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Stop Feeling Guilty for Wanting More

I’m absolutely buzzing with excitement to reconnect with you all in this solo episode—it feels like ages since we’ve had a heart-to-heart. Today, I’ve got something truly special in store for you as I peel back the layers and offer you an exclusive peek behind the scenes of my recent mastermind retreat down in beautiful Florida.

During this soul-nourishing event, I experienced some profound shifts in consciousness that I simply can’t wait to share with you. From the transformative power of flexibility and surrender to the delicate dance between intention and letting go, there were ah-ha moments aplenty. But perhaps the most liberating takeaway of all was the revelation that it’s okay—scratch that, it’s essential—to stop feeling guilty for wanting more out of life. It’s time to own our desires, embrace our dreams, and step boldly into the life we’ve always envisioned for ourselves.

 

Show Notes:

[2:34] – The first takeaway for me as the facilitator of the event is the power of flexibility and surrender to a greater good.

[4:15] – The event location was stunning, so check it out on social media.

[5:55] – There’s a delicate balance that we take when we’re creating next level goals between intention and surrender.

[8:07] – How can I be of service no matter how many people are present?

[9:17] – Because of the changes, I scrapped some of the plans and really went into what attendees needed.

[10:57] – I used to look at the success of other people and make assumptions.

[14:18] – What is convenient will keep you complacent.

[16:13] – To level up, you need to elevate your level of consciousness.

[18:20] – Listen to an experience of a mastermind community member who is seeking another level of abundance.

[19:52] – A lot of times, the old worn-out thinking is creating feelings of guilt and shame.

[22:21] – What is your paradigm and social conditioning telling you? Is it holding you back from abundance?

[24:07] – You have to start by creating soul freedom.

[25:07] – Listen to an excerpt from a reading that drives this point home.

[27:01] – All our lives, we are made to feel guilty over the things we desire.

[29:15] – After listening to that excerpt, did you feel any tension or triggers?

[31:02] – What is the consciousness of someone who is comfortable in their abundance?

[33:41] – I am one with my highest self and know I want to be the best Elyse Archer I can be.

[35:12] – It is up to us to create heaven on Earth everyday.

[36:50] – Get yourself in an environment surrounded by the level you want to be in.

[39:10] – You can learn this information, but you have to get uncomfortable and take the opportunity to change the areas of your life that are holding you back.

[41:16] – If this resonated with you and you are ready to cultivate this, you are ready to be a part of Mind Over Matter Live.

 

Links and Resources:

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She Sells with Elyse Archer Home Page

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Mind Over Matter Live Event

 

0:02

Welcome to She Sells Radio I have a solo episode for you today and I am excited

0:09

because it’s been a minute since I’ve done one of these and I want to share with you my takeaways ahas uh some of

0:18

the biggest things that are shifting in my life right now many of which are tied to I’m going to share with you a bit of the behind the scenes of the event that

0:26

we held uh two weeks ago today now which was my master M retreat in Rosemary Beach Florida which was absolutely

0:32

beautiful and had some really good shifts in Consciousness happening with

0:38

the attendees there so I’m going to share with you some of what those were so you can apply them to your own life and I’m also just going to weave in um

0:46

some ways that my consciousness has elevated and shifted recently too and some things I’m really thinking about in

0:53

my own life that um are creating much greater and better results so you can

0:58

apply again apply what what want from this to your own life too so um let’s

1:03

let’s get into it I’ve got three core takeaways from this event and by the way

1:09

if we’re not connected on social go connect with me I’m at Elyse Archer and on Instagram I shared a lot of the behind the scenes of events and things

1:15

that are going on so you can see and you can see some of the pictures of the home

1:21

that we were at for this Retreat it was absolutely stunning I’ll talk more about it here in the show today but you can

1:27

also watch some of the behind the scenes Adventure because there’s a lot of um there’s just a lot of events coming up

1:32

and exciting things going on that I want to share with you and you can see things like us rescuing our RV from North

1:39

Carolina and driving it home in the middle of the night which is another story for another day but shared behind

1:45

the scenes of that on H social so let’s make sure that we’re connected on Instagram and on LinkedIn which is where

1:50

I tend to be the most but let’s talk about the event for today and the first

1:55

takeaway that I really got as the facilitator of this Retreat is um the

2:02

power of flexibility and surrender to a greater level of good so in in our lives

2:10

and so let me share with you what that looked like here and then what um what the takeaways were for you so going into

2:17

this Retreat um it number one when we do these Retreats and it’s the second one like this that we’ve done they are

2:24

beautiful so the home we rented was a $6.5 million home

2:30

right on the water like right on the ocean walking you walk outside you walk down I think past two other homes and

2:36

you’re you’re on the ocean so you walk right out go to the beach go to the pier

2:42

stunningly beautiful home um we had some really beautiful experiences that we

2:48

brought in as well for um for my Mastermind members so this retreat was for women who are members of The

2:55

Mastermind uh for women who are already at the six figure level uh you know ready to go to multi6 or seven so we

3:02

work with women at that level in our Mastermind in our higher level uh programs and so I wanted to really like

3:09

just create different experiences for them that sometimes we can say oh well

3:14

even if you’re making a decent amount of money we can say oh that’s too much or who am I to do that or I was raised and

3:21

taught not to use money that way right like with scarcity Consciousness so we had a beautiful private Chef dinner we

3:27

had a private yoga Session One morning out uh by the the private pool out back

3:33

of this home so it was really really stunning again go like just check out social if you want to see some of the pictures because I I don’t know about

3:39

you I could probably be an interior designer slre turn another life I love I

3:45

love homes and beautiful homes so I care about the environment that we’re in so this home was really really beautiful

3:50

but what was so interesting about this event and where I got to really learn and practice Just Surrender and

3:57

everything is always happening exactly as it’s supposed to be was we initially had seven registered

4:04

RSVP and in the 48 Hours leading up um three women weren’t able to attend due

4:11

to uh covid sickness like last minute stuff that popped up and so it was so

4:19

interesting because we had planned for obviously still an intimate group but we had planned for more and what I and I I

4:26

found out a lot of this is I was like literally driving to the home because we flew into Naples so that I could drop

4:31

the boys off with my in-laws by the boys I mean all three of the boys my hubby Jason and then the two our two sons and

4:39

then it was an eight and a half hour drive to Rosemary Beach so I find a lot of this out while I’m driving I’m like well here it is there’s not much to do

4:48

about it plus the thing that I have learned in you know I’ve been an

4:54

entrepreneur been in business for myself since 2015 but really three years a

4:59

little more than years of running this brand and I’ve learned so much running

5:04

this this company and this brand on my um just at a bigger level than I’ve run things before in my life and I have

5:11

really learned to trust that the people who are there are the right people for

5:16

that message and for that particular um event scenario and and to

5:23

take this and apply this to whatever you’re doing so whether you’re listening and you’re an entrepreneur whether

5:28

you’re a sales professional there’s this delicate balance that we

5:34

take when we’re creating and when we’re creating Next Level goals this this balance and this dance between intention

5:40

and surrender and so the intention piece is always about you know I intend to

5:47

serve at the highest level I intend to be available for as many people as want

5:53

to be part of something as it can come Etc I intend x amount so whatever the

5:59

goal is whatever the vision is whatever the desire is that’s our intention right but if we grip that too hard and if we

6:06

make it mean something if things don’t pan out the way that we set the intention for initially then we um we

6:15

missed the beauty we missed the blessing we missed the opportunity so when I when

6:21

I learned that three of the women were unable to make it last minute and had to make some of those shifts in terms of

6:28

planning and I i’ plan out a whole uh you know two-day event on science of getting rich and teaching from that book

6:35

because that’s been a a transformational book in my life and I love teaching the concepts from it but it was like okay

6:41

how can I best serve and be there for the women who were showing up and so we

6:47

pivoted and we made it into more of like a semi-private small group intensive for

6:53

the women who were there and what was so beautiful to see was when we kicked off

6:58

on the first day it was like those women were supposed to be there and I think if

7:03

they’re listening they would probably say the same that like just the commonalities the synchronicities the

7:10

connections and the the ability to help each other in different ways because they’re in different stages of life but

7:17

but able to kind of complement where each other were um it was so so powerful

7:23

and so I have just learned to be so surrendered to how can I be of service

7:29

no matter who’s there how many are there what what it looks like versus what I

7:35

had planned for slash intended and to really be in the blessing of of whatever is right and so

7:44

when we have that belief and this is such an important belief to establish and create in your life everything is

7:50

always working out for me everything is always working out for me everyone is everything is always working out for me

7:56

when we have that belief then we are able to take whatever the scenario is

8:01

and if it’s different from how we intended and we still showed up and we did the things and we put we we did our

8:08

part then we can kind of sit back and say oo like there’s something better

8:13

here there’s something bigger here that’s manifesting that I um that I get

8:19

to just co-create with like I get to be surrendered to this and I get to co-create it was a really powerful

8:25

beautiful experience I had fun kind of scrapping the whole agenda I had and aside from keeping

8:32

certain things like you know the chef dinner the private Chef dinner the the private yoga session all of that um was

8:40

really open to how the time was meant to be structured and it was so beautiful

8:46

how it flowed and I think each woman there got a really immersive like deep dive in what she was needing at the time

8:52

so so that’s the first thing that I took away and that I want to impart to you

8:57

today is just the power of f flexibility and the power of surrender and kind of that delicate dance that we all get to

9:05

play every day of matching intention that that really Crystal Clear intention

9:11

with an element of surrender the second thing I want to share with you and this is probably going to be the biggest

9:17

teaching point for today because I want to pull from both the retreat as well as something I was listening to this morning

9:24

is it’s about thinking bigger it’s about dropping guilt for wanting more

9:30

it’s about an elevation in your s concept and it’s

9:36

about it’s about questioning everything every old

9:41

Paradigm and pattern that has been holding you back from what you really

9:46

want so it was really neat when we were in this home there were pictures around

9:52

the home of the owners and you know everyone’s a little different when they rent out their home some people you know

9:59

probably feel comfortable leaving pictures out other people don’t I don’t know who these people were were or are but it was it was a young family right

10:06

it was pictures of a young family now watch where your judgments go when I say that do your judgments go to oh they

10:12

inherited the money oh this oh that I don’t know I don’t know the family I don’t know the family but what I do know

10:17

in my life now is I used to look at success of someone else and and make excuses or have judgments like oh they

10:26

it was easy for them or oh this or oh that that’s not how I roll now I see and this is actually how you know you’re in

10:31

alignment with what you want is you see the success of someone else and you celebrate it you say wow good for them

10:39

you know I see that now I feel that when I look at other coaches mentors leaders in my industry who are like you know any

10:46

number of things that I’m also actively manifesting in my life whether it’s they’re on the New York Times list

10:52

they’ve got thousands of people at their enrollment events they’re speaking on the big big stages I see that I’m like

10:57

yes go I love it and that’s and I used to not feel those feelings like gut

11:02

instinct I used to have to do a lot of selft talk to get myself there I don’t anymore and it’s beautiful and that’s

11:08

actually how you know that you’re in alignment with what you want so side note there and take a quick sip of

11:14

coffee then then keep going so I literally just splashed

11:20

myself in my eye with my coffee that was great okay this is what you get on the solo episodes so there are pictures of

11:27

the owners in this home and it’s a young couple with I can’t remember two or

11:33

three kids I want to say a really cute dog the dog’s name was well I’m not going to say a dog it doesn’t matter we knew the dog’s name um but cute couple

11:41

cute kids young and one of the attendees there looked at the picture and she said

11:47

oh that’s so inspiring she said I could do that and what was so cool about hearing her say

11:55

that was I don’t know if she would have said that she entered our Mastermind about a year ago I don’t know maybe she

12:02

would have said it my guess is maybe not about a year ago when she was first starting on this growth Journey but she

12:08

looked at the picture and she said oh well if they can do it why can’t I and I

12:14

thought that is it that is the energy that we want to be in that manifests our

12:22

goals at a bigger level that’s part of the power and this is the third point so I’ll do a little preview but I’ll go

12:27

deeper in a minute the the power of changing your environment and being in a different

12:34

space you know we we get conditioned to things just being as they are around us you’re used to whatever the frequency is

12:41

of your home whatever the frequency is of your bank account whatever the frequency is of your relationships you

12:47

get used to that and unless you consciously shake it up and put yourself out of your comfort zone and do what it

12:54

takes to get in a different environment the the women who were there for this event had early lights like early you

13:00

know on the airplane at 5 6: a.m. to be there but guess what they got uncomfortable and one of the women even

13:06

said she was like it was almost like everything was working against me to get there she’d gotten like two or three

13:12

hours of sleep every night leading up to the event kids were going through some

13:17

stuff um you know the other one of the other women who was there who commented on this she said I you know I’ve been

13:23

traveling a lot lately but like she still got herself there so that’s where sometimes we can make excuses and say oh

13:29

it’s not convenient it’s not convenient to get on an airplane it’s not convenient to buy a plane ticket it’s

13:34

not convenient to invest the money in myself it’s not convenient well guess what what is convenient will keep you

13:42

complacent all right that’s I’ve never thought about it that way before but that’s what’s channeling for you this morning as I record this so there you go

13:49

whatever is convenient will keep you complacent so if you want to elevate if

13:55

you are done with being complacent in where you are then there are sacrifices

14:01

that need to be made there are we’re always exchanging one thing for another right so the key is I talked about this

14:06

last week in a training I did for a really cool group of coaches the key is what are you sacrificing this is the law

14:13

of sacrifice and we always want to be sacrificing something of a lower nature for something of a higher nature so

14:20

whenever you make a choice to attend an event to get out of your comfort zone to

14:26

invest in yourself you are trading everything else you could be doing at

14:31

that moment with that time or you’re trading that money that’s in your bank account or on the credit card for that

14:37

experience but the way you want to think about it is I’m sacrificing I always want to be sacrificing something of a

14:43

lower nature for something of a higher nature so by getting on the airplane by

14:48

being willing to not sleep in by being willing to show up by being willing to invest in themselves these women

14:53

sacrifice some level of comfort that maybe they could have gotten from sleeping in or staying home but they

14:59

were able to get into an environment that they were like this is the nicest

15:04

home I’ve ever been in in my life right um this is the like the space being able to be part of that private Chef dinner

15:10

being poured into in a private yoga session being poured into for me and the team they that was the elevation they

15:18

traded the other options they had available at that time for this and so what we want to do is start to and this

15:26

is really my goal I talk about this a lot with my Mastermind we work on this with our clients in the 10K club with my

15:31

private clients as well but the thing I care about most for you if you’re going to transform is we need to elevate and

15:38

raise your level of Consciousness and to do that it’s critical and key to be in different

15:44

environments in different scenarios um amongst different people who are going to help you think

15:50

differently more more abundantly more prosperously more uh possibility focused

15:57

for yourself and that’s what this was about so when this attendee when my Mastermind M said why not me I said yes

16:06

you’re there so so powerful and so something this is where I’m going to tie

16:11

in something I was listening to this morning so I haven’t trained on this thing per se before this is literally

16:18

real time me sharing with you kind of my gut reactions based on something I was

16:23

listening to but it was so powerful and I I heard this maybe just an hour ago probably not doing that probably 30

16:29

minutes ago as I was driving into the house before recording this and I want to share this with you so I was listening to a mind Valley Summit um

16:37

that they did on manifesting yesterday so as I as I record this in real time they did this um on Sunday the 17th and

16:46

vision was talking about desire when manifesting our goals

16:52

and the power of desire and he read from conversations with God Neil Donald watch

16:59

this is the second book I’m looking at it on my screen right now and I’m going to read to you some of what was said

17:05

because as I listened to it it it didn’t trigger me it was interesting it didn’t trigger me but it would have triggered

17:10

me parts of this would have triggered me maybe even six months ago a year ago but I think this has been so part of my

17:19

journey of my whole lifetime and I’d say really a lot in the past year has been like an immersion into

17:27

just Mass elevations of Consciousness so I’m going to read to you part of what the book said I’m going to Tee It Up

17:34

with a quick story of something that another one of my masterm members was sharing last week on our coaching call

17:40

and it was really beautiful to have this level of awareness so well she listens

17:46

like every episode so she’ll know who she is and I love you deeply when you’re listening to this I’m not going to give

17:51

anything identifying um but this this member is this member of The Mastermind

17:59

is really at a point where she is ready for a far greater level of abundance in

18:06

her life which is where a lot of members come of our community when they when they come in here and when they join

18:12

us and if you are seeking a greater level of abundance which you very

18:18

possibly are because you’re listening to this podcast and yet there’s something where it’s not clicking there’s something where it’s not happening here

18:25

is what I want you to know it is not about the money on a surface level all right it is not about just working

18:33

harder getting greater Financial Acumen doing more of the same although can

18:39

those things help yes sometimes in a certain way however when you

18:46

are like I am ready I want it I desire it I’m there I’m doing the things I’m

18:52

taking the action and yet there’s something that’s not budging in the financial scenario in

18:59

the sales in the revenue there is a deeper level that we want to tap into to

19:06

figure out what the block is there’s some sort of a blockage and a lot of times it’s guilt

19:13

and a lot of times it’s shame and a lot of times it’s old worn

19:20

out thinking that was drilled into you maybe early on in life maybe through and and

19:29

I’m I’m I’m I’m conscious when I say this I am a very spiritual person

19:35

spirituality is now the most important part of my life didn’t it used to be most important part of my life I this it

19:43

guides everything I do so when I say this um this is not about saying you

19:51

need to believe or think any certain way because you don’t I believe you need to follow your own path and your own

19:57

calling and whatever speaks to you what what I will say is I have found in my own upbringing and also in a lot of the

20:03

members of the community what we were taught growing up on our spiritual path or in a religious institution was that

20:09

there is glory in suffering there is glory in scarcity there is glory in not

20:14

having enough that you were meant to suffer and life is meant to be hard and then you’re meant to die and then you go

20:21

to heaven and everything is good I do not believe that I fundamentally do not

20:26

believe that I believe we have the opportunity every day to create heaven on Earth or to create hell for ourselves

20:33

and it’s all based on our level of Consciousness and so what this member of

20:39

the group was sharing and what I was coaching her on last week on our call was she came from a very conservative

20:46

religious upbringing and what was taught

20:51

was in essence and I’m going to sum up kind of my takeaway from she said like poverty is the path to heaven

20:59

poverty is the path to being safe and that having too much or being too seen

21:07

or being too famous or being too known will send you straight to hell and that

21:12

you would be a this was her language a devil child if you were too much in any of those departments and so it is of

21:20

course not surprising that now as this woman has set a firm intention to bring

21:27

in far greater prosp abundance in her life that those old beliefs are rearing their head and

21:35

saying yeah but yeah but yeah but what if if I do this if I’m too known if I’m

21:42

too famous if I’m too seen if I’m too successful I’m going to hell and of

21:49

course if that’s the Paradigm if that’s the conditioning if that’s the belief

21:54

system then of course you’re not going to want to manifest abundance not a maybe on a conscious level you still but

22:00

not on a subconscious level not on the level of the part of the brain that is designed to keep you alive and safe and

22:08

so this we I I coached her on some things to do I coached her on what to examine what to look at um some some

22:15

exercises she’s going to be doing but anything that tells

22:20

you that you cannot be do or have what you want on a soul level is not

22:27

truth I want you to really hear that it is not truth and the sooner we can wake up to

22:34

that and the sooner we can raise our Consciousness to that and the sooner we can

22:39

examine and become of aware of become aware of the parts of us that we’ve been unaware of that have just been running

22:45

the program on default mode for decades for many of us we can start to release the shackles

22:54

that have been holding us back and something I know and see this

22:59

is something I see on every single intake of every single member of our community and even if you and I haven’t

23:06

connected directly yet I I venture to Guess that this is something I would see

23:11

on your intake if you were a member of our community if you came into our programs is that you want greater

23:17

freedom in your life and what I am aware of now is that

23:23

freedom on a financial level on a Time level on an opportunity level

23:29

what it boils down to is you also and first creating freedom for yourself on

23:35

an emotional and a soul level and then all the other things are made manifest from there so with that little preview I

23:44

want to read to you some of what I was listening to this morning and this is about desire and dropping guilt for

23:52

wanting what you want in your life this is Neil Donald Walsh conversations with God the second book

23:59

it’s not unlike the famous singer you all know whom I will not name here who

24:04

receives millions of dollars for singing her songs asked to comment on her incredible success and the riches that

24:10

has brought her she said I feel almost guilty because I love doing this so

24:16

much the implication is clear if it’s something you love doing you should not

24:21

also be rewarded additionally with money most people earn money by doing

24:26

something they hate or something that is at least hard work not endless Joy so

24:33

the world’s message is if you feel negatively about it then you can enjoy

24:39

it think about that guilt is often used by you in your attempt to feel bad about

24:45

something you feel good about and thus reconcile yourself with God who you think does not want you to feel good

24:52

about anything you are especially not to feel good about joys of the body and

24:58

absolutely not about as your grandmother used to whisper s x well the good news

25:05

is it’s all right to love sex it’s also all right to love yourself in fact it’s

25:13

mandatory what does not serve you is to become addicted to sex or anything else

25:19

but it is okay to fall in love with it practice saying this 10 times each day I

25:26

love sex practice saying this 10 times I love money now you want a really tough

25:34

one try saying this 10 times I love

25:40

me here are some other things you were not supposed to love practice loving

25:45

them Power Glory Fame success

25:51

winning want some more try these you should really feel guilty if you love

25:56

these the agulation of others being better having more knowing how knowing

26:05

why had enough wait here’s the ultimate guilt you should feel the ultimate guilt

26:12

if you feel that you know God isn’t this interesting all through

26:19

your life you’ve been made to feel guilty about the things you want

26:24

most yet I tell you this love love love

26:30

the things you desire for your love of them draws you to you draws them to you

26:36

these things are the stuff of life when you love them you love life when you

26:42

declare that you desire them you announce that you choose all the good life has to offer so choose sex all the

26:50

sex you can get and choose power all the power you can muster and choose Fame all

26:57

the Fame you can attain and choose success all the success you can achieve

27:04

and choose winning all the winning you can experience yet do not choose sex instead

27:10

of love but as a celebration of it and do not choose power over but Power

27:18

with and do not choose Fame as an end in itself but as a means to a larger end

27:25

and do not choose success at the expense of other s but is a tool with which to

27:30

assist others and do not choose winning at any cost but winning that costs

27:37

others nothing and even brings them gain as well go ahead and choose the

27:43

agulation of others but see all others as beings upon which you can shower

27:49

agulation and do it go ahead and choose being better but not being better than

27:55

others rather better than you were for go ahead and choose having more but

28:02

only so that you have more to give and yes choose knowing how and knowing why

28:09

so that you can share all knowledge with others and by all means choose to know

28:16

God in fact choose this first and all else will

28:24

follow there’s more he says there but I’m going to pause that pause with that so just notice with

28:33

that was there any part of you that was triggered was there any part of you

28:38

where you felt an internal constriction when I said part of

28:44

it and if so just get curious about it what part was it the part about loving

28:51

sex was it the part about loving power loving money loving Fame this is um a

28:58

concept I’ve been really playing with and having fun with and I’m going to be teaching this at a live event next month

29:04

which I’ll tell you about a little bit more in a moment here uh but just this concept of Fame

29:10

and what is the consciousness of someone who is so comfortable in the

29:16

spotlight who is so comfortable being seen and adored by others I was just

29:22

playing with um the energy of Taylor Swift and it’s funny because I don’t listen to a lot of her music but my my

29:30

sister-in-law is such an awesome woman she’s going to Sweden this summer to go

29:35

see Taylor Swift perform and she was talking about the women in her she works in financial services in New York City

29:41

and she was talking about the women in the office a lot of them are going to or I think at least one other but they’re all talking about it they’re they’re

29:46

literally flying to Sweden to see Taylor Swift perform and so I started I don’t

29:53

again I don’t watch a lot of stuff but I started watching some of her videos on YouTube of her performing and I was like

29:59

I just loved watching her energy and watching how in flow she was being in

30:07

the spotlight being seen being visible how she was playing with the audience it was such a co-creation in love and I

30:16

thought that is such a fun mindset and energy to play with which is what would

30:23

what must the Consciousness be of a woman like that or choose who whoever it

30:28

was whoever it is who resonates with you who you deem famous maybe it’s a great

30:33

spiritual teacher with a lot of followers maybe it’s a great podcaster who you follow maybe it’s someone in

30:40

your industry who’s speaking on the big stages that you want to speak on maybe it’s Madonna Beyonce Oprah I don’t care

30:48

but they had to have a level of availability for Fame in order for that to manifest and I

30:55

think so often one of the other things I see from a lot of the members of our community who I coach is this fear of

31:02

visibility piece I tell you what you can’t have both you can’t have both you

31:07

can’t have both you can’t have two masters right a fear of visibility a fear of being seen and be able to

31:14

manifest success and notoriety and fame in your own

31:20

way at the same time and I think for those of us who are called to serve at a

31:26

high level and for those of us who are called to build platforms and have influence and impact the lives of many

31:34

others with our work which I I feel called to do and and I’m not attached to what that looks like in my life do I

31:40

have a vision for what I would love in terms of opportunities in terms of influence yes do I have confidence that

31:46

that will happen in my lifetime yes and am I unattached to it yes I care about

31:52

showing up as the best version of me every day and serving every single

31:58

person who I am privileged to speak to now that’s what I care about is what I’m

32:03

going to bring the energy now to every part of the platform that I have that I

32:10

feel it will be like to bring as the platform grows and whatever that

32:16

manifests into I am grateful for and there was also a part of myself that I

32:22

got to do some deep inner work with that did have fear of visibility and did have

32:27

fear of being seen and when I was in that kind of limbo stuck between the desire for more

32:36

and also the fear of punishment the fear of Wrath the fear of shade being thrown

32:43

my way right the fear of not doing it well enough the fear of being made wrong uh I got to do the work on that

32:51

and I am so clear now on I it’s like I

32:57

am one with God in this I’m going to use my language you use your language of what works I am one with God I am one

33:02

with my highest self I am one with my I want to live my best and Highest

33:09

Potential I want to create the best and highest life I can create in this lifetime I want to be the best Elyse

33:15

Archer I can be and what is that like what is that fullest expression of me

33:20

and who is she and letting myself go all out in my mind in terms of what does

33:26

that look like for a financial level from a Fame level from an impact level

33:31

from a giving level from a love level from a health level from a lifestyle

33:36

level and then letting that come together in the most perfect way doing

33:43

my part and then also trusting that the Divine is doing this with me because it

33:48

is of great service to the world for each of us to show up at our best and

33:54

highest and to drop that old worn out Paradigm of the fear of visibility the

34:01

fear of being seen where we’re like oh it’s safer to play it small it’s safer to suppress it’s safer to cover up with

34:08

layers whether it’s avoidance whether it’s extra pounds whether it’s fear

34:14

procrastination we cover it up we cover up our desires with these things and when we can drop the old paradigms that

34:22

somehow there is glory in staying small that there is glory and not having enough that that’s how we get to heaven

34:30

that that’s how we’re good uhuh none of that is true my friend when we can drop that and realize that it is up to us to

34:38

create heaven on Earth every day and to create what our highest and best

34:45

expression looks like and to me I think about what are the attributes of God of

34:53

source of universe that I want to instill in my life radical abundance

34:58

Beauty love joy expansion giving generosity service so when I can play

35:04

with those elements every day and and and stop and and shift the Consciousness

35:11

to how can I be more of that rather than the old same old same old cage of

35:18

limiting beliefs every day that’s when life gets exciting that’s when things manifest that’s when you can look at a

35:24

picture of a family of people your age own a $6.5 million do home and you’re

35:29

not there yet in your physical 3D world but you want something like that you can say yes to that that is inspiring let me

35:38

think about how they must think let me tap into more of the frequency of that

35:43

let me get more in the environment of uplevel thinking like that that’s how

35:48

you know you’re on the way is you can see it and you can celebrate it so that

35:55

was kind of the second and third wrapped into the same so the second point there the second thing that I wanted to share

36:00

here is just thinking bigger for yourself and then the third is and we’re going to wrap with this because I

36:06

already really spoke to it but getting yourself in environments where you do

36:11

think differently and I think getting yourself in environments that the version of you at the next level result

36:17

accomplished would be in whether that’s a master masterminds of a certain level

36:23

whether that’s homes like touring homes of a certain level whether that’s a events whether it’s

36:29

communities but you have to shift your Consciousness you need to get yourself in a different

36:35

space we we absorb what’s around us right so I I’m I’m leaving tomorrow

36:42

morning to head to New York City to um actually speak at a two-day event with some really high-powered cool women in

36:50

finance um one of them I’m super honored to be speaking with Sally kochek the founder of elves so I’m excited to meet

36:56

her in person and to an honor to share a stage with her but when I’m there even

37:02

though I’m teaching I also am like I want to I want to be in the consciousness of other women playing at

37:08

a high level I want to learn how they think I want to learn how they see all these women are Financial Services

37:15

advisors investors like how do they think I want to learn that I want to pick up on more of that so I’m excited

37:20

to be there uh but there is just so much power in getting yourself in the room

37:28

with people who are operating at the frequency you want to be at and or who

37:33

are consciously working on a sending themselves to that level because it is from your level of Consciousness and

37:40

your belief system that every result manifests in your life it all boils down to what you believe about yourself and

37:46

what you believe to be true so with that two ways we can go deeper into this if

37:52

you would like to go deeper and you may listen to this episode and say that was good like that was good I’m I’m taking

37:57

this and run with this good that’s fine if you want to go deeper and have support

38:03

in actually implementing this in your life and not just knowing it

38:10

intellectual because what happens is we learn this and we hear it and we’re like oh that’s good I’m gonna go change well

38:16

guess what not if you don’t actually apply it not if you don’t have some sort

38:22

of a decision with implementation and action

38:27

of this is happening not if you don’t get yourself uncomfortable to if you if you hear this

38:34

and you say oh this is good Elyse and then you go back to exactly what you were doing before you’re kidding yourself so the

38:42

opportunity is if you are hearing this and you’re like I do need to change some

38:48

areas of life there are some things from what elely read today that triggered me there are some things where I see I’m

38:53

judging my desire for more there are some things where I see I’m playing it small I’m staying in the same

38:59

environment I’m not pushing myself I’m not stretching and there’s a deep Soul

39:05

desire for more then I want you to come get in the room with me two different

39:10

ways you can do that right now one come apply for my Mastermind we’ve got an

39:16

incredible Mastermind for women who are already performing at a high level in their lives and we we the way that we

39:23

structure this group is this is for women who are already at the six figure level already at 10K months you can be

39:28

in sales you can be an entrepreneur it doesn’t matter but if you want to ascend if you want to go to the next level if

39:35

you want to raise in your Consciousness this year and Quantum Leap in ways you did not know were possible then I want

39:42

you to go check it out and apply if it speaks to you it’s elysearcher.org

39:47

club and then the second opportunity is I am hosting a live event first one I’ve

39:53

done here in Portland Maine it’s April 9th and 10th this one is open to everybody it’s called mind over matter

40:01

it’s not the mind over matter that you have heard which is like oh just push through doesn’t matter how you feel what

40:08

I mean by this this is actually the first quadrant we teach four different quadrants of quantum sales growth in our

40:14

curriculum this is the first quadrant of quantum sales growth and this is

40:19

neuroscience this is quantum physics this is literally your mind and how how

40:27

it determines your physical 3D reality so if you like what I talked about here

40:32

on the podcast today and you’re ready for a blueprint of how do you manifest

40:37

your most mindblowing Career Success financial success life success in 2024 and Beyond

40:46

you want to come be there with me and with the other uh with other incredible

40:51

women who are going to be there at this event so you can check that one out Elis arch.com mindover are live we have tickets still

41:00

available for this and I want you to come get yourself in the room again doesn’t matter if it’s convenient if

41:05

like if you’re serious about this if you’re committed then it’s not about is it convenient it’s about what level of

41:11

transformation are you available for and applying that law of sacrifice right will you need to invest

41:18

time in this yes will you need to invest money in this yes and the question I

41:23

always ask when I’m investing is am I worth it right it and I I know now yes

41:29

whatever I want to invest in for myself it’s like yes I am worth it yes but that was I had to shift that Consciousness

41:35

first so you look at it and say well how much do I care about elevating my life

41:41

how much do I care about not living the same old same old every single day and instead I’m ready for a new blueprint

41:47

I’m ready to get clear on blocks things I wasn’t even aware of that were holding me back I’m ready to open up to that

41:54

next highest most abundant most successful most powerful most famous

42:01

happiest most generous most impactful version of me you want to come get in

42:06

the room with us so that’s Elis arch.com myov matter live uh yes it is happening

42:11

the day after the eclipse I’ve had some people ask about that there’s going to be powerful and that wasn’t the

42:18

intention behind when I scheduled it for but there’s no coincidences so I think we’re going to harness some of that

42:24

powerful energy if you want to come get here to Maine a day or early because I know there’s been some members of our community who are like I want to see the

42:30

eclipse I think you’re going to be able to see it from from where we are so there’s that too um and it’s going to be

42:36

really beautiful so whichever of those opportunities is resonating with you whether it’s the Mastermind and if you

42:41

are part of the Mastermind you get a free event ticket to this event or you want to come just join us at the event

42:47

we’d love to have you so those are my uh those are those are the opportunities

42:52

the options for how you can go deeper in this as always so grateful to have you

42:58

as a listener so grateful to have the opportunity to speak from my heart to yours today I trust and and hope that

43:05

this resonated I do trust that it resonated with you and would love to hear on social what was your biggest

43:10

takeaway what are you taking with us and applying to your life to open up to more

43:16

today because it’s not just about you it’s about everyone around you and and

43:22

when you open up to that fullest that greatest expression of you you have no

43:27

idea the impact you’re having on everyone around you as well you help everyone around you rise as well so

43:33

until next time thank you as always for being a listener of She Sells Radio and I’ll see you on our next episode bye for

43:39

now

 

0:02

Welcome to  She Sells Radio I am so excited for the conversation that you’re going to get to hear today uh one because it’s

0:09

an incredible topic and two I get to have this conversation and bring you uh

0:14

two of my favorite people on the planet these two have quickly become just some women who I absolutely admire adore I

0:21

think are incredible I’ve got Erin and Serit Attwood on the podcast for you today so we are going to be talking

0:27

today about how to cultivate undeniable confidence which is such a Hot Topic in

0:34

our community and I don’t think I’ve ever spoken with a woman who didn’t want to grow and improve in this area of her

0:40

life myself included I’m always looking to grow my confidence my self-belief my self-empowerment and you are going to

0:47

get to learn from two absolute experts who walk the talk in this area today so

0:52

let me tell you a little bit about my guests who they are who you’re going to be learning from and then we’re going to dive in so Erin and Serit are the

1:00

co-founders of immun of strength a health wellness and self-discipline movement for high performers which if

1:06

you are listening to this podcast I am 99 100% sure that you identify as a high

1:12

performer Aid and have helped thousands of women worldwide become the most confident version of themselves by

1:19

creating mental and physical strength they they help driven women discover the

1:24

gaps that are holding them back from reaching their Highest Potential in all areas of their life mastering their

1:29

health Fitness discipline and mental fortitude so they never have to be on a diet which also we love and these two

1:35

body transformation experts have over 25 years of combined experience in the health and fitness space they’ve been

1:42

featured on listen to this muscle and fitness hers magazine the Discovery Channel which I didn’t know by the way

1:48

is incredibly cool and more so Erin and Serit welcome to She Sells Radio I am so

1:54

excited to have you both today I think that’s the best anybody’s intro us before well at leisa’s voice is

2:01

like it’s a radio voice

2:07

baby  She Sells Radio, She Sells Radio I didn’t think about it when I was

2:12

naming the show what a tongue twister it was going to be for other people you all get it though you you get it you’re with me I’m so happy to have you both you two

2:20

are just such bright lights in the world and like I was saying um in the intro

2:25

you two really embody what we’re going to be talking about to today and so I

2:31

want to dive in we’ll we’ll kind of weave throughout the conversation a little bit more of both of your backgrounds and how you got into this

2:37

work but I just want to start right off with this topic of undeniable confidence

2:43

what does this mean to you and why is it something that you’re so passionate about in your own life and then also

2:49

helping other women cultivate in their lives too I I don’t know about you but I don’t

2:55

know a single person who wakes up and is like I hope I’m not confident today I hope that I’m scared to do everything

3:02

today I hope that I am afraid of people I hope that I hope that um I’m I’m I’m

3:08

concerned about people judging me and so I feel like you

3:14

know everybody is everybody wants what they want here on this Earth whatever it

3:21

is and if we don’t have confidence we will have a very difficult time getting

3:28

it whatever ever it is that we want if you’re afraid to talk to somebody if you

3:34

are concerned with what people are thinking about you if you feel like

3:39

you’re not living up to your potential you just don’t show up in the same way

3:45

you you’re show even just your physiological Vision like the view is

3:52

your shoulders are slumped heads down you know um it’s low energy and so it’s

3:59

really hard to go after what you want when you’re in that position and so it’s so powerful because it’s like hey we all

4:06

everybody wants to be happy period and one of the ways that we get happy is by feeling like we’re getting what we want

4:12

yeah a lot of people think on the surface it’s a car a house a family or whatever but it’s something that those

4:18

things give you that’s internal that you really want fulfillment love you know

4:24

some kind of satisfaction and so if you want to get those things you better up your confidence confidence gain yeah wow

4:32

amen amen Ser anything you add to that yeah yeah so to me confidence is

4:39

leadership you know if you look at any leader they the I believe that the

4:46

greatest leaders and I actually heard this today when I was listening to a segment is that the greatest leaders

4:53

exude confidence and also humility at the same time I believe that it’s it’s

4:58

such a like great way to describe it because confidence gives you the courage

5:04

to play a bigger game yeah right like for your audience like whether it’s you

5:10

know generating greater income expand expansion in life right like money

5:15

touches every part of our lives like you got to have the confidence to believe it you got to have the confidence to get

5:22

after it and you got to have the confidence to believe that you’re worthy

5:27

of receiving it yes yes I’m curious for both of you

5:33

because someone who’s watching the video or listening to you talk they’re going to see both of you or hear even just hear the intonation in your voice and

5:40

like these women are confident like you absolutely are and I feel that from you

5:45

and I want to hear your perspective on cultivating this if someone’s listening and they’re like I’m in a place where I

5:52

don’t feel really confident maybe I’ve never felt confident in my life or maybe I’m confident in certain areas and not

5:58

in others so there’s all these different different ways this can play out in our life but have you both always felt like

6:05

you were naturally confident it’s totally okay if you have I think some people are maybe boring with that um but

6:11

if not maybe tell us about a time when you didn’t feel confident and how did

6:17

you start to cultivate that in yourself and transform that for yourself so good great question

6:24

go yeah so first and foremost for a longer portion of my life I did not feel

6:30

confident but I always knew that I was different and I always knew that I was special so that’s what made me believe

6:37

that I could become that so I believe that the gateway to confidence is

6:42

self-discipline now something to note about confidence is that while in

6:48

general if you see me nowadays you will see a confident version of me and the

6:56

thing about confidence is that it’s really perishable so every single day our confidence is back to zero right

7:03

that’s why I’m a firm proponent in discipline because discipline allows allows me to continuously gain my

7:11

confidence especially during difficult days when I do not feel confident in myself I have this thing that I can look

7:19

back at and it is how I showed up for myself I believe that without discipline one cannot be confident because when

7:26

we’re disciplined we’re being ethical and we’re leading in Integrity with our

7:32

word and when we’re not leading with discipline then what ends up happening is we’re not been true to ourselves

7:39

right so that touches our self for wow wow I’ve never I want to just pause Aon

7:44

before you add in um your perspective on that I don’t think I’ve ever heard it said that way that confidence is

7:51

perishable that’s that’s super interesting to me and it makes sense too

7:57

um because if we think about it that way it’s like every every single day we have the opportunity to show up we have the

8:03

opportunity to um do better I mean even I’m just thinking about in my own life

8:08

yesterday I I’m an early riser and I set the alarm early and I like you both do

8:15

this too but for some reason I didn’t get up with the alarm I don’t know if it didn’t go off I don’t know what happened but I woke up late and I

8:21

[Music] was we’re gonna we’re gonna go with that

8:27

we’re gonna go with that we’re gonna go with I didn’t hit it without paying

8:32

attention but I woke up late and then the whole morning was like I don’t cuss a lot on PO but it was like a show

8:38

like I’ll just call it what and I felt off but this morning I woke up woke up early on time got all the things in got

8:44

the workout in and feeling so different as a result of that so it was like back to Ground Zero today so I think that’s

8:51

also a blessing that we get to start again at zero every single day right so

8:58

yeah so Ain anything you would add to that on either just like a time in your life when you didn’t feel confident how

9:03

you overcame that what your own personal Journey has been with that yeah I think

9:08

I’m thinking about this when I was so I think there’s also a difference between confidence and

9:15

ignorance because I’m thinking about when I was a little kid it would have looked like I had confidence but I

9:21

actually probably just didn’t know if I was being judged I was just ignorant I had no clue like kids just I I wouldn’t

9:28

I wouldn’t I don’t know if they’re confident or ignorant because they’re little children they don’t know right

9:34

they don’t understand judgment or you know criticism or anything like that and

9:40

so I think as we grow up we create filters and I I in my own personal

9:49

opinion if I were to have one I don’t think anybody’s born with confidence I you know because we all

9:57

lack it at some point in time yeah every it’s called

10:04

insecurity everybody has them yeah so is anybody really born which this is good

10:10

news if you’ve never felt like a confident person like if be it true or not I don’t know make it your story and

10:17

believe it that nobody’s born with confidence and yeah if that’s the case

10:22

that means that anybody who is confident has developed the skill and if they’ve developed the skill then you can develop

10:28

the skill M and I really do believe it’s born out of action born out of following through

10:34

with our word when you say I’m going to go to the gym and you don’t that’s like somebody saying yeah we’re going to go

10:40

on a date you show up at 5:00 pm and they don’t yeah do you trust them anymore do you have confidence in them

10:48

that they’re going to do what they say they’re going to do no so the same is true for us if we say I’m going to do X

10:55

Y or Z and then we don’t one time okay but then when it happens again and again

11:01

again and again and again it’s hard to believe ourselves it’s hard to have confidence or trust that we are going to show up in any certain way that is

11:08

admirable you know yeah so what I’m hearing from both of you is it really like discipline is that path right and

11:16

so if somebody is listening and maybe they don’t think they’re a disciplined person or maybe I know you know you all

11:22

serve high Achievers we have women and men who would identify as high Achievers who listen to the show as well but maybe

11:27

there’s maybe there’s a part of life where they’re not following through on their word to themselves and they like

11:33

keep breaking that promise whether it’s getting up and working out whether it’s you know certain business goals or

11:39

financial goals and like in this area I’m struggling with discipline I know you all have an incredible app that you

11:46

were just telling me about um in the pre- chat too that you bu like helps people instill those disciplines I know

11:51

how much that discipline is a focus of what you teach but so I I know there’s there’s probably beyond the scope of the

11:58

conversation today in terms of what you teach with helping with discipline but what’s something someone could start

12:03

doing now to start creating greater discipline in that area where maybe they’re struggling with it to start

12:10

building up that confidence I want okay I want to say what not to do first okay let’s do that I love that you just led

12:16

to it you said to start building up which means that super smart you don’t

12:22

just have you build yeah if you’re handed something

12:29

thing you don’t you haven’t built the tools the discipline the skills the

12:34

anything to maintain it to keep it yeah so this is the idea of where people go

12:40

on like a diet they’re like I haven’t eaten good I’ve eaten burgers and pizza

12:45

and ice cream and wings for the last not that wings are the worst thing but whatever you get it for the last hot

12:52

dogs for the last you know 10 years of my life and all of a sudden I’m going to do keto it like it just doesn’t you got to

12:59

graduate to that you’ve got to earn that and so if you’re asking like what can somebody do the smallest thing that you

13:06

truly believe in your heart you could do it for the rest of your life right now so what’s like a step right so

13:14

people will be like in our world they’ll say you know I’m gonna work out six days a January 1 I’m going to the gym six

13:21

days a week but they haven’t for years yeah so what if you could go two times

13:29

and you could just be really good at going two times for like three months

13:35

yeah and then and then you go three times or four times you look back at your life people underestimate what they can do in a

13:40

year because they want everything like I would say everybody but our society our

13:46

culture is like Amazon Prime get it delivered tomorrow yesterday yeah so if we can take take a look at like what’s

13:53

one thing I truly believe I could do it for the rest of my life and not feel like I’m suffering start there just get

13:59

really good at it prove to yourself you can be consistent then this is how our app works too then you build then you

14:05

add got it so it’s a sustainability piece and I love that question of what’s something I could do for the rest of my

14:10

life because that it puts it in perspective and it’s a clarifying question as well right it helps you see

14:16

what am I really like what am I going to be honest with myself about versus where am I just like blowing smoke and I’m not

14:22

there yet so yeah s anything you would add to that yeah and then with regards

14:27

to the rest of my life something that’s just important to discuss as well is that if you can

14:35

based on your current world viiew you saying if like this is something that I

14:41

can Implement for the rest of my life doesn’t mean that it becomes your ultimatum like so many times I hear

14:47

people talk about ultimatums and it’s like let’s not do that because the intention is to evolve and then what is

14:54

the most sustainable for you once you evolve from point A to point B right so like in the Contex of movement if let’s

15:02

say at least right like you got two kids and of course like they they take up a

15:08

lot of time and all of that let’s say if you know for sure that based on your current state like you can commit to

15:14

moving for 15 minutes every single day like you know all in then awesome let’s

15:20

do that and then the concept that I’m getting into is called building the chain

15:27

so think think about think about like from a big picture standpoint right it’s like

15:34

if you were to go and sell a chain okay it was a Golden Chain would you want it

15:40

to be like heavy and long or would you want it to be like little like let’s say

15:46

if your life depended on it like your your family’s Legacy how heavy and what

15:52

would be the worth of that chain so your discipline is like building a chain every day when you follow through with

15:59

that intention you get a loop added to your chain oh and every and then the

16:04

next day when you do you get another loop and another loop right so like for us we created a measurable system in the

16:11

app it measures things for you where you’re able to where you you are progressed based on the size of your

16:18

chain you know what cool interesting yeah I’m thinking about the chain okay let’s say one day you don’t uh oh now

16:25

you can’t continue your you got to start a new chain but that doesn’t mean you lost what you

16:30

built and I think a lot of people think oh I screwed it up so now I’ll just go

16:36

completely the other way but it’s like oh no no no you still have whatever wisdom you built you still have whatever

16:41

lessons you learned you still have this this chain still exists just because

16:46

you’re G to start a new one doesn’t mean that you don’t have what you already built so just take that forward with you

16:54

and now build an even better CH yeah yes I love that I feel like what you’re

16:59

speaking to here is something we talk about a lot in the community too it’s just just continually increasing your

17:05

level of Consciousness right so everything that is so I think we can get when someone’s a high achiever sometimes

17:10

they get caught up in perfectionism which I think is a mask for a lot of fear and like oh I’ll just you know I

17:16

messed up one day I’ll throw the whole thing out the window what you’re saying here is no you still you you’ve evolved your Consciousness to a whole new level

17:23

with every link you’ve put in the chain and then Ser to your point as well it’s

17:28

like maybe there’s a habit or a discipline that’s going to serve you well at this point in your life but then you reach another level of Consciousness

17:34

and it’s okay what’s the there’s something new that I’m going to add in there’s something I’m going to evolve into so it that that progression that

17:42

growth that expansion is continually increasing our level of confidence to higher and higher levels that maybe we

17:47

didn’t even know were possible 1,00% and that’s why like that’s why diet dieting

17:54

or just simply working out is not the solution because it’s some it’s a mechanic it is not a solution yeah

18:02

solution is having a bigger picture perspective and like you said a higher

18:08

level of Consciousness right it’s just like when it comes to let’s say s sales

18:14

or enrollment it’s not just about nailing your pitch like that is yeah right it’s not just about like

18:21

negotiating that’s a mechanic it’s about having if you really think about it a a

18:27

higher level of consciousness with regards to how you show up in the world

18:32

and how you implement emotional intelligence awareness connection

18:39

intimacy right all of it yeah and that’s and and that’s why and that’s when you

18:46

land the message more powerfully that’s all it is it’s an more it’s an energy

18:52

and and an internal work more than it is a mechanic yeah totally this is why we we resonate so much because it’s it’s

18:58

like we teach the same thing in different Avenues right different parts of life so because it’s all enrollment

19:04

so like what we do is we teach people how to be enrolled in themselves when you enrolled in yourself you you can AKA

19:11

confidence I love that enrollment in yourself yes you can enroll anybody on

19:16

anything like watch someone confident like they don’t need to be like they don’t need to know the ins and outs

19:22

about like the the details of the product it is their energy yes yes right

19:29

100% 100% yeah I want to say one thing and then I have like one other topic I

19:35

want to I want to ask you both about um as it pertains to confidence so one

19:40

thing I would just add on to this kind of my own personal reflection is I don’t think it’s a bad thing to not be

19:47

confident in certain areas because I I I think if we’re completely confident in

19:52

every area now I think we can get Confidence from something outside of us something bigger than us like knowing that even if we are new in an area we

19:59

can figure it out and master it but I think if we’re continually pushing and evolving ourselves in any new area we

20:05

haven’t mastered yet we’re not necessarily going to feel completely confident and yet so iuse I I will also

20:10

look at okay if there’s an area that I am I don’t use the word struggling in but an area that I haven’t mastered yet

20:17

or I don’t have that complete confidence yet it’s it’s not a bad thing it means I’m growing as well it’s more of an opportunity to grow rather than like a

20:24

doing something wrong type of thing so side note that I would just you know add into this conversation but the one other

20:30

area I want to ask you both about we started to go down this path towards the

20:36

beginning and I know we’ve got just a bit of time here before you all go on for your live streams I want to be on you I want to honor that maybe we’ll

20:42

have you back for a fuller conversation about this but overcoming the fear of judgment as we confidently put ourselves

20:49

out there so good oh my gosh so good oh my gosh I I want to hear your

20:55

perspective on this because this is like I was talking to a a client yesterday a

21:01

new member of our community and she’s a singer she’s a singer she’s a wonderful performer she’s in sales as well and we

21:08

were just talking about she had been like putting herself out there last year on social and got some judgment and got

21:15

some nastiness and I shared this with you all like last year like my heart got

21:20

hurt and some scenarios that felt like judgment and felt like G like it just

21:27

didn’t feel good how do but I also know there is something being cultivated in me within that so I think

21:32

something it’s always working for us even when we have those moments of judgment or feeling like people are um

21:39

looking at us a certain way how do you all approach that how do we maintain that confidence as we’re putting

21:45

ourselves out there if we’re bumping up against any sort of fear of judgment or maybe you have been judged in the past

21:50

and you feel nervous to put yourself out there oh this is so good and I would

21:56

even say inevitable we are Al the the beautiful thing about

22:02

human beings is that we’re all different and the challenging thing about human beings is we’re all

22:07

different and so that means my opinion is not going to match your opinion and what you do and the way that I think

22:13

that you do it might go against my morals or ethics and that doesn’t I

22:20

think I I really want to like provide a solution in the mind around this but the

22:28

the truth is that it is not easy and um it’s just something that gets you

22:37

become more okay with the more you experience it so don’t avoid it but also

22:42

don’t go out there and like be an i a-hole and like try to get people to hate you yeah be if you’re being

22:48

authentic truly authentic there’s going to be somebody that does not agree that

22:55

doesn’t like it or is just angry and wants to say something to somebody that makes them feel better um now I do

23:03

believe that there is feedback that can be very constructive I think it just depends on

23:10

who it’s coming from yeah where is the criticism or judgment as we feel it

23:17

coming from because if it’s from somebody I love and I trust and I admire

23:23

and we’ve known each other for a long time and they say hey I think like this felt a little bit out of line

23:29

I will actually take that and I’ll think okay let let me evaluate and reflect on

23:35

on that maybe maybe there was a better way that I could have done this or maybe it was the wrong timing for this it

23:41

wasn’t necessarily the wrong thing it was just bad timing yeah and so I think

23:47

that it’s good to look at that but then also to say I heard somebody say I think it was Alex horos who was like if if I

23:54

wouldn’t if you wouldn’t be invited to speak at my funeral I’m not I don’t care about what you have to say to say and I

24:00

was like that’s I mean that’s very powerful in in essence like the same thing right right and with judgment too

24:09

I think it’s good to be mindful of ourselves because usually other people are a mirror because what we are seeing

24:16

in them is only part of them it’s not the it’s out of context just like

24:22

somebody may take something that you do or say or whatever on social media out of context this happens to Super famous

24:29

people all the time this happens on the news all the time it’s so manipulated and they’ll take like one little piece

24:35

of what somebody said that is so out of context has nothing to do what the actual situation was about but will

24:41

paint them in a really terrible light yeah so if somebody’s also judging you or criticizing you understand that

24:48

you’re only seeing a fraction of them as well so it doesn’t help for the like to

24:56

just have the same attitude and behavior towards them I I still get to learn how to be better at this yeah um and so it’s

25:05

kind of like if what you’re seeing in them is something you’re familiar with because that’s the reason that that’s

25:11

the piece of them that you’re seeing yeah and so then look back at you and

25:17

say why is that what I’m pulling out of like recently this is vulnerable but we

25:24

were very uh we went through a lot of challenging times at the end of last last year very challenging probably the

25:30

most challenging experience that we’ve had and it was so challenging because it

25:36

felt like my character is being

25:43

misinterpreted and then shared in interpretation yeah and I

25:50

can’t do I’m helpless yeah I can’t I’m not going to go to try to defend myself I know who I am I still slept at night

25:56

every night yeah because I know who I am however it felt it feels like betrayal it feels like you

26:03

know heartbreak whatever you want to call it so recently I noticed myself and

26:09

I started reflecting on this I’ll let you talk in a second I started reflecting on this

26:14

every time I got a message from somebody I hadn’t heard from for a while or every time I got there was an email I don’t

26:21

know if you experienced this but it’s like it was so heavy at one point that it’s like I’m like trying to prep myself

26:28

is it going to be something and I’m like where I need to let this go and expect

26:35

for great things to be coming my way not complaints not um negativity not

26:42

whatever else like yeah and so it’s like I for myself to have an expectation that

26:49

this person really doesn’t mean to harm for these people they don’t mean to harm

26:54

they just don’t know what they don’t know and I don’t know what know so we can leave it at that and I’ll continue

27:00

to be authentic if you’re sleeping at night I’ll tell you you don’t have a problem you know you and and you’re

27:06

confident in you yeah it’s where you’re like you think that they’re actually

27:12

right where maybe you get to like dig into yourself a little

27:17

bit wow oh my gosh I feel that so much everything yeah s i i want you to add in

27:25

um and I’ll just the the piece about everyone being a mirror is so true so when we can have

27:32

that higher level of Consciousness when we’re receiving judgment from someone else if it’s triggering us if it’s snaring us emotionally it’s like there’s

27:39

something there um that we get to explore a little bit Ser what would you what would you add on to

27:45

that th this is where discipline comes into play because reputation is what you

27:51

and you said this the other day reputation is what people say about you character is what you build you are so so

28:00

when I lean on my discipline every single day and even like you had a tough

28:06

year last year we had a year last year and it feels like you’re going through all this noise or like Wilderness or

28:14

whatever you want to call it the reason why Aon and I could sleep at night is because we knew deep down

28:21

that we LED with Integrity now how other people choose to perceive us and and

28:26

look at us because we are leading with integrity that’s their perception of

28:32

life I cannot I cannot control how other people perceive me you know for me what

28:39

I know is that I show up as my most confident self when I lead with

28:46

Integrity with myself and with the higher power and when I do that and when I follow through with what I said I was

28:52

going to do and where my intentions regardless of how uncomfortable they are

28:57

are in alignment with the greater good and where it is that I want to go then ultimately that’s all that matters and I

29:04

know that the rest will be taken care of could feel sucky in the moment but that’s why one of the things we say is

29:11

that greatness was wasn’t meant to be [Laughter]

29:17

convenient something that really gives me peace too is knowing like you know for

29:24

whoever’s listening if you believe in God or you believe iner power I know

29:29

it’s between me and God yeah and if I feel good about that what is anybody

29:34

else’s opinion including my own you know wow there’s the thumb do you see it you got you’ve actually had

29:41

two thumbs up you missed it the other way Zoom likes our conversation it’s G

29:49

[Laughter] us for anyone listening uh we got the

29:57

zoom thumbs up twice twice in this conversation so we trying to make it happen before the call didn’t happen

30:02

boom just let it happen organically so yeah just remembering big picture big picture between you and God um man this

30:11

is this is so good there’s like so many other caps I would love to take this

30:16

conversation out I know we’re at time and I want to honor um but you you all have a live stream five days a week that

30:22

people can catch by the way so I’d love if you share that CU I know you’re about to go do that but maybe you can share um just how people can get involved in your

30:29

community share about your app I know you’ve got a quiz that people can take too if they really want to take this

30:34

conversation around discipline right and figure out where can I strengthen myself where can I grow my confidence you have

30:40

these five pillars that you teach that you address in the quiz so I’ll let you talk about it but please share how could

30:46

someone connect further in get in your energy and become part of the community if they want to yeah thank you for the blessing of

30:53

inviting people into our world too yeah we have so the quiz that we have is something

31:00

that I mean everything’s going to be on Ain and street.com depending on when you’re listening to this it might

31:05

already be up it might not but Ain and.com um there’s a quiz there and

31:12

maybe it’s into show notes or maybe not I don’t know um but we do the first

31:19

three weeks of the month we go live usually Monday through Friday unless we’re traveling or something like that

31:26

um and it’s on our Facebook group uh we just live stream from our Facebook group which is Erin and Serit

31:33

and we talk about all different kind of things yeah like every normally normally

31:39

it’s with regards to like building a sustainable lifestyle and achieving high performance and then uh Thursdays are

31:47

normally guest interviews and then Fridays are fun fridays where we kind of like talk about what happened this week

31:53

and what what the heck we’re up to and just I call it what the Friday oh what the

31:59

it’s kind of better and so so this quiz it’s a you know how like have you

32:07

ever felt I’m I’m speaking to you and the audience have you ever felt that you’re like man I know I could be more

32:14

discipline but what does that look like right it it’s like or I know I could be in better shape or have better

32:20

energy or how but so the question is how do we make it tangible

32:26

so our system works because we we give you a number one we we look at you as a

32:33

whole person it’s not just a diet it’s not just a workout we look at you as an entire like body mind and soul right so

32:40

like the Five Pillars that we we teach and teach you how to apply are based on

32:47

movement nutrition recovery mindset and mental toughness

32:53

and it’s all backed up by discipline right so it’s like for anyone who’s thinking like like man I know I could be

32:58

more disciplined but what does that look like like imagine if you ever like took a quiz that could like literally give

33:04

you a score this is your discipline score like tell you where you’re at that’s exactly what arise is all about

33:11

like it it asks you behavioral questions and the intention of that is for you to learn about yourself okay like when it

33:17

comes to my discipline where am I at to where I know I could be based on like high level standards with regards to

33:24

nutrition where am I at based on where it is that I want to be and it’s principle based it is not you know like

33:31

you gotta be keto or you gotta be vegan so it doesn’t matter what your preference is those are just mechanics

33:36

it’s from a higher level standard like where are you at in terms of consistency

33:42

so what we what’s the next step for you right the value of squiz which I believe

33:48

is probably going to be in your show notes or something along these lines and thank you for providing that for

33:54

audience is to give people a level of awareness because we cannot change what

34:00

we’re not aware of right where am I at with regards to these pillars so that

34:07

you know when you take the qu you’re like okay so my score for discipline is this out of this and then we give you

34:14

action steps so that you’re able to continue to rise up and rise up and rise up amazing that’s so oh my gosh that’s

34:20

so helpful after you after you see your results too it also gives you like what

34:27

what can’t what are some things that I can do I can start doing right now for every pillar to prove from where I’m at

34:34

right now so it’s tangible yes we love that we love tangible we love it’s it’s

34:39

a solid system it’s tangible that’s amazing so yes thank you so so much so

34:45

um for everyone listening that we’ll link the quiz and the show notes we’ll link Erin Street’s website everything you’re doing you’ve built a

34:51

phenomenal community and I think again there’s such alignment between what like if you like what we talk about here on

34:56

the podcast then you absolutely want to connect with Aon and Serene and get in their energy

35:01

and they’re going to help you elevate on the side of Health Fitness Wellness mental resilience toughness like you all

35:07

are just amazing so I know you’ve got to go do your live stream and go serve your community but thank you both so much for

35:13

being here so much love to you both um and just so grateful for you so thank you I can’t wait for part two I know I

35:21

know we I feel like we like opened up a lot of different conversations I want to come back and go deeper in so we’ll have you back again um but thank you so so

35:28

much so much love to you both thank you right absolutely all right to you my listener oh my gosh please go connect

35:35

with Ain and ser you are going to be so glad that you did so grateful as always to have you as a member of the She Sells

35:42

community as a listener of She Sells radio and I will see you on the next episode bye for now

 

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