I remember when we last connected it

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was kind of in my world it was right after I had exited a company where I had a two-year non-compete and couldn’t

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really build a brand in the sales space but my heart just still so wanted to be involved with women in sales and I think

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it was like writer you had already launched nawsp but it was obviously it was years ago so it was still it was in

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a different process and we got connected and I was able to get plugged in and help you a bit with the Atlanta chapter

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and I was just so impressed and excited by what you were building and there was

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I just remember even then like there was so much enthusiasm around National

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Association of women’s sales professionals and you were doing something so different and

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  I’m so excited to catch up today and hear like what’s happened now because I know it’s just it’s kind of spread like wildfire

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  and for context too for our listeners if you want to go back and hear a throwback conversation we had Cynthia on

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the podcast literally episode 12. so this is I think our episodes now are going to be in the 200s 300s at the time

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this comes out so wow episode 12 came out three years ago we’re both now in

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the Salesforce top sales influencers program so we’ve kind of gotten to reconnect in that way and gosh you know

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I just I’m so excited to reconnect today we were chatting at the beginning of the conversation about

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  just for for women like us who are growing and leading teams and really looking to create movement like all the

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different moving components and so I selfishly may use this as a bit of a personal q a coaching call because you

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have just done such an amazing job with building your brand and your team and what you’re doing but I also want to

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hone in on some of your journey and just the amazing accomplishments you’ve had over the past few years and like your

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core message right now for females for women in sales so welcome to the show

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it’s so good to see you again yes I am right neighbor I am thrilled to be here

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thank you so much for having me oh my God gosh well here’s what I would love to know

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  I think just to kick off so again if someone wants to go back and hear more of your back story you’ve got a super

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powerful backstory I remember just digging deep into like your work ethic and I think a lot of lessons learned

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from if I’m remembering correctly learned from your dad and kind of just that whole journey in your life someone

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can go back and listen to episode 12 to hear more of your back story but what’s happened in the past three years for

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years you came on the show let’s let’s go there because I know it’s been a lot

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a lot a lot so much that if I I don’t think we have enough time if I had to

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say the the AHA moments Oprah’s aha moments that were pivotal that changed

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the trajectory of where I am now they would have to be two things n ber

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one November 11th of 2021 I had heart surgery oh wow and that stopped me in my

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tracks and gave me a new perspective a mindset shift if you will on what

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matters most and prior to that I was Infamous for 19 hour days and I thought

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it was you know a point of brag uh bragging rights if you will I’m working

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so hard and I’m foregoing everything to be successful and then that happened and

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I thought why am I working so hard and then you know there’s the old

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cliches if you don’t have health you don’t have wealth and nothing matters if you don’t have your health and I put all

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of that just kind of like on the back burner like just you know whatever that incident and although it wasn’t

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serious it well I mean it’s a heart Surrey just so it’s kind of serious but it it made me stop and think

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if I keep going at the pace I’m going will I be able to enjoy the fruits of my

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labor wow and that got me thinking about Cynthia what’s the difference between

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where you want to be and what you’re currently doing what do you have to change

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and I and I started digging deep and I said I rest all the time

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but I’m not recovering and I started talking and digging into

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the difference between rest and recovery and it’s it’s phenomenal and I realized

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I wasn’t recovering I was getting sleep but was it quality sleep was I

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unplugging or just saying I was off work yeah

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what’s that dig deeper into the difference between those because I don’t think it’s something I’ve ever asked

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myself or really thought about before so I’d love to hear more of how do you know if you’re just resting or if you’re

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truly recovering that’s an excellent question and I had to ask myself what’s the difference so the difference between

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rest and Recovery is this we say that we’re off work at six

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o’clock at night yet we go online and we look at social media

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and we get riled up our our adrenal glands are in overdrive we watch the 6

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30 News with Lester Holt and we look at the latest covet stats and the inflation and the recession that’s looming and

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whatever the experts say and our adrenal glands go into overdrive some more so

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even though we’re not working we’re resting but we’re not recovering

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as sales professionals and US entrepreneurs we spend our days on in

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the performance Zone we’re on for our clients we’re on for our teams we’re on for our friends we’re on for our

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partners we’re on for our kids we are in a state of constant arousal and if we’re

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not careful we will burn out just because it’s the nature of the Beast

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if Serena Williams spent 10 hours a day 280 days a year performing at the level

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she does in Wimbledon in that performance Zone she would risk burnout and injury right well of course the same

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thing applies to us so what I learned is that the more time

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we spend in the performance Zone we need to spend in the recovery zone

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hmm recovery is not rest recovery is not sleep it’s the quality of sleep

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it’s the meditation it’s the unplugging it’s the digital detox

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yeah it’s going out for dinner with friends and the first person who picks

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up their phone pays things like that I love that yeah you know first of all I I

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don’t think I knew that that had been part of your journey so that’s   thank you for sharing that and what a

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perspective shifter and it’s actually it’s so aligned with really the focus of

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this show in this community as well is you know people are they come in

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typically not always but often because they say well I want a certain Revenue goal or I want a certain sales goal my

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own experience in my life has been the more I do the inner work the more all of that kind of takes care of itself yeah

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so what you’re sharing is it’s like a different angle a different perspective it’s something that I hadn’t thought

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about in my life before you said that am I truly recovering or am I just resting

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so for you what has that shift looked like so you were doing the 19-hour days right you were pulling

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the all-nighters what what changed for you in your life like how do your days look now and what’s your what’s your

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mindset around what really matters it’s backed it goes back to what Mary

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Kay used to say as long as you have yourself in alignment everything falls

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in place and for her it’s God first family second and career third

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and I used to I used to preach that all the time until last year and I thought am I really walking my talk uh yeah so

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that was the Mind shift and it was also important for me to get routine because

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routine keeps us safe   so there’s a consistent bedtime a

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consistent wake time consistent workout time I make sure that I spend at least 45 minutes a day outside

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I have identified and it’s different for every person I have identified what I

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need to allow me to show up as my best self hmm

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for some people and this is super helpful you can take a weekly calendar broken down in 15-minute chunks so

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Sunday through Saturday and you block out your time of what you’re going to be doing so I put work hours Revenue

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generating hours I highlight those those chunks in green and when I’m spending

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time with family or going to church that’s yellow because it makes Sunshine it makes me happy then I have exercise

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time which is blue and I have a different color coding for every single

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thing and I took a look at that and I said no wonder I feel out of balance all of

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my calendar is green uh yeah yeah we can think we’re in balance

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but as they say the data doesn’t lie so if you get a visual in your calendar Sunday through Saturday every 15 minutes

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what are you doing if it’s not equally balanced then you’ll be out of balance and you won’t be able to show up as your

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best self hmm so how did you I’m imagining now and you

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can tell me if it’s different but I’m imagining your calendar looks very different now right based on the

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priorities that you’ve shifted I can also Imagine The Fear someone might have

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of saying oh my gosh well I’m not going to make as much money if I

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shrink down that green timer if I decide I’m going to prioritize more of my family or myself my hunch is the

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opposite happened for you I’m curious to hear yes how did you make that shift and

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what has that actually looked like from a result standpoint in your in your business and in your life absolutely so

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I was scared because I thought the more I worked the more money I would make they just go hand in hand and that’s

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that old school traditional sales approach meaning that you’ve you’ve got to put in 125 cold calls and the more

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cold calls you make the more it’s a n bers game yeah well there’s also

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room for evaluation if you will

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we all know that work expands to the amount of time you give it if you give

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yourself two hours to do cold calls you will take two hours

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so what if you were strategic with your time and instead of having the mindset

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of I’m going to manage my time having the mindset of I’m going to manage my priorities

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so when you have that mindset of my priority today is to make 50 phone calls

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within this amount of time you will get it done because you will prioritize that

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goal and you will eliminate all other distractions if I give you eight hours to do it you’ll be on LinkedIn Facebook

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Tick Tock looking at text all that good stuff but if I say you have to get it done in this amount of time you will

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turn off everything except for that task at hand

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so has that been so in your own process when you said I’m going to realign how

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my days fit with my priorities what did that look like for you did you shrink down and say okay I’ve got this amount

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of hours a day that I’m going to work and I’ve got a really renegotiate what’s important what’s not like how did that I guess walk me

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through what that process looked like for you I went back to that quadrant that says things are either urgent and

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important not urgent not important urgent and important and not important

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but urgent and I looked at what fires I was putting out and identified you know

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what I am chasing fires and I don’t need to so how can I plan to prevent the fires

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and how can I align my schedule with what matters most and as a result I now

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work in 15-minute blocks hmm and that productivity that I was able to realize

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by being focused for those 15 minutes at a time our Revenue has increased 78

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percent   yes yeah it is huge and how many just

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for context on an average day like how many hours are you are you working now

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  still about 12 12 or 13. which is still that’s a day like that is a day

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but when you compare it to where it was what a little over a year ago right and

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it’s brain I don’t know not it’s it’s almost half right we’ll say that it’s like

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almost half in your Revenue has gone up 78 yes so I mean hello yeah and keep in

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mind that that day when I say my day my day is not all work so I take 45 minutes

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to be outside in my day so from the time I wake up until the time I shut

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everything down part of my day is to do things that make my heart sing and also

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take care of my health Mind Body Spirit yes so I take 45 minutes outside I’m 45

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minutes on the Peloton part of that part of those days I’m with my trainer health is very important to me so I make sure

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that I schedule it yeah well when you got on you know when you got on the camera and ass e I was like you just

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look radiant I mean you look like you’re exuding that energy and that health and

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so   to see you embody that I think is is

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empowering for so many women who are still kind of stuck in that old mindset of the more I work the more money I make

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which just it’s not true like it’s that could be a whole nother podcast but if

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you study truly wealthy people it’s not how much time for the ones who are

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for the ones who are truly wealthy in all areas it’s not how much time they’re working every day that’s not it so yeah

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so you you said there were two kind of core defining moments in the past three

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years and you said one was after your heart surgery what was the other that you were going to share

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I took a look and I took a look at where the female speakers who look like

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me are and there are not a lot of us

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and I believe that I have a message to share with the world

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that’s bigger than nawsp that’s bigger than anything I could possibly imagine

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to be able to share that message with the world I had to level up my speaking career

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so I’ve been publicly speaking since age 16 when I took my first Dale Carnegie course

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and this past year past October I became the first black woman to Keynote the

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largest sales conference in the world amazing yes I remember seeing that on

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your LinkedIn I wanted to ask you about that today because my heart just swelled when I saw that

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like what was that experience like for you I can only imagine I wanted to cry I wanted to cry because

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I thought here it is 2022 and I’m still the first this the first that and it

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kind of saddened me and it also fueled my fire because I thought

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now I’m Paving the way for others to do firsts giving women who look like me

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little girls who look like me the the opportunity and the courage to say if

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she can do what I can do it too I’m rewriting history challenging the

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status quo and redefining what successful sales looks like and at least

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that is very h bling and exhilarating and

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awe-inspiring yes it’s huge I mean I got chills while

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you were sharing that what   gosh I’d love to just dig even a little

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bit deeper into that and again it’s like as you share it at first I thought gosh that’s really that is

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crazy that today in this year you were the first like that blew my mind and

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Well Done Right like well done what an amazing accomplishment you know I know

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you talk a lot about using fear as fuel and I I know along

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the journey for you as with every woman we all have our own different kind of circ stances and scenarios but I can

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only also Imagine along the journey and along the way to now being able to say I’ve been the first black woman to

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Keynote this national sales conference there were a lot of fear moments oh my gosh

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yeah so so speak maybe if you can pull out

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like what has been one of the scariest moments for you along the

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journey and then how did you transmute that into fuel to propel you forward ah

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I’m gonna let you in a little secret I am scared every single day of my life

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hmm also back in 2016 when I started nawsp I was

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riddled with all the fear of can you do this all the Imposter syndrome all the

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self-doubt that you could ever imagine and I said well nothing beats a failure

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but a try and so I sat down and I closed my eyes and I said this is Moment by moment how

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I want my life to be this is the rug that I want to put my toes on when I get out of bed in the morning this is the

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the this scent that I have when I walk throughout my home here’s how I want to spend my day with with the dogs on the

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deck overlooking the sunrise I was granular and specific down to the most

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minute detail hmm and I created the life that I wanted

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I live a Charmed Life Is it hard sure

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but it’s worth it and that fear that I have

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is I don’t want to lose it I’m I I am fearful that if I stop

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working as hard and as diligently as I do that it will all come cr bling down hmm

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and it’s false evidence appearing real I mean the likelihood of that happening is so minute and so remote

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but that fear because I’ve been homeless because I’ve been

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penniless and broke so broke I couldn’t even pay attention that’s a real fear for me

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and I use that fear as a fuel to say there will never be another time when

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someone calls and says the sheriff is at your door unloading your items yeah yeah

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there will never be a day as long as I have breath in my lungs that I will have

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to ride three buses to get to work never become another day where I have to

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say okay do I choose Ramen and peanut butter and jelly

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or can I splurge and get some tuna hmm yeah so it’s unfortunate that I had to go

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through those things but it’s also a blessing that I did because now I am

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fearful in a good sense I use that fuel to that fear to to fuel me to to keep

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going to keep striving so that others don’t have

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to go through what I went through hmm wow thank you for sharing that

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  you know it’s incredible to me when I meet just amazing women like you and people

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like we even had   I don’t know if you know Glenn Lundy at all Breakfast With Champions no not

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yet he was yeah great he’s built a great brand   in the sales space obviously

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it’s not the women in sales space but that was part of his backstory too

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  being homeless and you know suicidal was this was part of his journey too and it’s just I’ve had a n ber of very

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accomplished very successful leaders on this show with big Brands

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where it’s like that was part of this that was a core defining moment of their story but the key is you leveraged it for fuel

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for what you want to create and I want to go into two things that you shared

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there Cynthia   one is this is something we speak about on the show a lot too because like I

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mentioned before for me I’ve seen the real transformation in sales results and career results has come from the inner

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work one of the things I heard you say was you visualized like when you really

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decided you were going to change things you went deep into visualizing about your life how you wanted things to go do

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you still use that today and if so how do you kind of weave that in with the actual doing work in your business

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that’s a very excellent that’s an excellent question so there is a

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and and I say old because it’s from way back when I was in sales

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  as an individual contributor and the the story or the theory is that

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we have a set point in our minds of what we are worth financially yeah same thing

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your body has a set point on how much you’re going to weigh all that good stuff so let’s say that your mind says

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you know what you’re a hundred thousand dollar a year earner and you go and you say I want to earn

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two hundred thousand dollars this year unless you change your mindset to get

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yourself to believe through visualization that you are a two hundred thousand dollar a year earner you will

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not make it so the body adjusts the Mind adjusts to whatever you’re doing

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so if you say that you are a one hundred thousand dollar a year earner and your

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income goes 10 above that to 110 you will

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literally sabotage anything that gets you to go above 110 per year if you earn

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one hundred and ten thousand dollars by the third month of the first quarter you

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will literally not make any more until you change your mindset and the reverse is true too if we think of ourselves as

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a hundred thousand dollar a year earner and we dip ten percent below to ninety percent we will scramble to get back to

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that one hundred thousand dollar a year mindset that being said you’ve got to see

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yourself making whatever it is that you want to make and it’s not about the money it’s

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about the experiences that the money allows you to have so when I talked about the my toes

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hitting the rug in the morning and what kind of rug I want that’s different than going through

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Amazon saying you know what I’d like to have that fuzzy rug no I can feel my

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toes in that rug and I want that rug I keep a a spiral binder a spiral

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notebook of all the things that I want and I write down what I want

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I love it and it’s not about the material but if I see something I want it and I work hard for it because I’m a

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visual person yes yes I oh my you were preaching you

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were you’re speaking my language here so so much there is so much of my own Journey that when I

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kind of my LEAP from six to seven I know 100 it was raising my financial set point like I know because I did not feel

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worthy of seven figures for the longest time right once I did it happened and it happened fast so I actually I was going

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to ask a different question I want to ask this instead do you because I think this is one of

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the biggest challenges I hear from women in our community and this is something I’ve come to believe is your level of

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income will never exceed your level of self-worth right right and so do you on

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your own Journey did you face the unworthiness feelings did you face like you’ve got your beautiful you’ve got your notebook there

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these are the things I want and along with that as you identify those and write those down

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do you run into parts of you feeling Unworthy of those and if so how do you work through that every single day

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  to the point where this is probably no this is not silly this is what it takes

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for me I have on my bathroom a sticky note that says I am worthy enough

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without even trying oh I love that because that visual reminder of Cynthia

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you are worthy you are worthy of every single thing that you want and are

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willing to work for yeah I am worthy enough without even trying hmm

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I have motivational sticky notes everywhere

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everywhere I I have the I am app that has positive affirmations that that pops

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up every hour to say I am this I am that I am challenged like most people are

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with the that little voice in your head that says who are you to think that you

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can do this this and this hmm and I and I stop and I say okay I hear

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you I hear you and because just like in sales with a prospect you have to do a pattern

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interrupt I do a pattern interrupt with myself and I say cancel cancel cancel

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I hear you and I first of all ask myself

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is it true is it true that I’m unworthy no

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second of all is it helpful is it true is it helpful

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chances are even if it is true let’s say that I am a bad driver is it helpful nah

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but that inner critic is there for a reason and I always say

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you know what why not me why not me

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there is no one on this Earth more special more capable more hard-working

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why not me   I love that so much and I would I’m just guessing again you

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can tell me what really happened for you but that played in as the first black female

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to Keynote this conference right did that come up some of the limiting beliefs and doubts of like oh my gosh

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who am I and how is this happening did that come up at all or no every single thing I doubted I doubted how I showed

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up on stage what I wore what I said should I tell this story is it too raw is it going to be offensive and I said

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you know what be authentically you Cynthia be authentically you

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people are going to like you hear what you have to say or they’re not either

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way you would do yourself a disservice and do them a disservice if you don’t

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show up authentically so I showed up authentically me

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I love that so much and that question of Why Not Me Why Not Me Why Not Me

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that’s one of the biggest I’m taking so much from today but that’s one of the biggest things I’m going to take from today to remember because I know for

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everyone listening   every woman in this community is going for some sort of up level in her

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life career Financial life circ stances a new home whatever

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it is and to switch that question from well who am I to why not me yeah because

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one of the most powerful questions you can ask yourself yes so yes oh this is

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yeah go ahead go ahead I was gonna say if you if you think about this and I’m a visual person right so imagine you get

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to the end of your days and regardless of what religion you are you get to the aft

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and someone meets you at the   the the Pearly Gates and they say

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they say Cynthia  

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okay so imagine you get to the end of days regardless of what religion or

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spirituality you are and there’s someone to meet you and for me it’s the Gates of Heaven because that’s my faith

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so St Peter’s there and he says Cynthia you’ve done really well with your life you’ve helped a lot of people you’ve

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brought Trailblazer and I say you know what thank you and I Pat myself on the back and he says would you like to see

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what the heavens had planned for you   and he pulls back this huge heavy velvet

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curtain and I see all the things that I was either too scared

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or unwilling to try but had I just had enough

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g ption if I had just said yes to an opportunity

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these were all the things that I could have had so for your listeners I want them to

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imagine themselves getting to their last days and saying

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I didn’t leave it all out on the field I am leaving this Earth with unmet dreams

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unmet aspirations we don’t regret the things that we do we regret the things

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we don’t do so why not say yes

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what’s the worst that could happen say yes

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wow wow that got me emotional at the end there because I started thinking about in my own life like having that

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experience and what that could look like ah this is beautiful

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this was this was so good to I mean not just catch up but just hear

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your wisdom and   and about your journey and I just want to say thank you for

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thank you for facing the fear for taking the risks for Paving the way

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  for women across the world to be able to say why not me and go for

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what they want so Cynthia if someone wants to connect find out more about you your work bringing

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you on as a speaker joining nawsp what’s the best way for them to get in touch please reach out to me on LinkedIn

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  I am quite active on LinkedIn and I would love to hear from you let me know that you heard this episode

33:15

  with the lease on the She Sells Radio and Elyse thank you so much for all that you do being a working mother a a

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leading influencer and doing an entrepreneur leading a staff

33:28

building a legacy for your children to to be proud of to say you know what my mom did that it’s not easy

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it’s not easy and you do it anyway you do it anyway so on behalf of all

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those women who look to you and say if she can do what I can do it to your kids who down the road are going to look

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back and say well why not my mom said I can do anything I put my mind to thank you hmm

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thank you I received that I received that ah wow what a beautiful conversation so

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Cynthia thank you again I’m so excited for what you’re going to do next I hope

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we can have you on the show again in less than three years yes yes please yes

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please I know there’s gonna be so much more   so thank you again

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thank you yes absolutely to you my listener gosh do yourself a favor go

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connect with Cynthia on LinkedIn get plugged in with her community with what she’s building and I hope you really

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take this wisdom to Heart about what really matters as you’re on your journey

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  and remember to ask yourself that question of why not me that’s a big thing I’m taking with me today so as

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always thank you so much for being a listener of She Sells Radio, I will see you on our next episode. Bye for now.