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Wealthy & Worthy Part 1

Welcome to a special episode featuring a recording from our recent live event, “Wealthy and Worthy.” This heartfelt and inspiring event is a testament to the transformative power of inner work and the pursuit of worthiness. As we navigate the journey towards our dreams and aspirations, it’s not uncommon to encounter barriers rooted in feelings of unworthiness. This live event is a shifting point—a space where we confront these challenges head-on and reclaim our sense of worthiness.

In this episode, you’ll hear raw and honest discussions about the common struggles many of us face when it comes to feeling worthy of our desires, especially in regards to wealth and success. From personal anecdotes to thought-provoking insights, each segment of this event offers valuable wisdom and actionable strategies for overcoming worthiness blocks and stepping into our true potential.

Throughout the recording, you’ll discover the interconnectedness between our inner beliefs and outer realities. Whether it’s unraveling the root causes of unworthiness or redefining our relationship with abundance, every conversation is a profound exploration of self-discovery and empowerment.

As you listen to these recordings, we invite you to reflect on your own journey and consider the ways in which worthiness plays a role in your pursuit of success. And if you find resonance in these discussions, be sure to stay connected by joining our email list to receive updates about future events and resources.


Show Notes:

[4:04] – One of the things that held me back for years was not feeling worthy of the level of income I desired.

[11:46] – Challenges or bumps on the road are always tied to the things we want. Are you willing to show up and do what it takes?

[14:21] – When you elevate, it is extended to the people in your life, too.

[20:25] – This just doesn’t just apply to your business results. How we do one thing is how we do everything.

[26:03] – On the outside, we may appear like we have it all together.

[28:26] – No matter what I did, I could never increase my income, because I didn’t feel worthy of it.

[34:11] – A quantum leap will happen when it feels natural to you. What is your set point?

[37:38] – Any strategy can work, but it’s about your belief and the strategy’s alignment.

[40:30] – Why do most people never achieve their goals?

[42:24] – The world will only value you based on your own value of yourself.

[45:22] – If you don’t do the inner work to feel valid, worthy, and abundant before the money comes in, you won’t be able to hold it.

[49:04] – Listen to the symptoms of a worthiness wound.

[51:26] – We should be setting goals that force us to expand.

[53:23] – There are three core worthiness blocks.

[55:14] – Check and see where you are having difficulty or holding back from receiving.

[60:01] – We choose to do nothing when we think we aren’t worthy of something.

[63:00] – How does scarcity mindset play into self-worth?

[67:49] – What is your relationship with your breath?

[77:11] – Many people will not invest in themselves until they’ve reached a certain point financially.

[80:06] – It happens when it’s a must.

[84:51] – What you want is right there. You have to go get it.

[86:59] – Take a journaling moment to reflect on where you are holding back.

[95:00] – Listen to coaching questions from the live event.


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Welcome to She Sells Radio this is going to be such a fun episode because I get to bring to you one of my clients one of


my dear friends who I have gotten to witness do some pretty incredible things


over the past few years including publish his first book which is called inner sales child unlocking sales


success by tapping in childhood wisdom which if you’re watching this video on YouTube you can see him holding it up so


cool David Ray welcome to She Sells Radio it’s such an honor to have you and


your book is incredible I’ve been reading through it um preparing for this and I just I love how you are bringing


people back to the truth of H of who they are and how that can positively influence their sales process so I’m


super excited to have this conversation with you today awesome thank you so much Elyse I can’t tell you how much I


appreciate being here today but also your support encouragement and belief in


me uh for those who don’t know I have been working with Elyse for a number of years and she has seen the Genesis of


this idea and to be able to see it through its conclusion and to see what’s next and we’ll talk a little bit about


that today I couldn’t be more excited so thank you oh my gosh it’s this is so fun so you know what I want to just Dive


Right In because I feel like as I was reading through the book it’s it’s super actionable and so almost every line I


was reading I’m like man that could be a question that could be a question so I want to dive in and and pull out some of


the core themes that you talk about so our listeners can get the most out of this and one of the core themes


obviously is authenticity in sales and know I I I know the word authenticity


can get thrown around a lot and people like oh what is it am I you know how much does it matter but here’s what you


say which I think is so true is that people buy from people they know and trust and the first step toward creating


trust is being ourselves and here’s what I know


is that that can be hard for people to do I think most everyone on the planet


has a point in their life where they realize there’s a gap between how they’re showing up on the outside and


how they feel like they have to be the image they have to portray to be successful to be safe Etc versus who


they really are on the inside and how they really feel about themselves and so in sales oh my gosh I mean this can be


even more intense because we either feel like a lot of times as women we feel like we have to be perfect


or you may feel like you’ve got to know all the answers and put on a front in order to be successful so why isn’t that


the case and I don’t know how big of a question this is maybe this becomes the entire interview who knows but how do we


overcome that if we don’t feel comfortable being 100% ourselves yet no


so lots to unpack there um you know a few things just to to get out you know from the start you’re absolutely right


and I’m glad you picked up on that is being kind of the central theme of the book um for me what was such a challenge


early in my career is I felt the need to have a personal identity and a professional identity I felt like I


needed to come across a different way you know at work in front of clients in front of co-workers and that really


created this divide in Who I Really Am versus how I was perceived by so many people that I was working with and that


ultimately created that impostor syndrome that you hear so much about you


know within a lot of work um what I’ve you know often found though is you know when you look at sales and you look at


success and what do you need for not just immediate success but sustainable success it really does come down to that


authenticity and establishing our Rapport creating trust you know differentiating yourself those are all


key aspects of a success successful sale there’s a tongue twister but they’re all linked to authenticity so think of you


know who are you why are you doing this what makes you different and also how


can you make others feel because that’s a big key it’s not just about what can you sell them how can you come across


what kind of feeling what kind of uh emotion are you going to you know evoke you know within them you because you


want to make them feel heard invalidated understood appreciated you want them to


feel like you know you are present and that you are their only client when you’re speaking with them you you don’t


want it to feel like this is a sale in fact something my grandfather father pop for those who haven’t read the book he


is a key character uh within my book and one of the reasons that I am in sales


today one of the big things that pop used to always say is when it comes to sales don’t try to sell anything just


provide value just try to find ways to help people overcome a problem that


they’re having if it happens to lead to something that you can help with that ultimately turns into a sale fantastic


but if you lead with that value Centric mindset of just trying to help people and make their lives better it makes you


feel more fulfilled it also lowers the barrier of entry with your potential client because they don’t feel you know


always on guard like they have to protect themselves from here’s the pushy salesman coming in they just see a


friend a you know a colleague you know oftentimes who really just wants to help


and to me I think that’s a a really important aspect of sales that often gets overlooked is you know don’t try to


sell just allow it to happen naturally create an environment where a sale can happen rather than forcing


something I want to come back to that because you talk about that in the book too that was actually a question I wanted to ask I’m glad you brought that


up you know I think about as you’re talking about this when I first got into


sales and I was in my early 20s and um selling yellow pages to start so I


always feel like a dinosaur when I say that moved on to yeah right moved on to digital media and did well in that but I


just remember feeling like I had to be someone completely different than who I was and


being really motivated to be successful and top of the leaderboard um but just


feeling this massive Gap in the image I was putting out versus how I was feeling


inside and it wasn’t until I did some of the work that you now that you teach and that you talk about in the book and


really it’s it’s kind of a returning to who you really are at your core and realizing that that person those ele


ments that we had and that we embraced maybe as kids or when we were younger that we put away or that we thought


would it make us successful whether it’s the Curiosity the play The Connection relationships


creativity that when we return to that we can actually create far more sustainable success but I’m and that


really helped me make that shift and it’s certainly been a journey but I’m just thinking about for someone


listening who and maybe they’re like they’re like me and they’re like I was in my early 20s and I was just


like you know the Gap felt so huge where do you where would you even


start if you feel like you’re if someone’s listening and they’re saying holy moly okay I know there’s a gap but


I don’t I don’t feel safe being myself with other people I don’t think I could be successful I don’t like parts of


myself where would we even start with that yeah so a couple of interesting things there um


and really what you touched on is fear and and fear is something that held me


back for a long period of time within my own career it actually held me back from telling this story I have been sitting


on inner sales child uh inside of me for 15 almost 20 years because I was scared


and what was I scared of I was scared of judgment I was scared of rejection I was scared of failure um I actually came


across this quote I just wanted to to read quickly um watching uh movies uh a


week or so ago and it’s a movie After Earth with Will Smith and it talks about fear and I think this really kind of


hits you know right on the head you know what fear is so he says fear is not real


the only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future it is a product of our imagination causing us to


fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist that is near Insanity


now do not misunderstand me danger is very real but fear is a choice o that


really kind of hit home with me because I I recognized I was worrying so much about something that hadn’t even


happened yet I was playing all these scripts you know from you know people


are going to hate this they’re going to judge me they’re going to think that I’m a failure this message isn’t going to


resonate and there was so much of me in this book so much of me my family my thoughts my my own fears that I happily


shared I didn’t want to be judged but what I came to realize you know as a


couple things one again fear isn’t real I can choose to succumb to this emotion


or I can power through it and actually help create you know the reality that I seek but the other thing I’ve noticed


since sharing all of this even through the process of creating as well as after the book came out people only judge when


they haven’t done what you are trying to do if if they’ve actually done the work


and if they’ve actually gone through the same thing they’re not going judge you for it they’re going to empathize with you they’re going to support you they’re


going to inspire you they’re going to validate yes me too I feel this let’s let’s you know work together on this let


me see how I can help you maybe we can help each other you know through this process so don’t run away from that fear


recognize that there are more people that are in the same boat you know than you may realize it’s kind of like uh


when we were in elementary school and you would always have a question everyone always had a question question


but you were scared to ask the question and you were so happy when someone else asked the question because you had that


same question you just didn’t want to raise your hand and ask it and be viewed as oh well he doesn’t know but it it’s


very much the same thing go out and try it go out and you know speak a lot of the stuff into existence show up as


yourself have the confidence to do that because by doing that not only are you stepping into the life you want you are


inspiring others whether you realize it or not to do the same wow yeah and I


think it it it speaks directly to authenticity as well because we lose our authenticity when our Focus gets


distorted and gets focused on what others going to think what are they going to say I love what you said about


the Judgment piece that people only judge when they haven’t done what you’re doing and often when they want to do


what you’re doing but they haven’t done it yet and I is it pree brown who talks about in the arena I think it was a


Teddy Roosevelt original quote but was talking about are the people in the arena with you cuz they’re never going


to be the ones who judge they’re going to be the ones who uplift and support and yeah anyone who judges is jealous


right they want to do what you’re doing and they’re they’re projecting that so I’m glad you you did that work to get


this out into the world right because you and I were talking in the pre-chat about just everything that’s happening for you maybe we’ll talk about that at


the end so if um if someone is listening and they’ve been sitting on writing


their book or getting their message out into the world they can maybe hear just even early on some of the doors that are


opening up for you now that you’ve launched this work because it’s powerful but I want to ask I want to I want to go


a little deeper first you mentioned this earlier and I think this is a a really


interesting dialogue to have so you talk about making the shift from making a


sale happen to creating an environment where a sale can happen so can you speak to that a little bit more and what do


you mean by that sure so you’ve touched on this a little bit you know already um you know in in


our interview today but something that you and I have actually spoken at length about in the past masculine energy


versus feminine energy um when you first mentioned it to me years ago I had no


clue what you’re talking about I’m thinking I’m a man I’m in sales I’m just going to go through and just do what I


do you know and what I’ve since you know come to realize is the importance of


being more empathetic being more open having a softer side if you will to to


sales you know buying or finding a way to connect with people at a more meaningful deeper level rather than


trying to construct a sale um the engineering mindset that I had and for


those uh who don’t know my story I actually started as an engineer in my career I was always good at science and


math and it was just natural to go into that it wasn’t until I had a VP of sales at a company I worked for that


recognized maybe I had a little something extra that he took a chance on me in a sales role that I started you


know down my sales Journey but early on I tried to take more of that rigid Force


sales process check all the boxes if you do this you will be successful in sales


approach not saying that that’s necessarily bad or wrong but you have to temper that with a more emotional


connection connection you know with your clients you have to be able to understand that when you talk to a


client especially in a B2B sales like I am in they have a business pain but they


also have a personal motivation for why they do what they do um maybe it’s to advance within their career maybe it’s


you know to to get you know that you know higher visibility and validation that they’ve always wanted maybe they


want to you know change and go in a different direction but you know what whatever it may be tapping into not just


the business motivation but the personal motivation can really help win them over as a champion and a long-standing client


so trying to temper how we do sales and understand that if you’re you know


female and are looking to you know improve your sales maybe you need to embrace a little bit more of the


masculine energy you know into your approach but if you’re you know a man looking to to go into sales what I have


found is creating that open environment of trust trust and understanding has


been you know far more beneficial and productive for me in sales than just


trying to go in knock a door open and make a sales happen yeah which is so


much of how I was raised early on in sales how I think a lot of us are especially if you come from a more


hardcore sales background and it’s so um it’s it’s all about the result which obviously we need to have a result right


we we need to have that um but to your point d what I I love about what you shared and I especially appreciate from


the perspective of a man speaking to integrating that masculine and feminine energy because even women when I mention


that a lot of times they’re like what are you talking about that was my response uh the first time I heard that


I thought it was strange and out there and I thought what does this have to do with my success um and for men too they


they often have that same response and what is so powerful is we all have both


types of energies in us right but m masculine is goal oriented it’s outcome


driven it’s the process it’s the result which is important and and then feminine is more about me masculine is the end


result feminine is about the process it’s about the journey it’s about the experience it’s relational um I think


our society has gotten completely wrapped up


in what’s the result and we we don’t even pay attention to the process that gets us there and I was I was moved when


our almost four-year-old now it’s just crazy he’s in monu and I was learning about the Monas training curriculum and


when a kid makes a piece of art in a lot of schooling or in I just even when I


was growing up like what’s the feedback that they get when they share it with someone else it’s like oh that’s


beautiful or oh that’s not that good it’s all about the result but the question that the teachers ask in


Monas is what was it like for you to make that how was the experience of


making it and it’s not about the result like the result will take care of itself so to


your point I was just thinking about that while you shared that concept of the creating the environment where the sale can happen it’s let’s let’s focus


on not just the result but also what’s the process like to get there and how


can we create the best possible process and experience along the way that will


if we focus on the right things create ultimately enough sales to you know for us to hit our goals and Beyond


so aside there yeah anything you would add to that yeah so I I I think that’s a perfect marriage between the masculine


and The Feminine because you can actually do all of that goal oriented metric based you know process creation


but you can actually do it alongside your client to make sure that their feelings their expectations are a part


of that and it creates this really great collaboration that I think strengthens a


relationship yeah absolutely I love do yeah coming alongside the client being the adviser definitely you know you


share I was laughing as I read this story and knowing you I thought oh yeah I bet he did this but it made me laugh


you share a story um about as a child taking the telephone apart which I’m thinking now if I saw one of kids taking


a you know obviously a different type of telephone but taking it apart I would say what is going on so anyway shout out


to your parents because they obviously supported you but you took it apart then you meticulously put put it back


together with fewer parts and that that I think inspired or helped introduce


some of the concepts of efficiency and I know that’s something that you’re big on I know that’s something that you coach


and consult clients on as well in your work and I think today obviously so many


distractions so many interruptions unneeded but sometimes feelingly needed


operational work and part of the sales process how do we how do we start to get


more efficient in our work and I know that could be a dayong seminar but maybe just one or two pointers that you can


share for someone who wants to become more efficient in their sales process sure so I think first and foremost it


starts with having a process you have to have something documented down you understand what steps you’re taking on a


regular basis once you have that recorded then you can do some work to


unpack how is this furthering the sales process is it pushing it Forward is it


effective or are you just spinning wheels are you wasting time and what I mean by that is there’s a lot of tried


andrue sales methodology out there and I’m not sitting here hating on process by any stretch but just because it


happens to live in a book or this is what you know so and so’s manager said this is what you need to do to be


successful in sales it may no longer serve you or it may work for other people but it just doesn’t resonate with


who you are in your particular approach so it’s important to take the time to look at what activities are you doing


what are you doing with regularity which ones are working once you figure out which ones are working so that would be


your Effectiveness then you can go one step further and start looking how are you doing those effective things are you


doing it in an efficient manner are there some steps that you can cut out maybe there are some different tools you


can Implement maybe there’s an opportunity to hire an assistant to Outsource some work um you know maybe


effective scheduling so you’re not traveling all over the place you know meeting with different clients you can


meet more within the central location so all different types of things that you can do to make the effective things more


efficient but it starts with understand the process understand which things are effective then you can really work in


the efficiency side of things I think far too often people immediately say I need to be more efficient and they start


on that side and that’s where they really get tripped up without starting to look first at


well what actually matters and moves the needle and then how do I become more efficient in those things yeah it’s the


it’s the 8020 rule right which is very eye openening if we do that and look and I did this a while back and I realized


there’s like three core things out of maybe 15 or 20 General types of things


that I do every day that have actually created most of the revenue for our company and so when you look at that and


everyone has the same scenario you just have to look at it but if you can look at that and hone in on those vital few


those one to three maybe core effective things you do and then and this is the


part I haven’t done yet or haven’t thought about intentionally which I’m excited to how do I make those core few


more efficient things start to get exciting and probably start to multiply right so


yeah yeah something else interesting and I know you’ve shared this multiple times since we’ve spoken but also on your your


social sales doesn’t have to be this long drawn out time consuming you know


24 by7 grind no you know we really can


you know reduce everything down to its core elements just a few simple things


that you need to do to be successful in sales and you know you can really focus on you know like you said that 8020 rule


just get really clear and tight on that process really drive the efficiency there and you’ll find you’ll open up so


many opportunities you know to to do other things just so much more time available maybe you reinvest that back


in your business to further grow it maybe you look at you know other elements of your life you know personal or professional that you want to invest


in as well so um definitely uh you know does not have to be you know that I’m


busy all the time I’m stressed out and I don’t know what to do next I don’t have time for this if you feel that you’re in


sales and you don’t have time to do anything else it’s a really good indication that you need to take a look


at your process and start to figure out which things are just wasting your time because there are a lot of time waste


when it comes to sales huge absolutely huge and and I think the other thing too


for someone to look at if they resonate with that is the whole busyness is a badge of honor thing to me it’s a it’s a


cover up for insecurity it’s a cover up for inadequacy raising my hand to someone who used to use it um it’s a


it’s let me be so busy so I feel like I’m in demand so I feel like I’m valued and um and really that’s it’s a great


opportunity for some inner work around that too and you talk about this in the book it’s about working smarter not


harder and um but that’s a shift we have to make in ourselves so um I want to ask


one final question before we tell people where they can get the book and how they can connect with you further you know


you mentioned pop a little bit earlier in the interview but I know he was such a big influence on your life and was my


guy he was your guy yeah I know and even when you and I were coaching together


like I know we talk about him a lot and his influence and his um energy in your life even now right so I think it’s


powerful what you’re doing to continue his legacy through this work but just giving you know honoring him uh through


this interview what would you say is the number one life lesson that you learned from pop that you’re grateful you


learned I’m going to give you two because I know this is a little bit more from a professional slant and I want to


make sure we touch on that because there there is one from from that but from a personal standpoint Family First that


that is the greatest lesson I learned from him he always made time for his family no matter how busy he was no


matter what he was doing everything he did from a professional stpoint it was always family focused he always knew no


matter what he was doing that was his why that that was the core to who he is that no matter how stressed he may have


gotten during a day uh no matter how busy he may have gotten no matter how far he could have been taken away from


his family just you know with meetings or business travel what have you he did everything for his family and with his


family and mine so that was a key foundational element of who he was at its core and that’s something that I


have certainly embraced and I try to live my life you know as such yeah the


other thing and I’ve touched on this already and it’s how you make someone


feel is more important than what you sell know why we like to think that our


product or our service is revolutionary or the most amazing thing ever at the end of the day it’s how how do you make


someone feel do you make them feel you know important validated understood you


know are you helping them you know at the end of the day you know are they you


know in a better place you know because of you and do they feel comfortable reaching out to you even if it’s hey I


don’t know if you can help me with this but I know you and I trust you can can you just give me your thoughts and


perspective that that type of dynamic you know seeing him embody that every


time he would go meet with a customer and I was lucky enough to be alongside him to see that that’s what I’ve tried


to tap into my entire sales career oh that’s powerful well I think his his


legacy right leaving some of those lessons behind along with a lot of others is um it’s very cool that others


will get to learn from him and take some of those lessons like you did getting to Shadow him actively just through reading


your book and you are now creating your own legacy with this work and with


impacting um a lot of lives with it so share let’s do this because I want you to share where people can connect with


you and how they can get the book I also would love if you could share for a minute because you’re doing some really cool coaching Consulting speaking and um


maybe even just share for I would love for anyone who’s sitting on writing their own book hasn’t launched it yet to


maybe hear how things have manifested quickly for you with this um as a result


of the book so if you don’t mind sharing that too I think that would be great for people to hear no happily and and thank


you for this opportunity so to connect with me uh the best ways currently our


Instagram uh at David Ray uh my LinkedIn as well that’s a great way to connect


with me as well as send me an email David bl-


the reason I say currently is I am in development of my website for blue Derby


Consulting and it’s an umbrella that I’m using to launch a number of different


Endeavors that have really all been inspired by and created by the launch of


inner sales child things such as sales training uh


speaking engagements um I had uh a group do a book club you know on inner sales


out and they invited me to come out and speak on that um I have been Drafting


and developing a new series of monthly newsletters to help not just sales reps but also sales managers increase


engagement with their sales teams you know by providing them a monthly theme with some key topics some rhetorical


questions to help Drive engagement as well as some links to some outside sources that I think May supplement a


lot of their sales meetings because what I found like a lot of salespeople these weekly sometimes


monthly sales meetings they’re really dry boring a lot of people don’t engage it’s oftentimes they’re being talked at


this is a great way for them to have a much more open collaborative discussion on topics that are Central to improving


different aspects of sales so I’m really happy about you know launching that as well um so be on the lookout for blue


dash I’m hoping to have that launched within the next few weeks and uh really look forward to getting that


out there to just evangelizing the message of authenticity and how tapping


back into our authentic selves our unique approach what makes us different


can really be the path forward you know to success you know within sales yeah


and for those who are interested in inner sales child as the book it is available now as ebook as well as


paperback on Amazon uh at the recommendation and gentle nudging of a


lot of friends and family I’m in the process of recording an audio version of


that as well talk about stepping out of your comfort zone good for you people


need it yeah they they really do need it and what I found is I’m very audiobook focused as well especially when I have


windshield time and at first I was thinking oh well I’ll just you know let some service read this no it it has to


be me this is my story no one’s going to tell like I would so um starting the


process of getting that done which the cool part is not just the work on the


blue Derby side I’m already uh planning out my next book so part of this whole


creative process it’s inspired me in so many different ways I see so many different opportunities which it’s


interesting you talk about how quickly things can manifest because as I told you I sat on telling this story for many


years out of fear when I finally got around to doing it doors and


opportunities just started opening up for me things that I never even dreamed about so what I would tell anyone if you


have a story to tell a picture to paint a song to sing a business to start what


whatever it may be even if you don’t know how to get from A to Z it doesn’t


matter just start it don’t wait for the right time don’t wait for someday someday never comes there’s no someday


on the calendar trust me I’ve I’ve looked for it just go ahead and start and just recognize that it’s going to


change you and change everyone around you for the better in ways that you can’t even possibly imagine so please


just just do it yeah oh my gosh what a great what a great tone to complete on I


really um I’m just so happy and excited for you with what you’ve done with this book it really is powerful I encourage


everyone go get go get a card copy get the Audi book once that’s available


that’s that’s super exciting and that’s a great Act of service on your part to do that and the lessons that you’ll take


from it will they’ll they’ll help you not just in sales but in life we’ll put it that way as well so um David thank


you so much for coming on today and for sharing your wisdom and just again huge congrats on the launch of the book it’s


really exciting awesome no at least thank you so much um I can’t thank you


again for just all the help all the support all the inspiration you over the past few years and more importantly the


friendship I I I really do appreciate that and I would be remiss if I didn’t say congratulations on permission to be


powerful so as one author to the next I’m very happy it’s fun to launch a book


isn’t it it’s almost surreal when you see your name on Amazon for the first time and you’re like whoa the first time


I I ordered my copy and I actually held it in my hands it’s one of the most powerful


feelings I’ve ever felt to know that I created this yes oh my gosh I know that feeling I feel exactly the same way it’s


so cool um well to you my listener I know you enjoyed this conversation um


and you got so much out of what David had to share so we will link all of his contact information in the show notes go


check out the book go get the book connect with David on LinkedIn check out his website and um I really really trust


that your is inspired from this conversation as I was as always thank you so much for being a listener of She


Sells Radio and I’ll see you on the next episode bye for now

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