Building Prosperous Relationships with NYT Bestselling Author Randy Garn

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Welcome to She Sells Radio I am beyond excited for the conversation I’m about

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to have today with a new friend of mine Randy Garn and Randy was introduced by a

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mutual friend of ours Steven Scoggins who’s actually going to be coming on the podcast very soon so I just want to give

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him a shout out there and I will say as soon as I connected with Randy and learned about his work I was so blown

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away as I know you will be too and I wanted to do whatever I could do to get him on the show for you this man is uh

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very we don’t use the word busy here Mandy we use the word in demand he is very in demand so

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this is something I’m very grateful to be able to do and for him taking the time today uh and I will say on a

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professional front if you’re not yet familiar with Randy he is the New York Times best-selling author co-author of

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the book Prosper which I’ve been talking about with my clients on social media he’s a founding partner at Prosper Inc

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and he’s also a partner at the high performance Institute and when I was introduced to Randy our friend Stephen

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introduced him to me I think something along the lines of the thought leaders thought leader so if you check out his

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website or his Instagram you’re gonna see that he is working with and spending a lot of time with people you probably

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know and follow like Lewis house Jay Shetty Brennan burchard Tony Robbins Dean graziosi and a lot more and with

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all of that said what I have been so impressed with in the short amount of time I’ve gotten to know him is his

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genuine empathetic and super personal approach to how he builds relationships

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and the work he does as well as just his enthusiasm for life um he’s a father to six children four of which are daughters

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so we’ll try to get some of his thoughts today too on raising girls and what’s that what that has uh taught him as well

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so I know this is going to be an amazing conversation Randy we’re so glad to have you welcome to She Sells Radio

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awesome well thank you for having me Elyse it’s it’s a beautiful day today and I just I love Stephen and anytime he

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says man you got to meet this awesome lady I uh I jump at the opportunity to build new relationships and and see how

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I can serve in any way absolutely well I think we’re going to talk about that some today too because just getting to

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know you and your work you are a master relationship Builder from a place of genuine

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um authenticity from everything that I’ve experienced with you and it’s really powerful so I want to get into

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that too and I want to start though is really talking about transformation so I

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know one of your Specialties is guiding leaders through transformation and our

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community and our audience is all about that personal transformation into the

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most authentic abundant and impactful version of themselves and so I’m just curious to get kicked off what in your

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life got you so interested in helping people through transformation

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man it starts back from my honestly from my childhood days and you know even

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having my own kids I think about this a lot it was in that that age of impact is between the ages of 11 and 14.

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um and my dad was a high school football coach he was you know at the high school with me all the time we had a big Ranch

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and he would always listen to Jim Rome and you know Dennis waitley and Zig

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Ziglar and all of the greats when we would drive out to the ranch um and I think in my mind just being

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able to have some of those really cool things like hey you can become what you want to become you can make good

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decisions like stay happy get in the habit of being happy you know some of the some of the courses I remember just

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listening to me to put them in and we’d listen to him and then we’d talk about him out in the ranch so it’s I think at that young age it really

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helped me to be like I want my life to be a work of art um I want people to know

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that I can be trusted and that I’m I’m going to do the best that I can and I’m committed to Excellence

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I also think it’s like it’s it’s once you get to a really good place is you want to help others I think it’s such a

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natural thing like the real people the real people that are really doing transformational work have actually

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transformed themselves yeah and if you follow great people you know that have

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done that is they help lift and build others up and I think that’s that’s what happens

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with with real transformation it’s an internal thing that you know I try to get myself in

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such a state where I like Tony Robbins says like how to live in a beautiful state that doesn’t mean that you’re it’s all

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lollipop and sunshine all the time but it does mean that you actually see life in a whole different whole different

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view you have a whole different pair of glasses on I’m actually working on some huge stuff right now some big contracts

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and it’s it’s negotiations and it’s and it’s fun and it’s exciting but it’s not

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always like just pure joy and happiness but it’s but it’s a meaningful it’s hard it’s working like it’s that’s

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transformation is is really learning how to stay in a beautiful state at all times and then as a leader helping

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others get there I love that and it’s so I wrote a note about I want my life to be a work of art

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and the piece about the beautiful state that actually changed my life um we were raised in a household way and

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I love both my parents stuff like they’re incredible they were very very book smart very intellectually smart and

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I wasn’t I love that you were introduced to personal development early on my introduction was later in my life

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um and learning some of the things about emotional intelligence and living in the beautiful state it’s life-changing it’s

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absolutely life-changing so um I think you know what you said about can I stay there when I’m negotiating

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this big contract when I’m in a situation that feels tense like that’s the work

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um but that’s so powerful and you say I wanted to speak to you definitely about relationships today because that’s

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something that I think we can all myself included learn so much from you on um you say on your website Randy you say

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one essentially like one of your personal mottos is do as much as you can for as many people as you can as often

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as you can and expect nothing in return and I love that I’m just curious how did

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that how do you see that has gotten you to where you are today and what does that actually look like in your day-to-day life now how do you embody

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that it’s really I mean it really is that was a quote for my dad but it really is the

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rest it’s really living the law of reciprocity um and it really really works

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it’s just amazing and you talk about transformation most people that I know

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are in it for transactional relationships yeah and if you really want to do deep

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meaningful relationships and you really want to snorkel and not just you want to not just

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snorkel with people that scuba dive with them you got to be in get them in a transformational state

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and by doing that you find out totally what what matters to them what impacts

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them and so I think for me it’s like really understanding how to get in the heart and mind and

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body of somebody to help them really become a better human I I love I

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absolutely love coaching I love human growth I love helping my friends and my family like my best friends are the ones

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that will tell me call me on my crap and be tough with me and help me be the better person and that’s kind of friend

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I want to have like those that love you the most that you spend the most time with should be the ones that actually

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will will make you want to be that best person how do we lift and be all build each other up and so those are the best

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friends that I have and so having those type of relationships the type of relationships that I want to

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have are those of authenticity and with those people that you spend the most time with like there’s a there’s a

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weakness that I that I’ve had that two of my friends spent two and a half hours on with me like saying dude if you just

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fix this one thing you’re going to be so much better for like what are you gonna look like when you’re 50 you know I’m not there yet but this is like what kind

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of man do you want to become and those are the kind of friends are like asking me those tough questions and so those

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are the people you want to associate with and so I think as far as relationships go

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you need to really understand like who is your core and I have I had a really

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good Mentor of mine he said Randy you need to write down 25 people that you want to get to know

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that this was after we’d had a you know acquisition of our company and things and I was like hey what do I want to

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become who do I want to know and for me relationships are always the most important in fact the biggest Harvard

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study that’s ever been done thousands of people the hot largest study ever on happiness

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was the very very number one thing was the the depth of relationships

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no and the greatest Joys and the greatest sorrows in our life come within the walls of our

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own homes and with those that are our closest friends and family Ah that’s so true that’s so true and if

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someone is you know I’m curious if someone is listening and they’re hearing they’re hearing this mindset of all

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right the way you approach relationships is to it’s the law of reciprocity like you said just do as much as you can for

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other people with no expectation of return and maybe they’re in a place though where they’re hurting maybe they’re in a

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place where they’re dealing with either scarcity mindset they’re feeling like I one of my biggest goals in life is to

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shift the world of sales and business from one of scarcity and competition to one of generosity and love and abundance

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so there’s so much indoctrination that we have to approach business the old way to be successful so maybe they’ve been

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doing it that way and they’re hearing this and like gosh I want to do that but like I’m in freak out mode about money

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right now I’m in freak out mode about my next sale How do they how do they make that shift how do they

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trust that this is actually the way to approach their life and their business and what they want to do

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um I I 100 know that if especially in your cells or your on on the money side

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is that learn to serve before you sell hmm

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and learn to build those relationships

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because it depends on what cells you’re in too it doesn’t it doesn’t matter

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um you have to really understand what matters to them the most but I always say learn to serve before you sell

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and there’s some really good example of that I was working on a massive contract that’s one of the biggest contracts I’ve

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done and I just wanted to go and get the deal done and and a really good friend of

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mine that I call Brandon Steiner from he’s from Steiner Sports um number one memorabilia you know guy

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in the nation I could grab you know my Yankees things I’ve got memorabilia here I’m a sports guy I love sports and so

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he said hey when you go into his office um Randy don’t just try to close him don’t try to sell him just get to know

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him get to know him look on his walls see what he likes see who he see who he admires and uh I walked into this guy’s

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office this amazing CEO’s office and saw that he loved the Yankees he had a he

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had a thing on the top of his thing and said God made me to be a Yankee you know yeah and and I look and there’s this

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family and he’s got a beautiful son his wife and then another daughter and um

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and I sat down with him I hey you’re a Yankees fan said yeah I’m on The Advisory board with Steiner Sports and

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he’s a good friend have you ever been to a game and he just went off and like we like spent forever and and uh time on on

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that and then I said well hey let’s go to the Yankees game sometime let’s figure things out you know we’d love to

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win your business we’d love to start working together closely on on this fun a really big strategic partnership

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together and you know we spent a lot of time on that and then I Then I then I asked him

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about his family and I just and I just said one thing to him I said I said hey Jim Jim how are you

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hmm they said I’m not doing very good right now my uh my son was just diagnosed with cancer oh

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wow and uh I appreciate you guys coming in and just not trying to talk about business but he’s like I’m I’m really

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struggling right now and uh for me it kind of shifted everything yeah and so

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after that meeting we said man we’re here for you let’s let’s stay in touch Let’s see we can do

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um he said I’ve got another meeting that some other people want to do the business we’re working things out so I

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called Brandon after I said Brandon I did what you said you know let’s get him let’s get Jeter to do a sign back for him or let’s get

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something cool yeah and and he said well tell me how the meeting met tell me what happened I I said no let’s just let’s

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just get him something cool from the Yankees that’s that’s I think that’ll get it he said well tell me what else happened I said well his son’s diagnosed

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with cancer he’s like that’s it let’s do something for his boy let’s do something for his son so when you’re doing

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relationships and we ended up having some a really cool thing that we did for his boy and a son and we’re still close

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friends today and it’s still in his office um and so you just have to think about

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what are the things that really matter most to those customers and clients everybody’s human we all put our pants

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on the same same way and trying to really find out what are those really

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cool unique things that you could build to dive build deep meaningful relationships with somebody so you’re

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just not snorkeling but you’re really scuba diving and doing things I would say never be boring never be predictable

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and that way you’ll always be memorable oh I like that never be boring never be

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predictable and that way you’ll always be memorable you’ll always be memorable I love that I love that

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so you’ve talked a number of times now about just this depth in relationships and it it’s interesting I was going to

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ask you some questions later in the interview but I want to ask you now about this because I think you have a very unique perspective

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probably for most people because of the level of influence you’ve built and the level of influence of your circle and

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the depth of the relationships that you’ve built as well no doubt you come across quite a few

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people who are like they’re trying they’re chasing the fame they’re chasing the celebrity right their their surface

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level you can you can feel it you can tell it um a mile away what do you see what are

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the common denominators and common characteristics of the people that you know who truly rise

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to the top in terms of influence and Lasting influence right you talk about sustainability in your book Prosper so

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that sustainable influence what are some of the common personal characteristics you see amongst those people

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you know a continual stride for excellence um

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a continual strive for wanting to be more and do more

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and recently the people that I surround myself with the most

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the ones that I love the most and the people that I most admire you know once I get to know them is that

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they actually see everyone I think this is one of my gifts

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is that I have a tremendous faith in God and yeah my total belief is that

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we are all we have Divinity in us no matter whether you’re the CEO or the

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Uber driver yeah and so for me it’s like seeing everybody for greatness and and

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the really amazing people that I know when they don’t let things get to them

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they they understand like dude the struggle is the strength the struggle is the growth but on relationships

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specifically those that I actually most admire and myself to is I see every single person as amazing

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and filled with tremendous gifts you never know who the treasure map to the treasure is

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hmm I’m just sitting with that you never know who the treasure map to the treasure is say more about it you never

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know who the treasure map to the treasure is so here’s just a quick example yeah please

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again our business is exploding this 2006 and seven you know we were some of the OG’s

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we had a tremendous large education training company and coaching company you know hundreds of employees and

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explosive growth we had a lot of people that wanted to acquire a company and and do some things we’ve been doing a

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process we’ve got it down to about three people and fly out of New York and we finally chose the one we’re gonna

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actually do the deal with and and build a big partnership with it was going to be life-changing we get to New York we get out of the cab

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we’re running late and for this really really important meeting

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and there’s this lady running with this big huge thing of fruit and she’s trying to get to the same elevator we’re going

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into we’re there with my partners and then our Banker was there too and she runs into the elevator and she

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gets strawberry juice all over this guy’s jacket and his white shirt he loses his mind he’s like what are you

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doing lady are you freaking kidding me what’s wrong with you this soup probably costs more than you make an entire year

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are you serious like he lost his mind wow and I was like no please no I mean listen it’s just a

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suit it’s not and he so all the way up to the 16th floor he was just like berating her and I’m I’m like hey he’s

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our Banker I don’t know him well we hired him on to help us with this whole acquisition we get up to the 16-4 and the whole

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window open the whole room opens up to this huge business this huge company we’ve never been there before

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she’s walking in with this fruit she goes up to the receptionist the reception’s like hey Janet you know Tom

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will see you now we’re gonna we’re the one seeing Tom you know where I’m going yeah yeah I

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mean you just never know so anyways she goes in

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and then the receptionist said hey hold on one second Tom I’ll see you in just a minute you know and then she called us in and

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we go in that office and she’s in there who do you think that person was someone important obviously yeah who was

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she his wife it was his wife oh gosh they’re there to sign the deal

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we’re so sign the documents and he basically said you guys the way that

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you treat my wife I’m very picky about who I do business with you know I appreciate you guys coming all the way

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out to New York but I’m not going to do the deal with you the way that you’ve been treated so yeah that’s a real that’s real I mean that’s what I’m

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saying it’s like you never know who the treasure map to the treasure is you never know who you treat and how you treat other people what that ripple

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effect may be you never know how it will come back around you know I always say like I’d always I

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I’d always be in the situation where I don’t want to ever take advantage of somebody I want to be that kind of man

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where they said Randy Garn was a good man and he never did take advantage of me in any way shape or form and he

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helped me be a better person by transforming my life he gave and he gave and he gave yeah and and you have to be

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in those circumstances and that’s why I try to see everybody as great because you never know

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well who they’re going to become or what they’re going through or what’s happening in their life or how it actually may

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affect you because karma is a real thing I 100 believe in it and so it comes back

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around so that’s just an example of why you should always treat everybody with love and kindness and respect oh my gosh

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yeah well that story is a powerful example of karma right there boom Boomerang right right back so yeah so

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see the Divinity in others I love that we talk about that um with our clients in sales coaching is

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the impression of increase right just always seeing increase for others seeing the greatness and who they are so I love

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how I love how you shared that I want to take a moment there’s so much I want to

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ask you and also I need to honor your time so I want to take a moment and and talk

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about something from your book so this book attracted me for a number

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of reasons I mean one as soon as Steven told me you know I need to connect with you and see what you’re all about I started reading it

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um and I love love love the focus on Prosperity in all areas right so the

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book is Prosper create the life you really want when I look at the content my audience

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is most interested in it’s almost always about abundance Prosperity generosity

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giving so you say in the book there are these six Prosperity practices right or habits

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um that we that we can Embrace in order to live a more prosperous life and so one of them is living in your Prosperity

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Zone and I want to take just a moment to read through how you describe this and then go a little bit deeper here so in

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the book uh you say your Prosperity zone is the place where what you love to do more than anything in the whole world

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also makes you money you are truly in the zone when what makes you money makes you and other people happy and when work

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doesn’t seem like work at all and I read that and I thought okay I

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have not been in the prosperity Zone and I am now grateful to be in the prosperity Zone in my life but I know

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the pain of not being there and so if somebody is listening and they think I’m

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definitely not there in my life right now um You obviously read the book because you talk through how to get there but

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what are some things that they can do to start to find their prosperity Zone if they realize that’s not how they’re

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making money and living right now you know I think you you need to take a

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deep breath and I always say like if you don’t have your strategy on one page you don’t have a strategy hmm

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so for you to get in your Prosperity Zone you have to really have a clear a

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Clear Vision of how you’re going to earn that income that is really aligned with

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what God created you to be and what you know the measure like really measuring up to the measure of your Creation in a

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big way and so a lot of people will will really I I say spend a lot of time on on that

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um so it’s a really prosperity of the three-legged stool it’s it’s the balance between money happiness that we talked

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about and that a lot of big part of those relationships and then sustainability is it good for

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me is it good for others is it good for you know the ecosystem can I do it over long periods of time because if you’re making

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a lot of money and you’re not happy it’s not sustainable right and we all know a lot of people

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that are happy that aren’t making a lot of money so that’s not Prosperity money is a key component happiness is a key

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component and sustainability is a key component and that’s why living in that Prosperity Zone the only way to get

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there is that those three things align and that’s like right in that center of the Venn diagram beautiful so so I think

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spending a lot of time understanding like what drives Joy what are you super good at

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um a good example of that is a really big why we are writing the book we interviewed a really prominent uh

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entertainment attorney that handled I mean people from Michael Jackson to you

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know just humongous artists um he’s making millions of dollars a year

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or he’s traveling all over to the these Red Carpet Events and everything he was

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miserable hmm his next door neighbor had a car detailing business that he did with his

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kids from 5am to three and then never missed a baseball game they made great money but they had a detailing card

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detailing franchise his kids were involved with me he’s doing that he was making money super happy and he

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loved it and they ended up like continuing to to build that business up but the entertainment attorney told me

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and my partner I would do anything that I could to Swain to to live his life wow

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I don’t have a relationship with my kids my marriage is a disaster I’m making great money everybody thinks I’m doing

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all these great things but inside of hollow so you have to really understand what Prosperity means and ensure that

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you’re okay we only live one time at least like we only live one time on this

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Earth so you’ve got to get real clear on who you’re going to do stuff with how you’re

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going to accomplish it and it isn’t making an impact so powerful

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that’s so powerful and that’s something another conversation for another day but I um I relate to and I understand

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building up the life that you think is going to make you really happy and doing all the outer things for success and

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realizing it’s complete like it’s empty without those other elements as well so

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I think if someone is wanting to really integrate you know the happiness piece

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the sustainability piece and the money right because you’re not saying don’t go make money you’re saying yeah make plenty of money right we we love that

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and that’s important and adding in those two other elements is is where it’s at and what is most important

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I want to ask you uh two two final questions here I think we should have hopefully have time for both so coming

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back to the thought leadership piece Randy so there is so much on the horizon

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with thought leadership that’s changing right and I was I was speaking with a colleague not too long ago who was he

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was talking about how he had used chat GPT to write the framework for his whole next book and so I’m so curious with

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what you do and with uh you know just the impact that you’re making what do

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you see with the future of thought leadership given the current environment and what’s coming down the pipe so you

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know it’s it’s so easy now to use AI to write amazing articles or create great content or help create your personal

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brand so where do you see things going and what do you think is going to last what is going to be most important

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moving forward in your opinion I think I think I mean you hit it right on the head of the beginning of this is

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that there’s a really good book that was written in 1990s um called The Experience economy by

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Joseph Pine and I he he actually said this is where

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we’re going that we’re going to go from you know Commodities to Goods to services to experiences right

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so a lot of things in the thought leadership space is taking us to experiences and

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and like what are the type of life experiences that we’re having he said there’s another phase that’s coming and

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it is really the transformation stage and that’s where you really that’s where

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a true thought leader and a through a real individual will take you places you never thought possible and will

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literally change your life to be better and so even with chat gbt if you’re

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using that great like if it’s doing stuff to improve humankind and Mankind I’m all for it you know so I don’t think

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there’s so you have to think about that if you go from a good yeah good could be my book you know a service could be

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coaching an experience could be coming fly fishing with me or doing a live Mastermind or an event that’s that’s

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what I’m talking about and every time you go up in those levels there’s more value driven and you can charge more

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price okay that makes sense that makes sense yeah the fourth level is transformation where

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it’s like I never ever ever this they become your disciple they never ever want to leave you because you have

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changed people’s lives that is where the real like and I think Tony’s done that amazing he is transformational like when

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you go to upw or date with Destiny or whatever hey like you chick like something changes in you if you’re

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willing to do that and I always think there’s two times there’s two types of people those that love to learn and those that actually take action and will

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apply the learning so that’s where you’ve got to get the learner you’ve got to be so good at training that you can

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train that learner to transform so I think it’s important to understand if they like you they’ll listen to you

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if they trust you they’ll buy from you if they have an experience with you they’ll never leave you but if they if you transform their life

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they will become a massive disciple and refer like crazy and that’s how you grow your business that’s the sustainability

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that we want to get to super powerful that’s super powerful and that’s it’s an interesting perspective

28:18

we started talking more about AI on the show and what that looks like but we haven’t talked about kind of that ladder

28:23

right of value and where it ties in and where it makes sense so I think for those who have been concerned about you

28:30

know how much is this going to replace what I’m doing where my value is it’s well if you can provide that true transformation for people that’s not

28:37

something that’s replaceable not replacing right yeah oh powerful yeah uh

28:43

final question for you and then I’d love to share where everyone can connect with you so I told you before we hit record

28:48

when I have men on the show I love to give them the opportunity to give a

28:53

shout out to a special woman in their life and you mentioned your wife Charlotte and um I’m sure she’s an

28:58

amazing lady I would just love to know from you what’s the number one life lesson that you have learned Randy from

29:04

Charlotte man she is just consistent I mean one of

29:10

the things that really attracted to me is she’s gorgeous she’s beautiful inside and out but she’s also just so

29:16

consistent um she’s an amazing mom you know I asked her I asked her I was actually speaking

29:22

in our church and I asked her a question I was like Hey Char do you believe in angels you know I wanted to know because we I do yeah I said hey do you believe

29:29

in angels guys are preparing for this and she’s like heck yes I believe in angels you live with one every single day me

29:36

I like this woman I love her confidence I love her sassiness you know she’s she

29:42

loves everyone she all she wants to be around you and she’s been just an amazing to build a company but she’s

29:47

just an amazing mom she’s amazing amazing business partner life partner and she really is my best friend there’s

29:54

nobody else that I’d rather be than hang out with her yeah that’s that’s the way to do it that’s where it’s at so shout

30:01

out to her that’s awesome hey thank you so much um this was an incredible conversation there are so many places

30:06

where I know we could go deeper but I feel like we hit on so many valuable

30:11

points here so um Randy if someone wants to connect further can you tell them where to go to get the book and to learn more about the

30:17

work you do and how to connect with you yeah they can just go to Randy garland.com and I’m there amazing all

30:24

right thank you so much I appreciate it absolutely yeah and to you my listener

30:29

thank you so much for tuning in connect with Randy online go to randygarn.com get his book prosper and when you talk

30:35

about transformation it really will transform how you think about the way you live the way you work the way you make your money so thank you as always

30:42

for being a listener of She Sells Radio I’ll see you on our next episode bye for now thanks