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Helping Women in Sales Thrive with Tara Ryan


In today’s episode, we have a special conversation with another amazing individual who is changing the game for women in sales. Tara Ryan joins me today and this interview proves that as a woman, you can grow your sales in a way that feels amazing, creates next level results, and is fully aligned with your values. And for those in leadership, how can you equip the women on your team? Tara shares actionable steps to take in your career and organization to build fulfilment and success.


Tara Ryan is the founder of Infinidei where she partners with companies and sales leaders to build more diverse, equitable, and inclusive sales cultures for women. Helping leaders celebrate the differences women bring to the team while inspiring equity and encouraging each woman that she has infinite opportunity to shine. Tara is an IPEC certified coach who guides females in sales to reclaim their courage and confidence, giving them the power to make choices that serve them and to help them remove boundaries and barriers so they can achieve greatness in every facet of their lives.


Listen to her personal stories and examples from client experiences on how to thrive in the sales world as a woman.


Show Notes:

[2:50] – Welcome to the show, Tara!

[3:23] – When she first got into sales, Tara had a hard time grappling with the fact that she was a salesperson because of the stigma.

[4:46] – After spending time in leadership, she stepped out to partner with other companies to stop using fear and scarcity in sales leadership.

[6:22] – How can I have a family and grow my career in sales?

[8:50] – A common concern is that once successful, some women are fearful that they can’t have a family and continue working successfully.

[11:10] – Tara shares a story of a woman she is working with that demonstrates success at a cost.

[12:17] – Who are you showing up for? Do your actions serve you?

[14:32] – It is a misconception that working more hours means more success.

[17:10] – One of Tara’s own mentors is an “always on” worker but shares that his work style stressed her out. She had to be true to herself.

[19:12] – Tara shares what gave her the courage to have this conversation with her mentor.

[20:38] – How much of your self worth is tied to your revenue?

[21:34] – It is hard not to attach self worth to money if you do not have clearly defined goals and values.

[24:16] – Tara shares an example from her own experiences that proves that clearly defined goals and “filling her cup” increased her sales.

[26:47] – By tapping into her passion and putting it out there, one of Tara’s clients wouldn’t have been offered a better fit position and higher pay.

[29:01] – Elyse discovered that feminine energy was better aligned in 30 day cycles.

[30:28] – There are two types of energy – constructive and deconstructive.

[32:40] – Tara describes one coaching tip to shift energies.

[33:43] – It is okay to be in deconstructive energy if it is serving you.

[35:39] – Take the next best step. Map the smaller goals to the greater goals.


Links and Resources:

Instagram  |  LinkedIn  |  YouTube

She Sells with Elyse Archer Home Page

Register for the Sedona Retreat with Elyse


Connect with Tara:


Instagram  |  LinkedIn

Infinidei Website

Elyse Archer (00:02):

Welcome to shoe sales radio. I am so excited for today’s conversation and I just, I love working with and learning from other women who are changing the game for women in sales. And so today’s conversation is a really special interview. It’s going to be all about how you as a woman can grow your sales in a way that feels amazing to both you and your customers, um, creates next level results. And then also if you’re in sales, leadership and woman non-binary, I don’t care. How can you equip the women on your team to sell more powerfully? So before we get into the interview, though, I want to just remind you that if you’re listening to the audio version of this podcast, be sure to subscribe to she sells radio on your favorite podcast player. And if you’re watching the video on YouTube, hit the red subscribe button to make sure that you don’t miss any of our episodes.

Elyse Archer (00:54):

And then also you’ll be able to see my daily morning sales supercharged live streams that way. So, okay. Let’s talk about who my guest is today. My guest is Tara Ryan. She’s the founder of infinity and it’s such a cool company. I’m so excited to bring her to you today. Uh, she partners with companies and sales leaders to help them build more diverse, equitable, and inclusive sales cultures for women, and really focuses on helping leaders celebrate the differences that women bring to the team while also inspiring equity and encouraging every woman that she has the opportunity to shine. She is an epic certified coach. And if you know anything about coaching certifications, that’s like the Mac daddy of certifications. So this woman is incredible. She guides women in sales to reclaim their courage and confidence, giving them the power to make choices that serve them and help them remove boundaries and barriers so they can achieve greatness in every facet of their lives. So Tara, welcome to shoe sales radio. We are so excited to have you today.

Tara Ryan (01:54):

Elise, thank you for that intro. That was amazing. I’m so happy and grateful to be here.

Elyse Archer (02:00):

Oh my gosh. Well I just feel like, you know, our hearts are both so aligned in helping women in sales and I know, you know, you’ve had quite a journey that got you here and you’ve got 10 plus years in the sales world too. And so I would love if you could share some of your backstory of what inspired you to create infinity.

Tara Ryan (02:17):

Yes. So like you mentioned, I have been in sales for most of my career and it’s, it’s interesting because when I first got into sales, I’m sure you’ve had this conversation with others in your podcasts. I didn’t even feel like I was in sales, right. Like I almost had this hard time grappling with the fact that I was a salesperson because of the stigma around sales, what it means, how you’re supposed to act all of those things. Um, and then I started to realize, you know, both through the experiences of working with customers, some of the mentors that I had, the managers that really the best salespeople are those that look at it as helping others, you know, and really understanding other people’s challenges, listening to them, um, and then mapping those skills back to the product or service that you’re selling. Right. So when I started to look at it that way, I was like, okay, yeah, those are some of my natural talents, I guess.

Tara Ryan (03:25):

Um, and so I think I started infinity. So I had a long career, both as an individual contributor and then a sales leader. And I realized that, you know, there still are a lot of those stigmas in place around sales. There still are a lot of leaders that use tactics, like fear to motivate their team, um, and scarcity to motivate their team. And I have never felt aligned with that. So I thought that there was a real opportunity for me to help organizations and individuals, um, see that that’s not the only way to succeed to see that they really truly can tap into their authentic way of selling and be successful. And so that’s what my company stands for.

Elyse Archer (04:14):

Yeah. I absolutely love that. And I think when you talk about like the, how frequently scarcity is used in fear is used, like, I didn’t even know that there was anything else for so long. And I remember in my own sales journey, like feeling, I was constantly in scarcity, even though I was like making sales and doing well, I was constantly in scarcity and fear of, you know, what would happen if I didn’t hit quota one month and yada, yada, it’s just like, the stuff is it’s systemic. And a lot of times it just is so ingrained in a culture that we don’t even realize. I don’t think people do it intentionally, but often we don’t even realize there can be another way. So I would love if you could dig into, I know you talk about your company, like specific barriers and obstacles that sometimes women face in sales and how you help remove them. So can you speak to some of those specifics that you see? Like what are the most common barriers or obstacles you see for women in sales? And then we’ll talk about how to start removing those.

Tara Ryan (05:14):

Yeah. So one that comes to mind actually that I’ve been hearing a lot in my coaching practice and just throughout my entire sales journey. And I’ve had the thoughts myself too, is how do I grow a family in sales? Right. Like being a sales, individual contributor, being a sales leader, um, that’s a big one and I’ll dive into that. But then another one has also come up that we can dive into too. It’s like my only, um, how do I grow my career in sales if I don’t want to go into sales leadership. Right. That’s another one that I think, um, is a big barrier for women, right? They think that they’re only way that they can move up in their career or grow or find new opportunities is to become a sales manager, director, VP, like that’s the only path. Um, and that might not be attractive to them. So we’ll start, I’ll start if you’re okay with the first piece. Um, is that one that you have also come across, I guess,

Elyse Archer (06:19):

About the family? Well, I think that it’s so, gosh, it’s so interesting. And I hadn’t even thought about that one, I guess that one wasn’t quite as present to me at least recently, but yeah. I mean, I know in my own life and maybe we can talk about, cause I know you’re, you’re on this journey too. Like in my own life, as a mom now it’s like, gosh, balancing all the things and it’s, it’s never really a balance, right? It’s an integration, but um, I’ve had to create a lot of mindset shifts around like how I make money and how much time is enough and et cetera. And so, yeah, it’s huge. I would love if you, and if you want to share any of your own journey like in this world, and then also the obstacles, you see women bumping up against here and how they can, like how we can know that we really can be amazing moms, wives, partners, whatever, and make all the money we want and more in sales.

Tara Ryan (07:12):

Yes. Because that’s the thing. It is a very lucrative and rewarding career. Right. And so I think women, um, they have an easier time getting in say at the entry level, right. Either, uh, either if you have a BDR feeder program or you just start as an account executive and they start to see success and they, you know, they have some feelings around, yes, I can do this authentically my way, but what happens when I have other priorities in my life, right? Like that’s kind of the conversation that I’ve had with a lot of my clients is I’m single or, you know what, it’s just me and my partner and I don’t think I can do this. Right. Like it’s taking up so much of my energy to be successful. I don’t think I can do this if a child is introduced into this situation.

Tara Ryan (08:03):

And so they start to have conversations with themselves about like, all right, maybe I should start exploring sales operations or sales enablement, or maybe marketing, even though when I ask them, you know, we, how I, you know, kind of approach it in my coaching business is, is that really what you want? Right. Like, why are you having those thoughts and conversations with yourself? Are they based in fear, right? Or are they based in truth? And a lot of the time they are based in, in fear. And so then we start to go through exercises of like, how can we make shifts and changes in either our energy, our life, our awareness to create, even though it maybe hasn’t been done before, or you can visualize it now, like how can we start doing that? Um, but the fear I think is oftentimes because they haven’t seen it successfully happen, um, inside of their own, uh, organization, or they just are spread so thin at that given time that they can’t even imagine it being any other way. Yeah.

Elyse Archer (09:11):

So this is a good conversation. And I’m curious how you help women navigate that because I know, I think sometimes in my own life, like I take for granted now as an entrepreneur, like it’s, I mean, I work a decent number of hours, but I can, I can pretty much set my own schedule. And so I know it’s different areas. It can be perceived to be different in the corporate world. So how do you, like, what are some of the tactical things that you have women in sales do to help them either condense the, like the time for the workload, like fit in building a family with, with their sales career? Like what are some of the things you actually have them do?

Tara Ryan (09:46):

So, uh, just recently I had a really powerful conversation, um, about this topic. Uh, I won’t have it all the time in different ways, but this one really stands out to me. Um, and this woman that I’m working with has a very hard time, um, showing up to work, which she perceives as late, right? She has a central sales territory, her customers, her manager, even her team is not actually online until 10:30 AM. However, she is getting into the office between seven 30 and eight o’clock. And she’s doing that because, you know, she believes, and she has this belief system, right? That the early bird gets the worm, the hours that she puts in, you know, are so important. Um, practice makes perfect all of these kinds of mantras that she has grown up with and believed are shining true now in her sales career. And she is finding a lot of success, but at a cost right higher, she’s not making time for herself.

Tara Ryan (10:48):

She’s not exercising as much as she used to. And so there are some slight feelings of like, yes, she feels excited and inspired by sales, but there’s a little bit of resentment that comes into play sometimes as well. And so we talked about, you know, the, to give you the tactical advice, it’s like, it’s a lot of internal questioning, right? So I, as a coach can provide that space and that guidance to ask the questions of like, who are you showing up for at 7:30 AM? Right. Who is that for? Why are you doing that? Right? Does it serve you? And we just through those questions, right. We’re able to understand that she was doing it almost for like perception. Right. And no one was even there. Right. So, so often we are, are so tough on ourselves. We hold these expectations for us that when you dig into it, like her manager is not telling her to do that.

Tara Ryan (11:50):

Her team is not telling her to do that. Right. It’s all inside of us. And when we start to kind of uncover those inner critics or those inner statements that are telling us that we have to do something and we ask them how true they actually are, they often aren’t true. Right. And then that’s almost like the sense of release that like, okay, once we were able to, this is kind of a long story, but once we were able to release that, then we went into a visualization exercise and I asked her, what does your perfect morning look like on the weekend? No work. Right. And then what does your perfect morning look like on a Workday? And just through that visualization exercise, we were able to create an experiment and now we’re trying it. Right. So that’s kind of, I don’t know if that’s what you’re looking for, but yeah.

Elyse Archer (12:45):

Well, I think one of the things tear that you said there, that’s like, just so standing out to me is how often we don’t question what we’re doing. And we live by these quote-unquote rules of things we heard growing up. Like you said, like the early bird gets the worm. Um, and it’s like, th there’s this, this perception that whoever’s at the office first will win and yada yada, and here’s the thing it’s so interesting. You bring this up. Cause literally all this week I’ve been having conversations with women who are burnt out, who are literally like their health is struggling. It’s suffering, they’ve gained weight, they’re exhausted, they’re depleted. They’re like snipping at other people. They’re beating themselves up because they’ve, even though they know, it’s like, even they’re even aware that most of the women I’ve been talking to, they’re aware there’s a different way to, to create and to sell.

Elyse Archer (13:41):

But like they’ve fallen back into thinking they have to work longer, harder hours than everybody else to win. And I, I do work in the entrepreneurial space as well as in the, the sales, like more of the corporate sales space. And I feel like in the entrepreneur space, people are like more open to, Hey, you can like set your own hours and you don’t necessarily have to work eight hours a day to get the most work done. In fact, like I found in my own life, when I condense my hours and work less, I got way more done and we made way more money, but there’s still these old outdated paradigms. And I’m huge. Like in the, she sells community, we embrace and love everybody. So when I, when I talk about like patriarchal rules or masculine energy, it’s not about being like, this is wrong for everyone, but I think we’ve set up, this is one of the huge problems that I’d love to hear your thoughts and your perspective on is like, we still have a very masculine work culture where it’s like, it’s, it works well for the men on the team, but it doesn’t work as well for the women on the team.

Elyse Archer (14:51):

And as women we can actually create and sell in a totally different way. And I think a more powerful way when we learn how to align our workload with our energy. Right. So are you seeing like, are you, cause you, you do even more corporate work, right. Are you seeing in the corporate world, like, are people opening up to that or is there still a lot of resistance around like they has people have to be here for these hours and yada yada, like what are you, what are you seeing from the clients you’re working with?

Tara Ryan (15:18):

Yeah. There’s so much from what you just said. I think with the clients that I’m working with, um, they partner with me specifically for a reason they know what they’re getting into. Right. They know that I am all about inclusivity, creating more diverse work, uh, sales forces channeling our energy. So I think they are open. Right. But in my coaching practice, I don’t, I work with women from all different backgrounds and from different companies and with different types of leaders. Right. And I see a lot of still that masculine energy of, you know, always on, right. You need to respond to your slack messages when I send you one. And that fear just drives there every action. Right. And so I also, it’s, it’s kind of funny because one of my dearest mentors, um, in sales is he is an always on person. Like that is just the way that he conducts himself.

Tara Ryan (16:22):

And it serves him. I think, I mean, you know, appears to serve him. We’ve had conversations about it. It does. He says that it serves him. However, when I was working under him, right. For a long time, I felt the stress and anxiety of having to mimic the way they work. And then I finally got to a point where I was able to have a conversation with myself. And I think that this is what we need to try to empower women to do. Right. Is to be true to yourself, ask yourself, does this serve you? Even though it serves them. And if the answer is no, have a conversation because that’s what I did. I went to him and I said, you know, I have to be completely honest with you. Your schedule stresses me out, right? Like when you send me an email, you know, at two o’clock in the morning, it makes me feel like I’m supposed to be working at all hours of the day as well. And he was so key. He thanked me so deeply. He was like, Tara, no one has ever come to me in this way about this. And you are bringing so much awareness to how I am probably putting pressure on everyone that I’m working with. Right. Who doesn’t work in the same way. And I think I need to make it known and apparent that like that serves me, but it does not in any way, shape or form mean that you need to be the same way as me. And I was like,

Elyse Archer (17:51):

Well, you scared to have that conversation because I could see like bringing that up. Right. Like I, and I love, I absolutely love that you did that. Were you afraid that he was going to perceive you as like not unmotivated or not wanting to work as hard?

Tara Ryan (18:05):

Totally. Right. Like, of course I had those thoughts and those feelings, but that kind of goes back to like our values and our belief in ourself. Right. And it’s like, I was able to, at the time ask myself, like, are you killing yourself? Like, are you working your hardest? Are you showing up in a way that when you end the month or the quarter that you, even, if you didn’t hit your goals or your attainment, you’re still like super proud of yourself. And the answer was yes. And so that’s what gave me the courage, right. To have that conversation with him, because I was like, I can go to sleep at night knowing that I am doing my best giving it my all. And so even if he thinks that it’s not, there’s no truth in it. Right. There’s no cues in it, but that’s like, I was later on in my career. Right. Like

Elyse Archer (18:58):

It takes some guts. Yeah.

Tara Ryan (19:01):


Elyse Archer (19:02):

Well, and I think, and there’s something else there that you said that so important that I think whether you’re in a corporate sales environment or if you’re an entrepreneur is so critical, which is like, how do you define success? Right. Because in sales, it’s it at the end of the day, it’s about a number it’s about where you stack on the leaderboard, et cetera. But we don’t have full control over that. And I remember the months where I was at the top of the leaderboard, like I felt so good about myself and the months where I wasn’t, I felt like I wanted to hide. And I bet a lot of people listening can relate to that. And even if you’re, you know, if you’re an entrepreneur, it’s like, how much of your self-worth do you tie to your revenue, your monthly revenue? And, um, it’s, it’s, it’s like one piece of what matters and do the numbers matter. Absolutely. Are you like, do you and I both care about helping people make way more sales and more money. Absolutely. But I think when we attire worth to the numbers, it’s never enough, it’s it doesn’t matter how much you make your way out. Like it’s never enough. So I just wanted to pull that out of what you said. Cause I think that’s that’s so, so, so important. Um, and do you teach, like how do you help people tie their worth to something bigger than just the number that they’re creating?

Tara Ryan (20:19):

Yeah. I think the, the, the way that I try to start doing that is to help people get really clear on their values. Right? So it’s like, it’s really hard to identify what you stand for or what matters to you or what you can tie that worth to. If you don’t have you, haven’t gone through an exercise of like this, these are my values, this is what matters to me. This is what drives motivates me. Right. And so once you have those defined, then you can start building those goals outside of just the attainment. Right? So for me, a big, one of my values is growth and learning. So when I was in, as it, when I was an individual contributor, and even when I was a sales manager, I had my number. Right. I always had my number that I was looking at, of course, but I also would always create these small little at, is this pushing me outside of my comfort zone at the same time. Right. Could I take on a stretch project? Could I run a workshop? Could I do these things that kind of filled my cup up in a different way that was tied to that learning growth value? And if I was able to do those, even if I didn’t hit that hundred and 20% right. Or whatever it was that I was striving for, I still felt like I was growing and learning and being successful. Yeah.

Elyse Archer (21:46):

Gosh, that’s so good. That’s that’s so, and it’s so important and easy, even as you say that it’s like, I want to go back and redefine, you know, outside of just the, the work production and what’s your, like, what do I care most about and what cause that grows and changes and shifts as you, as you go. Right. And that’s something that I think in my own life, like I was so focused on just sales and numbers and frankly money for so long. And I found that. So like, is that important? Yes. But it’s one piece of a much bigger pie. And in fact, as you, I bet what you’ve seen and I’d love to hear your, like your feedback on this as, as you’ve measured success outside of just the metric, I bet your sales group, and I bet you made more money because you were coming at it as a whole person, rather than like a, oh, this is like, this is all that defines my success.

Elyse Archer (22:35):

And if I don’t hit it, then I’m, you know, I’m not worthy, yada yada. So do you see, cause I think one of the things, you know, founders, sales leaders, et cetera, they have to look at the bottom line and they have to look at, you know, by getting coaching like this, how does this help the bottom line? So how do you, like, do you have stories in your own life or in your client’s lives or just anything anecdotal or, or evidence about like this actually does help your sales grow too? Like when you define success outside of just the number, it actually does make an impact on the bottom line too,

Tara Ryan (23:08):

100%. Like I could not agree with you more. And an example, I’ll give an example of myself and then I’ll give an example of a client. And they’re both actually connected because they, the value, I would say if I could extract one is connection and relationships, right. And so, because I value connection and relationships, um, in my sales career, right. I was always the one that was kind of going to our product leaders and trying to learn about the new product releases or going to finance department and like figuring out what are things they would red line, what are things that they wouldn’t like going and asking all these questions. Right? And so that fills my cup right outside of just the number. I was also again, attaching into learning and growing too, right. Learning and growing and positioning myself in a way that I felt more equipped to run my own sales process or ask for help because I knew these people.

Tara Ryan (24:11):

And so those connections that I made because of asking those questions, maybe running a workshop, um, with a whole group of not just people in sales, but other departments, I was able to form these relationships that in turn helped me to close more business. Right. Because I knew all these people throughout the company then. And if I had a challenge that like, you know, there was an issue with the product, I could go direct to the source and say, Hey, so-and-so, you know, I want to give some feedback or is there any way that we could get them into this beta or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever it was because I was focusing on things outside of just the number I was able to strengthen my sale in that way through connection. I love that.

Elyse Archer (24:55):

Yeah. I absolutely love that. And yeah. And then you said you had a client story as well.

Tara Ryan (24:59):

My client too recently, it’s, uh, it’s similar. Um, but she decided that, you know, she was looking for a new opportunity. Um, she, uh, outside of her existing organization and she does, she’s like a thought leader. She wanted to kind of, um, make herself a thought leader, create herself, uh, as a thought leader on LinkedIn. And so I asked her like, what’s a topic that you’re really passionate about. Um, and maybe you could start using that topic to, uh, create your content around. And she said that it was actually about sales enablement and, um, yeah, sales enablement, and so different training techniques and tactics that she was using with her team to help them find success, especially early on in onboarding. And so she started creating all these LinkedIn posts right around her passion and it got the attention of another sales organization. And she went through the job interview process and they offered her 40 K more right in. So it’s not directly tied to the sales, but directly tied to her growth and wealth and developments. And if she hadn’t tapped into that passion, right. And put it out there into the universe, that organization wouldn’t have known that she was the absolute best fit for their sales team. That’s so great.

Elyse Archer (26:25):

That’s so great. And I want to talk, so, so there’s one other thing I want to like dive into, um, today in the conversation, which is around energy and energy management. And have you read the book do less by Kate Northrup? No, I haven’t. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Okay.

Tara Ryan (26:43):

That needs to be on my

Elyse Archer (26:44):

List right now. So well, so to me it radically transformed the way I viewed my work, my workload and my work cycles. And she, and you may very well teach us to your clients, but she was the first one that opened even my awareness up to the fact that men’s energy cycles and roughly a 24 hour cycle. So, which means that they have about the same amount of energy at different times throughout the day to do activities and S but women. However, our energy, that same energy cycle that takes me on 24 hours as women lasts us 30 days. And so for women, it’s like, we actually have a week about a week out of the month where we’re most primed to be like outward facing and doing, you know, client connection and prospecting and presentations. We’ve got another week roughly out of the month where we’re more primed for inward facing work for like wrapping up loose ends and completing.

Elyse Archer (27:41):

Whereas for our male counterparts, those same cycles are more like a couple hours every day. And in the business world and in the sales world, you know, what I, from my corporate experience and what I’ve always bumped up against was like, you’re expected to be on the same if not more, every single day. And I like, I pushed myself to do that, but it resulted in so many health issues. And I didn’t even know, I didn’t know why and what I found in working in this other way, which is more around this 30 day cycle and aligning my sales activities and my energy with this 30 day cycle, I get more done, make more money, make more sales because it’s like, you’re not fighting uphill against your energy. So I teach my clients to do the same. I don’t know if you teach your clients the same too, but it’s like, that is, I think, such an important thing that we need to start understanding and shifting in the business world. So what do you see around energy and for women specifically, how we can align our energy better to create better sales results, or if you’re, maybe you’re, you know, a man and you’re listening, but you’re leading a sales team and you got some women on the team, like how you can help empower them to do the same. I’d love to hear your thoughts on that.

Tara Ryan (28:53):

You know, this concept is just so near and dear to my heart because it’s everything right. Like our energy is is, is everything. Um, and so I think how I work with my clients first is the awareness, right? Just being aware of what you just said is so powerful, right? The consciousness, the awareness that like awakens us in order to move forward. And then I also, you know, teach my clients through. It’s actually a lot of it. I learned through IPAC, um, energy leadership, uh, methodology is that they believe there’s two different types of energy, anabolic and catabolic and anabolic energy is the type of energy that enables you to be able to move, move forward. Right. It’s constructive energy and catabolic energy is that destructive energy. Um, and it actually, like you said, it stops you in your tracks, right? Like when you’re in that place of fear, doubt, resentment, anger, your body is actually creating chemicals that like eat away at your cells.

Tara Ryan (29:57):

So you can’t move forward. Right. Like tying it to the science. And so just bringing that sort of awareness to my clients, to the companies that I work with, they’re like, wow, that’s so interesting. And it makes so much sense. Right. So I asked them to think of times, right. Actually a really interesting story. Um, I had a client recently that she was in conflict with someone inside of her organization. And we were talking about it after the fact, and it had been resolved and everything was good. And I asked her like, how long did it take you to resolve the conflict? She said, it took two 20 minutes zoom calls, right? Like we just needed to communicate about it. Um, everything was worked out very easily. Once we got to talking, it was great. And then I asked her, how much time did you stress and worry and feel angry about this? She said, great question. Six hours. It actually ruined my Saturday. I canceled my brunch plans. I laid in bed and I ruminated over it. And it’s like, we all have those stories. Right? We all have those situations in which we are just obsessing over things. And so I bring that awareness to my clients and the companies that I work with so that they can consciously shift, make a choice. Right. That, that type of energy does not serve them and then shift into a higher level of energy that actually propels them forward.

Elyse Archer (31:20):

So I feel like we could have a whole nother conversation about that because I feel like that is so important what you just said, but what is, so what is one thing just to try to keep it somewhat condensed? Like, what is one thing that you teach your clients to do to consciously shift from that catabolic destructive energy to the anabolic productive energy.

Tara Ryan (31:42):

So I have them, um, choose a thing, right? So like something that they have usually in their working environment, because that’s where a lot of stresses, um, comes into play. Right. That they know that when they start to feel overwhelmed or angry, they can grab it and it reminds them. So I have a few things, right. Like I have this little rock, um, I don’t know for your, yeah. So on one side side, it says problem on the other, it says solution. And so when I start to feel stressed and overwhelmed, I just like, grab my rock. This is like the reminder that I can ask myself, am I, which type of energy am I channeling right now? And is it serving me? And, you know, should I, you know, do I want to shift out of it? Because the other thing to I remind my clients is anabolic and catabolic, there’s no good or bad, right? Like you don’t want to look at them as, oh my gosh, I have to be an anabolic or I’m a bad person. If I’m in catabolic energy, those lower energy levels of like anger, right. Cause sometimes those can serve you and you have to actually be able to acknowledge them in order to release them and move forward. So that’s another piece, just you awareness. And I coach my clients to find a thing, right. To remind them, to ask them where they are

Elyse Archer (33:05):

So good. That’s so tactical. And it’s just like that. It’s almost like that pattern interrupt, right. Of like, hold the thing, look at it. And just like, decide where do I want to be right now and making the shift. That’s so, so good. So, okay, Tara one. So first of all, I want you to tell everybody where they can find you where they can connect with you because this is phenomenal. And I know you put out a lot of great content on social. So tell everybody where it, they can get connected with you and where they can find out more about who you are and how to work with you.

Tara Ryan (33:34):

Yes. So follow me on Instagram. My Instagram handle is her courage coach. I would love all of you to join me on my journey there. Um, and then also my LinkedIn profile, you know, follow me, connect with me. It’s Tara, Ryan, um, and my company name infinity. So, and my website, So thank God.

Elyse Archer (33:54):

And it’s, it’s spelled I N F I N I D I, right. Did I get that right? Okay. I was like, I want to make sure that we’re in, but people know. Totally. Yeah. And then just, just in wrapping, like if you had one opportunity to give your younger self in sales, the best piece of advice you could, um, that would have changed the game for you. Like when you were starting out, what would you say?

Tara Ryan (34:18):

Oh, that’s such a good question. And I think, I would say, just take the next best step. Right? We create sales is a culture of creating these big audacious goals. And that is amazing, right? Like you have to have those huge goals that you’re always working towards, but sometimes those goals can be overwhelming and daunting if they look too big without a path to get there. And so I wish I could have told myself, right, just take the next best step one at a time. And you’ll, you’ll, you’ll get their map, map those smaller goals to the bigger goal. And it will just cause so much less stress and overwhelm.

Elyse Archer (34:58):

Oh my gosh. That’s phenomenal advice, both for sales and just for life in general. So I’m going to remember that today and I am, I’m just so grateful for you for your journey and for the path that you’re paving for, um, for women in sales, it’s incredibly powerful. So thank you so much. Thank

Tara Ryan (35:17):

You so much.

Elyse Archer (35:18):


Absolutely. Well, my friend, thank you so much for listening today. Go connect with Tara on Instagram, on LinkedIn. And I just want to encourage you in your sales journey, take your, whatever your biggest takeaway was from today would be so honored. If you wanted to share this podcast on your social platform and tag me, tag Tara, let us know what your biggest takeaway was and just know how much I love and appreciate you as a listener of she sells radio, wishing you a beautiful rest of your day, and I’ll see you on next week’s episode. Bye for now.

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